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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 101
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Putting out too soon????Page 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Thing is.....every individual "category"; i.e. religious, athiest, conservative, etc
will have differing views when it comes to intimacy and relationships.

Most of us that have experienced a variety of relationships, will base our opinions on what has worked or not worked for us in the past, no matter our spiritual views.

You can spout your beliefs and beliefs of others all day long, it will never sway my personal views.

I have said it before in these forums, and I guess I will say it again......
"WHEN" I had sex has never had an impact on the demise of any of my LTR's.
I've had sex on the first day and was married to him for 10 years and I have waited up to 6 months and was in a 3 years LTR........the end of those relationships had absolutely nothing to do with when we first had sex.

As a grown adult, I know the difference between passion and love. I will never judge a man's long term potential on his ability to give me orgasms........BUT I will judge him on his INability to give me an orgasm, and I'd much rather know that sooner rather than later!!!
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 102
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/15/2013 3:35:37 AM
Oh come on,your history reflects a player from what I have read over the years.
What's your number again and how long did you wait to have sex with them?
Must be a change of heart reflective of the emptiness of casual sex you have engaged in.
And there is nothing "flawed" about the fact that alot of people who choose to wait
have ties to religion or a much stricter "sexual morality" that has more to do with fear based thinking,than how sex effects intimacy.


http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/sep/24/moral-case-for-sex-before-marriage
Most adult human beings naturally desire sex. And despite the rightwing emphasis on concepts like "purity", having sex does not actually make you a dirty or "impure" person. On the contrary, sex is like most other pleasurable things in life – you can have sex in ways that are fulfilling, fun, good and generous, or you can have sex in ways that are harmful, bad and dangerous. Marriage is not, and has never been, a way to protect against the harmful, bad and dangerous potential of sex (just read the Bible if you want a few examples). Instead of fooling ourselves into thinking that waiting until marriage makes sex "good", we should focus on how ethical, responsible sexual practices – taking precautions to protect the physical and mental health of yourself and your partner; having sex that is fully consensual and focused on mutual pleasure – are part of being an ethical, responsible human being.

Sexual morality isn't about how long you wait. It's about how you treat yourself and the people you're with.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_relationship

Emotional intimacy, particularly in sexual relationships, typically develops after physical bonds have been established. The emotional connection of "falling in love", however, has both a biochemical dimension, driven through reactions in the body stimulated by sexual attraction and a social dimension driven by "talk" that follows from regular physical closeness or sexual union.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 103
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/15/2013 7:13:18 AM

(hearton64) http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/sep/24/moral-case-for-sex-before-marriage
Most adult human beings naturally desire sex. And despite the rightwing emphasis on concepts like "purity", having sex does not actually make you a dirty or "impure" person.


Just an aside: if the sex doesn't make you feel dirty, you're doing it wrong...

There's been some talk about this and that study showing a correlation between having sex early, and relationships not lasting, mostly p0sted by self-styled statisticians, who should know that correlation does not prove causation.
 Sundust20
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 104
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/15/2013 8:54:29 AM
Am so sure that men do not mind putting out on the first date,so why should that be a problem for men if a woman wanna put out on the first date,should they all not be very happy?
 KToned53
Joined: 3/2/2012
Msg: 105
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/15/2013 2:14:48 PM
I ALWAYS respect thw women, If we really hit it off and end up in bed Great!!!!!. If not , well she is in charge anf makes the call. I respect her either way. If she into me and i am into her, we will end up there eventually.
 differentcloth
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 106
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/15/2013 3:13:01 PM
Wow! How did religion make it's way into this question that was asked? I've never experienced too many people whom have gotten married because of sex. Reason for that, I don't know too many people whom are die hard religious freaks.
 TheJoker35
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 107
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/15/2013 7:21:20 PM
Message Number 1
Do you honestly think the men that respond to this are going to say anything negative about women that sleep with them right away on here? Of course not, that would be breaking the Bro rule.

Very rarely does anything ever evolve from having sex with a man right away except maybe obtaining a FB. Notice I said "very rarely", not never.
 Roll_with_the_Changes
Joined: 10/3/2012
Msg: 108
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/16/2013 12:06:07 AM
Truth in a nut-shell? 98.99% of guys will be GONE once you give awway the prize too soon! Sorry players just keeping it real....lol
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 109
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:31:02 AM
^^^^^Thier loss.

But I will have to disagree.I have never made men wait if I was horny too!
And really for the one's who left because I "gave it away" too soon,
they missed out on some great long term sex and love!

The one's who stayed,like my S/O get "the prize" whenever they want.

I found that men who didn't have to jump thru multiple hoops or be made to wait to "prove themselves" or be expected to be in a committed relationship first to get "some" actually appreciated it and wanted more.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 110
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:35:25 AM

Truth in a nut-shell? 98.99% of guys will be GONE once you give awway the prize too soon!

Total rubbish.. if all they want is the prize, it makes absolutely no difference WHEN. A player can string them along for as long as it takes and contrary to whatever illusion you dwell under.. most guys aren't players. Hell, most of the guys here can't kiss girls let alone play them.
 TheFuryan
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 111
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/16/2013 3:00:28 PM

I am in the get to know them box not for any moralistic or religious reasons but because to me its common sense. I like to now who I am getting jiggy with and what kind of person they are. Intimacy is bonding and I don't want to bond emotionally with the wrong person.
We are all different and each to their own, I know it would not work for me. Best to see what kind of person they are and form a friendship and emotional intimacy first. Good old fashioned courting. Flirt, neck, tease and build up the tension. Whats the rush anyway.



That's refreshing to hear.
 FuturePlans76
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 112
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/16/2013 9:42:58 PM
There is no such thing as to soon. I am more willing to stay around longer if I find someone thats good with sex, than someone that makes me wait for sex.

The sooner the better! Sex is the 2nd most common reason for relationship failures. Next to Money. Im not looking to date someone for 3 months to find out that ourt sex is not compatible. I have been in that situation way to many times.

Be safe, enjoy it. Sex is the single reason we date who we date. Lets all be honest. Straight people go for the opposite sex. gay/lesbian go for same sex. Its all based around sex, so why wait? Doesnt make sense that there is a crazy taboo from society. If you both want to, then do it.
 LucidTheory
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 113
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/16/2013 10:55:22 PM
'putting out too soon' - there is such a thing?

If you don't trust yourself or your instincts - then maybe you should abide by some kinda dating rules or policy. One common dating 'rule' is not to have sex until the 6th date at least. If it doesn't last that long, then at least you won't feel bad about giving sex too early and fearing him thinking of you as a slut. By the 6th date, then presumably yall are at a good place and going somewhere.

I trust myself and go with my feelings, so I don't abide by any rules or policy. If I'm feeling a guy, I can and will sex him on a first date no big deal. That doesn't mean he's getting anything if I'm interested, it just means that if I feel like I want to sex him, then I will.

But note, I can usually tell within the first 5 to 15 minutes if I like a guy or not, and if he's worth getting any. I wouldn't even date, let alone have a relationship with a guy who would think I'm a ho or slut for giving him sex 'too soon' while he thinks it's OK that he did it. I'm inquisitive and not shy about asking questions, and what he answers and how he answers determines what I think of him and if he deserves any more of my time, attention, and body. If not, I keep steppin. If so, I keep talkin and havin fun.
 Mishellelavee
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 114
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/17/2013 10:04:46 AM
Wow Bostonbrat, you make it sound like you are 'all that!' and because she is getting 'older' she needs to spread because older woman are what? Losing their youth by the second? OMG...youve got to be kidding me. In my 'youth' I could get anyone I wanted. Now that Im not 20 anymore, I can tell you I am still picky and want to make sure Im gonna 'spread like peanut butter' for the right guy. Just cuz we dont f*** on the 1st date doesnt me we are uptight. I havent been out with anyone yet on this site that I want to f***!!
 Mishellelavee
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 115
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/17/2013 10:09:07 AM
I SO agree roll with the changes. Exactly right. Lets keep it real. I do appreciate the men that say they only want to have fun and dont want a relationship. At least they are honest. I bypass them quick, cuz I dont want a player. But they know what they want AND I know what I want.
 angellight2091
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 116
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/17/2013 3:00:19 PM

left High School in 1982 and with it,all the stigma's and childish mentalities that come with being a sexually liberated,assertive and empowered woman with my own desires and sexual goals!

If a man has the right to judge me on how "soon I put out" he's also got the right to keep his d*ck in his pants!


Luv it.. I mean, your not going to sleep with everybody..But if you meet someone, if it feels right, your attracted and your both comfortable... We are all adults here right..
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 117
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/17/2013 3:29:28 PM

Luv it.. I mean, your not going to sleep with everybody..But if you meet someone, if it feels right, your attracted and your both comfortable...


Exactly.;)


We are all adults here right..


I thought so.

But bottom line,not everyone feels the same way and that's ok.

There really is no right or wrong way to approach love and sex,only individual choices.

I simply do buy into the alleged shame of female sexuality or male hypocracy or conservative ideals like some do.

My p*ssy...my choice.I do appreciate the Feminist Movement and Sexual liberation that gave us choices other than waiting until love,commitment or marriage to have an orgasm tho. :)

Putting out "too soon" to me is subjective.And,if anyone here knows me,I am ALL about love and sex and enjoying a relationship instead of casual sex and the emptiness of it.I just tend to jump "all in" earlier than some might consider respectable.And who are they to judge?

As for whether it "ruins" the chances of having a LTR,well,that just depends on what the man was after in the first place and I have no way of knowing that no matter how long I withhold sex.

Happy Fishin'!
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 118
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/17/2013 4:57:44 PM

Truth in a nut-shell? 98.99% of guys will be GONE once you give awway the prize too soon! Sorry players just keeping it real....lol


absolute rubbish
 meowkatt2012
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 119
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/17/2013 8:28:35 PM
I agree that's total rubbish. I have my own proof. My late husband and I slept together on the first meeting and we were together 9 years until he passed away. And, I have had more recent realtionships where I also did, and they didn't work out but not because of sleeping together on the first meeting. I will have sex with someone when I feel it's right. If it's the first time I meet him then let it be that. That's not how I gauge a relationship and neither do the guy's I want to be with. If they do feel that way then, I made a mistake and oh well we had fun anyway. Nothing is perfect and you can't know if you sleep with someone on the 6th date that things will work out either. It takes more than when you had sex for a relationship to develop.
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 120
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/17/2013 8:31:26 PM
Truth in a nut-shell? 98.99% of guys will be GONE once you give awway the prize too soon! Sorry players just keeping it real....lol

What an idiot! It's because of morons like Roll_with_the_changes, that this topic of debate ever gained a foothold in the first place. Because people who think like him deluded womens and maybe some mens thought process's into viewing themselves and sex as a prize rather than caring people with any substance, who just wanna enjoy sex. I'll adress this comment to the ladies, since it alway's seems to be the ladies who bring this topic up, if you had sex with a man and he dropped you afterward like a hot potatoe, then he was just a player! And I know women are just as guilty, as I've been more less ignored by woman after having sex promptly upon meeting them. But then I met some at a later date, and we still had fun and talked (we were still friends). So, I take it all they wanted was sex, no big deal!
 *Dr_Hugnkiss*
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 121
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/20/2013 5:34:05 AM
I reckon people who are rubbish at sex will wait to "get to know" someone...

...and people who are great aren't worried about putting someone off...just saying ;o)

*removes tongue from cheek*
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 122
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/20/2013 5:38:16 AM
LOL.....if it was only that simple.^^^^
 Zot
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 123
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/20/2013 8:24:55 AM
Sex is a fundamental makeup of humans. Among consenting adults, "when" a man and woman have sex is not important. What is important is do the couple have a positive attraction to each other.
 sweetshykat
Joined: 2/9/2013
Msg: 124
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/21/2013 4:38:58 AM
So if things are going well and you are in a hot make out session and things are getting hotter by the minute you should stop for some old wives tale? That does not make sense unless you both agree it is too soon or are in the car lol...

It has been said many times we are adults and if it feels right and the questions have been asked and answered then it is your lives,live it the way you want.
 02gixxerjake
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 125
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 2/23/2013 10:37:48 AM
lol^^^^on the subject Too soon = not GF/wife material IMO needs to be at least past date 3-4 get to know each other a little more. If it happens on the first or second I kind of wonder does she give it to everyone this easy
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