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 AmyJo112
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 163
Putting out too soon????Page 9 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Ummm, isn't high school over? Put out....seriously?
Two mature adults can decide if having sex is what they want to do or not. Let's say you do have sex - who is to say you would want a second date yourself? What if after sex, you're the one not satisfied and don't want another date? Hmmmm - does this in turn make YOU the shallow, disrespected, 'player' in the game? Grow up and think like a big girl...everything is just chance - there's a chance it will go well, there's a chance it won't.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 164
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:15:13 AM

cherangel50
Thank you! You are 100% right. People who do wait for love/ or even marriage statistically are happier with their eventual sex life and are more likely to stay together. Secondly, the sexual act causes the a release of a hormone in the female that creates an artificial bond. The result is it is more difficult to distingish lust from love.


Without hard scientific data to back up your claim, it's just another opinion.



However, I personally find this hook up society as detrimental to marriages and to families and to creating a lasting loving relationship. An enjoyable night usually doesn't lead to long term happiness and usually isn't worth it.


Another opinion without hard data to back it up. Where I've found the opposite. The longer we waited the shorter the overall Relationship was.

Then maybe it was because when we finally did it, it wasn't that special and I was asking myself why I waited for this.


Football11234
If you put out, make sure it's with a decent guy, not a player. If you put out with a player he's off. I heard 6 dates in is a good time to put out.


What makes you think someone who likes the game, the chase, isn't going to play with you till he wins and then take off after his next conquest? 6 dates, 12 dates, what ever, you're not the only one he's got on the hook and playing at that time. To the guys and girls that like playing games. the game it self is more fun than landing the fish. Look at people who go 'catch and release' fishing, they don't keep the fish they catch. They're there for the chase and fighting the fish till they land it. Then they do it all over again.
 drewsbu
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 165
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/8/2013 3:40:56 AM
No worries, your from Boston so you are expected to put out sooner rather then later. Lets go Yanks! Haha
 forrb23
Joined: 1/31/2013
Msg: 166
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/8/2013 4:16:55 AM
WOW 9 pages of responses, Shit now I forgot the question. Was it" putting out" too soon, or "pulling out" too soon lol

There are times when people have a good connection. I would have no problem. Assuming there had been contact prior through phone and e-mail conversations. Now, meet in the bar, couple hours later she is scratching her nails down your back and you are trying to remember her name. Not so much the love of my life.
 *Dr_Hugnkiss*
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 167
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/8/2013 5:42:55 AM
Talk to them early I have 2 male friends that both lost their virginity at 10 and 11...interestingly enough with a 16yr old babysitter.

I know it's not right/ideal/moral/whatever but it does happen so best to talk before it does I reckon.
 Latin0dawg2012
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 168
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/8/2013 7:17:52 AM
I'm not quick to judge but I would "think" a person who puts out too soon has emotional and self esteem issues, plus they're horny has hell and addicted to sex where ever they go. So experience conversations in-person has taught me that.

"don't sit next to me on the bus or plane" XD
 Solomonlike
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 169
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/17/2013 2:20:47 PM
I personally find this hook up society as detrimental to marriages and to families and to creating a lasting loving relationship. An enjoyable night usually doesn't lead to long term happiness and usually isn't worth it.

Exactly, in fact the levels of enjoyment during that night/day are generally not as high as what would occur if true intimacy is built prior to the physical sexual expression. Those who have extensively studied Tantra for example can attest to this.


Expecting to be the only one your partner is sticking his little man in is not equal to holding your sex over his head to get what you want out of a relationship. With many people (myself included) sex is more than just doing the nasty. This is especially true is real feelings involved.
I concur. I'd argue that when real feeling(high levels of interconnected intimacy) isn't involved it is a somewhat unnatural exercise or exercise against our very biological/psychological/emotional/hormonal makeup.

Really doesn't some of this come down to being honest with ourselves? The question is always what do we really want from an interaction with another. Those of us who truly want a healthy, functioning, long lasting monogamous relationship must understand the essential merit of building real intimacy prior to the physical expression of sex. Those who truly enjoy and appreciate higher levels of sexual expression understand this. Those who desire shorter term less intimate relationships tend to share different perspectives on this. We tend to get the fruit from our investment regardless of perspective more often than not. Results reflect knowledge.
 Needingaladyfriend
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 170
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/19/2013 7:51:18 AM
Yes I can! my first wife did and we was married a long time,we are still great friends even after we went our separate ways. I really see no problem with it if two people really like each other and know that the other is safe to be with. Just because some might put out the first time doesn't mean they are trash. But I do think that it is wrong for a guy to use a women just once and forget about her after she gave herself to him like that on the first date. I guess a lot would depend on the situation between the two though.
 NASH58
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 171
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/24/2013 11:00:40 AM
first maybe not but would be ok 2ed date put out or i would never she here again like it best on the first date Tom
 independant_thinker72
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 172
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/24/2013 4:17:59 PM
if i believe a woman is worth it to try and pursue for a true relationship then the chase is on, if i get lucky right off the bat with her when she still doesn't know what i'm all about and i the same with her then i lose lots of respect for her and even a little of myself.

as much as i've ever said i don't chase woman i know it's a bloody lie if i think she's worth it.
 Here4ForumsOnly
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 173
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/24/2013 4:25:29 PM
Aside from sex, what is her value?

Sure, the homemaker, trusted advisor & counselor, best friend & her income potential are ALL truly invaluable components in an LTR, but "your mileage may vary" upon the realization of those benefits.

T&A

Those represent the summation of her unique value in an LTR.

Wish it were different, but welcome to reality, as opposed to romantic fantasy.
 leathergoeslace
Joined: 3/22/2013
Msg: 174
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/25/2013 10:40:18 AM
Whoever you are I love you!! Awesome, how can anyone question the right thing to do. That's why women find themselves in trouble!!
 leathergoeslace
Joined: 3/22/2013
Msg: 175
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/25/2013 10:47:48 AM
Well put my friend.....Such a freaking double standard .. Makes me sick.. They want you they want you and can't wait, but then your not good enough for them to continue seeing.. Grow Up guys. That is sooo selfish
 36steveo
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 176
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/27/2013 5:52:53 AM
never before on the third date then tell him it is important to see what he has going on down south but tell him to go down on him and you will do the same, oral before intercourse
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 177
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/27/2013 7:10:42 AM
OP, if everything is perfect I go for it. The timing does not matter, whether it's first date or several. However, I might lose interest if she keeps delaying, denying and procrastinating. At some point I get the vibe that she's not that much into me.

If anything, first date sex is the hottest and makes me want to see her more. But times changed and now second or third is fine.
 HAWKEYE1940
Joined: 5/8/2012
Msg: 178
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/27/2013 7:40:26 AM
Yep, the fact that you use the term "puts out" spells easy and frequent and perhaps dangerous.
 FreeCarrie
Joined: 11/8/2012
Msg: 179
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/27/2013 8:30:57 AM
Where has the romance, the getting to know someone gone??? If you are really into someone then you both know it will happen what's the rush?? Isn't the build up and anticipation worth experiencing.

I think most people know when its only ever going to be a friendship but nothing more, and I say to the men out there that don't want to hang around, DON'T, move on to someone who will give you what you want straight away.

Not saying sex on a first date shouldn't happen we are all consenting adults, each to their own but, if you are seeing someone who could become someone special, why not build up to something amazing?

Everyone has their own opinion and what works for them but I just prefer to wait (and I don't mean forever, i mean for maybe a few dates or so, so I know I am not being used and I know enough about the person).
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 180
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/27/2013 8:56:11 AM

so I know I am not being used

You are not being used. You know exactly what you are getting into. Sex between consenting adults and an uncertain future. Beats just an uncertain future. I would see your point if there was any way to know for sure by waiting. In my lifetime experience I could not see a correlation. So I take the sex when the mood strikes.

Having said that, I agree to waiting if she's not ready. I disagree when it's just a matter of principle, which ironically makes ME the player in her opinion. In poker terms, if a woman sweeps me off my feet, I'm all in. Any deviation from that on my side would be manipulation. Interestingly, I've met women who said they wouldn't but did anyway. It's a case-by-case scenario. If the guy seems to only want sex, bail. If he is genuine, do what you feel like.

But you are never 'used', unless it's rape of course.
 Odin737
Joined: 3/7/2013
Msg: 181
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/27/2013 9:05:54 AM
It think it is a moral imperative to wait until at lease the second or third date.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 182
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/27/2013 1:16:02 PM

Avoid men who habitually wear dark slacks and collared shirts. Men who part their hair to one side or another. Stick to men who part down the middle or not at all. Avoid crew cuts and flat tops. Stay away from black oxford shoes and penny loafers. etc They give themselves away by their dress unmistakably. Like a lighthouse on a moonless night.


Thanks for the laugh! Absurdity can be quite amusing.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 183
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/27/2013 1:24:15 PM

Odin737
It think it is a moral imperative to wait until at lease the second or third date.


A moral imperative, Really, A MORAL IMPERATIVE?
You two had first date sex, someone get a rope, gather the stones. We have to show these Evil Creatures.
Oh, it was your second date, you're good, go on, sorry to bother you.
Does anyone else see the Insanity of this reasoning?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 184
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/28/2013 6:34:40 AM

Avoid men who habitually wear dark slacks and collared shirts. Men who part their hair to one side or another. Stick to men who part down the middle or not at all. Avoid crew cuts and flat tops. Stay away from black oxford shoes and penny loafers. etc They give themselves away by their dress unmistakably. Like a lighthouse on a moonless night.


That's the most ludicroius thing I've read in here for awhile!!
Wondering how you come to this conclusion!?!
 19tish67
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 185
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/29/2013 5:32:26 AM
i think it depends on the situation ive met one guy who after 2hrs of meeting wanted sex
i wanted it to so we did it was a great night and were still friends
i ave also had a very bad 1st night of meeting having my drink spiked and he did things whch were horrible he is reported

but i have also waited for a while

it depends on how we feel at the time
the horrid guy wasnt fron pof
 MrMeSir
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 186
Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/29/2013 5:53:05 AM
This isn;t christian mingle.com...
 UkSammie
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 187
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Putting out too soon????
Posted: 3/29/2013 5:23:00 PM
If someone is gonna put out the first date then theyre more than likely doing ti with others,
Me on the other hand has a 1 month rule,
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