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 CouldBWow
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 76
How do you get a womans attention in the real worldPage 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
lightningman1:

Can you walk up to a strange male out in this world and start a conversation? Like at a party, or a BBQ, or standing in line for the restrooms at a football stadium?

If 'Yes, of course, thats pretty easy!'

OK - then think about the various instances you have done so over your life.

And do the exact same thing you did with the guys - on the girls. AKA - treat them no differently than you would a guy.

You dont go up to men with some canned verbiage right? You don't compliment his physical features right? That's awkward and silly - so why do we do that with the ladies? Treat them no different than the guys.

And (genuinely) don't care about the outcome of the interaction.

If you go about in this world being social and talking to men and women alike as if there was no such thing as gender..and each time you do speak with a woman you aren't emotionally vested in the outcome - you are going to come off a lot more relaxed and comfortable in your own skin and much less likely to throw off any creep vibes.

Its really not that hard. Online dating is like 1,000x harder than chatting up people in the real world! lol
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 77
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:16:06 PM
^^^^^^ somewhat true
guy online- Hey how are you today? My name is GJ!
girl online does NOT respond at all

guy offline- Hey how are you today? My name is GJ!
girl offline- hi

so yes online is harder! the only easy part is that you know someone at least claim to be single by being on a dating site. other than that Online dating is pure awkward Madness! you may get lucky on here but never stop trying offline aswell
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 78
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/5/2013 6:17:27 PM
Here's a checklist op, take notes:

1) have ALOT of 0's in your bank account to "take care of her".
2) Make sure you work out, keep in shape, and look like a celebrity. if your last name happens to be: Pitt/Depp/Tatum, or something like that, you're golden. if not, you're totally screwed.
3) Treat the women like complete crap, call them ****es/sluts/whores/etc. They seem to like this sort of attention the most. Also, mooch off them for a bit, take money from them, tell them to STFU once in awhile(because lets face it, some women talk WAY TOO MUCH), hit or mentally/verbally abuse them for a bit as well, again, they like this sorta stuff, they get off on it, or they wouldn't keep doing it.
4) if you're the least bit: nice/good/real etc, you stand ZERO chance of finding a good girl, they don;t want that type of man, see #3 for the type of men they DO want.
5) must own your own home, cannot live with roommates/your parents/etc etc. why? they're usually sizing you up for a huge letdown once you begin any kind of romantic endeavor with them. If you own your own home, thats something they can take from you if things go sour down the road, don't fall for this.
6) make sure you demand they sign a pre-nup(and make sure it's iron clad, so they cant "fight it" in court, not even if they get Gloria Allred")
7) remember that most women don't do anything YOU want to do, but what THEY want to do, and that's how it's always going to be, why? they think their vagina's are some sort of superior object, and the only way you're getting any from them, is if you do everything they tell you to do, when they tell you to do it.
8) Now they "demand" you must drive all over timbuktoo to their place, and they put forth no effort to want to get to know you, and don;t even think of asking for a second date, it's not happening. Her and her stupid, clueless, vapid, shallow friends have already scoped you out, made their own decisions that you're just not "worthy" of her time, and you'll most likely NEVER EVER talk to her again.
9) Stay away from any women who call you: "Bitter", "Angry", "Mean", "A Woman hater", why? they're usually those things themselves, and seem to have issues with any of the things I've mentioned above. They also don't like men with balls to stand up for themselves, if you do, you'll most certainly get their wrath. These are not women who are "equals", these are the women who'll clean you out, the first chance they get, please don't allow them to do so, no matter how "sweet" or "innocent" they look/claim to be.
10) follow rules 1-9.........(and dont date single moms)


Good luck
 darkmascara
Joined: 1/26/2013
Msg: 79
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:57:48 AM
1) have ALOT of 0's in your bank account to "take care of her".

not really, some women make more then guys..

2) Make sure you work out, keep in shape, and look like a celebrity. if your last name happens to be: Pitt/Depp/Tatum, or something like that, you're golden. if not, you're totally screwed.

it goes both ways, a man who wants an attractive female should keep in shape themselves. what's wrong with that?


3) Treat the women like complete crap, call them ****es/sluts/whores/etc. They seem to like this sort of attention the most. Also, mooch off them for a bit, take money from them, tell them to STFU once in awhile(because lets face it, some women talk WAY TOO MUCH), hit or mentally/verbally abuse them for a bit as well, again, they like this sorta stuff, they get off on it, or they wouldn't keep doing it.


Don't you think you're sounding a little psycho here? beating women up? Where did you learn to act this way? I'm sure your mom wouldn't like being beaten up!


4) if you're the least bit: nice/good/real etc, you stand ZERO chance of finding a good girl, they don;t want that type of man, see #3 for the type of men they DO want.


Nah, i dont want to date a loser #3. the only type of women #3 will get are low self esteem. Women who like drugs, over weight, ugly looking..


5) must own your own home, cannot live with roommates/your parents/etc etc. why? they're usually sizing you up for a huge letdown once you begin any kind of romantic endeavor with them. If you own your own home, thats something they can take from you if things go sour down the road, don't fall for this.


my ex use to live with me. he had no car, no house, no career. basically he was a dead beat and i took care of him for more then a year.


6) make sure you demand they sign a pre-nup(and make sure it's iron clad, so they cant "fight it" in court, not even if they get Gloria Allred")


I don't believe in pre-nup. basically you're setting yourself up for a divorce.


7) remember that most women don't do anything YOU want to do, but what THEY want to do, and that's how it's always going to be, why? they think their vagina's are some sort of superior object, and the only way you're getting any from them, is if you do everything they tell you to do, when they tell you to do it.


goodboy, i guess you were trained well enough to be a dog.


8) Now they "demand" you must drive all over timbuktoo to their place, and they put forth no effort to want to get to know you, and don;t even think of asking for a second date, it's not happening. Her and her stupid, clueless, vapid, shallow friends have already scoped you out, made their own decisions that you're just not "worthy" of her time, and you'll most likely NEVER EVER talk to her again.


i think you have a lot of issues dating women. You must prefer the ghetto baby mama type. Men talk to their so call "home boys" all the time about their relationship. ah I meet my dates half way and let them TALK about themselves....Mostly letting them dictate the whole conversation. Sometimes i don't even order a meal or drink. I just want to talk to them and get to know him. They shouldn't expect anything from us women just because you want to buy us a drink or a meal.


9) Stay away from any women who call you: "Bitter", "Angry", "Mean", "A Woman hater", why? they're usually those things themselves, and seem to have issues with any of the things I've mentioned above. They also don't like men with balls to stand up for themselves, if you do, you'll most certainly get their wrath. These are not women who are "equals", these are the women who'll clean you out, the first chance they get, please don't allow them to do so, no matter how "sweet" or "innocent" they look/claim to be.


ha, I called my potential boyfriend "mean" because he wanted to KISS me. I told him I was very sick that day, and didn't want him to get sick. He was very persistent and wanted a kiss, therefore i called him "mean" because i liked him and cared about HIM.


10) follow rules 1-9.........(and dont date single moms)


single moms need love too, as much as Single dads. too many women haters
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 80
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/6/2013 4:24:47 AM

do the exact same thing you did with the guys - on the girls. AKA - treat them no differently than you would a guy.

You dont go up to men with some canned verbiage right? You don't compliment his physical features right? That's awkward and silly - so why do we do that with the ladies? Treat them no different than the guys.

And (genuinely) don't care about the outcome of the interaction.

If you go about in this world being social and talking to men and women alike as if there was no such thing as gender..and each time you do speak with a woman you aren't emotionally vested in the outcome - you are going to come off a lot more relaxed and comfortable in your own skin and much less likely to throw off any creep vibes.

CouldBWow - great stuff. Hope the guys are paying attention. The key is to stop trying so hard and stop caring so much. Just "be". Life usually falls into place at that point.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 81
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:41:49 PM
^^^ I guess but when it comes time to asking for a number....
you can be relaxed and comfortable in your own skin but when you act like you don't care about doing anything more than randomly talking to someone chances are you will forget to close the deal anyway! I mean if you are a guy you don't go up to other men and just start talking unless you really need a new friend. And women arent always easy to get to without being obvious you want them.
I'm not talking about in class,or work, or a party but just random women on the street or mall or club. She sees you walk over to her she already knows your motives
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 82
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How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:58:49 PM

^^^^^^ somewhat true
guy online- Hey how are you today? My name is GJ!
girl online does NOT respond at all

guy offline- Hey how are you today? My name is GJ!
girl offline- hi


I see no functional difference between online and offline. If I approach/talk to a woman online or offline, I start a conversation with them almost 100% of the time either way.

I think the only difference is that guys "miss" online cues just like some other guys miss social cues offline. There are times when you don't approach a woman (ie. she's talking to someone else, and you interrupt the conversation), and there are some women you don't message online (obvious fakes, non active profiles, etc.).

Guys just mass email without reading profiles, etc. or email people that clearly would not be interested in them (black men emailing racist women, old guys emailing women 20 years younger, etc.) that would not work offline either (I don't count fake "hi's" and conversation enders as "responses").
 CouldBWow
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 83
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/6/2013 4:35:46 PM

: ^^^ I guess but when it comes time to asking for a number....
you can be relaxed and comfortable in your own skin but when you act like you don't care about doing anything more than randomly talking to someone chances are you will forget to close the deal anyway! I mean if you are a guy you don't go up to other men and just start talking unless you really need a new friend. And women arent always easy to get to without being obvious you want them.
I'm not talking about in class,or work, or a party but just random women on the street or mall or club. She sees you walk over to her she already knows your motives


I wont ask for a girl's number unless I am genuinely interested in her and sense the feeling is mutual. 99% of my interactions I have no intention or expectation of speaking to that person ever again, no desire to close the deal because I talk to EVERYONE, not just the hotties. Just being social and enjoying myself. Believe me, women notice...if you going around only trying to chat up the hotties - they notice. But they see you being cool to everyone, your 'social proof' goes through the roof

And yes, many women will assume you are going to hit on them and throw up a shield at 1st. Thats why I dont bother 'hitting on them'. I will chat a bit - end the conversation and off I go on my merry way to talk to someone else. They seem surprised that what was expected did not happen. I might circle back to her, I might not. But I tell ya what - they sure seem a bit more friendly and receptive each time you do circle back.

Once I do feel like I actually might like this person enough...and think it might be mutual, I might ask for her number. It very rarely happens where I think I sense a mutual appeal and attraction. In 11 months, I have only asked 1 girl for her number. And like you mentioned earlier in this thread - at least you have an idea someone on a dating site is single. In this case, the girl I asked was not. But it wasnt weird or awkward by that point since I had spoken with her a few times over the course of the evening and I know she appreciated the gesture since I was rewarded with a blush.

I think its pointless to 'hit' on someone before you even know if you like talking to them. But thats just me.

And yeah, I generally dont approach random women in the grocery store or gas station. I pretty much keep that only to social situations like concerts clubs or parties. Maybe I can keep 'bumping' into her on each isle "you again? are you following me?" but...most people seem to want to be left alone when running errands, etc.


My problem so far that I have been single is limited social opportunities because I got my kids 50% of the time, and just not bumping into the right girl yet.

It will happen though...eventually. In the meantime, I am not sweating it and experimenting with this online thing which is a totally different animal and dont know what to make of it! lol
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 84
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/6/2013 6:05:36 PM

not really, some women make more then guys..


Very true. However, out here in SoCal, that doesn;t matter, as a guy you must make ALOT of money apparently, in order to get the girl.



it goes both ways, a man who wants an attractive female should keep in shape themselves. what's wrong with that?


Was being facetious, but you're right.



Don't you think you're sounding a little psycho here?


Not sure, am I? I'm simply saying that apparently to get the girl, one must be a real ***hole, because most women don't want "nice guys" then want ***holes. But will go off on tangents about how they don't want to date losers, and ***holes, etc, yet seem to only be attracted to those types of men, despite claiming otherwise.


beating women up? Where did you learn to act this way? I'm sure your mom wouldn't like being beaten up!


Please point out where I said:

1) I "beat people up"

2) I condone that type of behavior?

I've said neither. HOWEVER, there ARE women who date abusive men, and men who hit them, and seemingly try to come up with every excuse imagineable for them doing so. This goes back to the "I dont want losers/***holes blah blah blah", nonsense they keep spewing. Apparently, women get off on it, or they would'nt keep doing it, right? Of course. Nice to see you're not one of those women.




Nah, i dont want to date a loser #3. the only type of women #3 will get are low self esteem. Women who like drugs, over weight, ugly looking..


You're in the minority then, as a number of women love to date these types of men, despite claiming they don't(which is code word for :I like these types of men, hope you're a douchebag too, or else I won't date you).



my ex use to live with me. he had no car, no house, no career. basically he was a dead beat and i took care of him for more then a year.


And who's fault is that? YOURS.





I don't believe in pre-nup. basically you're setting yourself up for a divorce.


No, you're setting yourself up for protecting you and your stuff from a vindictive woman. if you truely love someone, why put a price on it, and not sign one? That tells a man you'll most likely try to take his shit if it doesn;t work out.



goodboy, i guess you were trained well enough to be a dog.


Think that stuff doesn;t happen today? you're insane if you don't. Happens all the time, daily in fact for so many men and women.




i think you have a lot of issues dating women.


Why do you say this, because I'm keen to their game? No, I have no problems dating a woman who's equal, and treats the relationship as EQUAL. Sadly, most women don't. So, I have "issues" because I'm trying to find an honest, equal woman to share things with?


You must prefer the ghetto baby mama type.


Not at all...infact, those are mostly the women I see doing stuff like this to men, and the really hot ones too.


Men talk to their so call "home boys" all the time about their relationship.


You're right, however, most dont base their opinions on what their stupid friends think, and they really don;t give a shit about the girl their friend's dating, unless they see her doing something she shouldn;t be doing. BIG DIFFERENCE between the two. Most women need their ****ing friends approval to date such and such a guy, even if the guy's a good/nice guy.



ah I meet my dates half way and let them TALK about themselves....Mostly letting them dictate the whole conversation. Sometimes i don't even order a meal or drink. I just want to talk to them and get to know him. They shouldn't expect anything from us women just because you want to buy us a drink or a meal.


Again, please point out where i said anything that we did? I certainly didn't say that, and the only thing I "expect" between us on a first date, is you give me respect, just like I give you respect. I want NOTHING from you for buying you a coffee, 'cept maybe a second date if things go well, if not, no harm no foul. You are right that men shouldn't expect sex from a woman on a first date, despite spending $$$ on them.




single moms need love too, as much as Single dads. too many women haters



You're right, they do...just not MY love...not paying to be someone's else's #2, #3, etc, and certainly NOT paying for someone else's kids.
 Angie2452
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 85
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History
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/7/2013 7:49:50 PM
hi I usually ask are you single? They usually say no but then if answer was a yes. I ask if they would go out with me? Before this you could find out what they like to do? Im really not doing very well as Im handicapped and the guy I live with treats me like crap. I pay all the bills. Andrea
 auntyemm
Joined: 12/22/2012
Msg: 86
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 2/9/2013 8:24:45 AM
If the gun and ski mask don,t work,try a hockey mask and a knife
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 87
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:01:50 AM
Funny thing!! My boss who i might add has been very successful in life suggested that i should go to my local shopping centre and try my luck???

He said thats how he met his wife of 35 yrs.

Maybe in his time!!!!

These days unless you are Brad Pitt or George Clooney or something i would never go up to a stranger and ask them out.
It would be, apart from embarrassing, very soul destroying to say the least.
 ActualizedExplorer
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 88
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How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:36:19 AM

These days unless you are Brad Pitt or George Clooney or something i would never go up to a stranger and ask them out.

Hahaha, very true.

Trying to look your best, then feeling like your best. Then give it a shot. It's the best shot you'll ever get.

If you're just trying to meet randoms on the street, then physical attractiveness trumps money or intellect.
If you're capitalizing on the other ones... you better find instances where they are called into play, rather than just looks.
 Cecilly
Joined: 2/28/2013
Msg: 89
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 3:39:03 AM
Treat her like a person, aside from the fact that she's a woman.

You have one of the nicest profiles I've ever seen. If I were a little younger and looking for a relationship, you'd definitely be someone I'd want to meet. Best of luck!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 90
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 5:01:40 AM

^^^ I guess but when it comes time to asking for a number....

If you're good at determining interest asking for a number won't be a problem.

you can be relaxed and comfortable in your own skin but when you act like you don't care about doing anything more than randomly talking to someone chances are you will forget to close the deal anyway!

I said you shouldn't care - not act like you don't care. Big difference.

I mean if you are a guy you don't go up to other men and just start talking unless you really need a new friend.

That's agenda...one of the main things that puts most women off. Perhaps you should go up to people and start talking - regardless of who they are with no concern for where it all goes. Once you do it enough, you'll be better at it and people will be less suspicious of it.

And women arent always easy to get to without being obvious you want them.

How so?

I'm not talking about in class,or work, or a party but just random women on the street or mall or club. She sees you walk over to her she already knows your motives

Change it up. Don't have motives. Don't care what the outcome is. Just be outgoing and interested in people - women are part of the group, "people". In that case it doesn't really matter what she thinks, right?
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 91
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 6:04:35 AM

These days unless you are Brad Pitt or George Clooney or something i would never go up to a stranger and ask them out.
It would be, apart from embarrassing, very soul destroying to say the least.


Don't go right to asking them out. Start with trying to get a conversation going first.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 92
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 6:55:22 AM

These days unless you are Brad Pitt or George Clooney or something i would never go up to a stranger and ask them out.


This days?

Or something?

I think a lot of women go for "something". YOu see it all the time. "Something" is every day man. And every day man gets to talk to the ladies, laugh with them, ask them out. So really what is "Something"?

It's called confidence.

Try it out sometimes. It works.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 93
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:22:03 AM
"It's called confidence.

Try it out sometimes. It works."

CONFIDENCE
Available at fine stores everywhere
In bottles or cans
Get some Today!
 beneboo
Joined: 6/8/2012
Msg: 94
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 6:57:18 PM

You have issues ;)


Definitely. You either have 'it' for you don't.

If you have to ask a bunch of strangers such a question, you don't have it. Probably never will.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 95
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History
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:28:00 PM
To lightningman1,

If you figure this one out, let me know, so we'll both know. Women in the real world treat me like the invisible man. I think I could be on fire, and no woman would notice. It would most likely be a man to pick up the fire extinguisher. Even ugly guys get more attention because they are ..... well... so ugly. Women have to take a second look. Of course the good looking ones get attention as well, but it seems women have ZERO interest in the "guy-next-door" type like myself, and most likely like you.

Anyway, best of luck to you.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 96
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How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:43:56 PM
Looks isn't the only factor, because mannerisms, body language, attitude, etc are just as important If you are like plain toast and have no personality of course a woman will no have interest in such a man.

Talk to women and have fun doing it. Treat them like a human being and you will be shocked the world that will open up to you. If you are not having fun starting conversations with complete strangers, or learning more then is the unexamined life worth living? ;)
 Thomas_Andronicus
Joined: 6/17/2012
Msg: 97
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:45:31 PM
Just look around. It begins with eye contact.
 juliettes7
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 98
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 9:31:40 PM
The problem is men hover and hope to be noticed, afraid to say anything, seemingly waiting. Women don't read minds and aren't presumptuous.
Simply talk to her. Don't ask her out, just converse. If there is a progression in conversation , at the end you can ask to continue chatting another time over coffee.
If men wait for women to take initiative, it is seen as effeminate/scared and women do not like taking the masculine role, nor do they like men who are afraid of them, or afraid generally.
You don't need to be a knuckle dragger but "comfortable in own skin".
I don't advocate traditional relationships but in terms of who initiates first, generally a man is seen favorably when he does vs a woman. He may be rejected sometimes but eventually will succeed.
Men who want women to take the lead are not seen as bf material but as pain avoidance wounded sensitive types who are defensive. This looks like a project vs a partner.
Generally, in conversation don't be self deprecating -only supermodels or billionaires can do that, the rest of humanity just down grade themselves with self conscious behavior.
In short, you have to find yourself attractive and desirable with a lot to offer or why date?
If you feel uh, I'm just ok... you will impart that and no one wants "average". They want someone unique.
Just wait until you get there, then date actively vs passively "waiting to be noticed", which never works.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 99
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How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/7/2013 9:38:05 PM
I try to talk with women, but I still get ignored many times. The few that I have actually successfully started a conversation with, always end up already having a boyfriend. Rejection and I are old, old friends. I don't even think about it anymore, because I've become so used to it, I am immune to it now. But either way, it makes no difference.
 lightningman1
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 100
How do you get a womans attention in the real world
Posted: 3/8/2013 3:23:59 AM
[Rejection and I are old, old friends].

Yes i know what you mean and true i am getting to the stage where i am also immuned to it.

But its like being in the Ring as a Boxer... After getting beat up time and time again without a win after a while it really starts to hurt!!!

Material wise i have little to offer but i know i am a good person and could make someone happy. but i am afraid wealth or little of it seems to take preference and i am starting think thats the problem....
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