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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > 30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?      Home login  
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 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 51
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Oh O.o, all I know is that it takes a nosedive after 35 from what I heard, begins slowly declining around mid 20's.
 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 52
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:37:09 PM
Really?, btw I don't think 30 is pushing/close to 35 :0
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 53
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30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/12/2013 3:48:12 PM
THeres alot of us in our 30s who have never married w no kids.I would never settle or compromise my values if I was you.
 CaptainAlbator
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 54
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30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/14/2013 8:42:24 PM
"Loosen up one's standards"? More like re-evaluate what you find attractive.
 JenSnider
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 55
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/14/2013 9:59:53 PM
I think that as we get older our priorities change, but that doesn't mean you loosen up your standards in any way. My standards now are actually higher than they were when I was 20, because back then all I wanted was to be in a relationship. Now I want to be in a relationship, but I want it to be with the right person.
 mainelythere
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 56
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2013 9:02:39 AM
depends on what you define as standards.

Some things are physical like having kids or 20 cats or being handicapped. No matter what anyone says those sort of things can affect quality of life.

Looks on the other hand, you really do have to reevaluate your standards because you are getting older and less attractive. And you justcant get a taum channing like you once might have.
 liftnw8z2
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 57
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2013 12:33:30 PM
I'm of the opinion that it's better to be single and happy in your life than be miserable with someone you don't really truly WANT to be with, but settled for. So, whatever the standard you hold is, you should maintain it - because you won't truly be happy otherwise.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 58
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2013 12:37:50 PM

(liftnw8z2) So, whatever the standard you hold is, you should maintain it - because you won't truly be happy otherwise.


Bull-roar. If the standard is getting you what you want, then keep it. If the standard is not getting what you want, time to re-visit it, and decide if it's worth keeping.
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 59
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2013 2:12:10 PM

If the standard is getting you what you want, then keep it. If the standard is not getting what you want, time to re-visit it, and decide if it's worth keeping.


^^^ This has sort of been my own sentiments. .. Yes, there are ppl my age range who don't have kids and have never been married. .. I do meet these once in a while. But definitely fewer than when I was in my 20's .. And I have come to the conclusion that it is probably more or less the dynamics of the location that I am in. .... When I look at bigger cities, there seems to be an abundance of ppl my age range who do not have kids and are more career-focused. ... Perhaps moving might not be a bad idea? :P
 TheArtist1979
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 60
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2013 2:28:09 PM
I'm 33 & I never been married or have any kids. I would date a woman if she had 1 kid but 2 kids would be too much for me.
 6foot7inches
Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 61
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2013 3:39:18 PM
I'm 33 as well, no kids and never been married. I have not lowered my standards, but instead I have just added a few more perks I guess.
 liftnw8z2
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 62
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/16/2013 6:42:10 PM

Bull-roar. If the standard is getting you what you want, then keep it. If the standard is not getting what you want, time to re-visit it, and decide if it's worth keeping.


I'm going to respectfully disagree. I've watched a lot of my friends, men and women both, "revisit their standards" because they're "not getting what they want" and they're miserable. Heck, I've even done it when I married a woman in 2003 that I'd not give two thoughts to in 2013 (we eventually divorced in 2006). It fails more than it works.

I've gotten to the point in life where I know what I want and am successful because I refuse to settle for something less than what I perceive to be the best for me. And I'm cool with flying solo til my days are done if it means I've not found the woman who meshes with that vision.
 JenSnider
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 63
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/17/2013 9:15:14 AM
^There are plenty of women out there who are over 30 who don't have children. Whether you view them as "4s" or "10s" is up to you. Of course, if you want to increase your chances of meeting "10s" who don't have children, then by all means, troll your local high school for those 18 year olds.
 Latin0dawg2012
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 64
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/17/2013 6:17:58 PM
I don't personal standards should change, you are who you are, believe what you believe and have your own habits. If your not ready for children, your date should understand that before anything goes further. If you believe in "marriage is forever" but your date has been divorced X amount of times, don't think you'll change him!

Women should have standards whether men respect them or not. Sure after yr 30, you may get a little picky because the choices will start to narrow down after time. You may have been careful up until now while others have been making mistakes through out their lives.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 65
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/19/2013 10:17:55 AM

(liftnw8z2) I'm going to respectfully disagree. I've watched a lot of my friends, men and women both, "revisit their standards" because they're "not getting what they want" and they're miserable. Heck, I've even done it when I married a woman in 2003 that I'd not give two thoughts to in 2013 (we eventually divorced in 2006). It fails more than it works.


Oh, I forgot to mention: an ACCURATE self-assessment needs to be part of "revisiting your standards".

You even mention it yourself:


I've gotten to the point in life where I know what I want and am successful ...


If you didn't know what you wanted, all the standards in the world wouldn't help you in being successful. You can have all the gas in the world: if you don't know where you're going, it won't help.
 jermanicus
Joined: 2/16/2013
Msg: 66
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/20/2013 3:57:17 PM
I will never settle for less than I think I deserve.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 67
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/20/2013 5:14:45 PM
Is 30+ the age where you should start compromising your standards?

If your "standards" are too high, then yes, regardless of what age you're at. The older you get, the more often guys who have kids or have been divorced will go up.

Kids would be the issue, not a divorce. People w/o kids but a divorce is going to bring less "weight" than people unmarried w/ kids who broke up.

In the end, if kids aren't a factor, once you're of a certain age, who cares if they were married in their 20s? So what if they married their high school sweetheart at age 20 and at 25 got a divorce, and now they're 32, no kids? Is that worse than someone who was in a 7 year relationship with someone they lived with?

I will never settle for less than I think I deserve.

That may not be wise advice to follow, though. What you THINK you deserve, you very well may not deserve. And also "deserving" may not be part of it, either.
 hey_yall_watch_this
Joined: 2/15/2013
Msg: 68
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/21/2013 7:38:13 AM
The more standards you have, the fewer choices you have. Also, the older you get, the fewer choices you have. If you feel it more important to meet more people than to adhere to those standards, then it's time to re-evaluate your standards. On the other hand, if those standards are more important keep holding on to them.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 69
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/21/2013 9:15:53 AM
I think the older you get, the higher standards you should have. When you get older, you don't have as much time left to waste on dead end relationships.

When you are young, it's a good time to experiment.
 jermanicus
Joined: 2/16/2013
Msg: 70
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/21/2013 9:47:30 AM
I deserve a woman that will accept me the way I am and if she doesn't then I don't want her!
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 71
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/21/2013 5:58:55 PM
helpme: some very good points there and i agree. ive also noticed that many of the people raising their standards are the very same ones getting older, fatter, and has kids. talk about unrealistic.
 I__Like
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 72
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30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/22/2013 12:55:25 PM
I will never give the advice "You have all your life". You do, IF you want to spend the rest picking up someone else's baggage.


+1 to this
 awesomeo4000
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 73
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/23/2013 2:35:16 PM
Here's how I see it.

Take your current "high" standards. Do you attract people that meet those standards? If yes, obviously no need to lower them. If not, are you willing to pay the price in order to attract those people? If yes, pay the price and don't lower your standards. If not, lower them. It's that simple.

Deciding whether you're willing to pay the price or not is the tough part. That's where I'm currently stuck at.
 mainelythere
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 74
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/24/2013 10:53:35 AM
it kills me when i read people talking about how they deserve good things.

most habitually single people are flawed, sometimes deeply.
 jermanicus
Joined: 2/16/2013
Msg: 75
30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards?
Posted: 2/25/2013 9:32:13 AM
being alone is better than being in a bad relationship
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