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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 20
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Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure WomenPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

If you're ugly, I don't care if you're a billionaire

financially secure my butt


Smart guy !!!!!! If the Op claims that she goes to charity events , ect.ect. She has a vacation house ,residential house with a swimming pool and a tennis court, she'd be busy mingling with single men with the same bracket like her .

I wonder where she heard about this free online dating site PlentyOfFish for the poor and middle class people??
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 21
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Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 1/31/2013 7:10:25 AM
A normal guy won't touch a woman's handbag, because it is not apropriate and they don't know or care if your handbag brand is Couch,or Isaac Mizrahi or it is a vinyl from Walmart, they don't know the difference and the prices.

OP, your handbag would be save with me.
I wouldn't know the difference between those brands Vannili mentioned.

What are your dining tastes? What do you do for entertainment? Where would you go and what hotel/resort would you stay at? If he can't afford his share he might feel indebted to you.

Yes, I think that might be a problem?
I wouldn't feel intimidated by this, but we just simply wouldn't be compatible.


Do you let it known that you have money? You might want to tone down your conversations about your vacation home and anything that may indicate that your well off until you get to know him a little more....


Absolutely not. I can't hide what I drive or where I live for long. We own a very large house with a pool, tennis court , hesitating if I have to ask anyone over. One guy dissected my hand bag saying I was too rich for his blood. I am not about status but it would be a lie to dress down.

What are the do's and dont's for paying nowadays? I thought Men wanted the Woman to pick up the check once in awhile?

OK, so if you really don't talk about your vacation home, and how rich you are, I guess those guys just insecure.
If you are OK to eat at Denny's, you would go bowling and similar low key type of date, than I don't know what to say.
Yes, we..errrr..I would like it if she pick ups the check once in awhile.
 caballerosincero
Joined: 9/28/2012
Msg: 22
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 1/31/2013 7:57:35 AM
There's a difference between "financially secure" and "pretentious."

Think about it like this, using examples of 2 rappers, both probably millionaires, who were featured on MTV Cribs a good while ago. I don't know if they still live in these places.

1 - Master P - has a gold ceiling in his bedroom, and diamond chandeliers.

2 - Redman - lives in a normal looking house, no different than one a non-millionaire would live in. Pretty sure his screen door was broken too.


Both are (were?) very financially stable, but Redman lives a style that makes him seem much more approachable by normal people.

I know many people that are financially secure, and live in normal homes and drive normal cars, like Hyundai, Toyota, Ford, etc, and not Lexus, or Mercedes.

It's not a matter of being intimdated by you being financially secure - it's a matter of not wanting to feel out of place based on your lifestyle.
 BrookeAda
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 23
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 1/31/2013 8:18:52 AM
Smart guy !!!!!! If the Op claims that she goes to charity events , ect.ect. She has a vacation house ,residential house with a swimming pool and a tennis court, she'd be busy mingling with single men with the same bracket like her .

I wonder where she heard about this free online dating site PlentyOfFish for the poor and middle class people??


Not all women are after a wallet. The Single Gentlemen I know in my circle are notorious players. They all want a young size 2 arm decoration. My apologies if there is an income restriction for POF participation. I was married for 30 yrs. Dating is bewildering to me.
 BrookeAda
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 24
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 1/31/2013 8:24:08 AM

There's a difference between "financially secure" and "pretentious."
Think about it like this, using examples of 2 rappers, both probably millionaires, who were featured on MTV Cribs a good while ago. I don't know if they still live in these places.
1 - Master P - has a gold ceiling in his bedroom, and diamond chandeliers.
2 - Redman - lives in a normal looking house, no different than one a non-millionaire would live in. Pretty sure his screen door was broken too.
Both are (were?) very financially stable, but Redman lives a style that makes him seem much more approachable by normal people.
I know many people that are financially secure, and live in normal homes and drive normal cars, like Hyundai, Toyota, Ford, etc, and not Lexus, or Mercedes.
It's not a matter of being intimdated by you being financially secure - it's a matter of not wanting to feel out of place based on your lifestyle.
My Husband was all about appearances. The House is on the market. I don't need it. Much appreciate your insight.

Is there a way to quote without copying and pasting manually putting in the quotes? Multi Quote option?
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 25
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Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 1/31/2013 9:16:45 AM

My apologies if there is an income restriction for POF participation.

LOL..Now that shows a great sense of humor..LOL
I don't think here is a Multi Quote option.
What I do is copy, go to edit post, than a paste the quote.
This way multiple quote shows up. You have 15 minutes to edit your post.
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 26
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 1/31/2013 9:37:04 AM
I agree with what a lot of other posters stated:

Either find a man that matches your own socio-economic caliber to date.

OR

Don't go "flaunting your wealth" so to speak when you are first dating a guy.


Generally speaking, if a guy finds you attractive inside and out, this will be the least of things that make him turn a run.

and like someone else said, most guys I know can't tell a walmart handbag from a neiman marcus handbag .... .. the only guys I have met who do know the difference are the ones who are gay (not joking here -- but there may be a few exceptions out there! )




It's not a matter of being intimdated by you being financially secure - it's a matter of not wanting to feel out of place based on your lifestyle.


+ 1 .... If a woman thrives in a lifestyle of luxury and cannot relate to some of the things a guy of a different socio-economic class can only afford to do, then yes, this may be a turn off. .. Even a chick who is not rich but only wants/buys expensive stuff and do things that are costly will turn a guy off.




 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 27
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 1/31/2013 4:10:29 PM
Show me a man who isn't intimidated by a woman with money, and I'll show you a guy who plans to live off her money and not work. Well, not necessarily, but be careful what you wish for.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 28
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 2/1/2013 5:07:18 AM
can i have your phone number? ur a needle in a haystack.
 zSANDMANz
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 29
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 2/1/2013 7:46:50 AM
I’m the Sandman, long time listener, first time caller.

I have had the experience of dating a Woman well out of my social class. To answer the original question, yes, it’s terribly intimidating. It forces a Man to live to a standard he’s not accustomed to, or comfortable with. The Woman I dated had a $10,000 vase on a $30,000 table, those two items were worth more than I made in a year, what could I have of possibly offered her.

You made a comment earlier “Dressing down would be lying”…exactly. I couldn’t purchase a $200 necklace from the local jewelry store for you, you would throw it in the trash. A Man making $50,000 could not live within his means and date someone making $500,000. What could he possibly offer you that you can not provide for yourself…or don’t already have. A man likes to feel needed, like he can provide at least something for you, well, a good Man anyway. You take that away, he feels useless, unneeded, not good enough for you, thus, completely insecure.

“Men in my circle want the size 2 arm decoration”…so do the poor Men ;-)

You can’t date within your circle and guys outside of it are intimated. Reminds me of a Beatles song…”Can’t buy me love” I think the only sound advice I could provide would be don’t limit yourself to one dating site, or just to Michigan, expand your search as far and as wide as possible. Your Man is out there, you’ll find him. Or simply play the field and don’t look for a commitment. Also, if you don’t show at least one picture with your vague profile, you’ll make things 100 times harder on yourself and you may never find him…some Men believe in love at first sight, and yours might. I wish you the best...
 MrShoesnchocolate
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 30
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 2/1/2013 7:53:34 AM
Yes, in fact I have recurring nightmares about them !

They're 100 feet tall and terrorize Japanese people !

But seriously, as long as she isn't arrogant about it - BRING IT ON !
 FrzLawyer
Joined: 8/14/2011
Msg: 31
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 2/3/2013 12:37:14 PM
You might need to date either men who just don't care, or who are from a similar enough background to not be intimidated.

And, frankly, odds are it will always be a bit of a stumbling block, but, I think, its something which can be worked around if you don't mention it.

I'm a bit surprised you haven't dealt with this earlier - of course, women might not have the same drive to conceal money from other women, as men do from other men - but its the same as mumbling your way through when someone asks where you shoes came from, or watch, shirt, etc.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 32
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Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 2/4/2013 7:46:29 AM

OP, your handbag would be save with me.
I wouldn't know the difference between those brands Vannili mentioned.


The last time I checked the prices of Couch handbag it ranges to $ 4000.00 to $2000.500 plus tax,the lowest price is 295.00 plus tax.
Isaac Misrahi, Nieman Marcos are ranging in to these prices too.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 33
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 4/17/2014 6:59:03 PM
I don't think it is intimidation....
It could be what is discussed in
http://www.afr.com/p/national/arts_saleroom/few_attractions_for_older_divorced_ZrGQLmBxUWOZHMfd4LebSN


For those who do not wish to read the link here is an excerpt:

"It should be easy. How often do we read that there’s a glut of single older women, a dearth of appealing unattached men?

But Harry is wilting under women’s scrutiny. “Many women I meet regard me as a hopeless failure because I can no longer afford holidays in Europe every year and don’t own a car or a house in the eastern suburbs.

“You see the judgment in their eyes, in their body language when they discover you are a renter. There’s little signposts that they are summing you up and finding you wanting. It’s as if you come from a totally different social milieu.”

He finds the contempt unbearable and generally prefers to be on his own. That’s the sad surprise awaiting all those intrepid older women who’ve moved on from their marriages and set forth into the tough world of online dating. They keep meeting men like Harry.

Harry should be in a buyer’s market. There are many more older single women than men in Australia and 2006 census figures show 68,000 more single women than men in their 50s. Only 13 per cent of these men have degrees, less than half the number of tertiary-educated women.

But the trouble with men like Harry – and it turns out there are many like him – is that they simply can’t meet women’s reserve price.

For contrary to common assumptions, older divorced women are on average more financially secure than older divorced men. Many of these women are professionals earning a good income and with their own homes. They prefer a man who can match their assets, but there simply aren’t enough to go around.

“All the men are broke!” they moan, as they nervously protect their nest eggs. "
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 34
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Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 4/18/2014 1:02:38 PM
Christ I hope not. We get far more posts on here about the broke ass single moms trying to take advantage of men.
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 35
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Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 4/18/2014 3:23:19 PM

The last time I checked the prices of Couch handbag it ranges to $ 4000.00 to $2000.500 plus tax,the lowest price is 295.00 plus tax.
Isaac Misrahi, Nieman Marcos are ranging in to these prices too.


What about designers like Makita, DeWalt, Ryobi and MasterCraft? I shop for those brands. Some of my friends love Bosch as well.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 36
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 4/25/2014 4:39:23 AM
You can make a very long list of EVERYTHING that a man could be insecure with. If it's not your issue it will be something else.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 37
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Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 4/26/2014 12:20:07 PM
The question: “Are Men Intimidated by Financially Secure Women?”

The answer, as with so many other questions, is “It depends.”

If she expects me to accompany her on vacations to Hawaii and the south of France (paying my own way), yes, there’s a problem.

If she is going to look down her nose at my truck and refuse to be seen riding in anything less than a 7 series BMMER, then yes, there’s a problem.

If she routinely eats at places where the tab runs into 3 digits, and expects me to pay, yes, there’s a problem.

On the other hand, if she’s happy to pile in my truck and ride down to the beach and eat a picnic lunch while watching the waves, or attend an open air concert sitting in lawn chairs on the hillside at Mitchell Pavilion, then there is no problem. None whatsoever.

I have dated women who made / had a great deal more money than I, with no problems whatsoever. It all depends on her wants / needs / expectations. Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows full well that I have never used anyone for money or material gain. Unless you count sex as a “material gain”, and then all bets are off! (smile)
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 38
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 4/26/2014 1:39:53 PM
Intimidated? You kidding?

I've run into men who are more than happy to take advantage of my steady income..these days, with women being so "independent" I think men are far more comfortable being taken care of. I've had guys happily accept monetary support in the form of meals and special favors. I haven't met a man yet, in fact, who doesn't smile with pleasure when he knows I'll take care of something financially, and never gave back in return. I also know quite a few guys who used to work and are at home while their wives work every day.

My mistake for hanging out with anyone for longer than it took to see what was going on.

It's a changed world, with more men being willing to be taken care of, and not feeling they have to work at all. One of my close friends is living completely off his girlfriend, he's in his 50's. He drives her car, lives at her house, she makes dinner, pays for everything. They have a rocky relationship.


Never again will I be with anyone who doesnt at least beleive in a 50/50 deal. I work very very hard and am very generous, but I expect a man to at least have a job and be self sufficient, not see me as a free ride. There are people out there like that, men and women alike.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 39
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 4/26/2014 7:18:13 PM
It does my heart good to see the shoe on the other foot!
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 40
Are Men Intimiated by Financially Secure Women
Posted: 4/26/2014 11:04:25 PM
I know, huh? :D

This same friend, who I dated once in college, also wanted to rekindle things and have an affair with me..so that would mean he would be using her car to drive down to my house to engage in this-now THERE'S a guy who has it all tied up! :P
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