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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.      Home login  
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 johnnyj218
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 212
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh. Page 13 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Maybe guys are over confident in their abilities? Look at all the masters of cunnilingus that have posted in just this thread. Is every one of them all that? Likely not.


I don't think any of these guys (including myself) are claiming to be "all that" and yes, every women will respond differently. Long ago, I personally use to despise the thought of ever putting my mouth down there but a friend with benefits changed all that for me. She taught me not to just think of myself during sex and I did my own research on the workings of the female anatomy. I watched countless videos and had willing partners to let me practice over the years lol.

I do listen and every women is different but I've yet to meet a women that does not like to receive. I'm not conceited by any means but like I already mentioned, when they call you back then you know you're doing something right lol. The guys who are doing it right know what I'm talking about. Just do a little research and NEVER think of yourself first. It's all about her in my book.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 213
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:19:44 PM

shine1274

Maybe guys are over confident in their abilities? Look at all the masters of cunnilingus that have posted in just this thread. Is every one of them all that? Likely not.


LOL you noticed the show boat bragging too huh...yup everybody is a master..
 bovier59
Joined: 6/24/2012
Msg: 214
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Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/15/2013 11:04:46 PM
i believe we talked some on this....you may be the exception group anxious to teach and guide.... its an aquired endeavor and not every man is trying to go there..."man who does that is soft, not a stick man, and a host of other belittling terms. probably more that than the actual not being good at it, and wanting to become good at it.

women don't know how to ask for it, and concede to letting it go, hopeful and yet really expecting that is't not going to happen. i could probably teach you a few things, as you could teach me several too. but that's the key, being mutually engaging, interested, and done with the job demands.... something could happpppp.....eeee

bovier59
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 215
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/16/2013 7:49:09 PM
MSG 253, thumbs up!

For one, people are different and not equally easy to please. I have a hard time getting off on a BJ while some men can come prematurely. Same with women - some take an hour to build up and explode while others come faster than I can take my pants off.

For two, it's the combination of two people. Woman A may come with man X and woman B with man Y, but neither A with Y nor B with X. I don't believe in universal masters of female satisfaction (although I'm sure some will show up after this post). However, anybody can improve by a mile with some pointers.

Top all this off with preferences on texture (shaved, bush, trim) and scent (pinesol-like cleanliness vs. natural), mix in different levels of attractiveness (genitalia can be prettier or uglier, just like faces) and of course the skill and perceptiveness of the man (clueless vs. alert, rushed vs. relaxed, interested vs. necessary-evil-to-get-some-attitude), etc. etc. and it's adding up to a bit of a gamble. Then again, so is intercourse and the guess whether the partner would like anal, BDSM or anything else that floats your boat.

In case it matters, from my male perspective not all experiences of cunnilingus are equally exciting either.
 timberlyterrell
Joined: 3/5/2013
Msg: 216
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Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/17/2013 2:45:13 AM
haha if only i could "like" this! so true!
 Jaco_boy
Joined: 3/7/2013
Msg: 217
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/17/2013 7:02:56 PM
oral sex is definitively an activity that in theory should be shared by both parties, each other telling the other party, what drives them, what not etc... personally, i met some girls that were multi-orgasmic, WOW for me the realisation to be able to make them come over oand over this way was very rewarding. Our body chemistry was perfect then we were just having good dirty fun... on the other end, i met some girls that their taste was really not matched for me and i was not so much into it, then their interest fizzled away... so all in all, you have to have an interest into it, with some matched factors... the rest ? it's part of good sexual communication
 scubas64
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 218
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/18/2013 5:48:09 AM
Because many men do not want to take the time the time or care about pleasing their lover. Sex is all about them! Rule one in lovemaking, always put your partner first. Me, I love to explore a women's body,, find her errogeneous zones and take my time. However, I have somewhat of an oral fetish. I can go to sleep content without my own orgasms knowing I thoroughly satisfied the women. It's a huge boost to ones ego knowing you brought her to multiple orgasms to the point her legs are quivering and she begs you to stop because she can't take it anymore or wants to feel you deep inside her.
 scubas64
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 219
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/18/2013 5:49:28 AM
Because many men do not want to take the time the time or care about pleasing their lover. Sex is all about them! Rule one in lovemaking, always put your partner first. Me, I love to explore a women's body,, find her errogeneous zones and take my time. However, I have somewhat of an oral fetish. I can go to sleep content without my own orgasms knowing I thoroughly satisfied the women. It's a huge boost to ones ego knowing you brought her to multiple orgasms to the point her legs are quivering and she begs you to stop because she can't take it anymore or wants to feel you deep inside her.
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 220
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/18/2013 8:33:52 AM

Rule one in lovemaking, always put your partner first.

I respectfully (but fully) disagree with that statement. If there were any rules to begin with, I'd rather everybody think of himself. What is better? If I do things I THINK she likes and she does things she THINKS I like, we are just guessing, and we may never get or do what we really like. A lady in my bed will always know what I like because I do it. And likewise, I expect her to give me an indication (verbal or nonverbal) what she likes. I don't go down on a woman because she likes it but because I want it. And in doing what I like, I have done things the ladies didn't even know they wanted... I won't go into details because I've been banned before. Twice. lol

OK, maybe it's a bit different because I'm more dominant, but my point is that you should go for what YOU want.
 Needingaladyfriend
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 221
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/19/2013 7:33:25 AM
lol not me I'm really good at it so no problems on my end with it. But I guess some guy's have no clue how to really pleasure a woman in certain way's.
 james568369
Joined: 3/11/2013
Msg: 222
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:27:04 AM
A lot of men treat oral sex as a way of getting what they want. I love giving oral to a woman. Every woman is different. What works on one might not work on another. You have to pay attention to her body movement and breathing. When you are doing what she likes her body will tell you. No matter how tired your fingers or tongue gets don't stop. I found out that if I can orally please a woman I will have the best sex she has to offer.
 ErichWild
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 223
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/26/2013 12:00:51 PM
I think that in some cases guys do not think of it as something they need to know how to do.
now I find that opinion silly, as I love going down and am pretty good.
as for girls my ex had extreme issues with going down and so did not recipricate often, but I still ate her out at least once every time we had sex.

now to be fair I watched an internet video designed to teach you how before our first time.
 lostinalostworld
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 224
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/26/2013 4:00:44 PM
Not enough practice early on. BTW, every woman is built slightly different, duh.
 HAWKEYE1940
Joined: 5/8/2012
Msg: 225
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:40:15 PM
It is not complicated; men who have a problem are not good at communication listening to their mate as to what they like for both. I like slender women. I have a Jamaican woman who, with candle lite looks like a bronze queen after I have taken off her night clothes and oiled her back with a great back rub. Then comes the great time...turning her over and oiling the rest of her body especially the thighs and areas surrounding her vagina. Then start with the tongue very carefully, and work slowly up to her inner parts where the orgasms come. Sucking the clitoris is fantastic if the man LISTENS to what she wants done. The ultimate moment comes after the third orgasm and you are tired until you hear those moans and the words "Eat my ****." the greatest reward of all.
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 226
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/27/2013 10:00:57 AM

If you have to tell people you're "dominant", you aren't... you just think you are....

First of all this is not a BDSM site, in which case you'd be correct (and on 'alt' you actually check a property to that extent, so you do tell)
Secondly, I don't HAVE to tell, I choose to tell. It avoids mismatches.
Thirdly, my point was that I'm by nature not timid about doing what I'm doing. If a man is shy, it might explain why he is not good at it. Perhaps he never asked or is nervous.

If a guy who doesn't know me makes a blanket statement about a comment and concludes that I lied, it bothers me about as much as it bothers a tree when a boar scratches its back on the bark. OK, ladies, you've heard the verdict, I'm not really dominant... Ugh.
 onehappyfellow
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 227
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Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:22:21 AM
Is there anything finer of funner?
 adge747
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 228
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Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/27/2013 1:18:10 PM
Every man I have spoken to about giving a woman oral sex is absolutely brilliant at it and always gives the woman the best organism she has ever had! So you are obviously meeting the wrong men or could the ones I ask be exagerating?
I think that might be a possibility and they have not actually done it so they only think they are good at it! Sometimes we need a little guidance and if you want the job doing properly to your satisfaction surely a little tuition to a novice would be a good idea.
No wonder so many women become lesbians when men are so useless at giving you an orgasm.
 sailor-
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 229
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Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/27/2013 4:00:35 PM
well read most of these arugh replys..nooo body mentioned that the person giving the blowjob..if they are not totaly into doing the deed ....then why bother ...it will be 2nd rate ...that goes for women doing the deed or even men
 Advwench
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 230
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/27/2013 9:13:15 PM
Funny, the guy I'm dating now is the very first man I've been with who's good at it. I've lived my life thinking I didn't care whether or not I received... I didn't dislike it, exactly, but it did nothing for me so I could take or leave it. He's thoroughly changed my mind, though. Too bad it's taken this long for me to realize what I've been missing!
 smpl_love
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 231
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:19:07 PM
Why do some women tend to be bad at it?
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 232
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/28/2013 10:29:52 AM

they might not be all they are cracked up to be.

Sorry if some men lie, exaggerate or disappoint you. In a normal conversation this would not come up, but if I was talking to a woman about sex I could point out things I'm good at and not so good at (based on knowledge and feedback). I can also freely talk about my preferences. If something I say gets dismissed, talking about sex becomes useless, which is why I prefer to get to it rather than just talk. The experience differs with each partner anyway. But doing it puts me in the 'just wants sex' category. What's a man to do who cannot talk nor do?

I'm not going to do anything differently because somebody rolls her eyes... And likewise, I'm not going to lick my eyebrows just to show off. It's for my partner to find out.


BTW, congrats (was it advench?) on finally getting what you've been missing so long.
 Advwench
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 233
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/28/2013 10:53:08 AM


BTW, congrats (was it advench?) on finally getting what you've been missing so long.


Hey, thanks pal! *hi5 :)
 dingbat77
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 234
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Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 3/29/2013 12:53:17 PM
Just seen the thread, my only comment would be if a partner ( especially one I have just met ) started posting details of our sex life on a forum for the world to see, she wouldn't be my partner for long, maybe we are more reserved in the UK ....lol
 natgoat227
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 235
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Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 4/1/2013 9:12:33 AM
'Some' men are Also horrible at relationships , in general!!!
(...see: Bad-Boys)

The ones that are Good at it are the ones who can take Directions...
and Genuinely _Enjoy_ Pleasing The Lady...._First_!!!

Personally...after almost 15 years of Widowhood...SOMEone is In For A Treat!!!

##***
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 236
Why do some men tend to be horrible at oral sex? Ugh.
Posted: 4/1/2013 9:17:55 AM

partners very often lie to save feelings

That can happen, which is why verbal feedback is not as reliable as non-verbal feedback. And you're right, if they lie or fake, they shouldn't be surprised if they get mediocrity...
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