Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 109
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date... Page 5 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

a man who uses money to impress a woman maybe is a bit insecure...


I saw the following line in a WOMAN'S profile today:

"A man with money can only impress a broke female".
 mermaid140
Joined: 8/29/2012
Msg: 110
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 7:32:19 AM
Stubidooo and maleman999 have great advice for you guys. They know how to woo a woman. That's what it all about.

Save the coupons for when you're a couple. Leave them home on the FIRST date.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 111
view profile
History
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 7:40:23 AM
^^Nah, I would much rather take those lovely ladies whom OK with it advice .
They know how they want to be woo-ed. And money is on the bottom of the list.
But thanks.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 112
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 9:50:42 AM
If I went to Canadian Tire to get something and pulled out a wad of Canadian Tire money I've had sitting around at home for ages, I wonder if women would feel it was tacky to do that. (For non-Canadians, it looks like Monopoly money and comes in denominations of 5 cents to 50 cents)
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 113
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 10:52:03 AM
I wouldn't have a problem with it at all. I have quite a bit of Canadian Tire 'money' as well. I just forget to take it with me when I go to the store, so it accumulates.

Re the fellow paying for items with it ... what's the point of getting it or keeping it unless you intend to use it?
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 114
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 12:08:50 PM

Stubidooo and maleman999 have great advice for you guys. They know how to woo a woman. That's what it all about.

Save the coupons for when you're a couple. Leave them home on the FIRST date.


And let me guess, those women are the same ones that would dump me if I lost my job, right?

I'd rather stick to someone that something as stupid as how I pay doesn't impress her.
 jjoenyc73
Joined: 11/9/2012
Msg: 115
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 12:16:19 PM

If one visits NYC and heads down to the Little India section for meals it is easy to find guys handing coupons to drum-up business for their particular restaurant. They hang near the ends of the blocks (on the main avenues) and distribute coupons for 30%-50% off the written bill. Anyone who visits NYC and enjoys a tasty Indian dinner and pays full price is a serious dimbulb! A NYC woman would totally laugh at a hayseed rube that pays re


Partly true,NYC women believe in bargains.However,time is their most valuable commodity. I can say for certain that I met some entrepeneurs who I can only guess are well to do(one had a wi fi company).It means that the place might not be the cheapest simply because of the time essence. I prefer having a drink ,but often its a plutonic like meetingdue to business constraints. The u pside is I have been offered to order what ever I wanted and they putit on their expense account. Money isn't really the issue. Time is!.But most will value someone who is smart with money because like Eric said being good with money is valued here.jennifer Lopez and Bloomberg love eating cheap hotdogs at papaya king so there you have it.
 mermaid140
Joined: 8/29/2012
Msg: 116
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 12:26:28 PM

love eating cheap hotdogs at papaya king so there you have it.


Everyone grabs a hotdog there....
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 117
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 12:29:04 PM

I would still be a little embarrassed to use it on a FIRST day with someone I was trying to impress. There's nothing wrong with trying to impress someone as long as you're not fake about it.


What exactly are you trying to impress them with? Your skill at spending more money than you have to?


There's nothing wrong with trying to impress someone as long as you're not fake about it.



Do I use coupons in general. YES Would I use a coupon if I was already dating someone? Yes Would I use a coupon on a first date? Probably not.


Isn't it being "fake" to present yourself as a "non-coupon" person on the first date, when you really are a coupon person?
 mermaid140
Joined: 8/29/2012
Msg: 118
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 12:34:36 PM

If I went to Canadian Tire to get something and pulled out a wad of Canadian Tire money I've had sitting around at home for ages, I wonder if women would feel it was tacky to do that. (For non-Canadians, it looks like Monopoly money and comes in denominations of 5 cents to 50 cents)


Not tacky but very amusing. I bet the Tire guy would be pissed off though.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 119
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 12:40:06 PM
Using a coupon often cost the owners as well as people tend to not tip appropriately. I want to support my local businesses

That's a really bad way of looking at things. Just because they're local doesn't mean they're broke. Coupons are specials in the form of advertisements, in such a way that you bring it in and they can track how much their marketing is getting noticed. Again, it's just a special.

So if you go into a place and it happens to be 2-for-1 day, should you walk out because that's not fair to their own imposed specials? You feel bad taking a special? WTF? Or to those against coupons (which are specials) -- do you refuse to go places where they're having specials? A first date where they have the popular beers and wine on special, you shouldn't order them? It'd be tacky and/or cheap? :)

Save the coupons for when you're a couple. Leave them home on the FIRST date.

I agree with your advice, due to whether-you-like-it-or-not, for best results, don't on a first or second date. It's sad that there are too many women (and some men) out there stuck in an immature sub-culture. I think the question is -- why is it bad? Does that alone by any means, using even a *50%* off certificate/slip, mean he or she is a cheapskate? I don't believe so. It CAN. But with said women, it will still be at least a mild back-of-the-mind issue.

After all, if he leaves a huge tip that basically makes the coupon/certificate virtually nill, but basically transfers the reduced price to the waiter's pocket -- said women-with-issues, although preferring that method, will still have a raised eyebrow "using a coupon". Heck, he could even end up paying MORE because he had a coupon, said type of woman wouldn't notice it -- it's all about seeing that piece of paper! :)

I think it's just an image-related issue because cheapskates love them, and many weirdo cheapskates collect them. Guilt by association. If you wanted to measure an actual cheapskate -- look at the TIP. And if the tip isn't low (but not high), and you see him rummaging thru things to grab a 5% off mountain dew and that's why he ordered a mountain dew at 8pm -- yes, that indicates he's cheap, sure. But again, he can avoid being seen by the rational mind as possibly being cheap -- it's just a snooty-image-centric thing that no matter what -- throwing down a piece of paper that reduces a price is bad.

Would you feel he's cheap if you two walked into a nice place but lo-and-behold, they have Thursday night dinner specials? Would you feel it's less of a "real date"?

How about if you ended up suggesting a place for a date... You two go there, and waiting for a table he gives the hostess a piece of paper saying someone gave it to him and he doesn't come here and figure he'd trade it in since he's here. The hostess comes back and gives him $20. You two wait for 15 minutes, finally get a table... an hour later after things are going well, the bill at $40 comes, and he pays... and leaves a $16 tip to boot. Would you have a problem with that?

What's so crazy about a piece of paper when it comes to the bill on the table?
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 120
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 12:49:11 PM
Not really, because if I think using a coupon on a first date is a little tacky....then I'm not being fake now am I.


Actually, you are. And duplicitous. Because you also said it is sensible to save money when you can and that you admire people who manage their money well. So then why would it not be sensible to save money on Date 1 as well as Date 2 or 3 or 4? What is this "impression" that you are trying to make on Date 1? That you are not cheap? So it's only possible to be cheap on a first date, and never on any other dates? I have yet to see any coupon that ever had the words "not to be used on first date" printed on it. It's only something that people create in their heads to make one more thing difficult about dating.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 121
view profile
History
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 1:21:47 PM
But wait, aren't you one of the guy's that was posting in another thread that women that think the man should pay for the FIRST date are essentially "whores" and golddiggers?

I have never said that.
Went to my posting history to see if I can dig up something to prove that, but all those post are gone, bt I did found this one.
What I said is in bold letters.

When I do not like him, and I know I will not be seeing him again, I always pay for myself.

Do you let him know that you won't be seeing him? Is it only apply to the first meet/date?
I am asking because I had a lady pick up the check, at the third time I think, AND we went out again .
So paying isn't always means she isn't interested.



a much larger dose of reality. I used to be the "gentleman" who paid for everything and just what did it get me? A woman who took everything. Never again.

Before the name calling begins, and those women posters who really get round up get in here, I feel you JoeBnD.
It's not that she took everything, but she never treated me back, so now I kind if keep my eyes/ears open.
First meet/date it's on a guy, I agree with that. Lady must not pay for anything, never, I don't agree with that.



I have yet to see any coupon that ever had the words "not to be used on first date" printed on it.

LOL..Or "This will not leave a good impression!"..LOL..
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 122
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 1:30:45 PM

I have never said that.

I don't know what/where the thread referenced was, but I can attest with real certainty that you wouldn't say anything like that. Maybe your post was right above or below that of someone who did, but no way was it you.

Also, I absolutely love it when the Great Coupon Debate comes up. I have been enjoying the hell out of this.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 123
view profile
History
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 1:53:39 PM
I did say that.
It was not our FIRST date!
I told you than and telling you know, it wasn't about a contact lenses cleaner, it was about how she expected me to pay for everything, every time.
I remember that post, you kind of took it as it was just a one time thing. It was not.
She NEVER had money on her. So, yeah I do think she was a gold digger.
Never called her, or anyone a whore.

And I was out of coupons.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 124
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 2:25:37 PM
I am well aware that my opinion about first date coupons really doesn't make sense.

I sincerely give you props for saying that. I think off the top of our heads -- or shall I say tastes -- some things can slightly or even strongly turn us off, without the justification as to why making any sense. It's silly. But I guess that's part of learning & experiencing new things, as well as getting other people's insights about things. It helps us have a better understanding of things and kick taste-habits that our moms & dads & friends have passed along to us that's based on a silly "just because" when it boils down to it.

if it were for a place that I really would never go but the man kept insisting we *had* to go there simply because of the coupon, but that's about the only negative I could see in using coupons, first date or otherwise.

Exactly. It's not the concept of having a coupon or gift certificate -- it's how it's applied that can make one seem cheap. Unfortunately some people's elders or social group friends encourage guilt-by-association -- which is a really poor, hasty, and immature way to make assessments in life.

It's only something that people create in their heads to make one more thing difficult about dating.

Or passed along to their friends & younger family thru periods of time. One shouldn't complain about the dating "game" and yet, hold onto silly notions like that. Or if one's mom or dad rolls their eyes about the dating "game", you their single offspring is in, yet they scoff at the idea of a (gasp) special-on-paper to be utilized on any initial dates even though he's paying for the whole thing -- then you can tell them they totally encourage a 'game' in some way.

What exactly are you trying to impress them with? Your skill at spending more money than you have to?

Sort of, yeah. Not only should the guy pay, but he has to pay FULL retail price when he doesn't know her much at all! So taking her out and paying for EVERYTHING isn't enough... even if you logistically are not a cheap person at all by what's shown by a nice good tip to the server. If you use a gift certificate/coupon-special or whatever -- you're doing wrong! :)
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 125
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 3:36:59 PM
Redondobeach Steve- I'm a coupon user, so it wouldn't bother me at all. It would tell me we both like to save money.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 126
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/8/2013 5:41:44 PM

I remember once opening my wallet years ago and getting quite excited, saw a pink bill tucked in there and thought "excellent, have more money there than I thought". Then realizing it was Canadian Tire money...and I'd thought at first it was a $50 bill.

Haha! Think that's happend to all us Canuckians...pink ones are $50's for those of you who don't have colored money:)

I have a coupon book in my car....I always forget to use it....pysses me off!!
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 127
view profile
History
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/9/2013 7:21:08 AM

Then I owe you an apology because I thought you were one of "them"....so I'm sorry. : )

Thank you very much.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 129
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/9/2013 8:55:24 AM
This shouldn't be a big deal. If we go dutch, she would also pay less. If I paid for the entire date, then she is obviously not paying for anything. Regardless of what method of payment I used. If a woman thinks I'm "cheap" and isn't interested in another date simply because I used a coupon or gift certificate, so be it. I wouldn't want to date a woman with this attitude anyways.
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 130
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/9/2013 4:05:33 PM


What exactly are you trying to impress them with? Your skill at spending more money than you have to?


We ALL have that one uncle. You know the one, he's always bragging about what he bought and how expensive it was... How impressed are you by what he says? Are you thinking he's the coolest guy in the world, or are you wishing he would stop talking, or stop hitting on your friend that's more than half is age, or your cousin...

For everyone saying you need to not use the coupon for your first impression... Why? Just like how you're not impressed by what your uncle spent, do you really expect her to be impressed by what you spent?

One time I had a first date at this diner (probably the best food you'll ever eat), and right in front of her, I pulled out my spoon and cut a coupon for go-carts off the placemat (seriously with a spoon, those things are like razors at the right angle) and told her "we're going here after dinner". She didn't care about the coupon, she didn't mention a single word about how I was already planning on using one during our first night out, and there were other dates after it.... You know what she cared about, and it went on for a few dates where she'd keep bringing it up? "How did you cut that out with a spoon?"

Really go read through this thread. Most of the people against coupons are guys, and most of the ones saying it's OK are girls. If the girls don't care whether or not you use a coupon, who do you honestly think is impressed that you paid the full price for dinner, just like what literally everyone else without a coupon did.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 131
view profile
History
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/9/2013 9:50:11 PM
Let me see,

I drive a 12 year old, paid for, truck.
Paid the house off, that took seven years; paid for the renovation with cash.
Owe no one nothin'.
Look for value not glitz.

Yeah, If'n I was to try and impress a lady on a first date I would probably look for something I (we) could afford without being ostentatious. I might even vacuum out the truck ( and wash during the summer).

I'm not going to be worrying about coupons; but, I might use one just to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Yeah, if a lady got her nose bent out of shape over a coupon - that sounds like a good problem to avoid; and a cheap way to do so - a two-fer!

TK
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 132
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/12/2013 2:10:51 AM
Personally, no matter what condition I am in, when I pay for the meal, I would not use a coupon to cut corners. In general, I don't use groupons or coupons when dining out.

As far as my date (on a first date) is concerned, I would not like to control what he does with his money; and how he budgets is money at this juncture is none of my business. On the other hand, I would find it quite impolite, as impracical as it may seem, as he should enjoy his time with me, rather than worry if he has the money or not to pay for the date. Exceptions can be made and I would offer a generous gratuity, if things were that tight for him, but he wanted very much to spend time with me.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 133
view profile
History
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/12/2013 3:20:40 AM

Well you know.....when I'm wrong, I own it! Lol. I was also wrong about the whole thread getting deleted. I just ran across it again and looking back.....the whole thread just seems kind of silly now.

All of those who should pay, how he should pay type of thread are silly!
There will never be a correct answer, as it depends on the person.
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 134
If your date used a 50% off coupon on your first date...
Posted: 2/12/2013 8:34:52 AM

On the other hand, I would find it quite impolite, as impracical as it may seem, as he should enjoy his time with me, rather than worry if he has the money or not to pay for the date.


I can't tell, but I really hope you're not saying that he should be worried about spending time with you and not saving money, while you're worried about how he pays and not enjoying the time with him. Because, that would be pretty messed up. You'd be saying that spending time with you is more important than saving money, but to you spending more money is more important than spending time with him.

So I'm really hoping I read that wrong... Because I don't want to believe that your date spending more money when he has a coupon is more important to you than being with him. Except you also see using a coupon as cutting corners.... How is that cutting corners? I'm not sure you understand what that means.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >