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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be consider      Home login  
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 RJHistoryGirl
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 401
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Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?Page 17 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
Not really... just pointing out that having dreams doesn't equate to living in La-la land, that's all.

No, reread my previous posts. Fact is, that although I DO background checks, it's much further down the line... so I do very few of them... maybe a handful of people over the years have made it far enough for me to do one, with only one recently... those lovely little red flags and all that... on the dating side anyway... business is a different matter... those are much more frequent and common... and then friends and family is yet another matter... that one is somewhere in between.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 402
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:19:11 AM
(RJHistoryGirl) Not really... just pointing out that having dreams doesn't equate to living in La-la land, that's all.


Correct, they don't equate. They do, however, often overlap; and, it sounds like it in your case.

Face it: it's a power play, plain and simple. Because it's "legal", it's something that a person like you would enjoy doing to a man, because it gives you the upper hand with him, and allows you to do it LEGALLY.

I'm about done with this topic. I have no interest in convincing sneaky, underhanded weasels that they *ARE* sneaky underhanded weasels. I simply will not date anyone who thinks that prying into another's business is justified on the grounds that "Well, we're all damaged anyway, and if you have nothing to hide..." Just do your thing, but don't expect me to be all nicey-nice if you do it to me...
 MuscularVampire
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 403
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:20:40 AM
If someone ever did that to me, that would really anger me to no end. No telling what I would do. That is such an invasion of privacy.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 404
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:48:00 AM
It's totally amazing how our mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and so on have miraculously avoided being raped and murdered and chopped up into little pieces while on dates when there was no internet to investigate the men they dated.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 405
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/7/2013 11:28:48 AM
^^^
Agree with Maleman999 above.

What is equally fascinating is the number of men and women who perceive "red flags" yet would continue with a planned date simply because a silly Google-driven background check announced a clean verdict? That's nuts.

Jeezus Christmas, folks, if you meet a man or woman for coffee, and you don't like the vibe, simply don't see them again. The value of using that wonderful gray matter between the ears is being seriously minimized here. Use and believe your intuition!
 RJHistoryGirl
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 406
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Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/7/2013 11:40:49 AM
Arlo_...

It sounds like you are jumping to conclusions. You have no idea what *my* dreams are... I have not shared them with you- and I won't. My dreams DO overlap (and are in the process of becoming) reality, but La-la land? Not so much. Cinderella, White Knights, unicorns... blah... real life and real possibilities are much more fun and interesting.

Power play? Not so much again. Not something I "enjoy" either, simply something I "do"... there is just a point where verification is a good thing. There are things in my life that would be jeapordised and/or destroyed by not performing due diligence. It's reasonable to assume that someone I was involved with to the extent that I "felt the need" to verify would also have the same or similar... and would also do the same. I am okay with that, and expect it.

There is nothing "sneaky, underhanded" or weasely about it. Different worlds, different socioeconomic strata... apparently. In some places, some things are the norm, in others, not so much. The world has become a much bigger place in some ways... it exposes us to "the other side"- whatever that is... and things that are habitual that we never imagined.

Maleman... the world has changed much since those days... and yet, changed little. Denying that those same risks and realities were present in the past... is a denial of reality... read a history book. :)
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 407
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:32:07 PM
As predominant in this thread, the vast majority of and the most vocal complaints are coming from men with no pics and/or "fake" profiles. Why are they the ones who have such a huge issue with background checks???


Not having a picture has nothing to do with this topic. I don't have a photo because I'm not actively looking for a date from POF.
 thEmpress3
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 408
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/7/2013 9:18:05 PM
I don't think she's insecure, I think she's a woman who's learned from her past mistakes.. Even though you have may have presented yourself as a good man, how can she really know for sure? She's been burned in the past, and I don't blame her one bit for doing what she felt was necessary to protect her and her family.. I think you're being a bit too sensitive about the whole situation.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 409
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 8:05:14 AM

If someone ever did that to me, that would really anger me to no end. No telling what I would do. That is such an invasion of privacy.


You would probably run upstairs and slap your mother.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 410
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:01:11 AM

As predominant in this thread, the vast majority of and the most vocal complaints are coming from men with no pics and/or "fake" profiles. Why are they the ones who have such a huge issue with background checks???


And why are all of the women who are promoting the idea of background checks refusing to answer the question:
Would you be willing to give all of your personal information to a guy you don't know-a virtual stranger? Especially if he wants all of your personal info before meeting in person. If this guy you don't know also wants to do a credit check on you, are you willing to give him all of your banking information?
 MuscularVampire
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 411
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:38:38 AM
Crsdan, lol wow, such anger, lol How little you know of me. If you truly knew me, you'd know how utterly insane that statement was.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 412
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Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 10:21:19 AM
All I have learned in this thread is there are people gullible enough to give up their personal info so someone else can supposedly feel safe with someone they have never met in person (see the irony in that?) haha.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 413
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 10:40:00 AM
It makes no sense to me to violate the privacy of a man I would respect enough to date.

If I don’t trust him I don’t date him….and I wouldn’t expect him to trust me if I violated his.
 designalife
Joined: 2/11/2013
Msg: 414
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 11:15:42 AM
Here is my humble opinion (yes everyone has one). One cannot be too careful our there. I have only been on POF for 4 weeks. I am also on ChristianSingles. Of the first 3 people I met, they couldn't keep their stories straight. If you are willing to let things happen as they will you are driving down a blind alley. This goes for men as well as women. Whenever there are red flags it pays to do a simple check on the internet.

1. Google their name. See if it shows up.
2. Do they work or have they shared where they work? Google and see if the firm is where it is supposed to be.
3. Is the project they are working on which has been posted? Find out if the project is even in existence.
4. Do they say they are working in Nigeria? Hmmmm.....red flag.

Now don't get me wrong, not everyone out there is like that but there are many who are. It is far better to be safe than sorry. I'm glad that you are willing to take it as it comes but there are also black-widows out there for men also.

Again, don't let your ego get upset about this. Be complemented that she took the time to see if you are for real. And go on from there.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 415
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 11:51:23 AM

Crsdan, lol wow, such anger, lol How little you know of me. If you truly knew me, you'd know how utterly insane that statement was.
Anger? None at all, Actually I find you somewhat amusing in a pathetic sort of way. However, what I do know is that everytime you post your trolling bs it kills threads that I was reading.
 MuscularVampire
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 416
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 12:39:32 PM
Yet, you find it necessary to always comment on what I write. I find that amusing, little man. And what exactly did I say that is trolling? I gave an honest opinion. I find investigating people online an invasion of privacy.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 417
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 12:54:09 PM
Little man?? Now that is funny. I dont find it necessary. I find it amusing. It is similiar to tapping the fish tank and it is a slow Friday.

So if someone logs into the sex abuse registry to find if you are listed, is that an invasion of your privacy? If someone searches to find out if you have a criminal record, is that an invasion of your privacy? I do not think that there is anything wrong with a female doing searches to find out if the stranger she is meeting is not who they claim to be. Not being who they claim to be hmmmm...I can understand why you might be opposed to that,
 lostinalostworld
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 418
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:22:47 PM
Hey MV, you're the little "man" at supposedly 5-8. And really slowwww to. Keep wrestling, a lightweight 5-6 boxer could clean your clock before you could move, lmao.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 419
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:45:06 PM
Hey MV, you're the little "man" at supposedly 5-8. And really slowwww to
Now you have done it. We get to hear how huge he is. How he works out, about the drugs he uses (wink, wink) and how intimidating he is and so on and so on. It is really fairly comical and can be somewhat amusing. It gets irritating when his trolling crap causes flaming and results in the closure of threads. He is a fake, another poster sent me a link to another forum where he was posting garbage. Same pictures, same crap and these posting were from 3 years ago. The people on that forum were calling him out. He responded with the same dribble. So when I see him on here I like to poke at him.
 lostinalostworld
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 420
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:48:38 PM
Sorry bro, I'm just hoping he takes his broken crayons and finishes coloring the last two pages of his "novel", lol. I'm convinced he just got those pics from some 1950's muscle magazine, since he won't / can't update them.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 421
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:55:06 PM

Sorry bro, I'm just hoping he takes his broken crayons and finishes coloring the last two pages of his "novel"
...Oh yes, I forgot about the novel. No worries, I think the resurrection of this thread has run its course anyway. He said in an early thread that if his name was King it would have been published. Rumor has it it is the story of a little boy with psychic abilities and his father gets a job caretaking....hmmm sounds familiar
 MuscularVampire
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 422
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 2:11:20 PM
Dan, What good would that do, if I was just someone that hasn't been caught yet. No what i'm saying. Plenty of people out there have probably done terrible things, yet have never been caught.

Scary thought. It is estimated that there are hundreds of serial killers in this country and over the last 20 years, that have never been caught. Those guys probably have no criminal record, so what good would a search do then?

Women are under the mistaken belief that some search or typing their name on google is going to do anything. It doesn't.
 MuscularVampire
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 423
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 2:13:39 PM
Ummmmm, height isn't size. body mass is size. Boxers are useless. You must not watch much mma, now do you. I have years of kickboxing experience, not to mention mma and submission wrestling experience. So you keep living in your dream world. But the reality is this. The bigger stronger animal will always win. Always.
 MuscularVampire
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 424
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 2:15:10 PM
Dan, people use the same pics. I don't have special pics for this site, and special pics for other sites. Not sure what link you are referring to. 3 years ago, i had different pics. One of my pics is only 8 months old. The other is a little over a year old. so, try again.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 425
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/8/2013 2:39:55 PM

designalife, Msg 456:
3. Is the project they are working on which has been posted? Find out if the project is even in existence.


Project? Are you dating school kids and looking at their school projects? A lot of working people's project is going into work, put in 8 hours and go home. Do you want guys you hardly know investigating your work and projects?
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