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 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 13
19 and a single mother,Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
you having a baby is definitely going to put some people off, but it isnt your biggest concern. from my perspective, this issues are going to be your biggest problem meeting guys, especially online.

1: you have a pic of you and another guy. is he a cousin or a brother? if so, caption the pic and let us know. if hes just some guy, a friend, an ex, fwb, whatever, take the pic off your profile. men dont like this sort of thing.

2: you have no job, and im guessing you dont go to school. id work on one or the other.

3: youre a bigger girl, especially for being so young.

4: your personality type in your profile says "princess" i shouldnt have to explain this one.

work on those things, and perhaps your trust issues, and the single mom thing wont be such a big deal. best of luck to you.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 14
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/6/2013 8:46:52 PM
haters..

just be you

someone will come along

You'll attract someone when you're happy with your life and not looking.

Then bam.. there is some guy.. taking up all your free time. and you're loving it.

:~)
 Bartek412
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 15
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/7/2013 8:19:56 AM
I would date a woman that has a child/children. I wouldn't date someone as young as 19 though.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 16
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History
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/7/2013 2:46:35 PM

haters..

Truth may hurt, doesn't mean it's hateful.


Then bam.. there is some guy.. taking up all your free time. and you're loving it.


The problem is that this theoretical guy you speak of is the one who loses out. Once her child is or close to grown, she's gonna stop loving it and....bam he's screwed and alone. She has to let him go because at night she'll want to........... Go to parties, chug beer and chase boys.

I don't see how you couldn't agree that any guy who puts himself in that situation will detract from his own success.
I am just curious how many of these posters that have sons themselves would give the same advice.

Your son is coming of age confuzzled, when he is 19, would you want him dating a teenage mom? ROFL!

P.S. Love the funky-fresh hat!
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 17
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/7/2013 5:45:49 PM
I would want my son to date whoever makes him happy.

The guy only loses out if he sticks with her and she is treating him like that. Why would she stop loving him just because her child grows up?

I can't stand the stereotypical BS. Because some percentage of people did this, then all of them must do it. *sigh*

I never did that. Everyone is different. Not saying I never went out to "party" but it was never my focus and I would either drag the guy with me or make time for him around that.

Thanks for the compliment. I love that hat. LOL
 AmberLoove
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 18
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/7/2013 11:23:00 PM
Everybody is god damn rude. I am a 22 year old SINGLE mother. Yes i did date when i was 19...right after i had my son...And i met a great guy, we dated for a few years. and we still keep in contact. I say go for it, who are they to say if you are not ready! Only you and you alone will know. Yes you have a baby...Most men dont care if you have a child. Yes you had a child early on, but come on some of these peeople commenting on here were also single moms. You will get through this and trust me your only 19 you have plenty of time to date. But since you are only 19 your still young enough and have your looks so yes you will meet someone, usually when you stop looking. I would rather be a young mom, then be an old mom who is losing her looks, has like 4 kids and have no man want to be with me. lol And if you dont have anything nice to say to me all you old people who are just probably going to start ****ing...whatever. She asked if men will be put off cause shes a single mom...and your all being douche bags about it. maybe cause of your ages...But no men will not be put off by you being a single mom.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 20
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19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/8/2013 3:23:16 PM

lol And if you dont have anything nice to say to me all you old people who are just probably going to start ****ing...whatever. She asked if men will be put off cause shes a single mom...and your all being douche bags about it. maybe cause of your ages...


Lol. It took me awhile to respond. I had to use my walker to get to my van. Then I had to pick up Confuzzled, Charmin and Import from the nursing home.
 Cobenicus
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 21
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/8/2013 6:38:44 PM
Wow, what is it with these forums and a-holes?

Don't listen to these old fools. There's absolutely no reason a single parent can't pursue a career, date, and take care of their child. Is it all gum drops and sunshine? No. Should we all whine about it and give up? Hell no.

The post about single fathers digging through couch cushions made me laugh. What an idiot.

I think the kind of guys you probably want to date will see it as a minor inconvenience. It's your kid, so you get stuck with arranging babysitters and stuff, what will they really have to deal with? You can't date all out party animals, that's about it. Of course, the wrong kind will see you as vulnerable, too.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 23
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/8/2013 7:46:21 PM
~~~
Lol. It took me awhile to respond. I had to use my walker to get to my van. Then I had to pick up Confuzzled, Charmin and Import from the nursing home.
~~~~
LMAOOO Half-way there I realized I forgot my teeth and we had to turn around.. LOL.

~~~~
Everybody is god damn rude. I am a 22 year old SINGLE mother Yes i did date when i was 19...right after i had my son...And i met a great guy, we dated for a few years. and we still keep in contact
~~~
Do you want a cookie?? lol

~~~~
But since you are only 19 your still young enough and have your looks so yes you will meet someone, usually when you stop looking. I would rather be a young mom, then be an old mom who is losing her looks, has like 4 kids and have no man want to be with me
~~~~
*checks mirror* hmm.. pretty sure I look better now then I did then.. hmm.. maybe I need to count how many kids i have.. just to double check.. pretty sure it's just 1 though.. My boyfriend laughs at you..

~~~
But no men will not be put off by you being a single mom.
~~~
Um.. wrong.. Most of them just won't tell you that's the real reason. And those men.. good riddance to em.. don't need those ones wasting your time anyway. (ps.. i encourage the OP.. but your post was ridiculous)

~~~
She is not working, and has trust issues and loves drama (read her profile). Why an intelligent young man (21 to 30 years old) would be interested in such individual? Seriously, what is there for him? She has to put her life together first. That is what many posters are saying. Is she expecting prince charming to rescue her? Welcome to 2013.
~~~
This.. regardless of the age.. will be the real issue. What kind of man would walk into a relationship where the woman clearly can't support herself and doesn't *seem* to be trying. Not saying OPs not working on it.. but at 21 with a baby,my sons father had basically walked out already, I had 3 jobs, college, and a boyfriend who didn't support me.
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 25
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19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/11/2013 12:25:47 AM
Well, I would be put off being that you're 19 years old and you stated your child is 17 years old ;) lolol
 StrykinOut
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 28
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/16/2013 9:30:05 AM
Anyone who truly wants to have a relationship with another needs to be aware of and be prepared to work on areas of his/her partner's issues and insecurities.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 30
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19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/17/2013 3:34:54 AM

just being curious , will men be put off that Im a single mother to a seventeen year old baby girl, not only that but i can never put a guy first in my life and have trust issues , I am a overprotective mother, will this put all you guys off or have i a chance to not be a cat woman for the next 80 years, ha ha xx


Well, think about it this way...
Would you date a young single father who is overprotective of his kid and has truct issues...?


Don't forget the part with the "I can never put a guy first."


Next 80 years? I'm sure your daughter will will grow up in 18-21 years and move out of the house. You're setting up a nice foundation for her success, right? Do you think it would be a good thing for her to follow your footsteps? I mean, you think of yourself as a level-headed individual, I'm sure. You've made educated decisions. What life plan do you want her to follow?
 LucidTheory
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 32
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19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/17/2013 5:30:25 AM
You're 19 with a 17 year old daughter?

Dang, that has to be the earliest pregnancy on record. You even beat that Mexican girl that got pregnant at 5.
Is Guinesses Book of World Records giving you anything? They should have.

OK, there was this 1 year old who was 'pregnant' so technically she may beat you. She was pregnant when she came out the womb. Her undeveloped parasitic twin absorbed into her belly or uterus. They gave her an 'abortion' and removed it.

I guess you're parents or family is really REALLY pro-fetal-life huh? Wow.
 LucidTheory
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 33
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19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/17/2013 5:41:23 AM
I'm just playin around your typo, lol.

I think you can date. The question is - should you? Not worried about your baby, it's the trust issues that are the problem. If you have trust issues you'll invite another man into your life that will likely do something to erode what little fragile trust you have in him or men in general. It's not his place or responsibility to earn your trust back for all men. You have to get that yourself on your own.

Your lack of trust means you don't trust yourself or your ability to make firm decisions and judgements about the guy you choose. How can you start trusting yourself?

1) Speak up and ask questions. Learn how to converse with men so you get an inkling of where they stand and if you're compatible.

2) Be aware of red flag behavior and don't trivialize it. Use it a gauge to determine if he's a keeper or let go.

3) if you have trust issues that he may be interested in your daughter later on, I feel sorry for your daughter because you'll see her as burgeoning competition for men... which again speaks of your ability or inability to nab someone decent. You going pass those insecurities and issues down to our daughter causing a stressful relationship between you two.

You need counseling. I think this is deeper and broader than what the general public can offer you.
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 36
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/17/2013 4:31:14 PM

just being curious , will men be put off that Im a single mother to a seventeen year old baby girl, not only that but i can never put a guy first in my life and have trust issues , I am a overprotective mother, will this put all you guys off or have i a chance to not be a cat woman for the next 80 years, ha ha xx



Did you have the kid when you were 2? You said you're a 19 yr old mother to a seventeen yr old girl, the math doesnt add up.

Did you have the girl @ age 12(and you meant to say he/she is seven years old?) if so, that means you had a kid at a very very young age, and that most certainly puts up red flags.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 38
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/19/2013 7:23:48 AM
No, no, no, you mutton-heads!

OP is 19, *SHE* became a baby-momma at 17, and she has a 2 year-old rugrat. Sheesh...
 jed456
Joined: 4/26/2005
Msg: 39
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19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/19/2013 2:04:49 PM
There might be some guys in your age group, But back when I was nineteen I was not interested in a instant family.
So you may find it harder to find a guy. I mean think about it a nineteen yr old guy is looking for a single girl for fun dating now a baby appears in the picture Im sorry I think most guys are going to shy away just my opinion.
 mommyoftwoo
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 40
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/23/2013 5:59:30 AM
well, im 19 years single mother of two, pisses me off when people assume that because you are young you cant be a good mom, because my kids are my life, and yea a lot of men are put off by that but there is also a lot of really men out there who will love you and your child, i wouldnt rush it just take thing slow, go on a few dates if it get serious then let them meet your child, nothing wrong with dating just dont put your kid off to the side trying to find love :)
 MirageOfPenguins
Joined: 2/9/2013
Msg: 43
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/23/2013 6:18:09 PM
^^^Lol obviously its a typo. I'd be worried if you actually think that is even possible. She would have been a mother at 2 years old if that was the case. That's impossible considering the eggs are in undeveloped form at that age and would be impossible to fertilize before puberty. The average age that girls begin to menstruate is 12 years old.
 Football11234
Joined: 2/24/2013
Msg: 46
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/27/2013 8:54:27 PM
I have been single since me and my ex broke up. In that 2 years I finished my BA, am in graduate school and became a certified cosmetologist. I didn't date because I understand fully relationships take a while to bloom, and time I didn't have to waste. You have to understand being a single parent means we don't have the "luxury" to speed things along as we see fit, we have to be rational and find a partner willing to accept we might not always be there. It takes a lot of understanding on their part. So as long as you don't have false expectations for a relationship you'll eventually find it, it'll just take a lot of time. As for trust issues, work that out before you throw a man into the mix.
 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 47
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/27/2013 9:22:25 PM
In a way, you could say that having a baby so young is a mistake. If so, then wouldn't jumping back into the dating world just increase the risk of doubling up on that same mistake? It's like betting your rent money at the roulette table, losing that and then trying the same game in the hopes of a better outcome.

So change your strategy. Be the best mom ever. Invest the next six years in your child and get him/her off to a great start in school. And maybe put dating onto the back burner until then.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 48
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/28/2013 12:56:39 PM
haha.. i love how everyone has a "magic" number you should "invest" in your child before dating again.. 6 10 12 5 4 16..

well.. I don't know about all that.. but I will be investing my lifetime to my child.. all while dating and hopefully while being married one day.

As if it's any easier once a child is a certain age.. Sure once they are a teen it's easier for mommy to get away.. that doesn't mean it's any less easy for mommy to make the time, or that the child is not affected by it. If anything a teenager, who understand what dating is, what it entails and where it's intended to lead, will have a harder time adjusting to mommy dating, especially if mommy didn't date when they were younger. My son's only issue with me dating is he wants me to hurry up and marry someone already. He hasn't quite grasped the whole concept of time invested. LOL but then again.. his "girlfriends" last 2 weeks.. so anything over that is probably a long time to him. HA
 Jesselia
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 49
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 3/2/2013 6:02:34 PM
Dating at 19 is hard enough, with a young baby, its even worse. With all due respect, OP, I think you should focus on what you want out of life, career wise right now. Go to school or get trained in something that would get you easily employed. Loneliness kills, I get it. But until you are financially and emotionally responsible for yourself and your daughter, dating will only complicate things. You don't want to be back to square one at this age.
 mannmann212
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 50
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 3/3/2013 1:18:38 PM
Hello love how are u today u are beautiful i would like to get to know u more is that ok with u my name is devon but ppl call me mann

I will like to get to know u more is that cool with u
 Jesselia
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 51
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 3/3/2013 1:28:02 PM

Hello love how are u today u are beautiful i would like to get to know u more is that ok with u my name is devon but ppl call me mann

I will like to get to know u more is that cool with u

[\quote]

The OP lives in the UK and you are in Ohio. But go for it if your heart desires lol
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