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 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 21
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was he using her or did he want a relationship?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Maybe he didnt mind the girlfriend knowing cos he knew she would stay with him. Who knows.


Of course he knew , he has been living with this woman for some time , and knows exactly how she would react
but to say he didn't mind ,maybe be an overstep.. but , he knew she wouldn't leave .
and you can bet your last dollar that the story and B.S. he told her, doesn't represent reality
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 22
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was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2013 12:49:28 PM
Op.. The irony of all this is ....Is I'll bet the woman he's living with, is giving him better sex now ...!!
win ! win !
But,, thats why they call them players !!
 relaxingwithyou
Joined: 12/2/2012
Msg: 23
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2013 12:52:35 PM
I dont think I need to worry because Im not with anyone thats why Im on here and if I was it wouldnt be with a pillock like him, not that I ever met him, not that I would ever want to.


Yes but the reality remains that your friend does not have a properly functioning moral compass and I don't think you should trust her in any area of your life. You seem like such a nice and bright person from your posting history, hoping to help you bypass a major lesson, which is.....if you sleep with dogs you get fleas. Good luck!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2013 1:54:58 PM
And here I am wondering why I am even worried about trying to date the opposite gender????? The world seems to full of people that will do whatever is required to satisify their own personal needs,,,,,first. I really no likey these types, so yes, I do believe I am phucked. And not in the good way either.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 26
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was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2013 3:46:41 PM
A genuine/good man would not be in this position, then again your friend is just as low in the gutter and his perfect match. How can you be screwing a guy cheating on his live-in girl friend and wonder if he's genuine? Of course he isn't, neither is your friend, she's the same as him.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 27
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2013 4:34:06 PM
the clearest part of this post was the last line:

"if she just had said yes, she could have had something"

could have had.....uh...what?

a great relationship?

a perfect life?

a final filling of that empty hole in her self identity?

a pile of dung, looks like a pile of dung, b/c its a pile of dung. hoping to make it something else simply by putting effort into it, is intentional blindness. that's calls its validity into question, and the proof that its questionable isn't necessary.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 28
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was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2013 4:42:02 PM
to start an affair with a man who was living with someone.

he had explained that the he had been married had an affair and his wife threw him out.

A woman up the road become friendly with him, they become friends and then lovers. Before he knew it she had moved in and he found himself in a relationship and thats not really what he wanted.

Should I keep going?

Do I need to bullet the above?

She must of held a gun to his head, and made him take her in!

Your friend was crazy to get involved in the first place.

When are women going to get it?

I digress….sorry Vicki but it's just plain stupid.
Jan
 MrOogam
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 29
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/5/2013 10:11:47 PM
And you had to ask this for her because........ is she that dumb struck? Or just that dumb?
 Sparkleslil
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 31
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2013 2:29:57 AM
Oh for gods sake he was doing what it was using, why? because he could. This is a classic a Leopard doesn't change its spots it just gets up and moves. What a shame. There are Plenty of Fish in the Sea.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 32
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2013 7:10:29 AM
MSG 30 - Wow, OP! You have certainly come up with every interpretation of relative ethics one can think of in order to rationalize immoral behavior.

Everyone's doing it? If you want to believe that, you will find the evidence.
Sounds like you spent quite a bit of time coming up with excuses for your "friend's" behavior.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 34
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2013 8:43:54 AM
Jeez, this sounds like white trash in the burbs. Ok, I'm going to take off my priest collar and not look at these people as human beings looking for soul mates. Your friend should look at him as a shag buddy only if he doesn't sleep around. But let's be real. The guy is a serial shagger with no nads. Letting a woman move in and now he's afraid to kick her out because of his sisters? Sounds like he was raised by women. As long as your friend sees him as a shag buddy only and doesn't invest herself emotionally, why not? But we all know that's a pile of crap...
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 35
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2013 10:12:44 AM
He also wanted to move in with her and she said no. Some men have just never been alone and don't want to be, so they hop from girlfriend to girlfriend (live in situations). It's not much different than the belief some have that women don't leave a relationship unless they have another in waiting.

Women "newly on the market" are really naive and trusting. IMO, it's hard for them to see past or through "the moment" and make illogical and detrimental choices. They are caught up in the newness of someone else finding them attractive and the sparks of all of those feelings they hadn't felt in a long time. (no, not speaking entirely from my self, but have seen my newly separated girl friends often go through this at first).

They get "smarter" (eg, cautious).
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 37
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:51:53 PM
Gawd, I know. I almost hate all that I've learned. How sheltered I've been with long term relationships and decent guys. One thing to keep in mind, though, is that people tend to start to think the same, influenced by each other here, or they see a statement and read a couple posts reinforcing it, and the mindset goes that way. I'm guilty of that too. It might be good to be cautious, but don't take the "human" out of human beings.

Remember there are over a million (at least) on POF alone, and only a couple hundred forum posters. There are millions who have never read forums, millions who aren't on this dating site, and many many men who have only been in a couple LTR's and feel the same was we do (did) about people.

We are supposed to learn from our lifetime experiences, but here, we are learning about many many lifetime experiences. Also remember that the general tone is towards the negative here (only because people are giving caution). If they each had to account for 5 positive experiences every time they stated a negative, the entire tone would be different. Humans are way too complex to reduce an issue with being human into a 2 or 3 sentence response. It's easy to state a simplified answer. Sometimes people need to hear it "cut through all the bull" and simplified, though.

Don't lose faith. Naively or not, love prevails, and the hardships are minimal compared to experiencing that gift, no matter how long it lasts.

The only "good" thing I've learned here is the constant reminders to communicate and interesting insights into human behavior by certain posters.

Maybe you and your husband should talk??
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 38
was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:59:08 PM
Hes cheating, shes cheating, Whos zoomin who??? What a cluster f*ck !! Yikes!! Why do people do nasty chit with their lives and too op's lives, then expect sympathy when it blows up in their face? Goodness!! ever stop and think things through or maybe consider the consequences of your actions ???
 1frantastic
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 40
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was he using her or did he want a relationship?
Posted: 2/7/2013 2:39:47 AM

he poisoned the water by tipping off his live-in girlfriend and let her do all the dirty work

BECAUSE HE was the live-in(moocher) and wanted her to be his new residence until a better offer would come along...
and she would only be the temporary "better offer...or not"...this is the way of a 'good playar'.....and yes..the women DO enable themselves to be played....
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