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 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 14
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

Women are insecure for the most part and they see any guy who shares too much of himself too early on as weak.


If I am on a date and a women starts to share every last detail of her last failed relationship, and expresses how much she needs to be with a man, it scares me away also. Who needs to have to pry another person out of your life.

Lacking confidence is never appealing in woman, and even less appealing in a man.

I think the OP should just look to date, have some fun and not worry about needing a suitable partner. Why rush into a new relationship, those will come along even faster if you aren't looking for one.
 Ready_Real
Joined: 10/30/2012
Msg: 15
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/5/2013 2:04:03 PM

Women are insecure for the most part


People are insecure for the most part. And is it any wonder given the myriad of social molds out there in World Real just waiting to bend us, shape us, twist us into place. Then again, most people by 45+ realize that some of this social posturing equals survival across a bunch of playing fields, and we may be among the fortunate who can pick and choose just where and when we will "hold 'em, fold 'em, walk away, and run"


and they see any guy who shares too much of himself too early on as weak.

Depends upon the man, the Woman, and how the twain shall meet.


Women talk about how they want sensitive guys, but their actions belie this assertion.

Again: depends upon the man, the woman etc.


Its okay to open yourself up to a woman. That is called intimacy. But it is fatal to do so too early in a relationship.

Spot on agree. Time and timing. For a number of reasons many of which are connected to the wisdom/caution that comes with experience/age.


Women simply do not think like we think.

\Depends upon the woman -- and the man--- and the woman and the man together.


And they also rarely say what they really think or feel.


More likely to be true of younger (as in less experienced) women. In contrast, I'd say the majority of 45+ emotionally available physically fit women rarely waste precious time saying anything but what they really think or feel.


Being perceived as needy or weak by a woman
or a man

is the kiss of death
until/unless a relationship develops into something substantive based upon mutual trust leading to reciprocal respect and love/affection:)
 Wastrel
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 17
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/5/2013 3:00:08 PM

You think positively and consider that for everyone out there there is a suitable partner and it's just a question of time and patience

I do believe that.

Also believe you can remain completely sincere / honest / truthful while still refraining from over-sharing.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 20
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/5/2013 5:53:47 PM
I can see why you would think so CI, but I do not hate women in the least. On the other hand, I am not shy expressing my opinions about the way I see things. I have dated lots of women in my life and that gives me a perspective that you could not have.
 realmofthought
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 21
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/12/2013 4:14:43 AM
As most things in life...nothing succeeds like success. Work on your self confidence and image ...stay real and be yourself and give it some time...you'll be fine.
 wcratz2012
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 22
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/12/2013 11:00:28 AM
Getting advise is super easy. Its just applying it that could take a life time.

Women sense lack of confidence from the word go. When you approach a woman they will give you feed back in various ways that they know and are repelled by it. So now your lack of confidence is amplified and your broadcasting further then you like.

So its a endless downward spiral from that point.

Enjoy.....
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 23
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/12/2013 1:13:48 PM
Sure women want sensitive guys, but no one ever explains what they meant by that.

They want men that are sensitive to their emotional ups and downs, that respond to their needs, senstive to their emotions.

They don't want guys that keep whining about their own insecurities, they can get that with their GFs.
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 24
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/12/2013 1:23:17 PM
Confidence is attractive ...very attractive to women.
Lack of confidence -- not attractive. And yeah, it could be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
 wcratz2012
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 25
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/12/2013 6:20:15 PM
See "Confidence is attractive ...very attractive to women.
Lack of confidence -- not attractive. And yeah, it could be interpreted as a sign of weakness."

Men don't do that.
We are far more civilized about matters of the heart.
 wt1
Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 27
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/13/2013 4:15:49 PM
Of course it's a weakness. Everybody has some sort of weakness.
What I have learned, and work, to do is turn my weakness into a strength.

We all start out in this world as soft, weak, while being cute (most of the little ones) we're all ignorant.

We grow bigger and stronger and gather smarts (again, some of us), at different degress.

So live, learn and enjoy. You're never going to be a perfect being. So enjoy life as you encounter it!


(~besides, if you were a perfect person you probally wouldn't be able to stand yourself!~)
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 29
Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/16/2013 5:09:34 PM
No, but weakness is a sign of lacking confidence. Fake it. Bluff your way through. Lie to yourself. False bravado is better than none at all. Act confident and you'll be confident. Boast. Brag. Have a ball. Don't fall back on booze or drugs. That's weakness.
 LucidTheory
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 32
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Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?
Posted: 2/16/2013 11:09:04 PM

Is lacking confidence a sign of weakness?

Yes.

Ok.. so you've come out of a long relationship and aren't too sure whether anyone would be attracted to you.
You message a few selected, suitable, compatibles and get no reply.
You look in the mirror and think 'Jeeez'.
You think positively and consider that for everyone out there there is a suitable partner and it's just a question of time and patience.
You tell yourself to like yourself more and feel more comfortable about who you are.
You open your heart, gush sincerity, honesty and truthfulness.

Question: How is this perceived? Is it a weakness? Is it baggage or demons in closets?


How is WHAT perceived? If you open your heart and gush sincerity, honesty, and truthfulness - where is the lack of self confidence in that? Or do you not present what you say and think you present? IOW - are you lying to yourself about all the sincerity, honesty, and truthfulness you think you show?
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