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 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 11
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gfPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I had this really odd dream the other night
Someone tried that approach with me before, and it was probably too subtle.. because I was still utterly shocked when she planted a kiss on me! I had NO idea that by telling me about the bicurious dream she had, that it meant she actually wanted to act on it. Call me naive, but it was totally out of the realm of reality in my mind.

Anyway Op, tell the woman.. you are just prolonging the inevitable by not. And really, you could be wrong on how she would react.
 StrangeDreams
Joined: 1/30/2013
Msg: 12
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/5/2013 1:49:14 PM
okay am I reading this right? you want your new girlfriend to put a strap on and goose you up the ass with it and watch bisexual porn, are you talking girl on girl or guy on guy?
And you're afraid to ask her about this? the fact that you're afraid to ask her tells me she is the wrong girl for you..Time to move on Man.

I dont get the ole strap on and getting goosed up the ass but to each his own I guess.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 13
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/5/2013 1:56:15 PM
As others have said, the only way to go is to talk to her.

Sure, if she is as vanilla as you think you run the risk of losing her, but as a bad sex life is unacceptable to you as it is for most people, there won't be any other way.

If the two of you are incompatible and can not enjoy a mutually satisfying sex life, you'll have to part ways sooner or later anyhow.

Tell her you'd love to watch porn with her, try out toys, etc, the things you enjoyed with your previous g/f.

Good luck to the two of you.

IMHO it is always best to bring up non-vanilla desires before even getting into anything resembling a more serious relationship.
 StrangeDreams
Joined: 1/30/2013
Msg: 16
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/5/2013 3:21:10 PM
The question is do you have a interest in men? because if you're girlfriend is as vanilla as you say, and I dont know if you have a thing for men this will shock the shit out of her, depending on the relationship you have with her you might sit down with her and talk to her about it, who knows she might be open and hasn't told you for fears you might think she is a freak.

But on the other hand she might be the type that despises kinky sex and things and will run screaming, so it depends on how your relationship and comfort level with this woman is?

Funny thing is most guys are cool with girl and girl and most women are not cool with guy and guy.
 2hotcougar
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 17
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/5/2013 3:33:23 PM
i love a guy that has a open mind and is not afraid to tell what he wants to do or try as far as useing a toy on aman hell yes i will do that for him
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 18
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/5/2013 3:38:41 PM
Now that you have shared a bit more Op.. I'm curious.. have you tried to do some stuff outside of missionary with her? And if so, how did she react? Were you able to discuss it and come to some sort of understanding? Or was it just swept under the rug because you think she's amazing?

I have not been intimate with a man nor do I know if I ever will be.
I'm thinking that the uncertainty in this response is what will determine her level of comfort with it all, not necessarily the toys and porn.. just a guess mind you. But then, if she's as vanilla as you say, and even oral is out of the question? Then yeah.. it isn't sounding like it's something she could accept.

Still.. you'll have to risk running it all by her.
 ManhHeartLove
Joined: 10/20/2012
Msg: 19
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/5/2013 3:53:24 PM
love and caring must be real if not real it hurts the two
 *Dr_Hugnkiss*
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 21
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History
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:03:39 PM
Op you have a great frame of mind and I can certainly see that you care a lot for this girl.

IMO I think you should start slowly, the whole sexual journey can be great fun. It would be superb if you could help her along that path. Relish every step and do as much together as possible.

You would need to go as slowly as SHE is happy with but you really need to lead her (assuming she trusts and cares for you that should be ok, if done respectfully)

I'd be inclined to put your bi curious stuff to one side for the moment; once you have success with small steps then you can keep doing them (they will become the norm)

I would suggest some kind of counselling for her or you both, maybe sexual or just relationship stuff. If you can show her that you think she is wonderful and you want to please her in every way...and you'll get vicarious please from that too, then I think you'll both be sorted.
 baldguy500
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 22
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:10:10 PM
if you're bicurious, then tell your gf.....if you can't then you need to remember communication is everything......


it's ok to tell a politician he is a POS......they already know they are
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 25
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/8/2013 1:38:48 PM
Problem is after we broke up I started dating another woman who truly is great in every aspect of life and in many ways the most incredible woman I have ever meet, except sexually. She is very vanilla.


That's your 'problem',not her's.If anything don't bother to tell her about your desires,just don't continue down this road knowing full well you aren't sexually compatible.Life's to short to try and fit a square peg into a round hole.(pun intended)


She is somewhat self conscious as she has a scar from having a child and some tearing that occured down there. Crazy part is in truth her imperfections only highten her perfectness to me. Ive told her time and time again how beautiful I think she is even recommending we go to counseling together. She does not want to though. So she does not let me go down on her, which is a shame as I absolutely love foreplay. As far as regular sex, she can only handle missionary. I dont say that to imply im extremely well endowed as I am around average size. We have discussed my unhappiness with thevarack of sex, twice a month if im lucky and lack of variety in the sex we do have. To my dismay her response is that she would allow me to have.sex with other women but I do not wish to hurt her, I wish to grow with her. She has told me shd has lost boyfriends before due to this issue.


I just caught this and I have to say this is all the more reason to end this for both of your sakes unless you are dedicated to forsaking your own sex life that is.
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 26
bicurious and unaware of proper way to communicate that to gf
Posted: 2/8/2013 2:06:47 PM
Dude, don't spring this thing on her full bore. That will not go over too well. What you want to do is slowly introduce her to the ways of sex and advanced sex. You don't throw someone in the deep edge right away unless they have that adventurous side to them. Tell her you'd like to introduce some simple toys like a feather, some ice cubes, a blindfold, then move up to tying each other down. Then a vibrator. Then get her to go shopping with you at an adult toy store. Introduce some video, but take you sweet time educating her. Start simple, enjoy it together, it will take her lots of time but once she "gets it" then you can start getting more adventurous.
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