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 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 25
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mentor issues.Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Join the club; if there's one thing I found out in that lifestyle, it's that male doms like to collect female submissives - having enough time/energy to spend with them is secondary, unless it's on a very casual basis for all but the primary. It happened in my relationship, and it happened to almost every Dom/sub poly relationship I knew over 7 years.

<div class="quote"> is he just putting me to the back burner, because he cant balance a new job a primary GF and a pet/sub/student?
Yup, that would be it. And don't let him tell you anything different, either.

Anyway, you don't need a "mentor" for this and even if you did, a female would be just as good, as well as someone with whom you aren't sexually involved. At most, keep your current "mentor" as a casual play partner. Otherwise, rely on yourself and your own judgement and find someone who has time to spend with you, even if you have to learn it together - that could be a lot of fun, you know. At least where I live, there are many avenues for learning at play parties, private parties, meetups, workships and weekend long conferences.

ETA:
Munches are social BDSM meetings, usually held at a restaurant. Generally, things look pretty vanilla, play and overt LS behavior is usually discouraged. It's often recommended as a way for newbies to "dip their toes", without a lot of pressure or being overwhelmed as they might be at an out-and-out playparty.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 26
mentor issues.
Posted: 2/6/2013 1:51:06 PM
People, mainly women in polyamorous relationships often post simular questions. It makes me quesition the lifestyle, is it any better than more typical vanilla relationships?

I also wonder what happens to the people in these relationships as they get older and no so attractive.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 27
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mentor issues.
Posted: 2/6/2013 3:09:22 PM
I don't think you're prepared for this type of lifestyle.

Did you know that having sex triggers oxytocin to flood your brain? This is the long term cuddle drug. It happens and it makes you care and nurture, not copacetic for a casual relationship. Also other chemicals like dopamine and adrenaline and testosterone. (these make you want more).

You might want to check out the chemicals of sex/love before you think you know what all this entails.

I stay clear because I'd rather go with the flow that I'm happy with, rather than have the flow drive me.
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