Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 WhatNamesAreLeftThen
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 31
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Numbers and sex talk is usually brought up in conversation with promiscuous women. I prefer women with less experience but, willingness.
 Don56789
Joined: 11/19/2017
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/16/2018 9:17:18 PM
I don't care if she is a virgin or inexperienced, if she's *someone* I want to be with, that's all I need.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 33
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/16/2018 9:24:54 PM

Well, more importantly, you can't expect the truth -- even from pretty honest people.

No you can't, because it's a dumb question that doesn't deserve a response.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/17/2018 4:02:00 PM

Surveys totally prove this, as # of people straight folks had sex with should be ~even between men & women

You keep repeating this non-fact....and even used a scenario to try to prove it...
but you are still wrong!!

If 20 men are on island with 20 women....and all of them men had sex with the same one girl....
then there is NOT an even result!!
Her number is 20....the men's are 1....and the rest of the women 0!!

And NO....number of partners has nothing to do with how good one is in bed.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/17/2018 10:09:42 PM

If 20 men are on island with 20 women....and all of them men had sex with the same one girl....
then there is NOT an even result!!
Her number is 20....the men's are 1....and the rest of the women 0!!

Yes! And guess what the AVERAGE is for each *gender*? The SAME! :)

A person doesn't have an average -- they have a #. Each person within a gender has a #. Take the sum total among each in a gender, and divide by the number in that gender. It's. The. Same. 1. :) (drops mic)

No you can't, because it's a dumb question that doesn't deserve a response.

I agree. The problem is, when you don't give a response, the questioner who's serious about asking that question is going to assume it's negative (either virgin or near virgin at a non-young age; or "too many"). Knowing that, that's why I think it's ethical to give a skewed response.

Kind of like if a semi-creepy guy on a 1st date goes, "So your mom lives on xxxx Elm Street in Springfield, just north of 1st street?" you could say Yes if she did... or say No even though she did. :)
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/18/2018 1:44:46 PM
in any serious relationship I have had, it comes up. I am always amazed at how few they had and they are shocked at how many I had. their would need to be a few women out there in the thousands or a few men getting none to average out the difference or I just happen to pick women with low numbers.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/18/2018 2:06:51 PM
msg#36:
Each person within a gender has a #


Taking this out of the context of NG post, but I'm wondering what to do if one can't remember their #?
Hardly remember my age or the current year or for god sake what century I am now in! hahahah
What is the best way to answer this if asked? Make up a number that sounds plausible? Whether is has anything to do with reality or not? Treat it as a joke and inflate/deflate the number? Shrug and act mysterious? What? I'm sure I'm not the only one dealing with this conundrum. Advice appreciated~
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/18/2018 2:34:50 PM
LOL,


Make up a number that sounds plausible?



I tried to find the mathematical formula, where as you take a number, add, multiply, subtract and divide, to find the correct answer...…………….so far I've come up empty handed!
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/18/2018 3:02:21 PM
"I'm not that experienced in sex, but I'd love to talk to you about it first. What do you think?"
Holds up book..."I've never tried this, but the writer makes it seem like a fun thing to do. What do you think?"
"I'd love to ____ you tonight. What do you say?"
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/18/2018 3:13:00 PM

A person doesn't have an average -- they have a #. Each person within a gender has a #. Take the sum total among each in a gender, and divide by the number in that gender. It's. The. Same. 1. :) (drops mic)


what does "averages" have to do with facts???
fact is....19 of those women didn't have sex- so there # is 0
there is no "even" here.....20 men had sex....1 woman had sex....

has anyone ever asked a date what is there "average"????

Oh....I average about 1.3 a year....o_O
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 41
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/18/2018 4:03:09 PM
I'm often shocked by how many sex partners guys have said they had. I'll be perfectly honest and say I had 5. The last guy I talked about with this told me he had 12 in the last year but maybe over 100 in his life as he slept around quite a bit in his younger years. And the last guy I was with said he was at well over a 100 but almost all of them were in his pre-marriage days. My big bad ex was over 75. Even a guy I slept with once who I thought wasn't likely to have gotten laid much slept with around 50. Those numbers really freak me out. I do know though that there are many women who have just as big of numbers but most women I know the numbers are much lower.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/18/2018 4:20:02 PM
a single man can very easily rack up over a hundred women before marriage....
even if he didn't start till he was 18....and was married at 30....that is 12 years of playing around.
1 a month would equal 144 partners....and that's a low "average" (hee hee) for a lot of guys!!
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/18/2018 5:23:51 PM
^^^^ Yep, MsMicki, that's about right, LOL.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/18/2018 9:07:18 PM

I'm often shocked by how many sex partners guys have said they had. I'll be perfectly honest and say I had 5. The last guy I talked about with this told me he had 12 in the last year but maybe over 100 in his life as he slept around quite a bit in his younger years. And the last guy I was with said he was at well over a 100 but almost all of them were in his pre-marriage days.


Those numbers sound like bullshit. Men are known for lying up while women are assumed to lie down (no pun intended). The people I've known with the higher numbers were more often women, because it is much easier for women to rack up a high roster if we really want to. Guys have to work more to get laid.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/19/2018 6:36:09 AM
I spent most of my adult life in a serious relationship and wasn't a cheater. when I met my ex at 23, she was #23. could of easily been over 100 but I was just too damn picky. after my divorce and before the next LTR, about 8 monthes, I added about 50 more. 6 was all in one night at a wild party. 10 years later and single again, I was more reserved and still managed to get seduced by a dozen or more in less than a year. after my last break up, only 3. that is right around 90-100 over 37 years but most over an 8 year period and 75 in less than two years. a guy that never commits and isn't very selective can easily rack up the numbers. even in my 8 month binge, I was semi selective.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/19/2018 6:38:00 AM
Most people probably won't be honest. Men might say they had a higher number of sex partners when they are talking to their male friends. But men might say they had a lower amount of sex partners when they are dating a woman. Otherwise some women might assume that he is a "player" or is afraid of commitment.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/19/2018 7:42:36 AM
I just can't figure out where all these women are that guys find to sleep with...I do think that some women make the rounds with all the guys. I have known some women who sleep around. In my university days there were a few and I have a couple family members who I know do this and a few women in town well-known for their routine of it. But the majority of women I know did not ever sleep around.

The high numbers men have kind of make me sad. If he's had so many women, that would make me not so special at all, just another in a long line of women. And then I think about the whole hooker thing. There's obviously a market for them so there must be a whole lot of guys that use them and some of them I might even know, that's really alarming. And I still end up with the conclusion and question, do most men cheat when they have the opportunity? I always thought that love and sex were very close terms. You sleep with someone because you want to know them more and be with them. I get the part about having sex for temporary fun but I just don't derive satisfaction from that. To me the more sex you have with the same person the better it gets. But obviously men just see sex as a need to get satisfied by whoever, doesn't matter who, for as many times as I want. Am I wasting my time thinking there's any hope of finding a guy that just wants to be with me who won't cheat? Trying not to think bleakly here. The more I think about it, the more I do not understand men at all. What do men even think about women?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/19/2018 8:43:31 AM
^^^ Just because a man or woman plays the field while single does not mean he will automatically be a cheater...
There are millions of people in this world...and each one has a different view of sex/love.
You just find the one that wants the same thing as you from that point on....the past is just that....the past.
You have got to stop lumping all men into the same category as your ex (and father)....your mistrust and insecurites will be the downfall of any potential relationship you might have more so than the number of men he might have slept with.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/19/2018 10:24:04 AM

The high numbers men have kind of make me sad. If he's had so many women, that would make me not so special at all, just another in a long line of women

That is why I wouldn't date or sleep with guys who slept with more than ~5-7 women.
Guys that do that are either old which means more years dating or they have issues and use women and find it easy to forget them.
Dated a few guys where I just didn't sleep with them because they had slept with an ambiguously higher amount than I'd accept.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/19/2018 11:21:27 AM

Just because a man or woman plays the field while single does not mean he will automatically be a cheater...
I never cheated. 16 years, 10 years and 6 years between 3 serious relationships. even if I am merely dating (went out once and planned a second date), I am not even talking to other women. which is more important, being loyal in every relationship or sleeping around when that is all I wanted? as a teen, mostly girlfriends that just didn't last that long. after my divorce, they were hookups but I was crystal clear that I didn't want a relationship and every last one slept with me anyway.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 51
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/19/2018 12:56:20 PM
Back to the OP: lack of sexual experience is neither a turn on nor turn off. If he is inexperienced, I just ask that he is open and willing to learn new things. I don't put too much stock into numbers. Most people aren't going to be truthful about theirs anyway. I take the person as an individual & how we treat each other, how loyal we are to each-other, etc.

I agree with the previous posters who stated that the number of sexual partners doesn't necessarily equate to how experienced or "good" a person is in bed. I got the majority of my experience within my LTRs, not flings.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 52
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/19/2018 10:01:25 PM
If a person is interested in experimenting sexually and finding mutual satisfaction then the fact that you may be inexperienced currently can certainly change with the right partner. The question of our past lovers is not anyone else's business. Women tend to downplay the number and men overplay lol!
.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/20/2018 12:01:41 AM

what does "averages" have to do with facts???

That it's a FACT that the Average # one slept with of the opp-sex is THE SAME, for each gender. You say each gender does Not have the same average # of people they slept with. They do. That's a Fact.

You said it's NOT a fact that the female average is different than the male average. It is. You said it's incorrect. It is correct.

fact is....19 of those women didn't have sex- so there # is 0
there is no "even" here.....20 men had sex....1 woman had sex....

The average is Equal for men & women as a whole in this scenario (=1). You realize that, don't you? Disagree or agree? You obviously have to agree. It's basic math. Even if all the men is shifted to 1 gal, and the other 19 are virgins... and all 20 men each had 1 gal. It's called an Average.

So the point, when one thinks the average # of women men slept with is higher than the # of men that women slept with -- they're wrong. Surveys have it much higher, even when combined together. Problem is, that's impossible. It's going to be ~equal. As close to equal as the # of men & women.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 54
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/20/2018 5:12:06 AM
Yeah....I know how averages work....

Therefore....all the women that didn't have sex.....have an average of 0!!
The woman that had sex with all the men....has an average of 20!!
All the men have an average of 1!!

You are correct on the group average....(does that make you feel better?)
I am correct on the individual's averages...
Since I don't date "groups"....the group average doesn't matter to me...
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 55
view profile
History
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/20/2018 7:24:07 AM
Is less partners bad? Let's see........married to one man for a long time = faithful, less partners means less chance of disease and less baby-daddies........ what's not to like?

People love to worry about non-issues.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  >