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 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 56
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
but what if one sex has more gay or bisexual? how does that effect the averages?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 57
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/20/2018 8:26:51 AM

I never cheated. 16 years, 10 years and 6 years between 3 serious relationships. even if I am merely dating (went out once and planned a second date), I am not even talking to other women. which is more important, being loyal in every relationship or sleeping around when that is all I wanted? as a teen, mostly girlfriends that just didn't last that long. after my divorce, they were hookups but I was crystal clear that I didn't want a relationship and every last one slept with me anyway.


It relieves me to hear things like this. I think that there are many people who won't cheat. Something about their personality type. I know I myself would never cheat no matter what.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 58
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/20/2018 12:23:57 PM

Therefore....all the women that didn't have sex.....have an average of 0!!

Sure. The average # of men that virgin women have sex with is 0. What's your point? LOL. Each woman individually doesn't have an "average". Again, no individual woman has an average. An individual woman has a #, which averages are derived from out of a Group. An average is among a group. The group we're talking about is a Whole Gender. Which is ~The Same, for both men & women when we're talking about the # of folks of the opp-sex you had intercourse with (or held hands with, or climbed a tree with, etc).

Women on average slept with the same # men as men slept with women, on average. Do you disagree, yes or no? I ask because you said you Disagreed and that that statement is wrong. It's True.

but what if one sex has more gay or bisexual? how does that effect the averages?

In my prev example, it's the # of men you had sex with if you're a woman, and the # of women you had sex with if you're a man. Eliminates same-sex encounters... which no, doesn't affect the average we're talking about.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 59
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/20/2018 4:43:20 PM
I still disagree.....because we don't live on an island of only 20 people!!

I disagree....because there will never be a 1:1 ratio of men sleeping with women....

I disagree... because there are appx 60 million more men on this planet than women ...

I disagree.... because your "averages" are based on made up scenarios and not the real world....
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 60
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/20/2018 5:29:00 PM

I still disagree.....because we don't live on an island of only 20 people!!

But on that island, do you agree that the average between men & women are BOTH = 1? :) Secondly, it doesn't matter how you slice it and dice it on that island -- it's going to be the SAME. Same with holding hands between guy & gal. Guys' overall average is going to be the same as gals' overall average.

And -- this is basic 6th grade math here -- it doesn't matter if there's 20, 10, 2 million, or 200k. Doesn't matter. It doesn't change the average. BUT why is this so hard? Psychological emotion gets in the way. "It can't be true!" I have the proof right there, but some people refuse to see it. Look it up. :)

I disagree....because there will never be a 1:1 ratio of men sleeping with women....

Again, this is your main reason. It "can't be true" emotion says so. Don't let emotion trump logic.

I disagree.... because your "averages" are based on made up scenarios and not the real world....

Again, it doesn't matter how many people. IF the # of men & women are roughly the same -- you'll get roughly the same Average among each gender who slept with the other. Or held hands with the other. Or sang a song together.

I disagree... because there are appx 60 million more men on this planet than women ...

"Like most sexual species, the sex ratio in humans is approximately 1:1". In certain circles it will vary, and in those certain circles it'll skew a little.

But the point is, even with a 1:1 ratio, you still don't understand that actions that men do with women are going to be Just As Even in terms of averages.

But this is awesome someone so emotionally is against this. It shows how society is skewed based on conditioning & emotion, even though basic math can prove otherwise.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 61
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/20/2018 7:35:08 PM

"Like most sexual species, the sex ratio in humans is approximately 1:1". In certain circles it will vary, and in those certain circles it'll skew a little.


did u miss the part where there are 60 million more men on this planet....
so yeah....that 1:1 ratio is definitely skewed a little...

funny thing is.....my life is math....I get paid to do math...I am known as "the human calculator" amongst my friends and family....
and until you can show me exact proof of how many sexual partners that every person on this planet has had and I can do the math myself.....I will continue to hold to my disagreement with your personal "theory" of averages.

and as we both have agreed on.....averages have nothing to do with personal numbers....
or sexual compatibility....or sexual prowess....
Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/21/2018 5:42:32 AM
For myself, lack of experience is a huge turn off. I do not want to have to teach someone and would rather they last longer then 2 seconds.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 63
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/21/2018 1:58:06 PM

averages have nothing to do with personal numbers....
or sexual compatibility....or sexual prowess..



LOL, I'm feeling so left out. I have never seen an "average". What, pray do tell, does an "average" look like?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 64
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/21/2018 4:53:57 PM

For myself, lack of experience is a huge turn off. I do not want to have to teach someone and would rather they last longer then 2 seconds.


if only # of partners guaranteed they lasted longer!!

as for lack of experience....for me, it depends on the individual...
my guy, even though he was pushing 60 when we got together, had never been with a woman that enjoyed oral sex....so had limited experience in it....
But was more than willing to...err....dive right in...and learn!!
He was a great student that has mastered the art quite well!!
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 65
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/22/2018 10:56:06 AM

Is less partners bad? Let's see........married to one man for a long time = faithful, less partners means less chance of disease and less baby-daddies........ what's not to like?


Not necessarily. A person with relatively fewer sex partners may have had sexual intercourse with IV drug users and/or without a condom. Things that can increase the chances of unwanted pregnancies and/or STDs.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 66
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/22/2018 9:04:04 PM
^^^ Hemingway has a point. The higher the number, the more high-risk they are. By high-risk I mean, a higher-risk to my sexual health. When you sleep with someone, especially if it's unprotected (and we all know condoms are not the ultimate safeguard to STIs), you are exposing yourself to not only them but whoever they had sex with in the past. Of course there may be those anomalies such as a virgin who caught something the first time he/she had sex but generally that's not the case.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 67
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/22/2018 10:05:28 PM
Actually, theoretically, the risk of contracting something is equal no matter if you are sleeping with someone who has only slept with one other person verses someone who has slept with 100. However, your risk goes up if you are sleeping with someone from a pool of people in which STDs are prevalent. In some geographic regions there are outbreaks of a particular STI/STD and all you need theoretically is cross-contamination, meaning the infected individual sleeps with someone else who sleeps with someone else. Saying you are less likely to catch an STI from someone who has slept with less people is like saying you can't someone pregnant with one sexual encounter.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 68
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/23/2018 2:55:17 AM
It is worst if the man has slept with a lot and if your relationship is not monagamous/fwb type situation or poly and if drinking or drugs are involved. Even worse if the guy is bi and its fwb or if he is gay (worse for other guys that is).
The avg sexual partners for gay men is 10x higher than straight men and women's avg.
Men don't get tested as much as women and stds are more damaging to women. Gono can make them infertile.
So like in a clubbing type scenario where alco and maybe drugs are involved and it's with someone unknown is very high risk for both stds and personal safety.
And fwb where you know them but they sleep with other people, also high risk.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 69
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/23/2018 7:11:16 AM

Hemingway has a point. The higher the number, the more high-risk they are. By high-risk I mean, a higher-risk to my sexual health. When you sleep with someone, especially if it's unprotected (and we all know condoms are not the ultimate safeguard to STIs), you are exposing yourself to not only them but whoever they had sex with in the past. Of course there may be those anomalies such as a virgin who caught something the first time he/she had sex but generally that's not the case.

His point might be correct when all other factors are equal. But that isn't always necessarily the case. Suppose woman A had 5 sex partners, often didn't use condoms and was an IV user. Woman B had 10 sex partners and regularly used condoms. Sure it's possible I could get a STD from both women. But I would be vary about having sex with woman A.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 70
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/23/2018 11:03:23 AM

did u miss the part where there are 60 million more men on this planet....
so yeah....that 1:1 ratio is definitely skewed a little...

In US/Canada and western Europe -- it's 1:1. 60 million is about 1% of the world's population, so if you include foreign places like that, as if everyone intermingles -- sure, you'd have a 1% difference. But guess what? Ready? If there's more men, which gender would have the Lower average? Ready? The one with a higher #. Basic arithmetic. Men. :)

But to be fair, overall, it's about 1:1. Sure, you can go to some circles, especially after a War, where there's more women than men (higher average for men, lower for women) -- or as you point out, in low-rent countries, higher # of men than women (lower average for men).

funny thing is.....my life is math....I get paid to do math...I am known as "the human calculator" amongst my friends and family....
and until you can show me exact proof of how many sexual partners that every person on this planet has had and I can do the math myself.....I will continue to hold to my disagreement with your personal "theory" of averages.

You're not a human calculator. Well, maybe you Are really good at math. It only shows how emotion gets in the way. If you know numbers, you'd know that more men = lower average for the male gender VS women. You'd also know that on an "island" of the same amount of men & women -- no matter how you slice it & dice it on who sleeps with who -- the average for each gender is going to be The Same. It's not a theory of averages. It's basic. Common Sense. I already proved it -- go ahead and play with the #s. You're going to get the same average for each gender when there's a 1:1 ratio of men & women!

If I wasn't bringing up sleeping together -- but, say, holding hands -- you wouldn't argue with me that in places where there's roughly a 1:1 ratio of men & women, yes, the average # of women's hands a guy has held will be the same as vice versa. But you factor in this Myth that men SLEPT with more women than women have slept with men, as we're assumed / been told, when there's ~1:1 ratio, it becomes more difficult. Denial. Stubbornness to say No-that-cant-be-true, and refusal to see basic 6th-grade math facts staring ya right in front of ya. :)
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 71
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/23/2018 11:46:00 AM
No because not everyone has sex. Some also have it with more partners than others
In Aus men had avg 18 sex partners in the past and females had 8.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 72
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/23/2018 11:56:45 AM

No because not everyone has sex. Some also have it with more partners than others
In Aus men had avg 18 sex partners in the past and females had 8.

Read my reply in your other thread pointing this out. Those survey results cannot be true. Well, I guess by super-low-chance of bad luck choosing the 20k people they called upon. Equal men & women = equal # of the opposite sex they held hands with, kissed, or porked. Can't have one's # go up without the other. It's not "but I enjoyed it" nor "who initiated it".
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 73
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/23/2018 12:35:21 PM
That is the averaging fallacy. Men modally have more partners. Consider 10 monogamous couples in which most females have little partners but the males have more
W: 10, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1
M: 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1
The mode Men = 2, the mode Women = 1, Avg 1.9
If the averaging fallacy were true, it would have enormous significance for evolution because it would mean that there could be no variance of reproductive success between the sexes: in other words, contrary to the actual case, males and females would averagely have the same number of offspring. Furthermore, you can see the modal number of partners in the anatomy of ourselves and our near relatives. Humans have similar sexual dimorphics to gorillas with small testes. They basically have harems of females and guaranteed reproductive success and not much competition.
https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-imprinted-brain/201703/it-s-the-mode-men-have-more-sex-partners%3famp
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 74
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/23/2018 2:06:21 PM

W: 10, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1
M: 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1
The mode Men = 2, the mode Women = 1, Avg 1.9

Yes. The average is the same (1.9). As that article points out -- the average IS the same for men & women. Okay, so both agree on that. Glad we got that cleared up. That's all I was saying, and I was correct -- as that article points out -- it'll be roughly the same (as there's roughly the same men & women).

Now with "mode" -- or "most common #" -- yes, that Can still Differ.

But wait -- how would you know the most common #? Oh, surveys, right? Okay. What's a good test to the accuracy of surveys? The average. Because they Should be ~same for each gender. So the further off from Even the average is, the less you should trust your overall results to base Anything off of.

But I'm glad you cleared up your POV. Men & women's average # is the same of the opp-sex they slept with. The most Common # found within one gender certainly can be different, of course.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 75
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/23/2018 10:45:26 PM
I would much rather throw out the outliers in this. There are a lot of men who have never had sex or at most only one or two partners. But there are many many who have had sex with a high number of partners. And there are more men that are virgins than women. One major American study discovered 2% of women and 5% of men were virgins at age 25 to 45. So male virgins definitely outnumber female virgins. If we threw out all the virgins from this study the averages would definitely differ. Just like if we threw put all persons who slept with over 200 people. I'd be much more interested in the mean number. According to the 2010 Health Survey for England, the mean number of sexual partners is 9.3 for men and 4.7 for women. However, the 2013 National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal) found the mean to be 11.7 for men and 7.7 for women.

ttps://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/all-about-sex/201106/are-there-really-40-year-old-
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 76
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/24/2018 4:39:30 AM
Emotions have nothing to do with my beliefs.....
but reality does...
and like I said before.....until we have a true and accurate count of exactly how many sexual partners every person has had....
it is still just a guess on what the average is.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 77
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/24/2018 5:33:37 AM
Check my new thread in dating experiences section. I created one purely for this topic lol.
Fact is men generally sleep with about double the partners than women.
I'm only posting so much about yhis because derogatory comments were made about women "having orgies and 1NS" and being "used up yet expecting men to want them still".

When this is hypocrisy because men are the "used up" ones, in actual fact. They sleep literally double the people women do.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 78
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/24/2018 6:40:24 AM
I doubt we will know the real numbers about average sex partners. These studies are rough estimates based on a certain sample size and/or segment of the population. Not necessarily the gospel.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 79
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/24/2018 11:42:44 AM
I did reply on your thread with the misleading title, SBear. :) Even the author in that article pointed out it's questionable, since the average is supposed to be the same, hence, getting a common # is going to be skewed too. The average # is double -- which should not be the case.

I doubt we will know the real numbers about average sex partners. These studies are rough estimates based on a certain sample size and/or segment of the population. Not necessarily the gospel.

The average Should Be roughly Equal, since there's a 1:1 ratio in the western world. It's the litmus test on these surveys, to see how accurate it is. Problem is, the average # for men, and the average # for women is Too Different in most surveys -- that British one S-Bear alludes to, included. It's double -- which is Not true. Hence, if you wanted to find other info -- like the most Common # for each men & women, you're feeding off erroneous data.

I would much rather throw out the outliers in this. There are a lot of men who have never had sex or at most only one or two partners. But there are many many who have had sex with a high number of partners. And there are more men that are virgins than women.

There's "a lot" of every category when you're talking about huge western world populations one would be surveying. More virgin men (to women) than virgin women (to men)? I think that would be a more Accurate survey, unlike how many people of opp-sex did you have intercourse with. "Did you ever have vaginal intercourse with the opp-sex, ever?" would get more accurate results. It's an all-or-nothing. Nothing to exaggerate high or low.

I'd be much more interested in the mean number. According to the 2010 Health Survey for England, the mean number of sexual partners is 9.3 for men and 4.7 for women.

But that's inaccurate, though. Not my opinion, it's just basic fact. I mean, it's accurate of what was surveyed, but that's not true. Mean = Average. The average # of men that women held hands with = the average # of women that men held hands with. Same goes for vaginal intercourse, kissing, & high-fiving the opp-sex when there's a 1:1 ratio of men & women. It will be basically the same if it's basically a 1:1 ratio (like by decimals).
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 80
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Lack of sexual experience. It is a turn off?
Posted: 9/24/2018 1:53:45 PM
doesn't matter if the ratio is 1:1....
there is absolutely no proof to show that the average number of sexual partners for both genders is equal..
Not when every survey/study shows men have higher numbers than women...
yes.....these are just a small sample of the population....
but the trend is the same in every study....

You can spout your 1:1 ratio all day long.....it doesn't mean squat....and...
it will never undo the actual proven numbers that have been gathered in hundreds upon hundreds of studies....
and that is men have more sexual partners than women.

You want to say our "emotions" are leading us....
I will say.....your one sided focus on the number of each gender in the world is misleading you...
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