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 AUTHOR
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 88
Serial daters on this sitePage 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
The OP has long since left POF...
I can't imagine the horrors of people on the internet who aren't who they say they are, I mean, who does that??

... sad, I was going to tell her that I have $50million that I'm inheriting, but I need her help to get it out of the Royal Bank of Nigeria, some lawyers fees and hiring an armored car and guards to transfer the cash, and if she'll just send me $1000 to help get things rolling I'll cut her in for $5million of it...
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 89
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 4/25/2014 8:37:22 PM
Online dating is filled with serial daters. One of the big pratfalls. Unable to make a commitment in a healthy long term relationship, they are just out for sex with multiple partners for years. In some ways, online dating seems to be geared up for just that...hook ups. To many people, it's an easy way to get sex without any hassle.
Another reason I gave up on it-it's like a digital way to find cheap or free prostitutes. A lazy person's way to select, like a supermarket, the next best thing.

Really, it's online prostitution, under the guise of lets go out for dinner, etc..like it's an actual date. In many cases, people are just looking to get laid, and will say anything to reel you in to accomplish their goal.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 90
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 4/25/2014 8:48:47 PM
^ I just can't help reading that VK... just out for their own gain and will say anything to accomplish their goal...

... and thinking there's a lot of future politicians on POF.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 91
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 4/26/2014 5:17:22 AM
What's the difference between serial dating and dating more than one person in the hope of finding The One-Mr./Miss Perfect For Me? It sounds like a lot of women would love to see a law passed where a first meet/date must lead to immediate marriage, and men must bring a person with them to officiate a wedding, along with a diamond ring and wedding band on a first coffee meet.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 92
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 4/26/2014 9:07:55 AM
I guess I could be called a serial dater, but I'm really not doing it because I enjoy dating. It's just that most first dates don't lead to more (mostly I'm not interested, sometimes the guy isn't). I have taken down my profile several times because I thought I met someone who would actually want a real relationship, only to find out that they weren't quite done looking (even though they claimed they were only interested in or talking to me - RIGHT). Or things just didn't work out for whatever reason, and I put my profile back up. So until I've met someone who is on the same page as me, I'll be on this and other sites, looking for that special guy. Maybe tonight's date will be game changer.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 93
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Serial daters on this site
Posted: 4/26/2014 12:30:08 PM
I've said it before and apparently again. Majority of ladies on this site can in theory get almost 1 free meal a day many times. At least those deemed 5's and above. Enough solicitation comes your way, that many could save money serial dating. In big cities can get away with it without exactly meeting the same guy twice. Just make sure it's at a public place and you can safely get to and from your ride home.
 Redspice66
Joined: 4/14/2010
Msg: 94
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 4/26/2014 2:17:48 PM
I've been going through that too, apparently most men feel like they are in a candy store in this site and want to sample everything and not date just 1 woman. I've been keeping my options open, don't believe I will get a bf on this site but hopefully a nice man to date. That's asking to much here I see so far.
 Redspice66
Joined: 4/14/2010
Msg: 95
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 4/26/2014 2:22:06 PM
I've been on this site a while too but that doesn't mean I'm a a serial dater. I don't go to bars and I work alot. It's not easy to meet people and going out gets expensive. Just trying to meet a nice guy to date and who knows but the men lately here not all just want a FWB or 1 night stand.
 Sonic98
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 96
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History
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 5/2/2014 10:36:03 AM
I've been on and off for years. Often times I won't check POF as often as I check other sites, and all my messages will be deleted, or I just won't get back on for a while. But I eventually check back in time, and see what is going on. We all go through periods of being single and not being single, so POF is just another way of getting back into the dating pool.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 97
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 5/2/2014 9:25:33 PM
A perfectly timed mutual oxytocin release is next to impossible in one date yet we're all hoping...:)
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 98
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 5/3/2014 3:56:53 PM
I think there is a lot of "sour grapes" going on in here. Insecure people lashing out at others who have a different point of view. Dishonesty and manipulative behaviour is disgusting whether it's a man or a woman but this whole "serial dater" business is just confusing.

Is it like a serial killer? So they date one person and then move onto date another straight away? Or is this about some polyamorist who dates multiple people at the same time?

In either case, honesty makes all the difference in the world. Ask your grandma about it, people used to think limiting yourself by spending too much time with one person was insane. Dating is about socializing and meeting people, it's not about making everlasting promises to someone before you've even met them.

Only when you have met someone that you can really connect with does the word "relationship" even enter into it. Up until that point, you are just dating. I remember Archie comic books, he dated Betty and Veronica and everyone knew all about it. No one was lied to and Archie wasn't portrayed as some dirtbag. In college, I had two girlfriends who knew about each other...one blonde and one brunette, interestingly enough. The difference between a comic book and real life though is that people will say they can handle something when that isn't necessarily true. My "Archie experience" turned out to be a mistake which I wouldn't care to try again but none of us did anything "wrong". It's just too much for most people to handle...probably for good reason.

As for serial dating, as in dating in a series, what exactly are some folks suggesting? When dating you doesn't work out, the other person is supposed to commit suicide or something? Of course they will find someone else to date. I'd rather date a "serial dater" than someone who has been married four or more times.

My guess is that it's this lazy, selfish "soulmate" nonsense that is to blame. Like all of your dreams can come true with the click of your left-mouse-button? People are people and healthy relationships always require effort from all involved. Finding someone worth spending my life with takes time and effort, which means dating women is mandatory. I'm not going to put a golden ring on a woman's finger simply because she wants one. She has to be the right one for me and I can only figure that out by getting to know her in real life.

From what I can see, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of dating in online dating anymore. It's more like an endless assembly line of rejection and shallow judgements. I'll meet someone who rocks my world eventually. That probably won't happen online though. Lucky for me, I'm not desperate and needy so I'll just try my best to enjoy my life in the meantime.
 SpittyKitty
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 99
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 5/4/2014 5:00:37 PM

I have started enjoying meeting the weird ones. It's become some kind of sick adventure for me.

Ha ha! That is soo funny! BHill.
But like confident realist, I am sure that all jokes aside, his gameball approach makes sense.
"Parallel dating" instead of serial dating mentioned is also a cute way of putting realism back into serial dating with some humor.
I forget how funny the forums are....that's why I must keep coming back for more.
Hmmm....kind of like my coming back for more pof dating "games".
 KYYSS
Joined: 11/6/2013
Msg: 100
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 5/5/2014 2:20:20 PM
YES, THERE IS SOMETHING THEY COULD DO:


POF could have people who moderate the site and APPROVE profiles before they are posted, that's what they can do.

Any changes to a profile, would have to be approved before it goes live.

That alone would stop a TON of nonsense. Not all of it, but a lot of it, and if there were better moderation, posers would maybe go elsewhere.

Anyone can create an account and put up whatever nonsense they want. We can report it, and the profile disappears only to reappear a day later.


I'm not the profile police, but just in normal, everyday use of the site, it's easy to spot a LOT of stupid profiles.

Nonsense profiles, liar profiles, phony photo profiles, men who post photos of movie stars, cartoons and car pictures instead of THEMSELVES.

Men who are 30 looking for older women, but posting their age as '55' so they turn up in older women's time lines.

A little more POF moderation would stop a lot of this. It wouldn't stop liars and cheaters but it would stop waste of space profiles, junk profiles, the not so serious, or at least it would weed out a lot of them, which would make me happy.
 PrettyBr0wneyed1
Joined: 8/29/2013
Msg: 102
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 5/14/2014 12:04:24 PM
It's a free site and with that comes a mix of everything. I think that can be on any site. I know I've returned back to this site and one other one after I've stopped dating someone. Online sites have become the norm, so I think it's fairly common to possibly see someone you may have once went out with or dated. I think as long as both parties keep it moving and don't cause any nonsense there shouldn't be any issues.
 Sonic98
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 103
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Serial daters on this site
Posted: 5/29/2014 9:13:16 AM
I've run into a lot of women on this site and others who re-create their profile multiple times. I'm sure men do it to. I don't see anything wrong with it. Most of the ones I've seen are not pretending they're all the sudden here for the first time. Even if some guy wants to re-create his profile because he message someone in the past who was looking for intimate encounter without really reading over her profile, I don't have a problem with it. In some ways what does it matter anyway? The people who remember you are going to know it's you, and people you've never talked to won't know the difference between your old and new profile. Plus, people are going to lie about what they're looking for on here whether they're new or have been on here a while.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 104
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 6/23/2014 5:11:45 PM
^^^This is probably one of the very worst things about POF in my mind: there is no vision, it's confused and unclear about what it wants to be.

On the one hand, you have Markus, the holy roller who wants to appease the finger-wagging soccer moms by adding filters and offering various ways to "track" the movements of other members, etc.

Then you have the PUAs who can easily bypass any filters, side-step any tracking efforts, lie and cheat and change their profiles multiple times each day if they choose to, etc. There is never any feedback and any effort to so much as mention what another member does in here will get the person banned.

In the end, all you get are women lulled into a sense of false security, being thrown to the very "wolves" they are desperately trying to protect themselves from.

Honesty is a punishable offence in POF land.

All of this could be easily avoided by tying the account to the person and making all of their edits visible for as long as the account is active. Adding a forum thread where people could discuss their real-life meetings, so all members could see what is being written about them and would have the chance to address the comments, would be a massive improvement as well. Tie those comments and responses to the usernames involved for an easy, quick reference tool. Chances are such a thing would be ruined by liars and manipulators but it would beat nothing at all...total silence only benefits those who are already skulking in the shadows.

Here's one none of you will like...how about displaying everything we write on our profile page? Or how about "Who is So-and-so Talking To"? Wouldn't that tell you exactly what you need to know in an instant? I wonder why something like that will never happen?

I'd even volunteer to be the first one.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 105
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 6/23/2014 6:07:11 PM

Posted by AddHomonym:
"Here's one none of you will like...how about displaying everything we write on our profile page?
Or how about "Who is So-and-so Talking To"? Wouldn't that tell you exactly what you need to know in an instant?
I wonder why something like that will never happen?"


* Our posts on POF Forums used to be linked under our dating profiles, so that has been explored.
* POF would never share who-is-talking-to-whom because it is a privacy issue...as it should be.
* The reason it would never happen is because people cherish reasonable privacy. That's why private correspondence is not written on postcards and sent through the mail for everyone and his brother to read.
 OpalescentCloud
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 106
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 1:40:38 AM

YES, THERE IS SOMETHING THEY COULD DO:


POF could have people who moderate the site and APPROVE profiles before they are posted, that's what they can do.

Any changes to a profile, would have to be approved before it goes live.

That alone would stop a TON of nonsense. Not all of it, but a lot of it, and if there were better moderation, posers would maybe go elsewhere.

Anyone can create an account and put up whatever nonsense they want. We can report it, and the profile disappears only to reappear a day later.


I'm not the profile police, but just in normal, everyday use of the site, it's easy to spot a LOT of stupid profiles.

Nonsense profiles, liar profiles, phony photo profiles, men who post photos of movie stars, cartoons and car pictures instead of THEMSELVES.

Men who are 30 looking for older women, but posting their age as '55' so they turn up in older women's time lines.

A little more POF moderation would stop a lot of this. It wouldn't stop liars and cheaters but it would stop waste of space profiles, junk profiles, the not so serious, or at least it would weed out a lot of them, which would make me happy.


THIS ▲
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 108
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 4:43:28 AM

Most of them are not very good looking, but yet demand that the man is
Most of them are not funny, but yet demand that the man is
Most of them are not successful, but yet demand that the man is


Opposites attract each other.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 109
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 5:00:36 AM
Dravid......

And some guys come on here with the same rants just a different day....different thread!


"But for a lot of women on here, on the date, unless there is angels singing and fireworks and she's practically pee-ing her pants at the guy, she'll brush the guy aside with no more hesistation than she would brush away a street beggar."



So what's the alternative here? Would you prefer a woman continue dating a man that she feels no chemistry for just because he checks all the boxes?

I for one, would not want a man to continue dating me if he knew that he didn't feel that something extra for me.....but everyone is different :)



And this?



"The sad irony is that most of the women who have been on here a long time and a lot who have been on here only a short time are demanding things that they do not have themselvesMost of them are not very good looking, but yet demand that the man isMost of them are not funny, but yet demand that the man isMost of them are not successful, but yet demand that the man is"



That is only YOUR opinion and perception of them........Guess what? They ( like most men and women on here) are looking for the ONE that does find them attractive, funny and succesful that they find MUTUALLY (key word here) attractive, funny, and successful!
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 111
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 10:28:09 AM
Dravidc, first of all, you are a very handsome guy, you shouldn't have any problems getting dates. About what you wrote, I can say the same thing about the men who date online. This site not so much, but on Match.com, almost every guy that contacts me is way older, not in shape, not attractive, and has nothing in common with me. Yet they think that I should be attracted to them. These guys have a long laundry list of what they want in a woman. Mostly way younger than them - I mean 20-30 years younger than they are, yet they won't even consider women within five years of their own range, even though many of them don't want any more children. Why would a young fertile woman want to be with an old man who doesn't even want kids anymore? So when one of these entitled old guys contact me, I also wonder what the heck they think they can offer me. Some of them even act as if they are doing me, being an old, over the hill hag, a favor by asking me out. Sometimes I think I"m in the twilight zone.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 4:48:47 PM
OP, I have been on here for years, but does that make me a serial dater? Me not think so......... I've never gotten a date yet. Besides, I gave up trying to do that years ago anyway. I just come here to the forums to spread a little hate and discontent now and again..........
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 113
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 7:28:51 PM
So what's the alternative here? Would you prefer a woman continue dating a man that she feels no chemistry for just because he checks all the boxes?

I for one, would not want a man to continue dating me if he knew that he didn't feel that something extra for me.....but everyone is different :)


Many times there isn't instant chemistry on a first date / meeting with someone from a dating site because 2 people are virtually strangers. Or because at least one person is somewhat nervous, shy, or guarded at first. Provided that there is some physical attraction and no clear dealbreakers, I would consider going out on 1-2 more dates. Sometimes chemistry can ( not always ) develop over time as 2 people get to know each other better. If the chemistry doesn't improve, then move on. I'm not suggesting people should have a LTR without any chemistry.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 114
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 7:40:20 PM
What do the dating Gods specify as the minimum number of dates required to be a bonafide serial dater? There are a lot of people here who are cookoo for cocoPOF's who think if you go on one date with someone, a marriage proposal should be on the agenda for date two, and if not, you're a player and serial dater. If you go on a lot of dates and no one turns your crank to make you think "I found the One", what is wrong with keep on looking, no matter how many dates that will take? If you take it literally, every person is a serial dater until they find "The One". That may take one date or going on a thousand dates with a thousand people. In both cases, the agenda may be the same, but the process is skewed by a number of variables.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 116
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/3/2014 10:15:10 AM
DravidC, I know I'm not a super model and middle aged, but I still won't date a guy who is grossly out of shape and 15 years older. Your little insults don't faze me, I know my worth and I am talking to several very nice, handsome guys right now. So nice try, but I'm not all deflated now after your attacks, lol. Oh, and I know that these guys I complained about have laundry lists, because they state them in their profiles. I look good, no matter what YOU say, I own my own house and car, have a great, stable career, I'm educated and well traveled. So I do have quite a bit going on for me, which is not what I can say about a lot of the guys who feel entitled to get hot young models who are "drama free". I know my limits, I'm not looking for nor could I get a hot, young millionaire, even though I do get quite a few messages from hot young guys with average jobs. I'm pretty realistic about "my market value", all I ask is for someone healthy (like me), in shape (like me), with a decent job (like me), about as attractive as I am (and I've dated men who were not as attractive, but I still liked them). A lot of guys my age are NOT realistic about themselves - go read some men's profiles and report back.
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