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 OpalescentCloud
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 106
Serial daters on this sitePage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

YES, THERE IS SOMETHING THEY COULD DO:


POF could have people who moderate the site and APPROVE profiles before they are posted, that's what they can do.

Any changes to a profile, would have to be approved before it goes live.

That alone would stop a TON of nonsense. Not all of it, but a lot of it, and if there were better moderation, posers would maybe go elsewhere.

Anyone can create an account and put up whatever nonsense they want. We can report it, and the profile disappears only to reappear a day later.


I'm not the profile police, but just in normal, everyday use of the site, it's easy to spot a LOT of stupid profiles.

Nonsense profiles, liar profiles, phony photo profiles, men who post photos of movie stars, cartoons and car pictures instead of THEMSELVES.

Men who are 30 looking for older women, but posting their age as '55' so they turn up in older women's time lines.

A little more POF moderation would stop a lot of this. It wouldn't stop liars and cheaters but it would stop waste of space profiles, junk profiles, the not so serious, or at least it would weed out a lot of them, which would make me happy.


THIS ▲
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 108
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 4:43:28 AM

Most of them are not very good looking, but yet demand that the man is
Most of them are not funny, but yet demand that the man is
Most of them are not successful, but yet demand that the man is


Opposites attract each other.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 109
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 5:00:36 AM
Dravid......

And some guys come on here with the same rants just a different day....different thread!


"But for a lot of women on here, on the date, unless there is angels singing and fireworks and she's practically pee-ing her pants at the guy, she'll brush the guy aside with no more hesistation than she would brush away a street beggar."



So what's the alternative here? Would you prefer a woman continue dating a man that she feels no chemistry for just because he checks all the boxes?

I for one, would not want a man to continue dating me if he knew that he didn't feel that something extra for me.....but everyone is different :)



And this?



"The sad irony is that most of the women who have been on here a long time and a lot who have been on here only a short time are demanding things that they do not have themselvesMost of them are not very good looking, but yet demand that the man isMost of them are not funny, but yet demand that the man isMost of them are not successful, but yet demand that the man is"



That is only YOUR opinion and perception of them........Guess what? They ( like most men and women on here) are looking for the ONE that does find them attractive, funny and succesful that they find MUTUALLY (key word here) attractive, funny, and successful!
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 111
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 10:28:09 AM
Dravidc, first of all, you are a very handsome guy, you shouldn't have any problems getting dates. About what you wrote, I can say the same thing about the men who date online. This site not so much, but on Match.com, almost every guy that contacts me is way older, not in shape, not attractive, and has nothing in common with me. Yet they think that I should be attracted to them. These guys have a long laundry list of what they want in a woman. Mostly way younger than them - I mean 20-30 years younger than they are, yet they won't even consider women within five years of their own range, even though many of them don't want any more children. Why would a young fertile woman want to be with an old man who doesn't even want kids anymore? So when one of these entitled old guys contact me, I also wonder what the heck they think they can offer me. Some of them even act as if they are doing me, being an old, over the hill hag, a favor by asking me out. Sometimes I think I"m in the twilight zone.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 4:48:47 PM
OP, I have been on here for years, but does that make me a serial dater? Me not think so......... I've never gotten a date yet. Besides, I gave up trying to do that years ago anyway. I just come here to the forums to spread a little hate and discontent now and again..........
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 113
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 7:28:51 PM
So what's the alternative here? Would you prefer a woman continue dating a man that she feels no chemistry for just because he checks all the boxes?

I for one, would not want a man to continue dating me if he knew that he didn't feel that something extra for me.....but everyone is different :)


Many times there isn't instant chemistry on a first date / meeting with someone from a dating site because 2 people are virtually strangers. Or because at least one person is somewhat nervous, shy, or guarded at first. Provided that there is some physical attraction and no clear dealbreakers, I would consider going out on 1-2 more dates. Sometimes chemistry can ( not always ) develop over time as 2 people get to know each other better. If the chemistry doesn't improve, then move on. I'm not suggesting people should have a LTR without any chemistry.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 114
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/2/2014 7:40:20 PM
What do the dating Gods specify as the minimum number of dates required to be a bonafide serial dater? There are a lot of people here who are cookoo for cocoPOF's who think if you go on one date with someone, a marriage proposal should be on the agenda for date two, and if not, you're a player and serial dater. If you go on a lot of dates and no one turns your crank to make you think "I found the One", what is wrong with keep on looking, no matter how many dates that will take? If you take it literally, every person is a serial dater until they find "The One". That may take one date or going on a thousand dates with a thousand people. In both cases, the agenda may be the same, but the process is skewed by a number of variables.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 116
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/3/2014 10:15:10 AM
DravidC, I know I'm not a super model and middle aged, but I still won't date a guy who is grossly out of shape and 15 years older. Your little insults don't faze me, I know my worth and I am talking to several very nice, handsome guys right now. So nice try, but I'm not all deflated now after your attacks, lol. Oh, and I know that these guys I complained about have laundry lists, because they state them in their profiles. I look good, no matter what YOU say, I own my own house and car, have a great, stable career, I'm educated and well traveled. So I do have quite a bit going on for me, which is not what I can say about a lot of the guys who feel entitled to get hot young models who are "drama free". I know my limits, I'm not looking for nor could I get a hot, young millionaire, even though I do get quite a few messages from hot young guys with average jobs. I'm pretty realistic about "my market value", all I ask is for someone healthy (like me), in shape (like me), with a decent job (like me), about as attractive as I am (and I've dated men who were not as attractive, but I still liked them). A lot of guys my age are NOT realistic about themselves - go read some men's profiles and report back.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 118
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/4/2014 8:34:25 PM
If you were to poll a thousand men in here they'd rate you as average or below


I don't care what a thousand men think. Thank Goodness people have different tastes and preferences. I don't want to date a thousand men, and I get enough messages and dates to keep me busy from guys who think I'm very attractive. I only care what the men I like think about me, and they think I"m beautiful. That is all that matters to me. Kind of glad I'm not drop dead gorgeous, because then I would get even more attention than I could handle. And BTW, I don't wear any makeup in my pics, did not do anything special to my hair, nothing was photoshopped or air brushed. Supermodels don't look so hot without makeup and bad lighting either, just saying. So given that my pics are mostly selfies, with me just hanging around without makeup, I;d say I do pretty well. If I couldn't get enough dates, I might put some more effort into my pics, but I have not found it necessary at all. So sorry :-)


Right but I'd bet you'd date some man that is seriously in shape and 15 years younger than you. Yeah ?


Of course I would, who wouldn't? Would an ugly guy turn down if a hot woman asked them out? The difference is, I don't approach these guys, they approach me. I would never approach someone who is way better looking than I am because - unlike many guys - I know my limits. But ugly guys don't stop from messaging women way out of their league and think they are it, when they are not. And before you lash out again that I'm not it either (in your opinion), all I can say again, I don't approach guys, they come to me, so they must find me attractive.


Maybe you but you'll just be F**K and CHUCK material


LOL, ok, I have not noticed that because I don't have sex right off the bat unless I just want to get laid. I've dated guys who did not push for sex at all, and even gotten a few proposal and declarations of love. So what was that all about? But spare me a responses- I"m too busy this weekend going on dates and having fun :-) Happy 4th.
 Grl_next_door
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 120
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/5/2014 5:17:58 AM
Dravid, I'm embarassed for you and your ugly comments. Are you even aware that YOU would not make the short list for a lot of women?
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 121
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/5/2014 10:11:22 AM
LOL, ok, whatever, hope you feel better after spewing your poison. You sound like a real winner and bitter. No wonder YOU have to be on a dating website because apparently you can't even get ugly women with that attitude.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 122
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/5/2014 11:00:21 AM
"I would never approach someone who is way better looking than I am because - unlike many guys - I know my limits. But ugly guys don't stop from messaging women way out of their league and think they are it, when they are not. "

I will only reply to the above quote and the rest of this posters posts and the other posters posts to her I will not even get into the middle of.

For me, if I enjoy a womans looks and her written profile, I will email her. I am not thinking what "league" I should be in or should not be in. Whose call is that? No ones! If someone feels that everyone should bow down and reply to them and be interested, then yes, that is BS and wrong and so on. But am I going to limit who I email because I am not in their "league"? Hell, if we start talking, she may not be in my "league" but the point I am making is you never know until you try and if a person is not a conceited p rick or a conceited b itch, then if there is no interest, you move on and it just can't be taken personally. We get a glimpse of a person on a computer and go from there, it is what it is.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Are there serial daters? Of course there are but for me, if we start talking, I can usually tell pretty quickly and if that is the case, good luck to them in their serial dating. For me, I am looking for more. Big difference in a serial dater and one that is dating and still trying to find the one.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 124
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 1:00:28 PM

But ugly guys don't stop from messaging women way out of their league and think they are it, when they are not. And before you lash out again that I'm not it either (in your opinion), all I can say again, I don't approach guys, they come to me, so they must find me attractive.


Not to become a jerk, but try polling guys. see how many have aimed low in the sake of getting laid.

It's no secret. If me and some ripped guy with hardly any body fat both asked you out, without knowing us, you'd pick the ripped guy almost every time. But why does that guy want you? Is he genuinely interested, or does he know that because of how he looks, you'll be an easy lay?

I'm only chiming in on this because it's something I've questioned before... Why is it OK to expect a guy that's not in shape to not message you, but it's OK to expect a guy that is in shape to do it? What makes any one of us so special that we can make that demand? That we can actually say "If you're ugly, don't talk to me"?

And that's where the little fight between you two came from. Why do you deserve a guy in shape and attractive? Why should any one of them be truly attracted to you?

You mention that they're messaging you, but back to the first question I asked, is it because they think you're hot, or because they know you'll think they're hot?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 125
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 1:14:53 PM
why is it OK for a woman to want a hot guy? its the same reason we might blast some stranger we met on a forum post back into the StoneAge:

b/c it feels good to us.

aruging with an attractive woman why what feels good to her is wrong, and she needs to see our side of things...ain't gonna do anything but get your more ticked off when she fails to see what feels good to her as something wrong. she's gonna argue her side, and you will argue your's....when you could have gone out and done something fun in that time.

or at the very least, you could have avoided making yourself unattractive to women, by targeting one and calling her not very attractive. you won't attract women by making them unsure of their safety around you. they'll always wait for the day you attack them.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 126
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 1:41:20 PM
There's plenty of "lifers" on these sites. Almost everyone I went out with, over 90% of them actually, are still out there actively lookin'. That was five years ago. And they all have the same photos as well. Dun dun dunnnnnnnn..... I call them the "career daters."

I dont think there's anything wrong with this as long as you are clear about your actual intentions...what I dont dig are those who told me they really are looking for a relationship, and then I find out later they troll CL and multiple other sites for hook ups, and are not interested in a relationship after all, just serial one night stands.

I am suspicious of those who say in their profiles "I'm new to this" or "I'm new to online dating" or "I don't really get online dating." Maybe it's true, they are new and dont get it. But after all the lies, it's hard to not at least wonder if it's code for "I've been here for ten years and just use this site to get laid."

:D
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 127
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 2:17:40 PM
msg 126 - nowhere did I ever say that I DESERVE a hot guy to be attracted to me. I know it takes two for that, but at the same time, I'm not at all interested in someone who is not in shape and clearly not a match for me. I delete and block people that I'm not interested in, no big deal. I don't throw hissy fits that certain guys I like don't respond or contact me, I just wait for someone to write to me who I find attractive, or more often than not, after looking at an attractive guy's profile, they write to me. Happens to me every day. Do all of them end in a date? No, of course not, and that's fine with me. Again, I don't DESERVE anyone, but I only want to date someone I'm attracted to, and I have, many times. The day I no longer have that option I might consider lowering my standards or I might just stop dating.

If they are "aiming low" because I'm hideous in their mind, well, I doubt they would go through a lot of trouble for someone they are not attracted to and just want an easy lay - because I don't work that way. I know how to weed them out pretty well by now. I have plenty of guys doing drive-by-hit-ons and I delete and block them. No problem.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 128
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 3:05:21 PM

Again, I don't DESERVE anyone, but I only want to date someone I'm attracted to, and I have, many times.


And this is where so many guys get so worked up. I haven't seen you do it personally, but there tends to be this common trend that the advice given to guys is that we either have to change our entire personality and lifestyle, or aim lower, but it's OK for the woman to just sit back and only take the best.

It's why should the fit girl want to date the fat slob, but no question at all to why the fit guy should want to date the fit girl. There is somewhat of a double standard there.

The fat guy is aiming way out of his league, but you're being smart and being free to not date what you're not attracted to.

We just don't look at it the same when it's coming from a girl instead of a guy.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 129
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 3:37:10 PM
"there tends to be this common trend that the advice given to guys is that we either have to change our entire personality and lifestyle, or aim lower, but it's OK for the woman to just sit back and only take the best."


This tends to be the advice when someone is complaining that they can't get a date, message, relationship or whatever.


I say......don't lower your standards.....but God Bless America......quit your wussing and complaining about it!


As my 4 yr old niece would say....." You get what you get.....and don't get upset!" :)
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 130
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 7:56:02 PM

It's why should the fit girl want to date the fat slob, but no question at all to why the fit guy should want to date the fit girl. There is somewhat of a double standard there.


I don't think the fit guy should have to settle for a fat girl unless it's something he's into. Same goes the other way around. I just don't get when AVERAGE guys aim for super fit, attractive girls - not balanced. In my experience, women are a lot more forgiving about a guy's appearance than vice versa. I've met up with guys who were not in shape AT ALL and who told me that they're glad I look like my pics because all they'd met so far were "fat chicks". WTF? Double standard much? You're not a woman, you don't see the messages I and others get from guys that are not at all on our level and who get angry and insulting when we don't trip over ourselves to go out with them.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 132
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/7/2014 7:53:32 PM

In my experience, women are a lot more forgiving about a guy's appearance than vice versa.


Not necessarily. In general, women care more about height than men do. IMO the biggest difference is some women will date a man that they aren't that physical attracted to because he is rich or powerful.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 133
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/7/2014 10:10:11 PM
UHm, news flash, I am well aware that guys will have sex with a pig if they have to. Pretty sure I'm not a pig, but I'm also aware that there are plenty of younger, hotter women out there. BUT....these younger, hotter women ALSO have the cream of the crop of guys to chose from, not the average Joe with an average job and an average body. And a lot of men do NOT want anymore children if they already have them, and I'm really only interested in men who are done having kids. Bottom line - I know when it's a hook up, and I don't jump into bed with a guy on date one or two either. BTW, two "pump and dump" guys proposed to me, and I turned them down because they were too young. One of them accused me of only using HIM for sex - imagine that. It can go both ways.

Also want to add - I'm fine being called a "serial dater". I'm not hell-bent on finding husband #2 - I was married for 20 years and know what that's all about. And it's not the easiest thing in the world. I also already have kids, so I don't care if my biological clock is winding down. In many ways, I"m glad I'm not in my 20s or 30s anymore, with the clock ticking and trying hard to find someone to marry and have kids with. That's when women get panicky and settle for Mr. Good Enough, and looking at the divorce rates in this country, it's a bad state of mind to be in. I can take my sweet time finding someone I really want, as a companion, not as a sperm donor and wallet. And if that means sampling lots of guys on the way, it's fine with me. I find that the older I get, the less patience and tolerance I have for BS.
 prepgal
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 135
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/19/2014 2:29:23 PM
Obviously I realize that sometimes 2 people aren’t compatible. But I do think there are serial daters. There is a lot of instant gratification out there. Plus some people have the kid in the candy store approach because there are many choices on dating sites.


So what's the alternative here? Would you prefer a woman continue dating a man that she feels no chemistry for just because he checks all the boxes?


At least, she could give it another shot. I wouldn’t have dated some of my previous boyfriends if I had made a decision about them after a 30-45 minute coffee date.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 136
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/20/2014 8:21:54 AM
I was on here way long time ago (late 20s, early 30s) about 20 years ago. The Internet was fairly new as well as online dating. In that time there were also more men available who weren't divorced, now it seems they all are like that and bitter as heck or don't want to do any work at making something happen. Online dating is/was alot nicer when the Internet and you were younger. Now OMG the men are just plain old lazy and believe they are entitled to supermodels when they are a 1 to 4 on the looks scale.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 137
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/20/2014 8:29:45 AM
Dravid: so in what way are you all that, that you can rate others or make snarky comments on them?

Regarding trustinkarma. Actually as a female who can comment on female beauty without craving it, she is above average in looks and takes care of herself. I'm glad she believes she deserves her equal in looks because frankly I deserve it too. When you get to a certain age you have higher standards not only with looks but even more important, the personality of a male(s) you date.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 138
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/20/2014 10:15:28 AM
easterparadehat - thank you, and your comment about men being lazy and expecting to get women way out of their league is spot on. Just yesteday I received messages from 5 different men on Match. All of them were over 55, none of them attractive or in shape, one of them was flaunting his wealth. All of them were looking for women 10-30 years younger than them, but since my age limit was below their age, they critized me for being "narrow minded" and how I should take a chance and date outside my stated age parameters. My age paramenters, by the way, are 30 to 50 on Match, and I'm 44, so I'm willing to go older, whereas all of these guy were not, they ONLY want significantly younger. When I pointed this out to them, they got VERY pissy and defensive, and one of course had to throw an insult at me, something like my husband must have left me for a younger women since I sound so "bitter", lol. For the record, I left my husband, and there was no younger woman involved.

A lot of men really seem to think it is their birth right to get hawt younger women (me included), but somehow we are supposed to overlook their physical shortcomings and are supposed to be OK with them being past their prime.
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