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 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 121
Serial daters on this sitePage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
LOL, ok, whatever, hope you feel better after spewing your poison. You sound like a real winner and bitter. No wonder YOU have to be on a dating website because apparently you can't even get ugly women with that attitude.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 122
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/5/2014 11:00:21 AM
"I would never approach someone who is way better looking than I am because - unlike many guys - I know my limits. But ugly guys don't stop from messaging women way out of their league and think they are it, when they are not. "

I will only reply to the above quote and the rest of this posters posts and the other posters posts to her I will not even get into the middle of.

For me, if I enjoy a womans looks and her written profile, I will email her. I am not thinking what "league" I should be in or should not be in. Whose call is that? No ones! If someone feels that everyone should bow down and reply to them and be interested, then yes, that is BS and wrong and so on. But am I going to limit who I email because I am not in their "league"? Hell, if we start talking, she may not be in my "league" but the point I am making is you never know until you try and if a person is not a conceited p rick or a conceited b itch, then if there is no interest, you move on and it just can't be taken personally. We get a glimpse of a person on a computer and go from there, it is what it is.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Are there serial daters? Of course there are but for me, if we start talking, I can usually tell pretty quickly and if that is the case, good luck to them in their serial dating. For me, I am looking for more. Big difference in a serial dater and one that is dating and still trying to find the one.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 124
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 1:00:28 PM

But ugly guys don't stop from messaging women way out of their league and think they are it, when they are not. And before you lash out again that I'm not it either (in your opinion), all I can say again, I don't approach guys, they come to me, so they must find me attractive.


Not to become a jerk, but try polling guys. see how many have aimed low in the sake of getting laid.

It's no secret. If me and some ripped guy with hardly any body fat both asked you out, without knowing us, you'd pick the ripped guy almost every time. But why does that guy want you? Is he genuinely interested, or does he know that because of how he looks, you'll be an easy lay?

I'm only chiming in on this because it's something I've questioned before... Why is it OK to expect a guy that's not in shape to not message you, but it's OK to expect a guy that is in shape to do it? What makes any one of us so special that we can make that demand? That we can actually say "If you're ugly, don't talk to me"?

And that's where the little fight between you two came from. Why do you deserve a guy in shape and attractive? Why should any one of them be truly attracted to you?

You mention that they're messaging you, but back to the first question I asked, is it because they think you're hot, or because they know you'll think they're hot?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 125
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 1:14:53 PM
why is it OK for a woman to want a hot guy? its the same reason we might blast some stranger we met on a forum post back into the StoneAge:

b/c it feels good to us.

aruging with an attractive woman why what feels good to her is wrong, and she needs to see our side of things...ain't gonna do anything but get your more ticked off when she fails to see what feels good to her as something wrong. she's gonna argue her side, and you will argue your's....when you could have gone out and done something fun in that time.

or at the very least, you could have avoided making yourself unattractive to women, by targeting one and calling her not very attractive. you won't attract women by making them unsure of their safety around you. they'll always wait for the day you attack them.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 126
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 1:41:20 PM
There's plenty of "lifers" on these sites. Almost everyone I went out with, over 90% of them actually, are still out there actively lookin'. That was five years ago. And they all have the same photos as well. Dun dun dunnnnnnnn..... I call them the "career daters."

I dont think there's anything wrong with this as long as you are clear about your actual intentions...what I dont dig are those who told me they really are looking for a relationship, and then I find out later they troll CL and multiple other sites for hook ups, and are not interested in a relationship after all, just serial one night stands.

I am suspicious of those who say in their profiles "I'm new to this" or "I'm new to online dating" or "I don't really get online dating." Maybe it's true, they are new and dont get it. But after all the lies, it's hard to not at least wonder if it's code for "I've been here for ten years and just use this site to get laid."

:D
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 127
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 2:17:40 PM
msg 126 - nowhere did I ever say that I DESERVE a hot guy to be attracted to me. I know it takes two for that, but at the same time, I'm not at all interested in someone who is not in shape and clearly not a match for me. I delete and block people that I'm not interested in, no big deal. I don't throw hissy fits that certain guys I like don't respond or contact me, I just wait for someone to write to me who I find attractive, or more often than not, after looking at an attractive guy's profile, they write to me. Happens to me every day. Do all of them end in a date? No, of course not, and that's fine with me. Again, I don't DESERVE anyone, but I only want to date someone I'm attracted to, and I have, many times. The day I no longer have that option I might consider lowering my standards or I might just stop dating.

If they are "aiming low" because I'm hideous in their mind, well, I doubt they would go through a lot of trouble for someone they are not attracted to and just want an easy lay - because I don't work that way. I know how to weed them out pretty well by now. I have plenty of guys doing drive-by-hit-ons and I delete and block them. No problem.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 128
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 3:05:21 PM

Again, I don't DESERVE anyone, but I only want to date someone I'm attracted to, and I have, many times.


And this is where so many guys get so worked up. I haven't seen you do it personally, but there tends to be this common trend that the advice given to guys is that we either have to change our entire personality and lifestyle, or aim lower, but it's OK for the woman to just sit back and only take the best.

It's why should the fit girl want to date the fat slob, but no question at all to why the fit guy should want to date the fit girl. There is somewhat of a double standard there.

The fat guy is aiming way out of his league, but you're being smart and being free to not date what you're not attracted to.

We just don't look at it the same when it's coming from a girl instead of a guy.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 129
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 3:37:10 PM
"there tends to be this common trend that the advice given to guys is that we either have to change our entire personality and lifestyle, or aim lower, but it's OK for the woman to just sit back and only take the best."


This tends to be the advice when someone is complaining that they can't get a date, message, relationship or whatever.


I say......don't lower your standards.....but God Bless America......quit your wussing and complaining about it!


As my 4 yr old niece would say....." You get what you get.....and don't get upset!" :)
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 130
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/6/2014 7:56:02 PM

It's why should the fit girl want to date the fat slob, but no question at all to why the fit guy should want to date the fit girl. There is somewhat of a double standard there.


I don't think the fit guy should have to settle for a fat girl unless it's something he's into. Same goes the other way around. I just don't get when AVERAGE guys aim for super fit, attractive girls - not balanced. In my experience, women are a lot more forgiving about a guy's appearance than vice versa. I've met up with guys who were not in shape AT ALL and who told me that they're glad I look like my pics because all they'd met so far were "fat chicks". WTF? Double standard much? You're not a woman, you don't see the messages I and others get from guys that are not at all on our level and who get angry and insulting when we don't trip over ourselves to go out with them.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 132
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/7/2014 7:53:32 PM

In my experience, women are a lot more forgiving about a guy's appearance than vice versa.


Not necessarily. In general, women care more about height than men do. IMO the biggest difference is some women will date a man that they aren't that physical attracted to because he is rich or powerful.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 133
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/7/2014 10:10:11 PM
UHm, news flash, I am well aware that guys will have sex with a pig if they have to. Pretty sure I'm not a pig, but I'm also aware that there are plenty of younger, hotter women out there. BUT....these younger, hotter women ALSO have the cream of the crop of guys to chose from, not the average Joe with an average job and an average body. And a lot of men do NOT want anymore children if they already have them, and I'm really only interested in men who are done having kids. Bottom line - I know when it's a hook up, and I don't jump into bed with a guy on date one or two either. BTW, two "pump and dump" guys proposed to me, and I turned them down because they were too young. One of them accused me of only using HIM for sex - imagine that. It can go both ways.

Also want to add - I'm fine being called a "serial dater". I'm not hell-bent on finding husband #2 - I was married for 20 years and know what that's all about. And it's not the easiest thing in the world. I also already have kids, so I don't care if my biological clock is winding down. In many ways, I"m glad I'm not in my 20s or 30s anymore, with the clock ticking and trying hard to find someone to marry and have kids with. That's when women get panicky and settle for Mr. Good Enough, and looking at the divorce rates in this country, it's a bad state of mind to be in. I can take my sweet time finding someone I really want, as a companion, not as a sperm donor and wallet. And if that means sampling lots of guys on the way, it's fine with me. I find that the older I get, the less patience and tolerance I have for BS.
 prepgal
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 135
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/19/2014 2:29:23 PM
Obviously I realize that sometimes 2 people aren’t compatible. But I do think there are serial daters. There is a lot of instant gratification out there. Plus some people have the kid in the candy store approach because there are many choices on dating sites.


So what's the alternative here? Would you prefer a woman continue dating a man that she feels no chemistry for just because he checks all the boxes?


At least, she could give it another shot. I wouldn’t have dated some of my previous boyfriends if I had made a decision about them after a 30-45 minute coffee date.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 136
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/20/2014 8:21:54 AM
I was on here way long time ago (late 20s, early 30s) about 20 years ago. The Internet was fairly new as well as online dating. In that time there were also more men available who weren't divorced, now it seems they all are like that and bitter as heck or don't want to do any work at making something happen. Online dating is/was alot nicer when the Internet and you were younger. Now OMG the men are just plain old lazy and believe they are entitled to supermodels when they are a 1 to 4 on the looks scale.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 137
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/20/2014 8:29:45 AM
Dravid: so in what way are you all that, that you can rate others or make snarky comments on them?

Regarding trustinkarma. Actually as a female who can comment on female beauty without craving it, she is above average in looks and takes care of herself. I'm glad she believes she deserves her equal in looks because frankly I deserve it too. When you get to a certain age you have higher standards not only with looks but even more important, the personality of a male(s) you date.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 138
Serial daters on this site
Posted: 7/20/2014 10:15:28 AM
easterparadehat - thank you, and your comment about men being lazy and expecting to get women way out of their league is spot on. Just yesteday I received messages from 5 different men on Match. All of them were over 55, none of them attractive or in shape, one of them was flaunting his wealth. All of them were looking for women 10-30 years younger than them, but since my age limit was below their age, they critized me for being "narrow minded" and how I should take a chance and date outside my stated age parameters. My age paramenters, by the way, are 30 to 50 on Match, and I'm 44, so I'm willing to go older, whereas all of these guy were not, they ONLY want significantly younger. When I pointed this out to them, they got VERY pissy and defensive, and one of course had to throw an insult at me, something like my husband must have left me for a younger women since I sound so "bitter", lol. For the record, I left my husband, and there was no younger woman involved.

A lot of men really seem to think it is their birth right to get hawt younger women (me included), but somehow we are supposed to overlook their physical shortcomings and are supposed to be OK with them being past their prime.
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