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 curvesweetblonde99
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 41
Friend zonedPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I know exactly how you feel! Me and Johnny Depp would be perfect together too. He is so handsome and has a wonderful personality. After a few weeks of frustrated attempts to persuade him to see how perfect we would be together he has gotten a restraining order on me. I am so crazy for him I can't seem to walk away. I have no idea what to do. As soon as you find the solution of how to force a person who has no attraction to you fall madly in love with you with let me know.
 aanarchist
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 42
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/8/2013 10:33:34 AM
she could've been yours but you lacked the spine/balls/manhood to assert yourself when she opened herself up to you. she gave you her number and all that other stuff you said, practically handed herself to you on a silver plate. when you did nothing for an extended period of time out of FEAR AND COWARDICE, she began to subconsciously resent you for not being man enough to assert yourself. did you expect her to do all the work for you? literally all you had to do was at some point say hey babe i think you're pretty great, we should get together sometime. instead what happened was she got so tired of your superbeta behavior that she called you out on it. in her eyes you're a puppy and not a man, because you act that way around her. next time man up and go for it, women like men, not poodles that they can put in their purse. well ok they do like cute doggies but they won't bone one which i assume was your ultimate goal.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 43
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/10/2013 8:02:00 AM
she gave you her number and all that other stuff you said, practically handed herself to you on a silver plate. when you did nothing for an extended period of time out of FEAR AND COWARDICE, she began to subconsciously resent you for not being man enough to assert yourself.

I think that's great you say that to motivate guys to not be a p*ssy, and to do the wise thing. However, I don't think it was necessarily that situation at all. A lot of times, guys sense she's not into him as she just wanted a guy-friend, which is why they don't make a move. From the sounds of it as he described, it was that type of situation -- and when it was too obvious for too long he liked her a lot, she had to make it clear she just liked him as a friend.

BUT YES, he missed his opportunity, albeit small, to have her look at him in another way, before the friend-zone tone was set. He should have made a move early to avoid that. Small chance when more or less a friend-zone is what the gal had in mind.... but the guy needs to ask himself this: "Do you really want to hang out with her all the time, being in the friend zone? No?" Then stop making excuses about Exact timing. If there's any interest had on her part, no perfect timing or magical, wondrous phrase to captivate her required -- don't be scared of rejection. Holding out won't increase your chances -- that's an illusion masterminded by fear. Make the "move" which doesn't require much at all except for some guts, before things between you and she can be defined as just-friends.

I think the OP needs to realize that establishing yourself in the friend-zone is no bronze medal and is not "partially" getting the woman at all. Quite the contrary, and it's never worth it when you dig them. You can't be 1-on-1 platonic friends with a gal you're into and be happy, you're just torturing yourself.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 44
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/10/2013 5:50:21 PM
Have you slept with her? If she hasn't even slept with you, I can pretty much tell you right now that nothing you do will make her change her mind. She isn't attracted to you, simple as that. I have been friendzoned before, but I actually slept with the guy numerous times until he told me we were nothing but friends. I decided to keep the friendship cause I enjoyed his company and still was sexually attracted to him. I have also put guys in the friendzone, but when I do, I don't sleep with them. There is a connection, but just a friendly one. If she isn't attracted to you, there is nothing you can do. You can either keep and enjoy the friendship and learn to accept the fact that she will date other men, or you can move on and find someone that will like you for who you are.
 Elektrified
Joined: 10/28/2013
Msg: 45
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/14/2013 2:02:45 PM
You'll get over it. Maybe not right away. You may need to vent your frustrations out, whether it be to her or to us. You have your answer though. At least she didn't beat around the bush. She doesn't deserve your effort. Just take the time you need to get over her and move on.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/14/2013 3:06:47 PM
OP, if you keep hanging on to this delusion that she will ever let you out of the "friend zone", her friendship will likely turn to irritation. Best to just move on.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 47
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/15/2013 6:18:24 AM
I've had female friends who told me, "I don't sleep w/ friends" who ended up getting me into their bed, so I can tell you, the "Friendzone" is as much myth as the idea we only use 6% of our minds (our heads wouldn't give off so much heat if that was the case). If a woman's hot for you, she'll chase you as much as you are chasing her. If she's lukewarm about you and feelin' lonely at a particular time, she'll chase you then but stop when she finds someone she isn't lukewarm about.

and if she never had more than a platonic interest? then there's nothing you can do to make her think otherwise. she took the initiative to put you in your place. normally, i'd point out she can't miss you if you never disappear. but in this case, i'd say disappear just so you can get her out of your head. YOU think the two of you would be perfect (maybe b/c of how you'd feel about yourself if she found y0u attractive), but she doesn't agree with you. she knows what would be perfect for HER.

time to move on. you won't find a better fit for you, until you begin looking for one. the sooner you start, the sooner you find her, and get over this one.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 48
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/15/2013 9:09:59 AM
I've had female friends who told me, "I don't sleep w/ friends" who ended up getting me into their bed

Yes, but did they Friend Zone you? Merely not wanting to get involved doesn't necessarily mean they're Friend-Zoning you. Merely pointing out they don't want to dip their pen in company ink or social-group ink doesn't mean they Friend Zoned ya either.

the "Friendzone" is as much myth as the idea we only use 6% of our minds (our heads wouldn't give off so much heat if that was the case)

What you're pointing out is saying one thing, but feeling another. When a girl friend-zones you, it's how she feels about you. She can have the hots for a guy who's a social/group friend, but has a BF. She hasn't "friend-zoned" the guy... she just can't cross the boundaries. Or she has another rule in her own life due to past drama -- don't hook up with someone who's in your social group (ie friend) -- but hey, she likes him, and gives in at some point.

I agree don't purely go by what they tell you. From what you said, I'll take something a bit more relevant: "Words are only 7% of communication." Hence, it's very easy to say one thing but feel/want another underneath it all. Which people can many times read.

if she never had more than a platonic interest? then there's nothing you can do to make her think otherwise.

That's a Friend-Zone. It's an emotional thing, how they feel about ya, not a mere "this would be the right thing to be" position.
 ae86drift
Joined: 10/21/2013
Msg: 49
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/23/2013 1:24:23 PM
Friend zone sucks, you should just tell her wussup baby? let's get it on.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/23/2013 1:54:21 PM

I agree don't purely go by what they tell you. From what you said, I'll take something a bit more relevant: "Words are only 7% of communication." Hence, it's very easy to say one thing but feel/want another underneath it all. Which people can many times read.


That's true. I think a lot of people forget that people also change their minds like the mind. One day, a person is obsessed with working out and wants to be a personal trainer, and next week they want to get into banking. The same goes for dating. That's why you can have a good first date but a cancellation on the second date.
 DomLS1
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 51
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/27/2013 12:13:00 PM
Sorry bud, there's pretty much nothing you can do. Once a girl has friend zoned you, it doesn't matter if you show up to her doorstep every single night with flowers and a serenade by Brian McKnight himself.. she's going to say "Aww thats so sweet thank you" then shut the door and completely forget it ever happened. You've basically become a complete non sexual entity to her... much like her own brother.. or a lamp. The other problem with being in the friend zone is that when you're showing affection to them, it disgusts them, because they are not attracted to you. Don't listen to these idiots who say "Be a man and go get it," because it's not going to happen. Save yourself the agonizing shot to your pride and let it go. The best thing you can do is move on, and one day in 15 years and has been treated bad enough, she might give you a chance.
 nanshe
Joined: 10/27/2013
Msg: 52
Friend zoned
Posted: 11/27/2013 5:53:30 PM
As a woman, I can tell in the first few minutes if I like a guy or not. If I don't like him, chances are I will never like him no matter what he does and everything he will do to try to get me to like him will just disgust me. I have 3 female siblings and all of them have the same opinion. I am harsher because I will tell the guy straight out that there is no chance. But some women are like my sisters and would try to gently break their heart. She's one of those. Walk away now, believe me it's not worth it.
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