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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???      Home login  
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 Be_enchanted
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 26
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

I was wondering if other people worry about growing old alone.


This question struck home because I do fear living alone when I'm much older. I also worry dying alone and not being found for days; this tragedy happened to my oldest brother.

I've been divorced for many moons and don't mind living alone sometimes because I'm use to it. However, I don't want to be alone when I'm even older. I do believe elderly people living alone die earlier than those that have a S/O to share the good times and bad times together. I am thankful my parents are still together after almost 60 years of marriage because my dad watches over the health and well being of my mom; something, sadly, she can't do on her own now.

What will happen will happen and I'm now taking the initiative to date; something I rarely did while raising my son and focusing on my profession. At least I'll know effort were made if I do end up growing older alone. And, ideally, have fond memories to look back at when that time comes.
 Talllkonnly
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 27
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:04:23 AM
The only time I think it would be bad to be alone in old age is when your health is bad and you stay home all day by yourself and no one to bring you tea in bed because you are too weak to get it yourself. I try to keep healthy so this is never me. Even if you are with someone now they can die 10 years before you. I never dated men who smoke, eat mostly junk and don't exercise as I don't want to take care of someone who has medical conditions for things they brought on by themselves. If you stay healthy for your age and are alone, it is usually by choice.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 28
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:10:04 AM
The number of single people is on a rise. As time passes being single would be more common then not. Atlist in the first world counrtries. We are much more independet and that for men and women. The older we get the more we learn that we can do perfectly o.k on our own.
Im 46 year old now and expect to live for another 40 years min. Unless of course I would do something that would kill me before hand. In which case I think it would be fast painfull or not.
Do I worry about the idea that I'm going to die alone?? The answer is no, I don't even think about it as its way too far out in the future. The idea is to have fun in your life and be happy then worry about how you are going to die. Too many people worry about death then life and forget to smile everyday.
Would I like to have someone in my life for the next 40+ years?? Heck yea I would most normal and not so normal people would.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 29
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:51:05 AM
This is a good question to ask the militant radical feminists who keep saying "I don't need a man."
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 30
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Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:51:56 AM
I have no intention of growing old alone.

I am thinking increasingly that some of us ladies ought to get together and find that companionship and security that we need with one another rather than looking for that elusive decent, honest, reliable man. I am not talking about lesbianism, I am talking about having someone to love and who is "there for you" as you are for them. If one of both still have sexual needs they can meet guys for NSA, or each have a toybox, etc.

Years ago spinster sisters living together, or a parent and unmarried middle aged sibling were a common thing.

Many women despair of ever finding a man to be their old age soulmate - why not consider a woman instead? Surely that is better than a pet? Why is this never thought of as an option? I would certainly consider it.
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 31
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Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:53:50 AM
I used to worry, but having kids or a spouse do not guarantee you won't be alone. It is better to be alone than to with you were. I come from a very large family. I don't consider them obligated in any way to take care of me. I figure if I am a good person that people want to be around and that people want to talk to, then I won't be alone. I'm too set in my ways to imagine living with anyone.

When I die, I want a Viking funeral. Burn my remains out on a raft and everybody stays on the shore and gets drunk.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 32
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Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 9:55:00 AM
This is a good question to ask the militant radical feminists who keep saying "I don't need a man."

What a very strange suggestion, maleman999!

I've mixed with them in many discussion groups and I can assure you that the vast majority are very happily engaged in lesbian relationships, so they have far more chance of NOT growing old alone than women who are hell-bent on finding the Elusive Decent Man.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 33
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:06:25 AM

I was wondering if other people worry about growing old alone.

Sure, sometimes. Now and then I'll see a frail elderly person navigating, say, the supermarket, all alone and with great difficulty, and think, I hope that isn't me in future... and help, if they'll let me.

Or, the opposite, I'll see a loving elderly couple helping each other, and think, How lovely! I hope I'll be able to find that, too...

I absolutely think it's possible to find someone who's right for you and will be there with you when aging, and possible illnesses thereof, do come. But, remember, this is no guarantee of not being alone later in life either! Nobody comes with a "Will Not Expire Until [insert date]" guarantee.

From observation, I think having had that pairing does make it easier though.
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 34
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:18:01 AM
I'm not "afraid" to grow up alone, but it wouldn't be my preference. I have had enough of alone for the past several years.
 awesomecatch2
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 35
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:18:53 AM
Thank you very much Wiseman. Im.Old Fashioned in regards to dating, meaning I give my all
all and I dont play these ridiculous games that so many people play-and my values.

The reason I was thinking about this is because Im 38 now and have worked with elderly
patients for years. Most have been widowed or alone..but I have also had the happiness of
seeing people with caring supportive spouses who took care of them until their dying day..

Since I have never been married and have an everyday reminder of how precious life is..I do think.of
things like this.
As Im sure everyone else can agree....theres so many people saying they d rather be alone...well thats not me. I want marriage and hopefully
a lifelong happiness and love..
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 36
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:33:23 AM
I used to worry about it.. I've watched a few women hurt by love become closed to it all and end up dying alone. They said it didn't bother them, acted like they didn't have any need for a man.. but you could see that deep down it did bother them. I was utterly terrified for a while that that would happen to me too. I had built up a bit of a fortress around myself to keep others out. A fortress of fears which only perpetuated itself..

But essentially, I see it as a choice. And I don't want to be alone in a romantic sense anymore, so I'm going to face and fight those fears..

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

So far it seems to be paying off :)

"You're never alone when your're with Christ'.
And yet, many who think this way ARE alone for a very long time. I guess no one can live up to their perfect standards.

I'm awfully glad I didn't measure up is all I can say.
 12thour
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 37
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:43:20 AM
When I was a young girl one of my first jobs was slinging hash at a 24/hr restaurant.

Old men would come in (they were probably not that old but when I was 20 they seemed ancient) and drink coffee at around 4-5am. After awhile they would talk to me and tell me about their life. One of the consistent stories were they met a younger woman, divorced their wives and married her. She took them for all their money and left them alone.

Each one told me if they could go back and be with their first wives and behave better they would. When I asked if their wives remarried most had not. So I told them to go ask for forgiveness. But they said there was no way she would take them back after what they had put her through.

I look at all these men...thousands of them on pof. I am sure there are some who are single because of the women who didn't do them right but equally, the number of men who are mirrors of those men who sat at my coffee shop.

Women...I speak to you here. Pay attention to your men. I know we work today, we take care of the kids today, we clean the house and the yard and try to keep everything together today...but in doing that, we can't forget about our men.

There are women, waiting in the wings, around the corner to give the attention our men seek. They don't have the burdens of life on them like we do so it is easy for them to make our men feel special. We have to put our men as a priority...our first priorities. mark history's word, if we don't another woman will.

Men. Talk to us. Tell us what you need, what you want. Help us around the house, with the kids so we can free up the time to spend with you. When another woman strolls around to your corner of the room and comes on to you and gives you the attention you feel you are not getting at home...before you act on it....TELL US what is going on. We can at least try to change things before we lose one another.

Communication. Communication. Communication.

If you don't let the person tell you what is wrong without you cursing them.... then YOU can't blame them for not wanting to communicate. You have to be open to hearing what your partner has to say. If you want to save your relationship you have to be willing to hear them...to talk and to work things out so you are BOTH happy...not just you getting your way.

Otherwise, there are a lot of people who will grow old alone. Stubbornness will never warm your bed.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 38
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Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 10:44:46 AM

I am growing old alone....I'm only a few months away from a womans most dreaded birthday


Happy 30th. ;)

To those that are worried about growing old alone I ask you this...are you doing everything you can to find that special someone to spend your best years to come with? Do you go places to meet people? Do you smile and try to make contact? To you engage in conversations with those that you are attracted to? How many POF emails from the opposite sex do you ignore? I hope those that are worried are doing everything they can do to find that special someone. It's easy to say you are worried, much harder to actively have a path to follow to do something about it.
 nirvanawithu
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 39
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:47:07 PM

In a world that sees so much Infidelity and Indecisiveness , is it possible to find a soulmate? It seems like its so hard nowadays to find a mate let alone a spouse that will love you unconditionally till the end....


I understand how you feel, seems we're a generation that's learned to have everything our way, which doesn't lend itself well to being in a long term relationship.

Living in Florida, I see mostly couples at the retirement communities and can't help but wonder what it's going to be like in the future. Today when someone looses a spouse, it's a pretty big deal. In the future, it's seems like a married couple moving in will be a big deal.

Kind of sad...
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 40
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:59:40 PM
MSG 48 12thour, That is a great post one of the best in a very long time. You can also turn that around and switch men to women and it would work great both ways. Hat off for you...
 GC_Hayez
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 41
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 3:11:36 PM

In a world that sees so much Infidelity and Indecisiveness , is it possible to find a soulmate? It seems like its so hard nowadays to find a mate let alone a spouse that will love you unconditionally till the end....

I was wondering if other people worry about growing old alone. Ive seen so many people that are widowed, left for another after 10,20, 30 years- I know I cant be alone when I worry about this question.

Any thoughts because I would love to hear other peoples prespectives......


I know I'm still young... but this is something I fear every single day. I'm turning 33 this Saturday. And as I see many of my friends settling down, I'm ready for that feeling. But as I get older... its scares me thinking about ending up alone.

I lost both of my parents when they were both young ages (mom 42... dad 52). And I've been alone ever since. I want this loneliness to come to an for me. Which is why I never give up hope! :-)
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 42
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 3:14:42 PM
I worry about being alone.

With the track record of men that I have dated in the past and the future not looking oh so bright either, I'm kinda wondering where my life is heading.

I would love to get married and settle down but I'm not sure if good men exist anymore! I mean i'm sure they do, but I keep finding the wrong ones!

just my luck I suppose.

I came in this world alone, I guess I'll be dying alone too. No worries, everyone is destined for something in life!

Maybe my Prince Charming doesn't exist or maybe he does. But I'm tired of looking for him! :O(
 stayinalivefl
Joined: 8/23/2012
Msg: 43
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 3:49:39 PM
I don't worry about it. I've been alone in ER and rehabbed alone..the rest is like a pimple on the butt of success.
 Engine_Builder
Joined: 1/24/2013
Msg: 44
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 3:58:39 PM
No, not worried about it in the least.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 45
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 3:59:08 PM
Do I worry about growing old(er) alone? (I'm 61)
Nah.
But I do have 3 grown children who love me a lot and they'd step in and take over if I ever got dementia and couldn't deal with life alone as well as I am now. So actually, I'm not "alone", I just live alone.

I'm okay with me. I don't fear or worry about being with me. It's alright, this living alone when older thing.
(I do know, though, that some people just can't handle well being with only themselves).


Those who talk of the older couples and how sweet and wonderful it is for them to have each other...
well, guess what... one is going to die first and then the other is left to live out their bit more years and die 'alone'.
 a_lonewolf
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 46
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 4:22:52 PM
Define the age of old? Considering there have been very few of my entire family live past 65..... me (a cancer survivor already) living into the years of requiring someone to have to look after me will be very unlikely. I've learnt to enjoy everyday I wake up to... who cares if it is alone? For the day I don't wake up, my will is already hanging on my door and I have a cat that, when hungry enough, will eat me if no one finds me. lol
 ManhHeartLove
Joined: 10/20/2012
Msg: 47
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 5:18:52 PM
yes life is better with a soul mate life partner other half some may like be alone but together is way better i do feel
 nirvanawithu
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 48
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 5:59:05 PM
MSG 48 12thour, one of the best posts I've ever read too.

Thank you...
 JGirlSD
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 49
Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 6:16:41 PM

Everyone who says they're okay living alone are a bunch of liars. Par for the course on POF. Pets don't cut it. Social circles don't cut it. We are not meant to travel through life alone. But if you can't be honest, that your issue. I won't settle for being alone. That's the worst kind of settle to me.


Some of us DON"T live alone by choice. First of all, I can't even get a guy from this site to pick up the phone and call...secondly it's really tough to even get one to want to meet. Some of us just aren't as lucky in love as others.
 4justjoan
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 50
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Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone???
Posted: 2/11/2013 6:49:54 PM
yes all the time
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