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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > A different kind of dating disaster      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 22
A different kind of dating disasterPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Who said I was trying to "rescue" anyone? Is it that impossible that I just had a genuine interest in wanting to get to know this girl? I see a person before I see an addict. I wasn't dating her to be her hero and make sure she never falls back into those problems again, I was dating someone who plays guitar, who likes doing a lot of the stuff I like to do, who treats people with respect. No, she wasn't perfect, but she was someone I could see myself spending time with, and going out and having fun

She wasn't going to meetings.

I'm not the one who exposed her to a "drug environment", if you really need to know, her f'n job did that, at a department store.

An addiction is like a sickness, not a red flag. There's ALWAYS a chance they'll go back, but to me, the type of person she was was worth the risk, because unlike you, I could look beyond it... Idk, it's probably because I've known so many addicts throughout my life that I can so easily just accept that it's a part of their life, and it's never going to go away, and I look past it and look at who the actual person is.

Trust me, I'm very educated on addicts... The difference between us is that I don't see an addict as a red flag, I see an active user as a POTENTIAL red flag.

I'm attacking you because all you see is someone that made a bad choice about 8 years ago, and after staying clean for 5 years, made a mistake and ended up back into it.... Like you've been so perfect in your life? You don't drink coffee in the morning before work? You have your own addictions, and if it's coffee, it's technically a drug addiction. How is caffeine really any better? You're not drinking it so that you have energy to do stuff, you're drinking it so that you feel normal, because your body doesn't want to function without it. The only difference between coffee and heroin is that one is legal and the other isn't, but it's the same exact addiction. They even have similar withdrawal symptoms.

Your thing is you don't even drink, which is great... But you judge people who do, and that's bad.
 ColeenAnn
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 23
A different kind of dating disaster
Posted: 2/15/2013 2:55:04 PM
Mikare took all the fun out of your original post, rockstar.
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 24
A different kind of dating disaster
Posted: 2/15/2013 3:20:13 PM
Yeah, I know. I have an idea, let's all ignore her.

Back to stories of dating disasters. Who's next?
 Mikare
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 25
A different kind of dating disaster
Posted: 2/15/2013 3:42:02 PM
No, I don't drink coffee, I don't date addicts, not in recovery; who do not work a program, attend meetings, or work /hang out in drug related environments. I don't hang out/ work in drug related environments that may place my health and judgment at risk. Nor do I casually date people who are ill for fear of getting bored with them, as I chose to have friends I can emotionally support. My dates are rarely disasters because my boundaries are strong and my choices tend to be healthy ones. as I share my concerns with people who are more experienced than me in the areas I am weak in . I learn from my own mistakes as well as the mistakes of others. I don't blame others or practice denial when life doesn't go my way.....Thank you for being a wealth of information for which to learn from. =)
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 26
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A different kind of dating disaster
Posted: 2/15/2013 7:25:20 PM
Mikare-we all give you a round of applause.. but I think the original point of his post was the uniqueness of his situation. I don't think he asked for anyone to critique his dating style, his lifestyle or anything else. So now back to our original programming:
Rockstar, that's pretty funny. Well, not for the girls cause it sucks to be them..maybe you should trace your ancestors and make sure you are not related to Typhoid Mary! You should print out some cards to pass out to prospective dates warning them...haha...Good luck on the next one...
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