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 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 26
How common is wanting to sleep alone? Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Going by the previous posts, looks like I'm one of the rare specimen who prefer to sleep by themselves, especially having my peace in the mornings. I'm not a morning person (low blood pressure), need my quiet time (scanning the paper online, reading emails etc.) till the coffee kicks in.

The last thing I want to be bothered with in the early morning is and outlandish breakfast demand, and greasy bacon etc smelling up the place, especially during the week. On the weekends I'm willing and able to compromise, like e.g. a sleepover on a Fri or Sat night.

I have no problem making my needs clear once things have progressed to that point, and willing to compromise at weekends I have experienced literally no resistance, so far that is, smile.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 27
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 3:23:14 PM
I think for me it wasn't easy at first, but then finally I learned to not be in a relationship, and that meant I learned to sleep alone, and now I love it, and I'm concerned that I like it too much. lol...

So, it has nothing to do with intimacy, I just sleep better by myself, because I have the whole bed to myself, no snoring, not another waking me up or disturbing me, etc.... all kinds of reasons....

Like with any thing the longer you do a certain thing, or go without a certain thing the more it becomes familiar and it just becomes a routine, and you just don't think about it anymore.

It's learning to be single.

Like I said, I just love it!
Jan
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 28
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 3:44:26 PM

I'm not a morning person (low blood pressure), need my quiet time (scanning the paper online, reading emails etc.) till the coffee kicks in. On the weekends I'm willing and able to compromise, like e.g. a sleepover on a Fri or Sat night.

I haven't read the entire thread, but if what you like is rare, I'm rare too. I miss him during the evening sometimes, but once its bedtime I'm all good being alone. Well, I do have the dog but he shares pretty good, and anyway tends to head out to the living room after lights are out. I don't know if I start snoring and he can't sleep, or if I start thrashing in the middle of the night, but more mornings than not I wake up with the bed to myself. I especially love that having the world to myself first thing in the morning. The BF tends to sleep later than I do on weekends, but I still like him to stay at his house at least one day out of any two weekends.
 02HDF150
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 29
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 4:14:34 PM
I'm used to sleeping alone and even though I have a tough time sleeping at night, it'd be even worse if someone spent the night. I also like to fall asleep with the tv on; I need the noise to help me sleep. I'm a morning person and I like to get up early and get my day started on the weekends to run errands, do laundry, clean the house etc...the women i've dated were far from being morning people.
 Insanity_Inc
Joined: 2/9/2013
Msg: 30
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 4:29:27 PM
I have to confess that having had a bed to myself for over a year now I am quite getting used to it. It's lovely to be able to throw the covers around wherever I want and sleep sideways lol

I think if I was to share a bedroom with someone else now I would need a kingsized bed so I still had my space. :)
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 31
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 5:56:20 PM
I live in a one bedroom apartment, so when my SO is here I often end up on the couch at some point in the night because I am such a restless sleeper and I don't want to disturb him. Usually he wakes me at some point to come back to bed.

When we are at his place, even though he has a king size bed, I usually end up in the spare room. I sleep poorly and jus feel like I am keeping him awake so I leave. I admit that I do sleep better when I am not sharing, but I don't really want to sleep alone, just don't do well with someone else in the bed.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 32
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 6:04:01 PM
I used to have a heard time sleeping in the same bed with anybody, and the first few nights my sweetheart and I slept in the same bed, I got mad because I felt crowded, but now I'm stuck to him like a love struck octopus all night, and I sleep much better with him than alone. Almost 50 years old, and still new and exciting stuff to learn and experience!
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 33
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 6:07:14 PM
i'd love to do the two-people-one-bed thing, but i'm the original princess and the pea and i simply cannot sleep in a shared bed. it hasn't been a problem for my partners. either i'm worth the sacrifice, or more people, including women, are in my boat then is generally assumed.
 Sailing78
Joined: 3/13/2011
Msg: 34
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 6:51:52 PM
I can understand a little bit. I simply don't sleep as well as when there's someone else in the bed than when I'm alone. I think it's a comfort/relaxation thing. I've only had queen sized beds myself, and I know from experience that I do sleep better with someone else if it's a king sized bed. My next bed will be king sized, and it'll solve any sleeping problems for me :)
 georgiapeach21
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 35
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 6:58:24 PM
I totally get it. I love to cuddle, but once I'm tired and it's time for me to fall asleep, I want my space. My ex boyfriend would fall asleep holding me in his arms, which sounds great, but when it was actually happening I wanted to push him off of me so that I could have some space and lay down in a more comfortable position. It didn't help that he snored either. lol
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 36
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 7:42:22 PM
Count me in the separate bedrooms camp. My bed is my nest. I sleep with 3 pillows. A water pillow for my neck/head and 2 body pillow - 1 for my back and 1 to position my knee on. Queen sized bed and I am only little, but only room for me...................so sorry!
 staffmom
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 37
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 7:48:25 PM
I've been sleeping alone for so long that I'm not sure I could sleep with anyone else in the bed.
I think I'd initially snuggle but then when I'm ready to sleep, I'll need space on my side of the bed.

However.... I aspire to have someone and learn to cuddle and fall asleep in his arms.
 shine1274
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 38
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 8:02:46 PM
My grandparents had separate bedrooms. They were married to the death and my grandmother always said the key to that was the separate rooms gave them each their own "space".

I have been sleeping alone a long time now, but I still sleep like someone else is in the bed. I usually wake up in the same spot I fell asleep in. If I leave anything beside me in bed, I will wake up and it is undisturbed.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 39
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 8:14:42 PM
If I leave anything beside me in bed, I will wake up and it is undisturbed.

Same here. Though I may wake once or twice, when out I sleep like a rock. But still wake more refreshed and relaxed next day if someone I love is next to me.

It's looking, at a glance (I didn't count), like responses are about evenly split, so, maybe this isn't so much of an issue for the OP as I'd have thought! Interesting... and good, for him. So that's nice.
 MarksgoneFishing
Joined: 1/9/2010
Msg: 40
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 10:22:20 PM
I used to hate sharing a bed with my ex simply do to the fact and I can't snuggle or be held on to for too long...I move around.

Plus my ex would get jealous of my pillow..yes I have a tendency to kinda,,hug my pillow at night :) ..it's strictly a comfort issue.
 RityHedley
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 41
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 11:09:18 PM
I'm the same way, as is one of my best friends. I think it happens a lot more than people know. Most partners find it offensive because they take it personally when you don't want to fall asleep with them. It's good to be straight up about the issue as soon as it becomes an occurrence. Just make it clear to them that it isn't personal, you just find it difficult to sleep next to anyone & you can't help it. Hopefully they will be understanding & the two of you can work something out. If this is such a big deal to them, then they're prolly too high maintenance or you're just not right for each other anyway.
 12thour
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 42
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/21/2013 11:50:16 PM
bleh...I have been sleeping alone for far too long. Personally, I am looking forward to sharing my bed with the man I love and who loves me for the rest of my life.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 43
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/22/2013 4:47:53 AM
When I lay my head down to sleep at night I end up having little dreams of having someone lying with me during my nappy time. So I guess it's a "want" of mine. Either/or, I always seem to wake up alone. Seems it doesn't really matter what "I want".
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 44
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:40:07 AM
I am in the sleep alone camp. I very rarely spend the night with anyone. I don't sleep well as it is and being in someone else's bed just makes it worse.

I am thinking you should tell her pretty early on. I have had some guys get bent out of shape about it in the past.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 45
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:48:21 AM

am in the sleep alone camp

Based on some of the responses here, this is definitely a question I am going start asking because, for me, this would be an absolute deal breaker... right up there with not having sex at all.

If we both work, aren't sleeping together, and just getting together for sex.. don't they have a name for that? I dunno.. certainly not for me.
 sweetsmilesjust4you
Joined: 1/14/2013
Msg: 46
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:57:14 AM
I don't know how common it is, but definitely wouldn't work for me. I love cuddling and snuggling to much and feeling connected to the person I am with. If I woke up in the middle of the night and reached out for them, the last thing I would want to grab is air...lol
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 47
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/22/2013 6:18:44 AM
I guess there is two ways to look at the sleep alone issue.

Imo, people should have things in common or it isn't going to work out. Those who need all night cuddling aren't a good fit with someone who can't get the sleep they need sleeping with someone else.

However, if you really care about your partner, why would you want to put them through night after night of not getting the sleep they need.

Some people can't sleep if the other person is snoring or bouncing around in bed. If you are the snorer, or you are very restless in bed even though you are getting your sleep, do you really want to rob your mate of getting the sleep they need.

There is no insult to a mate if you find it necessary to sleep on couch/in separate bedroom because of their or your sleep habits (or yours).

Who says the couple can't cuddle before they fall asleep. Once you are asleep, you are only aware that they aren't there if you wake up anyway.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 48
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/22/2013 6:31:15 AM

you are only aware that they aren't there if you wake up anyway

For me.. that's the whole ball game... there is just something about waking up with the woman you love pressed up against you ... sometimes I can just lay there watching her... if she wakes me up during the night .. fine. I'll have plenty of time to sleep when I am taking the long dirt nap.. until then.. there are some things not worth giving up....
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 49
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/22/2013 6:46:24 AM
"there is just something about waking up with the woman you love pressed up against you "

If that person has snored like a freight train most of the night, has morning breath etc...............not so much fun.

"if she wakes me up during the night .. fine."

I put in more than 10 years of never getting a full nights sleep. I was lucky if I could get 2 hrs. a night. I was young and in love. How stupid was I to not go to the spare room! Never again.

I do have to question if these people who say it is fine for their partner to wake them up, has ever put in the time with next to no sleep night after night, week after week, month after month, year after year. Once you have been through that, it is next to impossible to sign up for it again.

I have to be honest. It would be a deal breaker to me today not to be able to have separate rooms.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 50
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/22/2013 6:59:22 AM
We sleep nude. I often wake up in the middle of the night with a ..... My girlfriend is always so good about it. Gently from behind while she's still mostly asleep. She says it always makes her feel desired, close and fuzzy with me.

Having said this, we don't sleep everynight together...maybe 2 or 3 times a week. We do have our own homes and each need our 'alone sleep'. Part of my issue is I often don't go to bed at a set hour any more...could be 10pm or 1am. Now that Im semi-retired, no need to be on a schedule. I sleep when and as how long I feel like it...much more restful and good for the health.
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