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 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 76
How common is wanting to sleep alone? Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I've had king-sized bed my entire adult life because I want to sleep in the same bed with my man. But I move in my sleep so I can't sleep entwined or I wake us both up to change position. 2-hour sleep episodes between waking up, even for only a few minutes, is not enough to function the next day.

My ex-husband snored loudly so I spent many nights sleeping on the sofa. Fortunately it was a very comfortable sofa and I slept well.

Most ex's we'd leave something touching but move apart to sleep. Except one ex-SO. He is the only man I remember wanting to fall asleep spooning, either him around me, or curled up along his back. We'd move apart in our sleep, wake up, move back together, repeat. Never figured out what was different about him. Since him I've gone back to the move apart to sleep.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 77
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/24/2013 9:14:04 AM
My girlfriend likes to fall asleep being spooned. Then she literally won't move until she wakes the next morning. She knows, however, that I won't sleep until I'm satisfied in 'that' way. It's a bit of a joke between us. We have healthy sex but sometimes she knows that she's just got to quickly do me so we can both fall asleep and stay asleep. She says that once satisfied I go from wiggling around to a nice warm blanket around her and she will wake up refreshed.
 angellight2091
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 78
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/24/2013 10:22:52 AM
I dont know how common it is but it would be a dealbreaker for...I enjoy sleeping next to somone..Unless he snores ..

I also enjoy and arm around me and then... switch ... I have a bad habit of throwing my leg over a guys hip when sleeping..lol... never seemed to bother anyone though..
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 79
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/24/2013 11:30:32 AM

I enjoy sleeping next to somone..Unless he snores .


That eliminates 99.9% of the guy population. That just leaves the effeminate guys in the pool. I know women who snore loud enough to make buildings shake, so it's not just a man thing.
 angellight2091
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 80
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/24/2013 11:51:40 AM
I enjoy sleeping next to somone..Unless he snores .




That eliminates 99.9% of the guy population. That just leaves the effeminate guys in the pool. I know women who snore loud enough to make buildings shake, so it's not just a man thing.


lol..Yes.. You are correct, but usually you can nudge the person and they will roll over and stop.. Its the ones that shake buildings that would drive me nuts... Not sure if being effeminate and snoring go hand in hand...
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 81
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/24/2013 11:55:42 AM
What does one thing have to do with the other? Being romantic has nothing to do with whether or not you can sleep well in a bed with another person there. It's not like you choose to be a lone sleeper because you are purposely some unromantic pot of scum. LOL Talk about passive/aggressive slams.

Snoring is also something a person can't do much about, unless it's something that can be fixed medically, etc., but most people snore at some point in their life. There are things that happen to people that they have no control over, we didn't program ourselves to be lone sleepers is a good example. But you have to work with what you've got, so if you like to sleep with someone, don't live with a person who doesn't. If you can't sleep next to a snorer then don't, but know that you may be sawing logs too, you just don't know it. We don't know what we are happy with until we try it out, most times, so instead of all this passive/aggressive sneering at people who prefer to sleep alone, how about taking your own inventory?

Just because you like to cuddle up and sleep with someone, doesn't mean you are necessarily a great person to cuddle up to and sleep with. As just because you are someone who doesn't sleep well next to someone, doesn't mean you aren't a loving, giving, desirable person. You don't have to slam people whose lives work differently than yours, they are not fodder for your need to feel superior, they are just different than you and may or may not be someone worth your time to get to know.
 MsMaggieMay
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 82
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/24/2013 8:05:05 PM

Just because you like to cuddle up and sleep with someone, doesn't mean you are necessarily a great person to cuddle up to and sleep with. As just because you are someone who doesn't sleep well next to someone, doesn't mean you aren't a loving, giving, desirable person. You don't have to slam people whose lives work differently than yours, they are not fodder for your need to feel superior, they are just different than you and may or may not be someone worth your time to get to know.


I applaud you for saying this. From someone who prefers to sleep alone it has not a thing to do with not being loving and caring. I am like a human heater,and when another person is in bed with me with their dead weight draped over me it makes me even more hot,sweaty and miserable. I suffered through that too long in relationships not saying anything,but at this point I am just tired of faking it and tell how I feel rather then suppressing it. I've been with the "full body octopus drapers" and they they were not the most loving people just because they like to sleep like that. Actually they turned out to be the coldest and heartless.
 luvpenpals
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 83
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/24/2013 8:17:12 PM
If my partner wanted to start sleeping alone for no possible reason, I'd surely suspect they were falling out of love.
I can't sleep if Im not able to cuddle... It may sound cute, but can be a huge problem during phases of heartbreak & loneliness.
Sincerely
--- Hank
 SPArwell
Joined: 8/25/2012
Msg: 84
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/28/2013 5:32:33 PM
If the bed is big enough I don't see the issue with falling asleep with someone. As long as they don't get irritated that I won't fall asleep cuddled up. I've got complaints before about that. It's the waking up with the person part that's more annoying lol
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 85
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/28/2013 7:56:00 PM
I have always had a great deal of trouble sleeping in the same bed with someone. I Have insomnia to start with. Plus I toss and turn alot. When I got married, it was a problem. I get hot easily and needed the room to be really chilly so i could sleep. I also needed it dark and quiet-no tv, etc. He wanted it warm and light and the tv before bed. Plus I have a tendency to wrap up in the blanket. I often had to go sleep in the living room. We did end up sometimes having separate beds and sometimes with separate rooms. In hindsight I would say if there is any way at all to at least stay in the same room, to do that.
 dobbie101
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 86
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:25:42 AM
In the immortal, though somewhat decontextualized words of Richard III......A bed, a bed, my woman for a bed.. We analyze and analyze until we end up even more lost than when we started... What works for John may not work for Jane and vice versa...Sleep is a simple biological function...a manner in which the body rejuvenates after the day and also prepares for the sunrise to come. Mainly for refreshment, release, readjustment and then we want to analyze the meotional context.
Sleep well where ever and whenever you are and if she snores loudly and disturbs that rejuvenation then suffering in the relationship will occur and emotional instabilities will arise.
Yes, sleep is a biological function although with tremendous potential for disturbing the emotional well being of mates and family.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 87
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:28:18 AM
I can sleep in the same bed as someone so long as it's a king size bed (HUGE!). I can't fall asleep if someone is right up against me. They generate way too much heat and I won't fall asleep. I've woken up cuddling next to someone, so I do move next to them at some point in the evening.
 mimikej90
Joined: 7/8/2015
Msg: 88
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/7/2017 3:04:53 PM
I think it's pretty common. My bf and I live together and we both have our own beds. Half of the time we sleep together and other half time we sleep alone. Depending on we feel in the night. Neither of us ever felt hurt by choosing to sleep alone. Instead we just respect each other's needs.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 89
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/7/2017 6:03:14 PM
I use to be the one who couldn't sleep alone...after my 20 relationship and being single for 10 years, I rather sleep alone.
I think that could change but I would always want a spare room just incase.
 massguy70
Joined: 1/10/2017
Msg: 90
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/7/2017 6:37:43 PM
I value my sleep and like my space so I prefer to sleep alone. I've shared a bed with women that snored. That made for a long night with little sleep.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 91
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/7/2017 6:51:15 PM
I like sleeping alone, I like waking up alone. This has caused problems in the past when I was dating. I would bring it up right away to avoid any hurt feelings or misunderstandings.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 92
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/7/2017 8:35:19 PM
I agree with Cynderella... after living alone for 10 years I would find it intrusive to have a man in my bed all the time or around the house. I have a spare room which is great for any occasional overnight visitor. If i were to have a guy over for sex I would not want him to stay in fact and certainly not for breakfast unless we were really intimate.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 93
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/7/2017 11:28:40 PM

My bf and I live together and we both have our own beds. Half of the time we sleep together and other half time we sleep alone.

I see no problem with that. IMO, it depends on the environment and how I mesh. I can't sleep well (unless *Exhausted*) in another person's bed, nor With another person in mine. Part of it is because I like to fall asleep with the TV on, and have gotten used to it. And also, my sleep schedule is later than the norm during the week. I see older couples all the time (not Hallmark couples; nor Archie-Bunker ones either) where one sleeps on the couch half the time or in another room due to basically comfort-zone reasons Without some big explanatory reason. They'll sleep in the same bed when family members come over... but their General routine & space is different.

Which, IMO, is becoming more and more the norm post-children, notably when they go to bed / wakeup at different times. I don't see the hubbub about it. It's just the same as each having their own bathroom and big closet. It doesn't at all mean they'd never Sleep in the same bed, just the same as it doesn't mean you Never use each other's primary bathroom (but NEVER use her closet. Never. You will regret it).
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 94
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/8/2017 8:35:17 AM
A question for the people who said they could never sleep and share a bed together with a SO:
When you first got married/moved in with someone, was that the case-of not sharing a bed-and had separate sleeping quarters, or did you always share a bed with someone? If you shared a bed with someone in a previous relationship, what changed that makes you think that now it's a bad idea if you meet the One?
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 95
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/8/2017 8:39:45 AM
"I value my sleep and like my space so I prefer to sleep alone. I've shared a bed with women that snored. That made for a long night with little sleep."




This


A woman shouldn't take it personally/read into it if a man values his sleep
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 96
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/8/2017 9:51:36 AM
^^^ And vice versa I'm sure you meant. Sharing a room with someone who snores is miserable, let alone a bed.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 97
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/8/2017 10:12:44 AM

Sharing a room with someone who snores is miserable, let alone a bed.


Must...fall...asleep...first!
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 98
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/8/2017 10:30:17 AM
^^^ Haha - you've been there too.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 99
How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/8/2017 11:30:54 AM
I never sleep alone, Pupper is an snuggler :/ I agree with others who said once you get used to sleeping alone it can be an adjustment.
Snorers always fall sleep first, and most people.. like it or not, snore.
I like to think I er, purr LOL.
My husband was a sleep walker, that keeps up on your toes
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 100
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How common is wanting to sleep alone?
Posted: 2/8/2017 2:27:23 PM

^^^ Haha - you've been there too.


And me. Always a race to fall asleep first. Lose the race, lose the sleep.

Two "quiet" sleepers = bliss.
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