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 Chrisb281
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 34
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Sucker.... Your getting what you deserve... A wasted life.
 msright78
Joined: 12/11/2012
Msg: 36
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 2/23/2013 1:13:48 PM
I think u need to cut him off completely.

Tell him straight up that u were into him but then u found out that he had a gf and the fact that he didn't tell u this was misleading.

He is playing games with u. If he wasn't playing any sort of games, he would have told u the truth from day 1 that he had a gf. Simple as that!

Stop letting him have his fun and try harder to ignore his calls.

And besides why would u want a guy who has a gf already? Whatever the signals he's giving off, it's not right to even think about him when he's clearly got a gf.

What would happen if his gf found out that he was hanging out with u and that he hasn't introduced u to her already? She's gonna cause a huge drama for sure.

Move on. Stop letting available men chase u. Ur better than that!
 Razerbladez
Joined: 6/17/2012
Msg: 37
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 2/23/2013 1:28:19 PM
How has somebody so stupid gotten so many paragraph replies?
 madman4u
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 38
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 2/23/2013 1:34:25 PM
You have a stalker on your hands.Why invite him over and do things when you know he has a gf.Would you want your bf going over to another girls house all the time? Put yourself in his gfs shoes.No wonder you girls get hurt all the time.You deserve to get hurt as long as you allow all the bs to happen..TELL him to leave.Your messing up your chances to find a decent guy as long as let this guy to stay in your life.
 demux21
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 39
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Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 2/23/2013 2:23:41 PM
yes he is and you are helping him. Friends my foot. He keeps you around just in case and you hang around just in case. Move on unless you jsut like being held captive by each other. You are the other woman.
 pinkmittens
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 40
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/12/2013 6:51:52 PM
run for the hills! You want him more because you cant have him.

He would just do the same thing to you.

Would you want to be in her shoes. If you know about him being taken you are just as responsible for him for the pain that's inflicted to yourself and his girlfriend or wife.

Move on! you'll get over him
 pinkmittens
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 41
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/12/2013 6:52:58 PM
*responsible as he is... not responsible for him
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 43
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Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/12/2013 7:50:55 PM
****SIGH****

OP, you REALLY need to learn the rules:

Rule number 1: There is no such thing as "just friends" between men and women where at least one is sexually attracted to the other.

Rule number 2: First learn rule number 1.

The rules should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know.

Next question?
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 44
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/12/2013 8:17:29 PM
I think the OP hears it plenty from everyone. I agree with everyone here...run away as fast as you can. I was in that situation but smart enough to find out that he also has others. I was a Wednesday and occasional weekend girl until I see some other woman things present in his house. I ran after a few month!
It is hard to get over the lost feeling but when I think how stupid I am to allow myself to be used in that way, then the connection seems to be lessen its potent. Time will heal the hurt. Good Luck to you!
 Thomas_Andronicus
Joined: 6/17/2012
Msg: 45
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/12/2013 8:46:17 PM
I don't see the big shock. The rules of our "serial relationship" culture hold up an ideal of being with one person at a time. But now that being with one person for life has fallen out of grace, being with one person at a time tends to breakdown in practice. Having one sexual relationship at a time is probably closer to the current standard as evidenced by the OP's story. I don't condone this situation, but once you break down the traditional standards, you can't expect to draw another line and expect that one to hold.
 mobious3000
Joined: 2/28/2013
Msg: 46
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/12/2013 8:58:39 PM
quit whinning about shit you women do to us
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 47
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/12/2013 9:13:05 PM
Sorry, cant use the title "friends" here
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 48
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Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 9:46:03 AM
My ex-husband is like that. Run.....Run far and run fast.....but RUN!

No contact is your BBF when it comes to this type of guy.
 FletisHumplebacker
Joined: 2/8/2013
Msg: 49
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 9:48:12 AM
I'd say you are two peas in a pod so maybe you two do belong together. Y'all are players. I feel for the girlfriend.
 lostsoultoo
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 50
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 10:30:11 AM
OP you are beautiful, you deserve to have someone who REALLY loves yuo to take you shopping, do things for you, protect you. This guy is a loser/user. How would you feel if you were the girlfriend in this situation and he had a "friend" that he spent time with and hugged (feels so good????). You would be hurt. Don't let him play you like this. Tell him you need time away from him and his idea of friendship. Take that time to examine what about you makes this thing alright. Why should you be second best. If he really cared about you, knowing how you feel about him, he would set you free since he is not!
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 51
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Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 10:40:55 AM

He told me he wanted to be just friends because he has a girlfriend. I found out over a year into it that he was already taken. It hurt. A lot. I cut him off when I found out, but he kept finding reasons to stay in my life. Whenever I try to push him away, he always comes back.

We have cut out the physical aspect of our interactions, but he still manages to find reasons to see me almost every day. He tells me his deepest, darkest secrets and we do things together like go shopping, run errands, hang out, etc. Sometimes we catch each other's eyes and he looks deeply into them like he's looking into my soul (I know it sounds weird). He goes out of his way to try to protect me and keep me safe. He'll come over to help me at the drop of a hat. He gets jealous when I spend time with other guys. When we hug sometimes he says, "Oh my god, it feels so good."

I don't mind being his friend, but I feel as though there are tons of mixed signals going on with him. Btw, he knows that I have deep feelings for him. Is he confused? Is he having an emotional affair with me? What is going on? Guys especially, but women I don't mind your input as well. Also, what's the best way of dealing with this situation?


He told you, he does this, he does that...he's not doing anything you're not allowing him to do. Put on your big-girl panties and tell him to leave you alone, already.

P.S. I've never heard the word "affair" used unless at least one of the parties to the situation is married. Is someone here married?
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 52
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 11:03:02 AM
Yikes. I was sort of in a simular situation, with a guy I went out with once that I really liked. He told me he felt no "spark" for me but wanted to hang out with me all the time while he was busy dating other women. So we never got physical, but he was as attentive and available as a BF would be. I had never experienced anything like this. We would go out to plays, movies, make dinner, watch movies, and got along great. Trouble was, the situation was NOT great for me. It was tearing me apart inside. I was always hopeful that one day he would "see how great I was" and finally we would be together.

I have to laugh at how naive I was. Of course nothing ever changed. He had the comfort of me around, which kept him busy and not feeling all alone, but he was free to date around and try to build a real relationship with someone else. I finally ended it, because if I didn't, it would never end.

Bad situation to be in. I am not looking for more "guy friends"..I am looking for a boyfriend, not this weird, "playing house" sexless situation that was driving me crazy. I guess at the time I felt it was at least better than being alone, but once I removed him and the tension it was creating for me, I actually felt better, back in control.

The fact that you pick him up and drop him off from his girlfriend's house..my goodness. You MUST stop doing this! This guy really has his bases covered..he's even got a woman to drive him to where he's going to have sex with another woman! Please, for your own dignity's sake, STOP doing this.

Guys like this have no reason to leave you alone as long as you keep providing them with what they want..attention, free taxi rides, ego boost, etc.

Also I'd recommend checking out baggagereclaim.com.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 53
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 11:06:26 AM
Everyone's jumping on this guy

Not me...she's fully aware of his circumstances and can only control her actions.
If...she doesn't like the circumstances of what he is offerring her...then quit!!
I am forever baffled the "why" that women put up with this kind of treatment???

No one ever said....all choices in life are easy!
She needs to decide what "she wants out of life"???
Don't complain and whine about something....you have control over...
Next thread...I was Duped....waaaaaaa

Yep...Read every word that Volcano wrote...she gets it....
We have all lived it to some extent....
 ZombiezRock
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 54
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 12:03:24 PM
You dont mind being his friend because he gives you everything he should be giving his girlfriend. Your getting a lottt out of this, time, attention, money from what you say, company and so on. However, howwww would you feel if another woman was doing this with your guy? I mean come on, you came on here asking about him like he is the sole problem in this. Take a quick look in the mirror and realize your just as big of a problem as he is.

yikes.... some people.
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 55
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 12:40:19 PM
As long as you let him he will. Try no contact and moving on and if he bothers you tell him you will press stalking charges against him.
 Orionthehunter9
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 56
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 12:51:10 PM
You DROP HIM OFF there!?!?! Wtf!!

If anybody ever asks me why I love the forums I only need direct them to shit like this to make them understand.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 57
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 2:31:27 PM
have u banged him yet?/
 Just___Jim
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 58
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/13/2013 3:27:21 PM

Yep...Read every word that Volcano wrote...she gets it....
We have all lived it to some extent...


Yes you all get it with the exception of this," Living In The Comfort Zone Relationship" as you'll only get it so far! lol

If this is the best it gets, then this is the best it gets for you. Part time People using people pat time emotionally,nothing new here....or nothing gained either if that's what you need without the .............thing in what might hurt you because.......you fill in the blanks.
 Moon_Rocket
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 59
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Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 3/14/2013 10:44:48 PM
Well you wanted a guys view but just wait a sec will you?.....

Just wanted to get into my full metal jacket flack suit. There much better!

So now I'm ready for all the ordinance that will be thrown at me, let me say you are all wrong, why?.....

Except for the start of their relationship this dude has been completely and brutally honest with the OP. She knows exactly where she stands and can make a choice either way. How many people carry on "other" relationships in complete secrecy, sometimes multiple relationships, and the only one in the loop is the perpetrator?

I think he's a gem. If it were me though, the girlfriend would be in the know as well (but who's to say she isn't?)

To me the kicker is, all is fair as long as everyone knows the score and everyone keeps comin' back for more.

C'mon people, most of you have been in periods of your life when you had multiple partners and didn't want to commit to any one of them. That's one of the reasons some of us prefer to stay single. Before you start calling in the coordinates though...

Indeed whilst I have been there, been the player and made sure all my partners knew the score and were happy with the situation, (or as happy as they could be) there comes a time when the shallowness really starts to affect your head, when your affection can only be split in so many directions, when your emotions crave to be directed at only one person. (mind you this can take some years!) When you want to be with someone you don't want to play games with.

When this happens you hang up your jockstrap (or crotchless knickers depending on your gender) and try to live a 'normal' one on one relationship.

Having lived in both situations, can I tell you...I would rather one on one. More satisfying, knowing that your investment in time is resulting in a stronger relationship where two people can enrich each others lives and confide in each other as true partners. BUT, I would never regret the time I spent as a player as it has really helped me with maintaining a normal relationship.

So OP can I suggest this to you?

Take some advice from an old hand. You know the score, don't take things so seriously, you still have plenty of time and if you are getting what you want out of what you are doing....keep doing it! However, treat it as what it is, a game!

What you need is awareness. If you are fully aware of the dynamics of the situation you cannot be hurt. If you know you are just one on his list that's ok, so long as you don't become a martyr and 'save' yourself for him. That ain't smart.

Treat this as a learning curve, have fun, be brutally honest with your partners but....make sure you are on the lookout for someone else who may be closer to making an emotional commitment to one person, because deep down I think that's what you want.

The End.

Ok I'm climbing down into my shelter now....bombs away!
 syndicate-killah
Joined: 3/15/2013
Msg: 60
Guys especially: is he having an emotional affair with me?
Posted: 4/1/2013 10:43:25 PM
Speaking from experience, I would have to say yeah, he's definitely an emotional affair with you. How far you wanna deal with this and take it is totally up to you.
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