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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?      Home login  
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 feyfaith
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 17
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I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice? Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Single parents come in waaay too many flavours for there to be a magic formula & the only way to find out what suits you is to do a little research.

For example my Mum became a lone parent after she was widowed. She decided that no man could possibly top the wonderfully happy 30 years plus she'd enjoyed with my father. No man stood a chance with her, & though a few asked her out, they were always politely refused. Women like this are never asked to appear on the Jerry Springer Show, and you'll never get the chance to date them. Many service widows fall into this type of category and the younger ones are often open to the idea of a new partner.

At the other end of the scale you have the woman who thinks she has to have baby by every man who smiles at her, or that crazy octoplut Mum. This type may come with all kinds of financial and emotional demands + untold "Baby Daddy" drama. You also get the woman who was treated so badly by the father of her children that she really needs a course of professional therapy to help her recover from the experience rather than a new lover. Avoid the bitter men haters if you can.

In the middle is a group of attractive sensible, financially stable (well as much as anyone can be in this economy) honest, hardworking women who happen to have children. They may have sole 24/7 custody, but access to reliable vetted babysitters or the father may be involved in raising the children allowing you to get some "couple time".

A few single Mums are stunningly beautiful millionairesses in their own right, with good cause to establish whether or not you are a gold digger. All Mums worry about the stories we hear in the news about child abusers and the like.

Children too come in many flavors from the totally bratty, to utter delights. Some children may actively welcome your involvement in their life, others may have unresolved issues from their parents break up. You just don't know until you meet em!

There are a few things you have to take into account such as respecting the boundaries set in the initial stages of a relationship by the mother. (Avoid excessive displays of PDA's at the start, use some common sense show some respect for the child's sensitivities).

If the mere thought of a woman with responsibilities is too much for you then avoid like the plague. Also avoid any woman that might be caring for elderly parents (given your age there's a lot of childless women in this position) or dog owners or even ladies who keep chickens in the back yard too. These ladies also have to organise things in advance before flying to Hawaii for the weekend. As with any woman try and consider what qualities you are bringing to the table too, as I'm not sure you'd be a single Mum's ideal date just yet.
 afarmenian
Joined: 1/26/2013
Msg: 18
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 2/24/2013 10:39:54 PM
Don't settle, honestly i tried once and if you have any doubt than your shouldnt even consider it because long term it wont work.
 awesomeo4000
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 19
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 2/26/2013 9:04:49 AM
Here's my advice - STOP with the thinking that they might be your only option. You live in a great area for picking up beautiful,single, childfree women. Read up on attraction, game, social skills, confidence, etc. And learn how to country dance if you haven't.

Dating women with kids isn't for everyone (and that is perfectly fine). It's not for me. It sounds like it's not for you either. So don't do it.

Dig the Rounders quote bro.
 relaxingwithyou
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 20
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 2/26/2013 10:26:08 AM
I can tell you from experience that dating a single parent, male or female, is a whole different ballgame. Bottom line is parents should date other parents and singles without kids date each other, 2 separate camps with vastly different rules.

Unless you enjoy being #2 and contantly being put on the back burner, go for it. You will put her first in your life as the relationship develops and you will be in the line somewhere after the kids, never #1. Don't go there. If you fall in love with her you will be stuck in a non-reciprocal imbalanced relationship, and it suks.

When my last bf and he had 2 kids, talked to me about getting married, he let me know his assets will all go to his kids, yet he figured my assets would be for "us". I asked my married friends about that crazy inequity and they agreed with it. Like I said, a completely different one-sided universe. Don't go there.
 Football11234
Joined: 2/24/2013
Msg: 21
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/3/2013 9:43:08 PM
That's offensive. Kidding. Don't date them. Try to find someone out there who isn't a mom, or if she is - is self sufficient with a good head on her shoulder.
 kara41
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 22
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:32:22 PM
You asked for advice in dating a single mom. Well, as a single mom, here is the best advice I can give ya.
-Be accepting of her schedule. When asking her out, let her know what times are best for you, but be sure to let her know you understand the demands of being a single parent.
-Tell her you admire the amount of time and work she must put in to raise her children alone.
-If you are going to date long term, get to know things about the children before getting to know them. IE if they have activities, their age, fave foods, ect.
-Discuss your needs as the 'boyfriend' and discuss what role/how much involvement / time you are both comfortable with you being around the kids.
-If you really deicde you like Mom, remember you get to be the cool guy boyfriend. Takin Mom to dinner? Sneak those kids some candy before you walk out. Nothin will get you in the door quicker than a Mom whose kids are buggin for you to come take her out again.
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 23
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/5/2013 4:58:18 PM
Definitely dont try to win the kids over by buying them things early into relationship
Dont try to be Dad
Be yourself
Be open and Honest
Take things slow
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 24
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/8/2013 4:01:42 PM
Im sure there are women who dont have kids out there
but why havent you thought about having your own kids?
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 25
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I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/8/2013 4:26:53 PM

Funny.. I didn't see a single woman flame him.. what I did see is a lot of men putting down single mothers.

Funny how i'm way better off then my boyfriends ex.. I make more money, have more education and more common sense then her.

Funny how you all judge a book by it's cover or in this case a group they happen to belong to

Funny how it's more often then not the guys who want to stay in and watch movies. *in my experience and that of most of my friends* , even when my son was a baby.

Funny how if we never introduced the kids, guys get upset, but if we introduce you into our lives too soon, guys get upset.

Funny huh..


Is you child's father involved? No? Then you fit in my generalization. I don't mind if you ghost my posts, but do so to prove your point, not mine.

Funny huh? :)
 brycesmommy2010
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 26
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/8/2013 10:27:38 PM
Awesome response! That is true!
 afarmenian
Joined: 1/26/2013
Msg: 27
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/9/2013 11:59:58 PM

I didnt choose to be a single mum but as it is thats what i am


****gasp**** immaculate conception?????
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 28
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:50:11 AM
DON'T DO IT!!! I'm single 33 yr old I kids I though of dating single dad never again in my life. It was canceled dates broken promises aliways tried no money no time lots I'd nights home with kid/ kids. Forget vacation unless u want to go to Disney forget romantics weekends or evenings. N u will becomes free sitter. DON'T DO THAT
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 29
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:51:39 AM
Plus reading with ex court etc. u dont want it
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 30
I've never dated a Single Mother before.. Advice?
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:52:32 AM
Dealing*. Sorry autocorrect
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