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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore      Home login  
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 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 26
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymorePage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
So you have been with him for 3 years and you have a 2 year old with him, which means he knocked you up right after you met. So did he stop having as much sex after you gave birth? Could be that he has a fear of getting you pregnant again or that he feels trapped in the relationship.

Out of curiosity, why did you create a POF profile 2 years ago, which would be around the time you gave birth, and why are you actively looking for a relationship?

My advice, having been in a similar situation when I was around your age, is to move on. There is no reason he can't still be a great dad even though you have split up.
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 27
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Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/22/2013 8:39:51 AM
OP, I agree with most of the other posters: Find a way to move on. Your BF has no respect for you and the longer you stay, the more potential of mental abuse and anguish will be part of your relationship. You are young, pretty and desireable. Run away from him as soon as you can and make sure he at least financially supports your child.

Best of luck!
 All2rosie
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 28
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/22/2013 8:47:02 AM
OP - is this a case of he wants out of the relationship and you don't? You refuse to end it so he is now mean, surley and selfish in an effort to drive you away?
I can't help feeling that the issue is not your weight or your sex life - he does not want to be with you, so he does and says things that will make you want to leave .

You deserve better for you. It will be scary at first - but you CAN do it! Walk away girl in fact run.

Counseling may help YOU to develope skills sets that will help you to let him go rather than trying to repair something that appears to be beyong repair.

Don't end up up wasting more time in your life being in this unhappy place.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 29
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/22/2013 9:03:40 AM
all the advice has been the same ..and you already know the answer .. now go find someone that will love you..not use you
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 30
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/22/2013 5:35:40 PM
Been there, done that. You need to get away from him. It is only gonna get worst.
Its not you!!! Believe that, he is unhappy, and wants to make you unhappy.
You have to get away, or your child will be unhappy,also.
What All2rosie, said, is true.
Once you get away from him, you will get your selfesteem back. I know, its
not easy when you have a child, I have 2. That were very young, when I left.
Whatever you do, dont jump right into another relationship. Change the man
you pick, or you will find yourself in the same boat.
I wish you the very best. You can do it!!!
 tattedrightup
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 31
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/22/2013 7:17:05 PM
you sound so insecure its unreal, insecurity is about as sexy as dirt... why not watch porn with him and u do the work instead of crying over the women in the video... god damn, you are the problem from what i read.. you need to be more confident and sexyyyyyyyyyyyy maybe do something extra freaky.. dont **** and cry if it does work the first time..
 Razerbladez
Joined: 6/17/2012
Msg: 32
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/22/2013 8:53:55 PM
Wow thats a bold thing to say.

What an ***hole haha...
 OhioJeepindude
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 33
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Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/22/2013 9:17:59 PM
I looked at your profile/pics. There is nothing wrong with you. He is the one with the problem. The first 10 posts got it 100% right on the nose.
Cry if you must, but you need to rid yourself of that P.O.S. better leave now than aftet 10 years go by.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 34
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/22/2013 9:39:49 PM
He's caught up in his little porn world, self satisfying, unable to & worse is he's unwilling to please you at the same time. So "Your Fat" or any other derogatory remark means he's blaming you for it & that you have low self esteem emboldens him to keep up his facade.

No way in the world will you turn him around unless you confront it. Bring up the subject of a man's lack of prowess in the bedroom in front of friends or family & talk his issues as if hypothetical. Maybe hearing opinions from his peers will shake him enough to realize the ass he's been towards you.
 swm69
Joined: 2/7/2013
Msg: 35
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/23/2013 2:15:32 PM
Before my ex and I broke up there was a period of about 6 months (maybe more) where we didn't have sex. Why did I lose interest? Most it was comments (and body language) she made during sex that turned me off. After our relationship ended she asked a question just like you have. I gave her a few grievances I had (e.g., not letting me go down on her) but now that I think about it the reduction is sex was a reflection of a relationship going sour - arguments becoming more frequent and louder, which led to us sleeping facing opposite walls instead of facing each other.

My point is that the "root cause" of your problems may still be in his subconcious.
 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 36
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/23/2013 9:01:31 PM
Lose the weight, lose the guy or lose both. It's your choice, really.


Girls seem to go into a relationship thinking of the ways he should change to suit her better (rather than accepting him for who he actually is). Guys seem to go into a relationship hoping that she'll never change from the day they met (rather than accepting that people change over time).
 Good_Guy69
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 37
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/23/2013 9:26:25 PM
lose weight fatty and get into working out and find chemistry
 bigbonhomme
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 38
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/23/2013 10:59:22 PM
Obviously he is a**** Give him the boot and if you come to Ottawa drop me a line. ;)
 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 39
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/24/2013 1:18:19 PM

You've been on POF for 2 years, but just started having a problem with your boyfriend?

Oh.... snap!

One year into your three-year relationship with your current BF and you're on a dating site? Sorry, but there's no good excuse for cheating. Pete, ftw!
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 40
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/24/2013 1:35:51 PM
I would dump his sorry ass in a heart-beat and find someone who appreciates your assets
 NYCmasterplumber
Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 41
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/24/2013 1:36:47 PM
If you lose some tonnage possibly he will give you a second look
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 42
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/24/2013 1:44:32 PM
(quote)

Eeeeewww what a creepy response. Well OP at least it screens out the creepies like this one.
 LoveSong99
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 43
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/24/2013 8:43:12 PM
dump him. He's up to something shady.
 AJnotbad
Joined: 1/5/2013
Msg: 44
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/24/2013 11:19:24 PM
ok... he wants to break up with you but doesn't want to hurt you so he is giving you a chance... reason i don't know... could a girl, could be a difficulty he is facing... he might have cheated on you and feeling bad...
only he can tell you...
you have been together for 3 years thats a long time and if you don't want through it in the gutter... you can try to fix it with some reverse talking... its like giving him the reason to tell you whats wrong... make him think that you are up to something and let him come after you... or you can just dump him and be done with it...
just saying what i think...
 justseewhatis41
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 45
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/25/2013 4:33:58 AM
Do anything not to lose him? Say that outloud... then sit back and ask yourself when did you become this person? This woman that needs someone more than you value happiness? I have been there girlfriend! Break up and move on... ever heard of child support? He HAS to support you and your son and you will find someone else... but first off, work on you, because you are not good for the right kind of man that is out there until you build your self esteem back up
 Anomalyxgirl
Joined: 3/28/2011
Msg: 46
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/26/2013 10:42:03 AM
I have never cheated! My profile has said looking for friends and he has known about me having it, and knows my password. Thank you for assuming though! =[

Also thank you everyone else for helping me. I feel a lot more prepared to deal with it now, and I know what my choice has to be.
 kgirl2305
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 47
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/26/2013 5:32:16 PM
Sweetheart this isn't you!! It sounds like he has lost interest and can't be honest with you about it. Or his fetishes are out of control and he can't share that with you either. I think you have opened yourself up as far as you can. Can't make him tell you what's going on in his head. He's gonna tell you or he isn't. I'm so sorry he's making you feel bad about yourself. That isn't fair, very disrespectful and just plain ugly!!
 altosong
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 48
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Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/26/2013 10:23:49 PM
Men who are addicted to porn have trouble with relationships......Its like visiting a prostitute...it has its consequences....You are better off...His short attention span.and his obsessions.are the problem..Sexual addictions...are hard to fathom...nobody is happy....There's no love in it..
Find someone who loves you...Altosong
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 49
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Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:02:03 AM
"Lose weight or hit the road. If it was a man who gained a massive amount of weight and came on here whining that his woman denied him sex because of his weight gain, the POFers would eviscerate him by calling him names like "lazy insensitive slob."
She;s already said she's thinner than she's ever been right now.Look at her pics, shes hardly carrying a massive amount of extra weight.
No sex, if he's not cheating, probably means the relationship is over for him. Maybe he's staying for the child. You need to do whats best for you now. He can still be a great father if you two are not together.
 eattoplease55
Joined: 10/22/2012
Msg: 50
Boyfriend of 3 years wont have sex with me anymore
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:13:33 AM
Not saying anything cept dump him and move on.....your to young to brude over some kid that wont give his girl the love she wants .......if your esteems that bad maybe a bit of talk with a professional would help also.....young as you are dont think you want to be in those abused situations!.....good luck and be safe!
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