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 AUTHOR
 tomiamiam
Joined: 2/6/2012
Msg: 19
Just Friends- need advicePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

Even if we can't get back together, I would still like to be friends. Is that possible?


Do you really want to hear about his romantic life and how successful or unsuccessful (even worse) he has been meeting The One? Because that's what friends do for other friends. That role would be too difficult for me. Tear off the band-aid quick and start moving on.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 20
Just Friends- need advice
Posted: 3/3/2013 9:13:36 AM
Op, I'm sorry this has happened to you. I dare say it's over. Please let it be. If you continue contact you will continue to believe there is hope. The man was honest with you and you must except that and move forward for your own sake. I would not want to be around someone that was not interested in me. Your a pretty gal and you need to find someone that is willing give what you give them in return.
Good luck and well wishes
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 21
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History
Just Friends- need advice
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:40:32 AM
Hey OP- I read both posts. He's your friend's fiance now? Well I think that's a pretty large indicator of him not looking back- don't you? All you are doing by reaching out is giving him the ability to do something wrong. And he would be doing something wrong to your friend. What kind of a friend does that make you? I really think it would be best for you to avoid seeing him at all untill you get yourself somebody that's into you. I also think that if it was me, I would let my friend know about it and tell her that I couldn't be around him anymore. I'm sure your friend will understand if you tell her. Oh, and you shouldn't attempt to be too close of friends with the guy till you're over him either.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 22
Just Friends- need advice
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:42:47 AM
Look, he's not interested in you. The way that you feel about him is not what he feels for you. He is trying to be nice, but he will never be in love with you. period. I know it is hard to hear, and I know it sucks, but the sooner that you stop carrying a torch for someone that is probably carrying a torch for someone else, the better off you will be. No contact at all is probably the best thing for YOU. you need to get over this guy, and you need to get him OUT of your heart as soon as possible. two things can not occupy the same place at the same time, and you need to make room in your heart for someone who will love you the way you love them. unrequited love is a complete waste of time, and you should run away from any hint of it as soon as possible. if a man is into you he will call you, he will want to see you, he will want you. if a man wants you it will be obvious.
 oxcaitlynxo
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 23
Just Friends- need advice
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:54:41 AM
Unless you can lose feelings for him on that level you should stop torturing yourself. I kno you do not understand why he lost his feelings and i'm sure, think there could be a small chance he will get them back, but it won't happen.
I honestly do not believe one could truly be friends with someone they have such great feelings for with out feeling some kind of way about it. Take it as a wonderful experience where you were able to meet someone who changed and effected your world and move on! Not many people can do that to you and more will open up to you when you're 100% open to other experiences.
 comed
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 24
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History
Just Friends- need advice
Posted: 3/3/2013 4:28:04 PM
Count your blessing you found love though it was brief, never chase...he need to sort him self out in the mean time get on with your life.
Your a beauty face I'm sure you'll find love.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 25
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History
Just Friends- need advice
Posted: 3/3/2013 8:09:12 PM
meggss2006 wrote:


I met this wonderful guy back through mutual friends and after my previous ex, he was the greatest thing that ever had happened to me and treated me the way I knew I deserved. I felt like everything was perfect and headed in a good direction for the long term. After a few months , he unexpectedly ended it saying that he "just didn't have the love feelings he thinks he is supposed to have" and " he can't explain his feelings" but they were definitely there in the beginning and I mean a lot to him.

I had about a month of no contact and then reached out and texted him to see how he was doing and we had a short, but nice conversation.

Where do I go from here? Do I reach out again in another few months or just give up hope if he doesn't contact me? Even if we can't get back together, I would still like to be friends. Is that possible?


Hun, you gotta learn the rules:

Rule number 1: There is no such thing as "just friends" between men and women where at least one has a sexual attraction for the other.

Rule number 2: First learn rule number 1.

That said, do yourself a favor. Realize that there are men out there that treat you the way you deserve/want to be treated, and move on and find one that will stay with you.
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