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 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 16
Common in Online Dating?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
exactly...we are dammed if we do ..and we are dammed if we dont!!.....its just easier for us if we dont....and then if we delete the men....
we get another man writting a thread about...being deleted!!..and wot b!ches we are!!..seriously...just let us make a choice everyone is different.


It takes very little time or effort to send a quick email or text after a date saying something like "we're not a match". Once again, I was talking about after you had a few dates with someone. Not the initial email. If a man makes a thread complaining about his emails and texts being unread / deleted and a woman blocking him AFTER she told him she wasn't interested, he would get no sympathy from me. Although I haven't seen many threads about that exact situation.
 brinaalina
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 17
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History
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/23/2013 2:01:16 PM
Super common. Sometimes I open a message and either the photo is NOT a person I would go for, or their opening message is rude, or just one word like "hey".

I hate the one-word thing. Say SOMETHING lol. But yeah, don't get offended or upset. It's just online dating. A lot of times we just don't feel like replying or aren't into it.
 rmccoy12
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 19
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Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/23/2013 3:08:59 PM
I agree 100% with Jeffrey65802 , a lot of messages are drowned out.

My thing is, I'm no model by any means, neither are the women I write. But why are so many women so called 'not interested". It would be very hard for me to not right back a women who I found attractive, even if all she said was Hey how are you, or something along those lines.

I'm sure a lot of women, are maybe even looking for key things in your profile.. Is their a nice car in the pictures?
Does the man have on fine jewelry type of thing.

I'v changed my profile from long passages to short descriptions...etc.. added pictures partying and other more liad back photos.


I honestly don't get it.
 forthewinwinwin
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 20
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/23/2013 3:55:49 PM
Very common. No reply = no interest. When I send a message, I usually never look back at the profile ever again unless she replies, in anticipation of this.

I perfectly understand that if one does not find another attractive, then she'll just not respond. Saves time on both ends. I actually prefer it that way over someone who intentionally drags a conversation when she really has no interest, and later cuts off the replies.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 22
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/23/2013 4:51:59 PM
Welcome to online dating...lol.....A no reply means no, that works great and I think it is the most polite way to let someone know you are not interested. Yes, none of us know a person by seeing a picture and reading a profile but for online dating, it is all we can go by. Maybe a person we may have enjoyed had we met in person but we all have our reasons initially. I personally hate this online stuff but it is the best thing I can think of. We think in our brains this is great but then reality sinks in and it doesn't match our brains thinking for the most part. We all are in the same boat so hang in there. I know for me, I will get what I want and that's that! Or, I will take a cardboard sign and race you to the nearest freeway ramp and write on it "looking for a great woman"!!
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 23
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/23/2013 7:20:00 PM
I give them 24 hours to respond and then assume they are not interested. I would not send a follow up email either. You'll find on the forums that the common answer to your situation is 'no response is a response'

It's the nature of the beast in online dating. Please don't follow up with response...you might be perceived as a stalker.
 Feather21
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 24
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/23/2013 7:35:10 PM
Yeah, why do I have to write you to let you know that I'm not interested.

I think that is rude. JMO

And, these guys will write me and write me, and then I block:)
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 28
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/24/2013 5:20:19 AM
I don't know if anyone here has ever done a job search before sending out numerous resumes to companies that they are interested in?????? Most companies NEVER send a reply unless they want to meet ya for a interview. "Rude" or not, that is what most companies do.

At one time I used to "think" somewhat like the OP is thinking. As in, "Ohhhh, if this girl only "knew" me, why won't she give me a chance(let's have at least a conversation)" kinda thingy. Then, I clued in. The only thing that I can do I get the initiate some form of interest. If the other party doesn't want to react to such interest(one way or the other), there is nothing more I can really do. In other words, "I tried".
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 29
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Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/24/2013 5:52:04 AM
Most people new to this think/thought as you do Bigtime. I agree it's polite to respond to a well thought out message, and I do. I have never had any problems with this. I do not respond to obvious mismatches, younguns/sexual requests/etc.
You'll quickly learn that people behave differently in here than real life. Commenting on it will simply make you the target of namecalling/criticism.
Best advice I can give is to not take things too seriously here. You're going to see a lot of people behaving a lot worse than not answering an email.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 31
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Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/24/2013 8:31:03 AM
It's common on here likely because:
1- Guys messages are like junk mail gotten at home or spam gotten on an email account.
2- Gals tend to get many messages and it may be too much time for them to send a "No" to each one.
3- Guys tend to respond with nasty messages after rejection.

No it's more like not responding to the junk mail at home or the spam on email.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 33
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Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/24/2013 9:47:54 AM

no response = no class, but its typical of women on here, if your not a rich, hunk they wont even bother to reply, its high school on here, the same as ignoring a guy in high school while chasing asfter the stud quarterback, the thing is, on here its the same, the women wont end up with the quarterback then complian about all men, just classless to not reply, and the men saying they don't have to are just kissing their rear ends to only be dateless also.

Since no response = no class do you have class and check your junk mail at home and spam on your email writing a reply to all of them telling them you're not interested? Your comparison of this being like gal's chasing a quarterback suggests a projection of your personal issues as not responding to messages is more like not responding to junk mail or spam email.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 38
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Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:21:31 PM
The heavily emailed guys don't respond to fat/old/whatever women either. This seems to be a universal thing that starts correlating with number of messages gotten. It's just that most guys don't even GET unitiated emails from non-spammers.
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 40
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Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/24/2013 12:51:44 PM
Yes, that is very common when you send someone a message and get no response back. Just learn to get used to it. Everything happens for a reason.

When I first started on here, I received some very rude message right at the beginning, out of nowhere. I was so upset... felt like to send a rude message back... but for a second thought, I said to myself that guy was an idiot, and I did not want to waste my time to send anything back and ignored him. There were times I received nice messages, but I felt I was not interested, so I responded with "thanks, but no thanks", then I received very mean, rude message back. That's how I learned to ignore the rude ones and not interesting ones totally. I don't want to be mean or get into a fight "verbally" on the internet. I just brush it off.
 Imagineour
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 41
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/24/2013 8:25:21 PM
It's about as common as people who post in the forums asking about whether it is common. No thanks for contacting, she would be thanking literally hundreds of people. If you get no response and she hasn't viewed your profile, then yes send one more and then forget it. If she views your profile and doesn't respond it generally means not interested. Ignoring people in the internet world is easier than if they were standing 5 feet away from you asking about you.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 42
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 2/25/2013 10:17:08 AM
"Guys' messages are like junk mail...."

I'm sorry, but I find this patently offensive. I only send messages to women in whom I am interested to one degree or another. If they don't respond, that's fine.

HOWEVER, to state generally that "guys' messages are like "junk mail" is the most b*tchy, entitled, misandrist, 'princesslike' statement I have viewed in these forums. I would hope that women who post such statements NEVER get another message from any man on here.

With an attitude like that, you don't deserve to get messages!
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 44
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:11:50 AM

Most men on this site can't handle even the politest rejection note and we get very! very! nasty replies.
I thought it was rude at first not to reply to a well expressed and sincere message, that changed very fast.


I remember when I first came back here I messaged a girl and asked her about her interest. The girl emails me back a few seconds later and is like, "That's all you wanted to talk me about?! You're wack!" She mentioned something in her profile about music, but she got relied up to write me a reply. Very rare.

As a guy, I welcome all types of conversation online regardless if it's acceptance or rejection. If you're going to venture into this territory, best to have a thick skin.
 rainbowcolors
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 49
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 3/10/2013 12:29:13 PM

First, there are way more men online than women. Most women online have mailboxes filled with hundreds of messages from men.
This is true for women in their twenties, but not for the majority of women 40+.


So I would say many profiles are probably fake - especially the ones of good looking people. Good looking people are approached in the real world all the time. They don't need to go online for dates.
The men I've gone out with were good looking. They were trim with chiseled features and some with beautiful model hair and I am only a wee bit above average looking. I think some good looking people are on here for attention as some of them show off their abs and bodies. I don't mind 'cause it helps me determine if I want to touch that...! Ha ha

To answer the op, no response is a response. One has to get used to it and not allow it to damage the ego. What I dislike is when a person messages me three times in one month with the same copied and pasted message which leads to them being blocked because it's obvious they sending out hundreds of messages and don't recall who they've sent them too. Now that makes me feel special.
 ChantingQueen
Joined: 3/7/2013
Msg: 51
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:29:07 PM
It happens to girls as well...fyi
 Nj2ut
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 52
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 3/11/2013 2:16:34 PM
I sent someone a message for the first time in months a few days ago. nothing sexual, no "hi", read the profile and ask her a question at the end to get the conversation going. She didn't respond but the irony was in her profile it includes: "Plus if I send you a message please respond back".

These days I barely send out messages. My profile is up, if someone is interested they can send me message. If the interest is mutual, I will take it from there.
 glambeautybrains
Joined: 3/6/2013
Msg: 53
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:16:44 PM
I generally respond with a thanks, but, no thanks. However, after getting a inbox full of messages, it's becomes braising !!!
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 55
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 3/11/2013 8:15:02 PM
For me, a non reply is the best way to let someone know you are not interested. For those who say they think it is polite to send a "thanks, but not interested" reply, I have a question for you: Say you get a message from a person and she/he is overweight, which you are not interested in, he/she is not attractive to you which you are not interested in, he/she sounds uninteresting which makes you not interested in etc etc etc. When you give your "polite" reply, do you tell the person emailing you the EXACT reason you are not interested? I would say the answer the majority of the time is no you don't give your reason. My point is, if you don't give a reason, why do you think the "plastic" response of "thanks but not interested" is a polite way?? I don't think giving a reason should ever be explained with the examples I made. If a woman does not reply to me, I have my answer she is not interested. And that is fine, I don't need a reason. And for those that think it is "polite" to send a no thanks, I find it very impolite imo.
 tlwk
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 62
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 3/12/2013 11:37:27 AM
I agree! So many times I have politely expressed that I'm not interested, then received nasty emails or arguments. I don't need the drama! No reply avoids those things
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 64
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 4/5/2013 4:45:19 PM
Many other women have stated this and it's been my experience too. I used to think it was rude not to respond but it doesn't matter how respectful you try to be with a No, thank you, you get really nasty messages back and called names...most of which start with the letter B.
 jrich01963
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 69
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 4/8/2013 2:38:48 PM
To OP

Don't feel offended or read too much into "no reply". Its not that they are ignoring you. To me no reply simply means not interested or not ready.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 70
Common in Online Dating?
Posted: 4/13/2013 8:20:29 AM
You didnt do anything wrong by asking the question. There are alot of abusive, angry people that reply on the forums here, because people like you, to them, are an easy target. You are an easy punching bag for the many frustrated, lonely people out there. Stick around, watch how often it happens.

Anyway, the question you asked is asked by men about 3 times a day here. It's THE most common question. The answer is simple: they are not interested, and there are no "rules" here as far as anyone having to be "nice" and write you back.

For the record, as a woman, I myself rarely got responses back. So it happens to all of us.

POF is a pretty shabby place to find quality people anyway, so..if it doesnt work out, be relieved.
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