Maybe she was masturbating because you didn't want to have sex enough,and when she caught you doing it was pissed because she's been waiting for you to f*ck her
Yeah, but his point was that when she caught him masturbating after she said No, she flipped out. So a double-standard would apply if she found it OK to go into "self serve" when she felt he wasn't serving her enough.
she flips-out and doesn't speak to me for three days! Who's the bad guy here, or am I alone again in this situation?
I think what you're missing is that you're supposed to video tape YOU TWO having sex, and to masturbate to THAT. If you're masturbating to that, she won't have a problem. And she won't have a problem if you pass the video along to friends to do the same, too. That's the most important part. ;)