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 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 26
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Do you give second chances?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I give second chances sometimes. But they rarely work out. Like the time I got some milk from the frig. Found out it was sour. So I put it back, and waited a couple of days. Then I took it back out and tried it again. You might find this hard to believe, but it was still sour, even maybe a little more so. I think it's that way with relationships, and most other things in life as well.

But hey, what do I know. Maybe one of these days, the milk will not be sour the second time................
 RockyDakota
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 27
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/24/2013 5:21:21 PM
Plain and simple...no. Don't give in. He had someone else on the side, went with her, it didn't work out so now he's coming back to you. Don't be the backup.
 EyesRgreeN1962
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 28
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/24/2013 5:38:15 PM
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me ...

I'd give a second chance ... but they'll not be a third.
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 29
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/24/2013 5:54:43 PM
I would give second chances but then I'd only be interested in dating, not a live-in relationship.

Do you really like this guy? Does he turn you on? You need to decide what you want and start the negotiations rather than cop out at the first (imagined?) fault. If you persist you may be surprized at the satisfaction you could gain and stuff you could learn. Suppose you were to show more tolerance and only break it off after you were more certain that things wouldn't work out? It need not be any more risky. You are still in charge of you life and make your own decisions. How is the current strategy working out for you? Hope that helps.
 Aintnothang__
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 30
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/24/2013 7:12:14 PM
See that's just it. I'd much rather be told he's too busy and move on then just strung along or worse. I hold no grudges, life's too short. I do like him or I wouldn't be debating would I?

I appreciate all the different points of view on this one and when we have a conversation tomorrow face to face I will bring up some of them. There's a reason I'm wanting to figure this one out instead of just walking away as I've stated is my usual strategy.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 31
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/24/2013 7:44:51 PM

Plain and simple...no. Don't give in. He had someone else on the side, went with her, it didn't work out so now he's coming back to you. Don't be the backup.

This.

For some things I'll give a second chance and for some I won't. Finding another woman more interesting and coming back to me when that doesn't work out, which I agree is obviously what happened, no thank you. Someone else can have her seconds and I'll keep my self-respect.
 BrownSugar1224
Joined: 2/11/2013
Msg: 32
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/24/2013 8:10:07 PM
Depending on how well you like the guy it just might be worth giving him a second chance, but you have to guard your heart. I'd suggest that you play it safe for a while see if he is truly deserving of you. These guys will wine and dine you, but their level of commitment is lacking. I'm new to this site and have already experienced some bad apples. Make him meet you according to your terms. He might have been scared because of his feelings towards you. Find out from him what the problem really was and then you can make an informed decision as to whether or not he's worth it.
 Aintnothang__
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 33
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/24/2013 9:03:59 PM

For some things I'll give a second chance and for some I won't. Finding another woman more interesting and coming back to me when that doesn't work out, which I agree is obviously what happened, no thank you. Someone else can have her seconds and I'll keep my self-respect.


This.

I find it both humorous and sad you decide I have no self respect because I'm considering giving a man who I know to be a good man another chance. Oh I have self respect, I know my worth. What I'm not is jaded or naive. I also am not 18 years old wanting to get back together with a man who left me after cheating on me and leaving me destroyed. I'm going to find out exactly what it was that caused him to decide to leave and then come back. I think at our age we can agree sh*t happens and life does get in the way. If he found someone he thought was more interesting and then realized it wasn't? Alright then but at least he didn't continue making dates with me and then saw her as well.

I'm not looking for a serious relationship at the moment. I'm looking for someone I click with to spend time with when I have time. Seriously, if I ever become as jaded as some of you that have replied, I"ll give up dating because I won't give anyone a chance certain I'm just going to get f**ked over! And even if I do at least I put myself out there and not sat around wondering....
 N2H20
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 34
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/24/2013 9:49:05 PM
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That should be a good rule of thumb.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 35
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/25/2013 8:16:21 AM

Make him meet you according to your terms. He might have been scared because of his feelings towards you. Find out from him what the problem really was and then you can make an informed decision as to whether or not he's worth it.

That's terrible advice. I'm not goin to put in ALL of the work so I can make myself seem worthy of your attention. Both parties need to compromise and meet in the middle, and if they are both truly interested, that's exactly what will happen.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 36
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/25/2013 10:28:54 AM

He might have been scared because of his feelings towards you.

That's girl-think. Guys are a lot simpler and more straightforward than that. If a man isn't spending time with a woman (barring extreme circumstances, such as, he had to go to Sri Lanka for work), it's because he doesn't want to.

He wasn't that into her, and has now decided she'll do anyway, probably because the woman he really liked blew him off. He's settling.
 awesomeo4000
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 37
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/25/2013 12:00:21 PM
I think a second chance is reasonable here. Like others said though, keep your guard up.

Word of advice. Don't let him borrow any movies. That automatically got me a third chance with a girl once.
 mmmkayyy
Joined: 1/20/2013
Msg: 38
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/25/2013 12:38:19 PM
There is alot of reasons people start to act cold and uncaring after meeting them on this website. The biggest reason I find is that they find someone they are more interested in and want to keep others in trail as a backup. I wouldn't give him another chance if it were me, and I wouldn't believe his story about his job situation as being the reason.
 justgowithit74
Joined: 1/26/2013
Msg: 39
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/25/2013 3:14:13 PM
@RockyDakota
That was my thought exactly
 barnabyjames1
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 40
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/25/2013 5:09:34 PM
If they cheat; HELL NO!!!! Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater, and how can you trust someone like that anyways? why would you? If they truely "loved you", they wouldnt have done that, right? no one had a gun to their heads forcing them to do it.
 Aintnothang__
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 41
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/25/2013 5:10:45 PM
Lol who said anything about cheating or love?
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 42
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/25/2013 9:14:54 PM
as the saying goes, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me...
 LucidTheory
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 43
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Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/25/2013 9:54:31 PM
Yes I do. And to my chagrin a 3rd, 4th, or whatever - until I learn differentiate all the possible similar scenarios and be able to avoid them.

Sometimes situations arrive that don't always look like the one you had before initially, so you give it a chance. Then you realize that the outcome of the situation is remarkably similar to like the one you had before. What you are going to do? Avoid ALL birds because of the one that sh*tted on your car? Or just avoid that one similar bird that did - even tho all have the potential to do the same thing (that is - sh*t on your car).

I don't really trip off of making the same mistakes more than once or several times. The question is - can I learn to differentiate the difference and learn from them?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 44
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Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/26/2013 11:53:47 AM
I gave a guy a second chance once, it ended just as messed up as the first time.
 Single_Dad_Dave
Joined: 4/21/2012
Msg: 45
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/26/2013 11:04:01 PM

So I'm gonna stick with my plan as always and never ever give into a second chance no matter how badly they try to convince u. If u effed up on the first chance, that's all u get.


Second chances aren't always a good idea, but people are people and not perfect.

Never giving a second chance might explain why you're 34 and never had a relationship that's lasted a year.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 46
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/27/2013 1:35:38 PM
Sounds like he might have someone else in the wings and he found out she wasn't the one and now back to you. This is just a guess.. but I have seen it many times
 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 47
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/27/2013 9:14:03 PM
As the song goes, "too many fish in the sea..."
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 48
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 2/27/2013 11:14:05 PM
Sorry I think he has either a partner or others on the string. It depends on how much you like him whether you continue with him and find out the truth. You must feel something for him or you would not have bothered to mention him in the forum. If a guy does not have time for me, I would walk. He is kind of keeping you on the back burner.
 WolfSpirit29
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 49
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 3/1/2013 10:18:29 AM
A saying that should help....

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

I stick to that and have never given anyone a 2nd chance to hurt me in anyway.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 50
Do you give second chances?
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:57:05 PM
If you are going to go on a date with this man, just make sure to verify the chances of him cancelling on you. If there is even a 10% chance that something else might come up where he has to cancel... then just say, "No. I'm not going to go out with you if there is a chance you will cancel" Sometimes it is easier to meet a very busy person for lunch for an hour than it is to schedule a date. And for sure... say NO to all offers to come over to your place after 9:00. Try to focus on dating until you build better trust or realize that he is NOT the one for you.

I have no problems with giving someone a second chance when it comes to going out on a date and doing something fun. However, the statement he made about liking you but not wanting to lead you on... that sounds a little like someone who isn't looking for a relationship... possibly with you. It probably would be wise to not take things too seriously and date others as well until you get a better read on this guy.
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