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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30'      Home login  
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 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 76
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
MOST of the posts on here are personal attacks. As for me, I prefer women with no children cause I can't afford them, and sometimes other people children ARE monsters. My sister doesn't believe in discipline of any kind for her children and they are terrible.
 JenSnider
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 77
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 2/28/2013 3:32:45 PM
^Or, vice versa, the person who stays with the single parent because they've formed an attachment to their children, when they don't have a healthy relationship with the parent.
 mainelythere
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 78
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 2/28/2013 4:59:26 PM

The problem I have is making it sound like single parents are used up trash, and good for nobody. They might not be good for you, but there are plenty of people who don't have a problem dating someone with children.

I dont think anyone is even implying that, but i STAND by my comment that kids ARE a financial and time drain. This is true and applies to the BEST parents in the world. I have a hard time justifying their resource drain of other peoples kids in MY relationship.


THIS in no way is a judgment on the parents. There are lots of major lifestyle issues that people have no problem saying they arent interested in, but for some reason people use PLEASE OF EMOTION when talking about kids to make their counter point.
Whether people like the comparison or not, Id have a hard time dating someone with 10 siberian huskies, a crippling disease or some sort of psychosis too, but no one faults me for not wanting to have those people as mates.
 buterfly41978
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 79
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 2/28/2013 6:31:13 PM
No, I don't think they are monsters for not wanting to date people with kids.

As a single mother I don't think I know how I feel about wanting to date someone that does not have kids.
 CouldBWow
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 80
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 2/28/2013 7:56:05 PM
I am a single parent, and I dont think its wrong for someone to not be interested in people with kids. We all have the right to determine what we do or dont want in a partner. Although by the 30's one is limiting their dating pool quite a bit with that decision, but its their choice to make!
 lynguistik
Joined: 5/10/2011
Msg: 81
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 2/28/2013 8:38:49 PM
It's not so terrible to want someone without kids, especially if you don't have any yourself. BUT, let's face it, you're asking a lot to expect to find someone in her 30s who hasn't been in a relationship that produced a child. Personally, NOT having a child at such an advanced age may be just as much of a red flag as having one or two. You may want to lighten up on this criterion. Keep it under your hat for your own personal reflections when considering a possible match, but don't put it out there like it's no big deal. I mean, come on bro, we're in our 30s! Now is not the time to be picky, especially if the girl is amazing in so many other respects.
 mainelythere
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 82
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/1/2013 5:56:31 AM
Please Bro, for one thing we live to 80 these days, 30 is pretty young. And why is 30 some magical number that now I am supposed to enter into a situation I dont want?

There are a lot of gorgeous intelligent women aged 25-35 who don't have kids yet. The say I should instead drop a major requirement of mine merely because that pool is smaller is ridiculous.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 83
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History
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:55:35 AM
The average age that men and women marry or even have kids is increasing sharply on a yearly basis So, I am not sure the old wives tale that the pool of available singles with no kids is shrinking by the 30's holds true anymore. Most single parents under the age of 25 these days are single because a lot of kids are born due to poor or no use of birth control methods and out of wedlock. It is rare for a women in her 20's these days to have kids and be married.

 mainelythere
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 84
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/1/2013 7:19:39 AM
Very true, myself for instance ive had ample opportunity to have kids but the time wasnt financially right, ironically my caution is why i dont have kids
 JimInJax
Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 85
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/1/2013 8:12:57 AM
I made a decision long ago that I didn't want to have children. I was so sure in fact, I had a vasectomy a few years ago. I had the opportunity, and just decided for personal reasons that it wasn't a life I wanted for myself.

I've dated women with kids, and without. While personally I wouldn't rule out a woman with older kids (16 and up or so), I do agree it changes the dynamic in a relationship for me. EX: I love to travel and I like to go when it's off-season. Can't really do that when someone has kids. All activities have to accommodate the child first - are they with their dad? Are they in school? Do they have soccer that night?. So for a single guy like me, it is limiting. But for the right woman, I would change my lifestyle for a few years until the child was out of the house on their own.

Most people with kids that I have known (at least the good parents) put their children first, AS THEY SHOULD. That means I would always be a secondary consideration. One has to accept that when they date someone with children. If you can't, or don't want to, then by dating someone with kids, you do both of you a disservice. I have proven this time and time again and men, if that's not something you can handle, then don't date her.

I think that people that are dating in their 30's (or 40's in my case) have to really evaluate what it is that they want if they are looking for something more than just casual dating and be honest with people about it.

Just my $.02.

Jim
 Amcmmgz
Joined: 11/8/2012
Msg: 86
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/1/2013 9:53:35 AM
No monsters here. It's great you know what you want and don't want. I have an independent 21 year old. But when he was younger I would've much rather a guy pass on me than just barely tolerate my child. There are no monsters here. I'm not wanting to date someone with kids either or at least have kids that are grown and on their own. It's just a lifestyle choice. And yes, it is hard to take on someone children. It is a lot of responsibility. I love my (former) two step children as much as my own but not wanting to do it again. Lifestyle choices.
 MR~DON
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 87
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/1/2013 10:01:19 AM
It's stupid for a person to think that there going to date someone of becoming age and expect thattey never, or don't have kids..That's like dating a firefighter and expect that when he goes to work he isn't risking his life..This argument is stupid and this question is reall an inmature stance on a subject that should be like in a 20's year old forum..just my opinion..point blank, if you don't wantto date a person with children- perhaps 25 and below would be the range....I'm just saying...
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 88
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/1/2013 12:50:19 PM
It's more of a stupid thing to think just cause someone is over 30 then they must have kids. While many do, There are many who don't have kids.
There is nothing wrong not wanting to date a single parent. But then there are some that don't care if the other person has kids or not and then there are some who are looking for a single parent. I'm 46 and I would not date a single parent and I don't care how old or young the kids are. I know what that mean for my dating life and I don't care. Same time if you run the search for women in there 40s and as picky as my search is there are still over 600 profiles show up. So there are lots of single women with no kids out there. All within 10 miles of my location. So what I'm saying is that just cause you get older don't mean you don't have choices ( that don't mean all the choices are great).
 rgvmale
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 89
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/1/2013 4:44:26 PM
really mr.don O.o really?
 slydave
Joined: 2/1/2008
Msg: 90
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/2/2013 10:00:31 AM
Amen! Out of all the post under this category, yours, by far, hits the nail directly on the head. The truth of the matter is that there are more guys in our country that are less willing to date single moms. There are also more women that are less likely to date men whom does not want the responsibility of raising another man's kids. Therefore, there must be a mutual concensus on the situation. I believe we, as Americans, have grown far too opinionated thus having very specific "preferences." Honestly, some of our "preferences" really are quite far fetched. Basically, we are replacing "looking for love" with "looking for preferences." This says to me that we are no longer thinking for ourselves, but rather allowing outside interferences to influence our decisions. The way I am is that I think for my self disregarding any outside influence. With that being said, if I find a woman attractive and interesting on here, with or without kids, I'm going to talk to her! Men, that's where our focus should be directed. To everyone, free your self from being politically correct and give life and love a chance again.
 slydave
Joined: 2/1/2008
Msg: 91
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/2/2013 10:06:00 AM
@vestaceres Amen! Out of all the post under this category, yours, by far, hits the nail directly on the head. The truth of the matter is that there are more guys in our country that are less willing to date single moms. There are also more women that are less likely to date men whom does not want the responsibility of raising another man's kids. Therefore, there must be a mutual concensus on the situation. I believe we, as Americans, have grown far too opinionated thus having very specific "preferences." Honestly, some of our "preferences" really are quite far fetched. Basically, we are replacing "looking for love" with "looking for preferences." This says to me that we are no longer thinking for ourselves, but rather allowing outside interferences to influence our decisions. The way I am is that I think for my self disregarding any outside influence. With that being said, if I find a woman attractive and interesting on here, with or without kids, I'm going to talk to her! Men, that's where our focus should be directed. To everyone, free your self from being politically correct and give life and love a chance again.
 evgod
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 92
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/2/2013 9:23:26 PM
hell its wrong because it is wrong. if you dont have kids you probably dont want to get stuck taking care of someone elses. and you shouldn't have to and you aren't prepared for it anyway. I'm one of them. i have kids and seems to me most everyone on here does too. it's really bad that being a slut and an unforgiving, grudge holding , having five kids with five different partners is perfectly acceptable in todays society and is almost encouraged. if you ask me its because of irreconcilable differences, feminazism, materialism and other power hungry ***holes that have no interest in being good people or are misguided enough to believe they have to walk away from commitments in order to respect themselves or be happy. Life is hard then you die. people dont accept that though and always want to trade up. why is it that women always "fall for the wrong guy" rely on someone else to make you happy or to complete you or just sleep around or just end up with someone else that did that and you will wind up in the same situation. i always turn from a profile when it says some shit like "i am me and i dont want to change" or when the profile is looking for a "man with a good job" or a variety of other phrases that tell me this person has there head in their ass and i feel sorry for some fool is going to bite hard.
well that ought to piss some people off.
 evgod
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 93
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/2/2013 9:29:05 PM
oh hey man btw you should be glad they want you bad enough to try to attack you on the issue and laugh about it. maybe even say sorry to see what happens. in the end it shouldnt really matter if they have kids or not. go on a date with them and dont eliminate them for it right away. that might be a good idea. but as someone else said it's about you and what you want. so...
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 94
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:28:37 AM
Why to go out with them? What to get attracted to them start like ing then n dealing with their kids when u know that just recapture for disaster. No thanks. Been there done it. No way if u don't have kids u don't need hat headache stick to childless ppl. That's mu post form the other forum that's why


Well doesn't later what I or anyone else calls them. It is what it is. One u never be number one is someone's lives well I don't want to be second they never have me eh n time. Well when the weekend come around I want to go do stuff not waiting around when u don't have middle sit in bc u broke. Sometimes their kid just drain them so we have to chill again. N I want my own two kids it's easier to buy two cars then four send to kids to college than two but prop guy would not like to have two more. Looking at ur kid will aliways temInd me that u had something very special with someone else. If we to have kidS my first one won't be ur First one. U all prop best parent ever n ur kids are best thing that ever walked the earth. I GET IT. But they are draing tieding whining n why I god earth I would want to put up with that when I'm not working. I'm working in schools so I'm def not a kid hater. But u date get married n have kids no t other way around. I also forgot to mention vacation no intend going to Disney before I will have my own kids weekends waiting for u until mom dad picks them up. Forgot about going away for weekend n sleeping in on weekends with lil kids u can't do that. Single parents needs to keep it I'm mind. That is a lot to give up for someone's else's kids. Even if they are perfect. Some guy I went out with asked me if I'm sure I do t have any bc they would like family but not with some other man kids so I'm not alone on that. I guess that is why that's all
 evgod
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 95
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/4/2013 6:51:11 PM
yea well it's also true that everyone has problems. kids are a nuisance to some people. while a cherished luxury to others such as myself. still i could be a selfish little kid too and pretend that my partner didn't exist before we met and demand that I have incredible needs that they must be met...etc. there are some people that just aren't going to be happy no matter what, in some situations that's why they don't have kids and its probably for the better because no can stand them and if they did the kids would be worse then they are. look at this way dude, do what you want but be careful either way. you are not really going to fully understand a persons circumstances even if they explain it to you in the greatest detail they can. I'd say don't be an arrogant piece of crap if you can, but don't get sucked into some dumb cows web either. lots of these girls are just looking for a tool and that's all you'll ever be to them.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 96
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:37:06 AM
Selfish or needy really? If u wanted to have kids good for u. Just some girls didn't and they want fresh start some have kids and want more so looking to guys without n some don't have any n don't want to have any. How this is selfish childilss or want ever u want to call it. I never said u made bad choice by having kids thay rarly in ur life or that many or whatever or what kind of person u are since u now divorced. But I don't. So leave u rude comment to yourself bc I know nothing about me or ppl who chose date chiles individuals bc they have that choice
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 97
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:58:47 AM
And then there's the women who look at the guy's profile and say.......BABYSITTER

LOL!

If she says, you'll make a great role model for her children, kindly excuse yourself and RUN!
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 98
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:33:23 AM
It works both way lol.
 TangoUnchained
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 99
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History
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/7/2013 5:12:02 PM
it isn't wrong... it just is what it is. Some people are totally into integrating into a family, or having a combined family. What most people who do it say, if the relationship goes sour, is that it's harder to give up the kids than the partner.

Take that for whatever you want.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 100
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:19:29 AM
@KatrzynaLuiza all I can say is I wish you were in my area. It's mad rare to find a woman without kids in my neck of the woods.
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