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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30'      Home login  
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 sweettea091
Joined: 7/31/2015
Msg: 141
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Only men seem to have this mentality. I, personally, love kids! I don't see what the big deal is unless the kid hated you lol.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 142
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/9/2015 5:21:46 PM
Sweettea091- Not true.
I know two childless couples and one of the things that brought them together was that neither wanted children.
I always wanted children, so I had them, but not everyone does.
Since I am a mother, men who don't want children are a no go for me, but I don't consider them wrong for it.
It's one of the biggest choices a person can make in life and if someone doesn't want children, they shouldn't have them.
I don't stress if a man tells me it's a deal breaker, nor do I think less of him, if anything he gets points for honesty.
I just think, oh well, we aren't compatible, and move on.
Just a different perspective to think about with this issue.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 143
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/10/2015 3:50:03 PM

Only men seem to have this mentality. I, personally, love kids! I don't see what the big deal is unless the kid hated you lol.


Not wanting to date a woman with kids doesn't mean that you don't like kids. Children are a big responsibility and not everybody wants that responsibility in their life. It's just a preference like any other preference. And yes, believe it or not there are women who are not interested in having their own children own dating a man with kids.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 144
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/11/2015 5:42:24 PM

Not wanting to date a woman with kids doesn't mean that you don't like kids. Children are a big responsibility and not everybody wants that responsibility in their life. It's just a preference like any other preference. And yes, believe it or not there are women who are not interested in having their own children own dating a man with kids.


Totally. I like kids just find, and I'm super sad I don't have a sibling so I can be the aunt. (my best friend lives in winnipeg and I only get to be aunty alli way way way not enough).
I just know I'd not be suitable to raise my own, nor do I want them in my life permanently. I feel better recognizing that than if I were to lie to myself and put a child in an unfair environment.
As for men, if the kids are in their later teens or over 18 then thats cool. So I'm generally looking at men in their mid to later 40s and hope they got it on with their ex early in life :)
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 145
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/12/2015 2:33:25 PM

she is a she. A non-male.


Are you sure about that. Could she be a un-male instead? Kind of like the Un-cola. Right.

Sorry BDJ, just having some fun and I found the statement, and your emphatic approach quite interesting.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 146
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/12/2015 9:10:12 PM

Only men seem to have this mentality. I, personally, love kids! I don't see what the big deal is unless the kid hated you lol.


Damn. I hate having to disagree with a hottie, but if there's one thing I am, it's objective. You are wrong about this, I'm afraid. In fact, I do recall several posts from women in this very forum who have said they are looking for men who don't have young children.

I love kids, too. Most of time, I would rather be around them than most adults. I generally don't hear children bellyaching about how miserable their lives are. I have no problem with women with children, either. I had a very good relationship with my last girlfriend's sons, and really hate that it had to end as a result of our break up.

However, I don't want children of my own. I can't for the life of me imagine trying to raise children in today's world. F*ck that. I also can't fault anyone who has already raised children not wanting to repeat the process with someone else.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 147
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/13/2015 12:08:24 AM
I am one such, child free, woman who is not interested in a man with young children.
Any children must be adult and completely independent.

Have I tried it... YES.
Did the kids ALWAYS come first and me a long way back.. YES

No thank you.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 148
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/13/2015 12:56:03 AM

Most of time, I would rather be around them than most adults. I generally don't hear children bellyaching about how miserable their lives are.


You're quite right. There's some evidence that children actually have a higher self-esteem than adults- they think a lot of themselves. Except for the one's that are bullied, but that's a different story.

I like kids, but I just don't think that I have time for them right now. It wouldn't be fair for me to date a woman with children when I can't take on that responsibility.
 Witnesstomythoughts
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 149
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/13/2015 8:18:51 AM

We live in a time in which Political Correctness has run amok, and so practically any and all dating "preferences" a person might have are bound to "offend"....SOMEONE.





Yes, here's an updated list of what WAS ok and is NOW ok :




obese = people of size




senior citizen = person of advanced years




poverty stricken = experiencing poverty




rich = person of material wealth




tomboy = gender non conforming




foreigner = international people




homosexual = same gender loving
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 150
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/13/2015 10:35:20 AM

Msg 161: I can't for the life of me imagine trying to raise children in today's world. F*ck that.


What's funny is I heard this same line in the 70's, 80's, 90's, 2000's. People were probably saying that in the early 1900's. Will there ever be a time when people will say: "This is a perfect era for raising kids"?
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 151
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 8/13/2015 7:52:44 PM


What's funny is I heard this same line in the 70's, 80's, 90's, 2000's. People were probably saying that in the early 1900's. Will there ever be a time when people will say: "This is a perfect era for raising kids"?


Wow, you've made me do a complete 180 degree turn on my feelings about the matter. I will go knock a woman up tomorrow night.
 foreverbelieving79
Joined: 8/28/2015
Msg: 152
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 9/6/2015 8:34:44 PM
I would clearly state it as politely as possible in your profile, if it was me.

Personally, I do think it's quite shallow and immature, but it's up to you. It's your life. You have the right to choose only to date childless men.
 A6K
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 153
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 9/17/2015 4:10:07 PM
Nothing, but pickings are slim. So maybe that's a false assumption you've unintentionally created in your mind from lack of positive responses. You're dealing with a slim demographic in you're area possibly.
If you're short and unattractive like me, it's even slimmer.
So be glad you're not in my shoes.
 denialism
Joined: 9/26/2015
Msg: 154
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/4/2015 10:13:54 AM
Not dating a single parent cause their lifestyle is different from yours... how dare you. You're also a monster if you don't date people who exercise seven days a week or play video games 23hrs a day. You should always settle for someone completely unappealing whose interests and lifestyle conflict with yours, and they totally shouldn't have a physical appearance you find desirable because that's discrimination.
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 155
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/4/2015 10:44:43 AM
nothing wrong with it. i selected no to the would date men with children question on the profile. doesn't mean I absolutely wouldn't, I mean who knows if the person I meet wherever in public has 1 or 2 kids. But online, POF, gives me the option so I use it.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 156
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/4/2015 11:00:33 AM
I think it's perfectly fine.

When I was in my 30's I sought to date only women with kids. You're just in a different place when you have minor children. It's not an issue of right and wrong - it's a matter of compatible lifestyles.
 denialism
Joined: 9/26/2015
Msg: 157
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/4/2015 11:02:17 AM
Life is ridiculous, we're all completely ridiculous, and we become better people for understanding this. I mean, the actual odds of us existing in the first place are so confoundingly impossible, never question your motives unless you intend to hurt yourself or another person. Be yourself at all costs. Love who you want, hate who you want, just don't be indifferent or allow materialism to bash you from any angle.
 baconflavoredbacon
Joined: 9/12/2015
Msg: 158
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/4/2015 11:34:38 AM
I'm in my thirties, and I won't date any man with children.

Since I don't care if they think I'm being unfair by not pairing with them, I'll continue to do as I wish.

I'd wager that if I was unappealing to them and they reject my profile. they'd consider it a human right.

It goes both ways.
 denialism
Joined: 9/26/2015
Msg: 159
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/5/2015 10:45:23 AM
No one's obligated to date anyone. A monster, apart from mythology, is a person who finds relief in causing others to suffer. I'll date some freaking Martians if Earthlings don't satisfy me, so what. I'll get legally married to a piece of amethyst by someone ordained as a minister on the Internet, so what, none of your business, we live in modern times.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 160
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History
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/6/2015 5:06:15 PM
It is NOT wrong.

However, unless you're upper middle class to downright, affluent (the crowd that announces their weddings in the Sunday NY Times), and are dating in that same socio-economic class, you will catch hell trying to find any quantity of "regular" people in their 30's with no children. Obviously, they exist, but they're few and far between.

While I would prefer to date a woman without children (and who does NOT want any), those are very few and far between in the 35 and up age group. And, the bad news is..........................my coworkers tell me, that the women are even more obnoxious as grandmothers than they were as mothers. Women in their 50's & 60's who now want to pick up and move halfway across the country......................so they can be closer to Lil Johnny.

Hell, nowadays depending on your demographic, it's damned difficult to find if you're over 25.

Back in my 20's, I was adamant about not dating women with children. It was DAMNED hard to find them even then, but I was extremely fortunate.

C'mon, the reasons are quite obvious and plentiful. Mainly, I didn't need the drama of some guy who was giving his 'baby momma' $100/week (if that), in MY life. He breaks her off with some chump change and thinks he has say so.

Secondly, if I decided I wanted to go somewhere or do something on the spur of the moment (with her), that was pretty much out of the question, unless she had really liberal parents.

Thirdly, I just did not want to hear about, "Baby daddy did, or did NOT do such and such." and/or "Lil Johnny is a genius because he drew a circle in his 9th grade class."

Sounds harsh, but I just did not care, and at that time, I had many more options than I do now.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 161
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/6/2015 9:11:59 PM
On one part I would not agree with you.. There are plenty of women with no kids at list here in LA area.
I'm in the same boat as you are and will not date a women with kids no matter how old the kids are. Its in the same category as I wont date a smoker or a drug user. I done it once before and learned from it. Never do it again and advice all my friends not to date a single parent. Here in LA there are so many single never married women that there is plenty to go around.
 1_35M
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 162
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/18/2015 11:14:38 AM
I came across the same issue. I was very polite about it and got a person ready to fight me sending hate messages. Having a kid is one of the biggest decisions of your life. It seems everybody is trying to force that decision on us. :(
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 163
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History
Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 10/18/2015 7:35:12 PM
i have been a single parent for like 9 years now and never dated a man with kids either. Kids scare the hell out of me as well.
 UnKnownNYMale
Joined: 6/24/2014
Msg: 164
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Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 11/24/2015 1:01:59 PM
I don't understand. I too have seen posts from women saying they don't want to date a man with kids, even if they are adult and on their own.

I can certainly see, and agree myself, about not wanting to date someone with young school age children living at home, since I am past that phase now...not something I would want to do either, but if they are adults and on their own?

I don't get it. Is this for selfish reasons?.....because they might want to spend some time with their adult children once-in-a-while? What about someone with siblings, or parents? Are they out too? ...."Undatable!!!!"
 GoodVibes7
Joined: 7/3/2010
Msg: 165
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Why is it so wrong to not want to date a person with kids in your 30's?
Posted: 11/24/2015 1:15:50 PM
Why is PoF preventing me from logging in ??
It notified my email (goodvibes1378@yahoo.com) that I had mail, but when I try to log in, the screen just stays the same but with my password dots erased. I changed my password, & the same keeps happening. Don't know why PoF is letting me write here, but not letting me view my mail.
And of course it lets me view "Upgrade."
If anybody can help me out, please email me at goodvibes1378@yahoo.com ~ thanx !!
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