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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 226
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!Page 10 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
ABC style vs what? Mandarin?

Getting a house sure beats coming up with a down payment first or having to serve your country to qualify for a 0 down loan.

NEXT!
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 227
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 10:34:20 AM

Pig, I'm trying to figure out how to say this, without pizzing you off, but I would suggest you do some reading, into what went on while you were gone.
You are a grown man, you have never disrespected me, nor am I disrespecting you, I am simply trying to clue you in.


I wasn't picking on her. I only attacked her words and tactics, then mentioned how her posting style paralleled someone else's. (in certain aspects)

And yes, it was Vicki. She followed Charmin around from the top to the bottom of the forums searching for anything to take jabs at her over. Then, as I mentioned, she was the sole defender of rockntrucker, who was notorious in his belief that women who received nasty messages "probably did something to deserve it."
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 228
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 10:39:19 AM

Getting a house sure beats coming up with a down payment first or having to serve your country to qualify for a 0 down loan.

In my case the down payment came from money I brought into the marriage. None of it was his.

NEXT!

^^^ lololol I just wanted to shout NEXT! Carry on.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 229
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 10:54:01 AM
^^^lol, did you actually shout it?

Funny, I remember people following her around to make comments. She had some looong chats on here with NG and even then, instead of people leaving them to it, they'd post telling them both to knock it off.

I liked charmin's post, did she get booted?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 230
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 11:09:02 AM

Pig I don't think you mean Charmin I think you mean Karma

I agree -- I don't believe it was Charmin, the way he describes said gal in her writing.

While I might not agree with NewYorker58, at times, I admit, she is more "Old school" than I am (and I AM old school, somewhat), I'm growing weary of these attacks on her, because I have not seen anything she has done to deserve it.

It has been overly harsh on here just now - lol. I'll agree that she can have conflicting/contradictory points sometimes... and combined with stubbornness it can get frustrating. But yeah, too harsh on her in this vibe. I think she should have a more open mind to her POVs... which goes a long way for someone when they make conflicting/contradictory points. I know what you mean by "old school", but I don't see that as a fitting label, tho. In some ways, yes she is, but in some ways, no. I think overall it's more of an overall POV that can be found with some old-school people -- "How I grew up and what I was taught in life is not just my comfort zone and how I roll, but it is The Right and Correct way -- because that's how I was raised. Except for some of the things I didn't like." I think it's more like people who get warm-fuzzies feeling/being "old school" in and of itself (always makes my eyes roll). Anyway, with all that said: NY58 Can be reasonable, tho... and I agree that the heat got a little too strong on her in this thread.

Some women play hard to get, some don't. Focus on the ones who don't. Easy peasy. :)

Yeah, but that doesn't answer the question. :) It just says "Don't ask, just move on from ones who are hard to get." :)

'Faking it 'til you make it' isn't just a corny phrase - it's a way of life for far too many.

Fake it till you make it -- can be fruitful, but also dangerous. I agree that when it becomes a way of life, that ain't good. I think too many people don't "make it", but they just feel they did after faking it.

if a woman realizes she can get away with playing hard to get, she's still playing a game.

And sometimes she doesn't realize it. She's just "looking out for herself" -- ie being in her comfort zone in doing so. It's more Acceptable for a gal to do this, for her comfort-zone and to get (knock on wood) what she wants in the scene.... but if (gasp) a GUY plays hard to get, to play that chord to generate interest in certain pretty gals who are always chased... oh, he's an evil player! :)

And yes, it was Vicki. She followed Charmin around from the top to the bottom of the forums searching for anything to take jabs at her over.

Yes, that's right! Vicki, the British gal. I was actually friends with both -- even though I'd always argue with Vicki, but it was rarely actual fighting or anything. Vicki suffered from the "stubbornness is a virtue; having a POV from how I was raised being incorrect cannot exist" syndrome - lol. But she did end up opening up about it some, which was good. But unfortunately, some people aren't raised to be objective.

^^^ lololol I just wanted to shout NEXT! Carry on.

Yeah, it always makes me Cringe when gals (or guys) exclaim that phrase of self-pride. When one does though, they Must flip their hair! Necessary requirement! ;)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 231
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 11:57:11 AM
I'd forgotten about V. She also seemed to be crushing on a couple of guys so would defend them to the death. She would also announce she was leaving - then didn't.
I could be had for a couple of soft shell tacos today. As if today different from any other day. Grilled shrimp ones
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 232
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 12:02:04 PM
Heard she moved to Federal Way.

Shipping case of 2 buck chuck to....Federal Way...
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 233
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 12:29:12 PM

She would also announce she was leaving - then didn't.


Well yeh....but....she did.

No I'm not defending her or crushing on her, just sayin


---goal---
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 234
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 1:08:07 PM
yea, only took a year :) I always figured she got back with her Ex.
When ppl leave I think they have met someone
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 235
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 1:09:10 PM
Forumslady, thank you for your kindness!

These forums are such a bashfest. Still, I can't believe that people that do this go to sleep and say to themselves, "I really got him" or "I really got her good". People who are strong and confident don't care what you say (to the bashers), and people who do care may be beaten down by downright nastiness and mean-spirited comments. This internet bullying is very common these days. Kids are losing their lives over it. Does anyone ever pause to think about that? People are going to jail for bullying people to the point where they kill themselves. Not everyone is strong and in a good place to deal with bullying.

Nestaron, I don't look down at anyone for what they make or for what they don't have. I'm just a regular blue collar gal that was middle income when I worked. Sure, I do want someone who can do things with me that I like to do, so they should be financially stable. When I read profiles and see men wanting to do things that require a lot of money, I don't feel offended because I can't afford to all the things these people want to do so I can't date them. I don't think these men are saying they're going to pay for a woman to do these things with them, and I'd rather be with someone where we both can afford to do the same things we want to do together.

Pig, all the hoopla is over my stating if a guy asks a woman out, he should pay for that date. My thoughts are if you can't afford the date, choose something less expensive. I don't have my hand out when I invite men over for dinner to repay me for my time shopping, cooking, serving and cleaning up after the meal and then the cost of the food. It's not my world where men are taking me out for dinner all the time or expensive dinners. Good for you ladies, if you're being wined and dined at expensive dinners, but when a guy pays $100, half of that is for his meal. For myself, I've never had a dinner that was more than $30, tax and tip included. There may be one dinner and then it tends to go to hanging out at my place where I provide snacks and most times rented movies. I'm not complaining, but I'm also not going to go dutch when a guy pays for the rare restaurant meal.

Real life, I end up putting out much more money in the long run. People here are saying go dutch, alternate who pays, offer to pay the tip. I feel this is all very petty and the guy is being cheap to expect this. If you can't afford a date, do something creative as opposed to spending too much, and if you're cheap, just stay home. I sit hear laughing at the thought of telling a guy, ya know, the meal I just cooked for you, I could use money to offset the costs, LOL!!! There goes my pampering him, right out the window and ruining his night with pettiness. If you're going to do something for someone, do it with a good heart and don't look for something in return. If you're with a good person, they won't take advantage of your kindness.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 236
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 1:33:32 PM
At this stage of life I can't be bothered with games like chase me , SHOW ME YOU WANT ME - life is too short and I want a woman in the same key as me
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 237
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 238
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 2:05:52 PM

Show 'n' Tell?

Right?!?! I got excited. Maybe we might get a wee bit of excitement around these parts.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 239
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 2:14:58 PM

When ppl leave I think they have met someone

Ooooh, so you're Not really with Jason? (... adjusting my hair with comb from back pocket ...) ;)

Still, I can't believe that people that do this go to sleep and say to themselves, "I really got him" or "I really got her good".

I don't. I think going to sleep saying that to themselves is not from the forums, but instead from the dating section -- after hooking up on the 1st date, as the other is doing a walk-of-shame to their car, to drive home. ;) But in all seriousness, I never think what you refer to. If any sort of satisfying thought that'd ever be had, it'd be more like "Phew, okay, we can see more eye to eye."

When I read profiles and see men wanting to do things that require a lot of money, I don't feel offended because I can't afford to all the things these people want to do so I can't date them.

Wait though -- I don't get it IF you're sticking to guy-always-pays-when-out. So you see a profile of a guy who goes out and does stuff that costs good $$. A more expensive lifestyle than your single life operates by, which is understandable, ok. But you believe that outings are paid for by the guy, unless she's treating him to a birthday or something. I don't see how you could see it as "I can't date him," when IF you were to date a guy, you'd expect him to be paying for virtually all the outings anyway.

My thoughts are if you can't afford the date, choose something less expensive.

And the gal should be thinking that too, right?

It's not my world where men are taking me out for dinner all the time or expensive dinners.

Yeah, but dinners aren't the only expense. And they don't have to be expensive to have multiples adding up.

I've never had a dinner that was more than $30, tax and tip included.

Between two people -- Never? Before I get to that, remember that this isn't about You or a guy or gal who in the opposite direction wants to go on mini-vacations across country every weekend, either. Take a TYPICAL couple and their scenario, if one were to put generic expectations on boys & girls all-around... Say they go to a casual dining place for dinner and just a couple drinks each -- say it's Applebees going inexpensive with their 2 for $20 deal:
- 2 for $20 = $20 [includes appetizer]
- 4 inexpensive drinks = $18
- Tip = $7.60
- Sales Tax = $3.80 [9.5% in King County]
= TOTAL: $49.40

Even at just 1 drink each (and water) -- it's still going to be around $40, not around $50. So NEVER a dinner out more than $30? How often Do you see the bill, as someone who thinks a guy Should always pay (thus take the check every time)? :) And a date isn't just out to dinner. Maybe they don't drink during that dinner and it is Just Over $30. Sure, that's something for a weekday thing. But what about a weekend? Drinks after? Or going to some event that isn't uber-expensive? Still, Stuff Adds Up.

Pig, all the hoopla is over my stating if a guy asks a woman out, he should pay for that date.

Depends on the context in which you mean asks her out. In another post, you agreed that if she's not always cooking for him as you do -- that she should contribute (if able to; within her means) when going out, right? So just trying to get one the right page here.

I think too many people stretch things to seem like he's "asking her out" aka "asking to Take her out". True for anything close to a classic 1st date situation. But certainly not the default when he's not chasing her for her time (like pre-1st dates certainly can be). They can hit it off and be talking all the time after a 1st date, and embedded in conversation when talking about X or Y, he could suggest/say/ask for them to do X or Y sometime in the near future -- and many will take it as him "asking her out".... but that's no more asking her out than if SHE also suggested/said/asked for them to do that X or Y sometime in the near future in the midst of a convo like that, too. I've had gals all the time text me to ask me what I'm doing this weekend -- or what I'm doing later on today as they got out of work early... then to ask if I'd be up to meeting up at [X place]. There's no assumption she's going to pay my bill... and there is a Default assumption by Many that yes, I am to still pay hers or a bulk of hers.

So my point is, it's not really about who brings up the notion of going out -- as far as the "traditional" POV is concerned. It's he pays for all or the large bulk of it... UNLESS it's like, his birthday and they're dating -- or she asked to Take him out. That's the POV that rightfully gets criticized and has no true "value".
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 240
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 2:42:07 PM
"At this stage of life I can't be bothered with games like chase me , SHOW ME YOU WANT ME - life is too short and I want a woman in the same key as me "




The same KEY ?

Hey, I like that !
You mean like music where some notes sound good together if they're in the right key but not if they're not in the right key. So, no note is wrong, it just sounds wrong in the wrong key.

Cool !
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 241
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 2:56:44 PM

I got my house too. Of course I have been the one paying the mortgage the entire time so "getting" seems a bit of an overstatement. It is falling apart. Where are all these men who lead with how handy they are!!!???


I did that one once. A great way to get zero responses with. Really, that line is a trap. If you make your living doing that sort of work, then women know you're one of those low creatures that doesn't deserve the time of day.

It's by chance, that I do that sort of work. One that I did actually meet, and dated for a short time, knew that. Long after that, I got a call from her about her house. Her current boyfriend had told her that he wouldn't take on her home electrical issues- too much work- he said. But then he told her it would cost $1000+ to repair.

I go over, and determine that yes, the house would catch fire-IF- it was left alone. I determine with some creative thinking and some wire juggling, that I can fix this properly for $50 bucks (Parts) In doing this, I determined that the original installer had bollixed the job to begin with. I fixed that also.

Much to her current boyfriend's distress, I am still her go-to guy for fixing her house. And we're still friends.

Point is-Craftsmen like me keep your world together. My biggest critic-is me. I don't, and won't bandade anything. Last thing I want to hear, is what you did, broke. My work is not glamorous. But very satisfying. (To me)

It's your choice. If you want a paper pusher with a title, then that's what you get. He may not know which end of the screwdriver to grab, so live with the idea that something in your home will alway be broke, with him in your life.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 242
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 3:02:01 PM
^^^
Ya, I was joking with my handyman reference. I guess I will have to start putting the little laughing guy on my posts.

I have known many "paper pusher with a title" men who could also fix just about anything that needed fixing. I can't imagine thinking that a person who does "that sort of work" was a low creature. Who do you people hang out with? Such absolutes in your lives. Must be frekking miserable wherever you are.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 243
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 3:08:02 PM
^^^^

Absolutes is what it's all about !

Us vs them

Otherwise, it wouldn't be any fun !



























In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 244
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 3:42:58 PM
If ya need your plumbing snaked ladies, I've got some experience with that.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 245
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 3:50:03 PM
^^^


The " anal virgin " thread is just a few floors down

Don't delay ! Call today !























































In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 246
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 3:51:25 PM
NG, I was referring to people in the forums that think they had a good day if they bashed someone and felt proud about it.

I don't bang out a guy's credit card. I don't have a drink with dinner. Last date I went on that was dinner, I don't need to see the final bill, I know what my dinner cost. The total cost, meal, tax and tip was approx $15.50. That's if he tipped 15%, could have been less, he was pretty cheap.

I haven't dated a lot during my life. I've been in relationships. With who I divorced several years ago (my 2nd husband), our first date was supposed to be going to a movie, but we ended up walking around the World Trade Center and hanging out by the water and garden there. Subsequent dates were hiking and hanging out at my place. That is my life. If women are going to expensive restaurants or going to restaurants often, what they do with who pays is up to them and their date. My dates have made substantially more than I did. My 1st hubby was a student, I didn't look to get money from him when we dated, so I walk the walk. I took care of him, the way it should be.

I don't get it. Don't people who are dating just hangout at each other's place? You only go out and spend $$$ on weekends? On my news, they have a question of the day every day. Today, it was 15% of guys admit they insulted a date by asking for this. Viewers guess during the 1 hr show. The answer was asking for gas money, LOL. That would be that guy's last date. I don't happen to date guys that would need gas money, so if they asked, they can call it our last date. When I take a date out in my car, I do not ask for gas money nor would I accept it and my car guzzles gas.

We're all adults and if a man wants to take a woman out and pay for it, there's nothing wrong with that. If women want to pay, go right ahead. I think it's sad that their reasoning can be so that the guy can't "ask" for anything sexually? WTF? Really......he's not going to look for sex if he's the type to do that on a first date or the first few dates because the women paid for themselves? Soooo, no kissing, nothing, LOL? That's being just as bad as the men they think they are dating, to think they pay and so they call the shots. No one is entitled to call the shots for what happens with intimacy. It's decided upon between BOTH parties, not decided upon by who pays. That's really ugly to even think about that and maybe women should rethink the kind of guy they're going out with if they need to do this.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 247
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 3:56:42 PM
""At this stage of life I can't be bothered with games like chase me , SHOW ME YOU WANT ME - life is too short and I want a woman in the same key as me "




"The same KEY ?

Hey, I like that !
You mean like music where some notes sound good together if they're in the right key but not if they're not in the right key. So, no note is wrong, it just sounds wrong in the wrong key."




Ya dude, the way I see it is that personalities are like musical notes. If you find someone in the right key you're more likely to make beautiful music together
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 248
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 3:56:48 PM
I wrote:
And some el-cheapo guys think they can try to dictate financial rules of the dating game.


NG responds:
I have No idea how ratio, big or small, is about financial rules. :) Lost me there.


What I mean is the numbers are against men in all dating spheres. Unless it's men looking for men. Women are a limited resource in all hetero dating spheres. In general, women call the shots. If, as a population, they feel men should shoulder more of the financial burden in dating, that will most likely happen. It's a market. Men trying to dictate, or otherwise bellyache about the rules of the game...especially those who obsess over it....need to get a better job, or find another way to attract women.

NY58 made some comments awhile back disparaging "liberal" men, or something of that effect, that I thought were midguided and oversimplified, and strongly disagreed with that.....but overall otherwise, I generally agree with her stand here.

Dudes, ya gotta step up your game and stop whining. And that especially goes for those guys here who's posts consist mainly of whining.
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 249
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 4:23:40 PM
"You don't know what you don't know that's why you don't have, if you knew what you didn't know you would have, to know and not to do is really not to know."

No clue where it came from, but I used this statement alot over the years, everytime someone complained, or whined about something they wanted seems to fit rather well.

"In the arena of life honors and rewards go to those who show their good qualities in action." Aristotle
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 250
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/10/2017 5:24:43 PM
Ha! It was NG V was the hottest for, he could have set a kitten on fire and she would have approved.
Don't miss what you never had
Time to feed the unicorns. They like skittles :)
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