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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on      Home login  
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 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 276
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!Page 12 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Yeah how dare you not spend $50 on a dinner, $30 drinks, $80 entertainment and $20 in gas. Do forget every women wants that date so you might have to do that 2-3 times a week got to keep your options open right. Oh yes women aren't happy with cutting that cost in half how dare you expect that.

Cause you know if you have a cheap date like nachos, mini golf, drinks and gas is mr.cheapskate. It only cost you $70 for both and you can afford that one a few nights a week right? Cause a woman is going to complain about how cheap you are.

The only way any guy can keep his options open is either a he gets 1 date a week and is only dating one woman hoping she is only dating him. Or the other one is to cut the costs down to keep those options.

If a woman makes it exclusive from first date I got no problem doing the first one, never met a woman yet that did that so they are not getting the great treatment. You want the $150-$200 date that is a relationship date not a first date sorry it's not going to happen with the way these women are today. Men are better off to weed out undesirables down to one exclusive and surprise her with it.

But that's just my take on it, it's not cheap it's knowing what is out there and what their doing. If I spend $150 each date for a woman to say it's a lovely date but not interested in another, I am not going to do that to often before a re-adjust the plan.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 277
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/12/2017 10:13:08 PM
Nest, If you're referring to me, it was my choice to go to the Mexican place. I don't think a guy should spend too much money on first dates.

Maybe not on the first date, but my thing is to be in the outdoors. I live in WA state, with my town being up against the Puget Sound. There are so many places to beach or trail walk or go hiking. I'd rather be walking a path amongst trees or kayaking than sitting at a table at a restaurant. The weather is beautiful here too.
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 278
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 12:38:30 AM
lol nope that's what a lady called me after a that date, weird thing is she said she loved nachos and mini golf , then said "not on a first date"

New Yorker you make it easier on cost I can tell that just by what you said even though it's not coming out right. But alot of women don't they expect the wine/dine nice suit nice entertainment. You seem more like easy food, fair or amusement park type with drinks and dancing later on.

I've had dates tell me they think drinks, and a few games of pool then turn around call me cheap. I was going to say your babysitter just charged me $36 for 3hrs and you asked me on date but I paid how am I cheap. I didn't have the heart to tell her it cost me $75 for it all not including gas.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 279
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 1:58:07 AM

What can I say, Mr. Pig?

Except....you haven't been doing it right. :)


It's only wrong if the objective isn't met, Kirby Jean. :)~
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 280
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 2:46:45 AM
I don't believe in taking advantage of someone's generosity. Pool and a few drinks sounds like a great date to me. Paying for a babysitter, ouch $$$! She sounds like a real ingrate. That's a lot of money to spend. I'm not sure I'd pay for the babysitter unless it was a special occasion, like a birthday, possibly just offer a few dollars towards the cost on regular dates. A nice person would have appreciated what you did for her.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 281
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 5:40:57 AM
if a lass tells you, that you are cheap (what does it say when they volunteer negative information without being asked prior?), then it doesn't matter if she is right, or if she is wrong...she isn't for you. Period, end of story. its a pity that in the emailing back and forth stage, this wasn't hinted at. But, just like in a casino, you put your money down, and you did not win the prize. if you can't afford the gamble, that's fine....just don't gamble.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 282
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 7:23:08 AM
I do things backwards

Give 'em the best for 3 dates. If that doesn't works, nothing will.

Lots of poon this way but no quality relationships
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 283
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 9:58:08 AM
"lots'o'poon but no quality relationships."

>>it depends upon what you seek. I see PUA's teach guys how to get insecure hotties into bed, and years later get sick of easy lay and want someone real to marry. some of the fellows here who complain about a lack of action, may be undercutting themselves b/c they don't want the "low hanging fruit".
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 284
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 10:48:48 AM
For Nestaron, A woman with children may just want a night out but that is not fair to do to a guy that is looking for a relationship unless he knows what he's getting which is just that one date really. If a woman wants to get out, she just needs to find a babysitter and get out and not have someone pay for it for her. I would not be looking to pay for a babysitter on a first date or maybe any dates but maybe contribute money down the line if a person had it to contribute and wanted to. That would be entirely up to the guy. Her kids are her responsibility.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 285
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 11:05:20 AM

I see PUA's teach guys how to get insecure hotties into bed, and years later get sick of easy lay and want someone real to marry.


Then they marry, get divorced, and realize what a f*cking idiot they were. I am thankful every day for having all of my married family members warn me about it as early as my adolescent years.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 286
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 11:32:25 AM

a friend said why don't you get out for a while and take one of the guys up on their offer of dinner or drinks.

If a guy asks to Take you out like that -- all you need to do when in a different mode, is to let him know that you are in a different mode and it may not be a good idea. If he insists and says it'll be fun, no (dating) strings attached, etc. Go for it. One's not going to be greedy in that realm. That's not where any of these mismatch POVs come from. When a guy asks to Take a gal out, there's no controversy on the "who-pays", nor even the threat of a you-owe-me-one expectation on any level, when you give them the heads up on your situation.

"Cheap" is not a good word, because it's subjective. One man's "cheap" is another man's "frugal".

Very true. With NY, never seeing a dinner date go past $30 in her life (even if he pays) -- and basically never going to a guy's place for an at-home date but at hers where she cooks and handles everything for him, including expenses -- that IS going to be seen as "guy's cheap" in many many eyes. Which is why it's shocking that she'd see the OP on the other thread as some cheapskate wishing the new gal he's seeing, at least chip in some once in a while, after 100% paying for a handful of dates and then some. Objectively, that gal's the cheapskate if he doesn't owe her anything and it's not out of her expense range ("But he's the guy" only goes so far past a 1st date).

IMO, in many situations not difficult to see the difference between cheap & frugal, conceptually speaking anyway. Frugal is basically avoiding Expensive places, and more carefully watching your money, while being on the more conservative side in every day stuff. Cheap is desiring things that are inexpensive at the expense of quality... whether it be the quality of things you buy, or the quality of the experiences had (or lack thereof). Cheap is taking frugal on another plane, and everyone has their POV of where "normal" is, to compare things to.

One person's idea of a date is another person's nightmare.

I think a lot of that has to do with how accurate their online pictures are. :)

If I have put on a little black dress and everything that goes with it we aren't "hanging out" or "getting together". We are on a date.

If it's a "just for you" type of thing, sure. But, one doesn't have to get all dolled up (bow-in-hair included) for it to be a Date. And also -- one can be all dolled up regardless, and it can be just a "hanging out" sorta thing (like happy hour & still in dolled-up work clothes). But IMO, either way, something may not be a DATE, but it's still a date.

If you're meeting up, 1-on-1, with understood non-platonic intentions -- something that would be a violation to one's BF or GF -- casual or not, it is a "date". I think the issue is, is that they all don't carry the same weight. A 30m coffee date with someone you don't know is usually just called a "get together", which is accurate to call it as such, as it's not much of a date and the wrong impression isn't want to be had -- while getting dolled-up to go on a candlelit dinner at Olive Garden as the guy makes sure he has his trusty condom in his wallet... is no mere "get together", but a Date Date.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 287
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 8:01:00 PM
If I tell a guy I don't have enough free time at the moment to start a relationship and he insists on dinner/drinks anyway, to accept that offer would be taking advantage of the guy.

Meals have cost less, because I only order an entree and it's either pasta or chicken. I can't eat both an app and an entree or an entree and dessert. Too much food and I don't bang out mens credit cards. I don't care that the meal is under $30, it's been of my choosing, except one guy that purposefully focused on Olive Garden's 2 for 25$ deal, LOL. Any money a guy spends on me is very much appreciated.

To me, frugal is looking for a bargain, a good deal and being conservative with money. Cheap is not wanting to spend any money for any reason on anyone, including themselves. Also not wanting to do anything because it costs money. Cheap is asking a date if they want water before a movie, because they're refilling bottles from the trunk of their car, before a movie where they're hiding that they're using free coupons.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 288
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/13/2017 11:43:04 PM
^^^
Sounds like you have dating down to a science on your budget terms...

It's all about money being spent and not how you feel.

Any male dating vet will avoid granting you a 2nd date.

NEXT!!
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 289
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/14/2017 9:28:02 AM

Cheap is asking a date if they want water before a movie, because they're refilling bottles from the trunk of their car, before a movie where they're hiding that they're using free coupons.


So what if the guy uses coupons or has his own bottled water? I see nothing wrong with using 2-for-1 coupons when they save you money. And bottled water is much healthier for you than sugary soft drinks, and less fattening, too.

He's no more cheap than you are a spendthrift. You two just weren't a match.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 290
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/14/2017 10:02:46 AM
I dont equate being financially responsible with being 'cheap'. Being financially responsible in a man is a must for me.

My guy and I use a thermos for coffee and make a lunch. We are both professionals and well off. The first time we went to a movie I brought in a few healthy snacks and he smuggled in two of those small 8 oz wine bottles.

He would buy me anything I ask for but my favorite shopping is still going through the clothes racks at Goodwill. When we met, we both drove Toyota Corollas...he's asked me if I want a new cross over SUV but my Corolla will do fine for another decade. At my request donates substantial funds to the local animal shelter and that's way more precious to me
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 291
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/14/2017 10:53:25 AM

Cheap is asking a date if they want water before a movie, because they're refilling bottles from the trunk of their car, before a movie where they're hiding that they're using free coupons.


I remember the infamous thread where some women called a man cheap because he used a coupon on a first date / meeting. If a man is paying for it, then it shouldn't matter how he paid for it ( cash, credit card, coupon etc ) because either way the woman isn't spending any money. If they split the bill, then she is saving some money as well. How is a man using a coupon any different or worse than you using a pass on your dates to the park?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 292
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/14/2017 11:16:15 AM

If I tell a guy I don't have enough free time at the moment to start a relationship and he insists on dinner/drinks anyway, to accept that offer would be taking advantage of the guy.

No it wouldn't -- unless you had Another reason or something... like you weren't that attracted to him. Because "I don't have free time" or "I'm not ready to start a relationship" is a common politically-correct BS remark -- that even the sayer will usually at least half-believe -- when really, they're just not that into you. It's a whole other subject, but, yes, people usually Do have the time and energy to when they say they don't... they just don't have the Emotional "time" to deal with someone they're not ga-ga about.

Anyway, IF the real reason, and the Whole reason is that you're not in position to start a Relationship -- good news -- NO, it's not taking advantage of a guy who still says he wants to TAKE you out, after you let him know that. It's Just a Date. A Date in society does Not necessarily mean you're on a direct or expected path to be BF/GF as some agenda. Again, society. And more than that, when you let them know. It's all good.

If I could have a potential date with Megan Fox (hot movie actress) and ask to Take her out, but she tells me she's not ready to start a relationship -- and I tell her that's OK -- I'd really like to Take her out... is she taking advantage of ME by saying yes? :) Oh, hell no. Or say some gal who's no Megan Fox... and I'm not super ga-ga about her, but I'd like for whatever zone I'm in at the time, to go out on a date with a gal, and she seems real cool. Same thing. She's not taking advantage of me, as long as we're on the same page of expectations and I still would like to. Common sense. :)

except one guy that purposefully focused on Olive Garden's 2 for 25$ deal, LOL.

Ahhhh HA! A dinner out that cost more than $30! More than $50, in fact! :) See, they DO happen. They happen rarely for you, though apparently. The way you described your dating history though, by valuing so much of Every dinner date for two being $30 or less, and scoffing at the notion of having $50+ date for two being expensive & unnecessary to ever have -- is constituted as Cheap. The irony is, is holding to a belief that a gal (Any gal; notably typical one who Does not cook at her expense for he & she terribly often, let alone just as much) should be insulted if a guy opts to have her at least chip in when going out on even these $30 dates. But to be fair -- I think you Did correct/adjust/clarify your POV though that if a gal isn't always cooking for said guy like you do, that she should, right? I only ask because I'm trying to get a solid POV from ya, is all.

To me, frugal is looking for a bargain, a good deal and being conservative with money.

I agree. I think frugal & cheap is relative... cheap in the negative sense. Cheap can be in the positive sense, which IMO, equates to "frugal". Like a college student saying "I'm a college student, I'm pretty cheap," which in numbers they are. Cheap in the negative sense is UNNECESSARILY going beyond frugal. Again, it's relative to one's own actual means/financial abilities -- and also affected by how people roll around ya.

Cheap is asking a date if they want water before a movie, because they're refilling bottles from the trunk of their car

Refilling bottles from the trunk? I don't get it. I could see giving water bottles from the trunk of their car. Of course, I'd say that's more tacky than anything - lol. I would say being cheap would be sneaking in bottled water and/or microwave popcorn to avoid getting that in the theater, as "the way I roll". :)

before a movie where they're hiding that they're using free coupons

Free passes to a movie (or discount card or paper)? No, that's not cheap. That's frugal. But being noticeably frugal = cheap in some people's minds. But for you, who values dinner-for-two dates at a standard/typical price of around $20 -- I hardly see how you'd call this "cheap", when a guy has free passes, uses a discount card, or utilizes a discount paper someone handed off to him.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 293
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/14/2017 11:50:12 AM
A coupon isn't bad. What I don't like is hiding it's usage. Filling up a water bottle from a jug in your trunk is super cheap. When a guy takes you to the movies and does these two things right away after meeting him, how can you ever feel comfortable with this man, because you can see he doesn't want to spend money on anything and everything in life cost money. This is a man that was too cheap to go on vacation with his girlfriend and then put her down by saying she went on vacation with her dogs then. It wasn't about paying for her, he didn't want to pay for himself and it was going someplace local too, so not even getting on a plane. I like travel locally and abroad so this man was not going to be for me. Not even for enjoying the simple things in life, because simple things cost money too. People work hard and save to enjoy life and be comfortable, but not everyone. They would rather take out bank statements and look at them and that makes them feel good. Living in poverty is not a fun thing to do. Being with someone who wants to live their life like they are poor is not a fun thing to do.

NG, he was hiding the fact that he was filling up water bottles 6from his trunk, LOL. He also hid the fact that he was using the coupon by purposely standing in front of me and blocking my way when he went to get the movie tickets. I found out about it later. This is a 58 year old man that makes a big six-figure salary. You just don't live like that when you make a good income and can be comfortable in life. Some people want to live a comfortable life, and that is who I want to be with. When you get a burger for 699 and say you want everything on it and then find out it's lettuce and pickles but want a slice of cheese but then won't pay for it, you don't want to enjoy life. You want to count the pennies you save and see them in the bank. That person is cheap. Can't seem to go back and put the decimal points after the $6. So that's 2 for $25 meal does come out to less than $30 for the meal for me. Gee, I wonder who all these people are that go to movies and actually buy popcorn and go on vacations and go out to dinners without coupons.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 294
Why do 6 figure salary men refuse to wine n' dine women?
Posted: 7/14/2017 12:06:11 PM
^^^
Lives alone with 9 cats...
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 295
Why do 6 figure salary men refuse to wine n' dine women?
Posted: 7/14/2017 12:15:43 PM
^ But atleast she can tell all her friends she is surrounded by pvssy
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 296
Why do 6 figure salary men refuse to wine n' dine women?
Posted: 7/14/2017 1:25:41 PM

He also hid the fact that he was using the coupon by purposely standing in front of me and blocking my way when he went to get the movie tickets.


That's his business, since he's the one paying for it. Do you crane your neck over his shoulder to see how he's paying? As long as he's not stealing it, why should you care if he's using a coupon?


This is a 58 year old man that makes a big six-figure salary. You just don't live like that when you make a good income and can be comfortable in life. Some people want to live a comfortable life, and that is who I want to be with.


So you're saying that affluent people can't be comfortable in life if they choose to take advantage of money saving coupons or discounts? That's horsesh!t. People don't get wealthy in the first place by being fiscally irresponsible. I actually think it's fun to find bargains.

My s/o and I don't pay full ticket for anything---that includes food, clothing, transportation, entertainment, airline tickets, hotels, etc. We also take full advantage of senior citizen discounts whenever possible. Some places have senior discounts for people over 55. Other places only offer discounts on certain days, so we shop there on those particular days.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 297
Why do 6 figure salary men refuse to wine n' dine women?
Posted: 7/14/2017 1:56:47 PM

You just don't live like that when you make a good income and can be comfortable in life.


My brother-in-law is retired now, but he was making nearly half a million a year. He and my sister live in a monster house, but anything he buys for himself, he's out to spend as little as possible. Always. Now that he's retired, he likes to sit back and play video games, and refuses to buy video games new. Only used.

It may seem a bit radical, but I would rather deal with someone like that than most of the morons in my family who have pissed their money away
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 298
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/14/2017 2:09:55 PM

Gee, I wonder who all these people are that go to movies and actually buy popcorn and go on vacations and go out to dinners without coupons.


People who like to waste money unnecessarily?

And make OTHER people rich by paying whatever they charge, without question?
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/14/2017 3:06:06 PM

He also hid the fact that he was using the coupon by purposely standing in front of me and blocking my way when he went to get the movie tickets. I found out about it later.


Even in retirement, my monthly income is more than most men I know, so i have been known to pick up a tab when dating. I would never dream of judging a gift (which is what a date is, when it is someone else's treat - and why you must always say "Thank You"), by how much or in what manner someone paid.

Only an ingrate would be so low-class as to look at a dinner check or watch how someone pays a tab.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 300
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you're on here!
Posted: 7/14/2017 3:10:49 PM
Oh, oh.........................my ego needs a boost...........................send messages to engorge my ego stat!
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