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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on      Home login  
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 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 151
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason you are on here!Page 7 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

certain people here, can afford to be picky, and should be. They offer more.


Thanks for noticing.

I appreciate the support.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 152
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/3/2017 6:22:04 PM
Clueless people trying to perpetuate Forum MYTHS help no one. No matter how many people enjoy doing it, it won't make it true.

OLD is a COMPETITION, plain and simple. The minimum ante (to have ANY "luck") is at least ONE good pic if not several and a "well written" profile.

Nothing mysterious about either of these^^^ IFFFFFFF someone is so UN sharp as to not realize this, you have no business doing OLD.

How many men or women has ANYONE written to who had crummy, blurry or NO pics and a crummy profile?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 153
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/3/2017 7:47:46 PM

Talking to 10 guys? Not me or any of my friends who tried OLD. We discuss these things.

10 at one time is too high for most gals of course. But expecting she's only even in touch with just 1 other guy when you're talking with her would be Very naive if she could be considered a catch for any realistic group. Some gals will obviously be more picky, and quicker on the draw to be "Well I Never!" when it comes to no-effort/1-liner messages by guys (or worse). But a guy should always expect a gal's going to have more than just one other potential a guy online + IRL.

I checked the demographics in my age group in my city. 689 women. 743 males.

Ahhh, but you're not going to get everyone on there, though. Ones you don't fit their filters won't show. True to some extent to females, as some may say "male only".

I've done this before; I used to be able to go to Advanced Search, then middle-mouse-click on "Log Out" before I clicked Submit on the Advanced Search and get a count of all who've been online Today. You never want to count ones who have Ever set up an account. The gender ratio is closer, but it's irrelevant -- it's only who's been on recently. So ya count the pages of those "Online Today" (within 24hrs) -- of each.

What I found was that it's about a 3:1 to 2.5:1 ratio usually in various places for guys-to-gals, guys outweighing them. When hitting mid-60s, it's more like 1.5:1, pretty close. To narrow the searches in big cities (it'd max at 700) -- I'd discount BBW and notably short guys.

Right now, I can't do it anymore -- to see the True # from a search. As soon as I click on another search page after logged out, it forces me to log in. :(
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 154
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/4/2017 5:07:10 AM
Maybe in your area. In mine, that's where the 7,8,9 to one ratio is.

And yes, I only counted those who had been online recently. I'm not mid sixties, but close.

I've gotten used to the idea that what I want, doesn't exist. That's ok, I can conform to me, a lot faster than anyone I know. Less worry and wear & tear on the nerves. I can go about being me, and I don't have to kowtow to anyone else's whims or wishes. Conquer those childish fears of being alone. There's lots to do out there, and you don't have to ask permission to do it.
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 155
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/4/2017 3:28:44 PM

...I'd discount BBW and notably short guys...


You invalidate statistical results when you arbitrarily leave out some data.
Don't BBW and notably short guys count?

Hey, I don't like guys with beards - why not leave them out of the pool?
And women over 30 (because - you know - they're over the hill)?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 156
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/4/2017 3:56:59 PM

Don't BBW and notably short guys count?

Then there's more than 700 gals Online Today in a big city -- but not wanting to narrow the radius to get a better result, yeah, it makes sense to go by "How many are in the more dateable range?"

But yes, don't count the ones who haven't been online in a while -- get a count from the active ones. And yes, count the ones who are more dateable.

Say it was the case that the ratio Different SHRUNK once you counted BBW women on a certain site. "Yeah, fine, the ratio's not that bad if you count gals that I nor guys a little below average Joe or better are even going to want to consider."

If the ratio difference is too BIG -- gals can say "Yeah, it attracts a lot of short guys! You're making it seem like there's too many men!"

Okay, fine ... So you know what? No BBW, no guys under 5'6" -- and online Today as the sample size. It's basically eliminating the outliers of "few would want to date them". There's PLENTY who aren't BBW or guys under 5'6".
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 157
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/4/2017 5:21:17 PM
NG wrote:

What I found was that it's about a 3:1 to 2.5:1 ratio usually in various places for guys-to-gals, guys outweighing them.


Purple Rider wrote:

Maybe in your area. In mine, that's where the 7,8,9 to one ratio is.


And some el-cheapo guys think they can try to dictate financial rules of the dating game. Kinda like a fisherman waxing indignant that the fish aren't biting on the bait HE feels they should bite on. I agree with the women here. Life is to short to date cheap guys.

Funny.
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 158
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/5/2017 3:05:03 PM
NG - you're not getting my point.

Simply because YOU won't date BBW and you assume women won't date a guy under 5'6" you take them out of the equation. This invalidates statistics. By taking out the so-called outliers because 'few' will date them invalidates your entire reasoning - because your (NG's) tastes and assumptions are not definitive. You're postulating that there is a single line of demarcation of dateable/non-dateable rather than a shading of wish fulfillment / popular / average / undateable unless desperate / totally undateable based SOLELY on a woman's weight and a man's height.

You seem to be saying to discount all BBW / short men profiles because NO ONE wants to date them.

Sorry, darlin' -- but that is not and has never been the criteria for dating.
Even people with very strict adherence to the single criteria - men who won't date BBW and even women who won't date short men (however they define BBW/short) no matter what - have other criteria.
Sure, some women can't tolerate men under 5'10" and some men can't tolerate women over 120. Most people have more flexible boundaries.
You're saying to remove everyone who doesn't fit the criteria of 'tall' and 'slender' because those numbers don't count - even though women who are not slender and men who are not tall may be the majority of the population of profiles.
So, you're basically saying - discount half the profiles because they don't fit the single criteria chosen.

Perhaps these profiles don't count IF all you're looking for is endless dates with 'beautiful' people.

But I always thought that dating was a means to an end and not the end itself.
At least for most people.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 159
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/5/2017 3:13:32 PM
"Sure, some women can't tolerate men under 5'10" "


(ahem) it's under SIX FEET ....when it comes to height , nothing gets a vajayjay wetter faster than el numero 6 !
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 160
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/5/2017 3:17:51 PM
depends upon which height you are measuring :)

for some VJ's, six inches is only the minimal height for that ride...
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 161
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/5/2017 3:21:54 PM

And some el-cheapo guys think they can try to dictate financial rules of the dating game. Kinda like a fisherman waxing indignant that the fish aren't biting on the bait HE feels they should bite on. I agree with the women here. Life is to short to date cheap guys.


Life is also too short to date women who whine about equality, but also want special treatment.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 162
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/5/2017 5:34:32 PM
shocking that anyone dates according to what is posted
It isn't because you are short/fat/toothless/
Usually because you are clueless
Half the men here say they strike out because they are shorter
honestly.. that's the only reason the Supermodel not in your bed?
Damn I am only poor because I wasn't born rich
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 163
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/5/2017 6:33:38 PM

And some el-cheapo guys think they can try to dictate financial rules of the dating game.

I have No idea how ratio, big or small, is about financial rules. :) Lost me there.

Simply because YOU won't date BBW and you assume women won't date a guy under 5'6"

You're missing where I'm getting at: The ratio's still roughly the same. If anything, the difference is bigger, from what I found. I've done it a million times. It doesn't discount half the profiles. Why have I done that? To discount people who say, as I stated "Yeah, well, most guys don't care about BBWs," or "Most women don't count really short men," -- fine. It's Still The Same.

The reason I point this out is that when someone says "Oh, it's close...," they're not realizing that they're not getting the actual ratio. You have to be Logged Out to get the actual ratio. And you want to go by those who are Online Today and not count the ones from yesteryear. And you'd have to keep it under 700 to get a quick count (X amt displayed on each page). Without any filters except for Online Today -- yes, the ratio is that big, where it's going to be at least a 2.5:1 ratio of guys to gals. You have to get around senior citizen level to see that drop lower than 2:1.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 164
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 7:19:36 AM
Women don't like whiney men, or misogynists or cheap men or men that aren't gentlemen. If you feel "entitled" to be one of these men, don't fault women for feeling entitled to know they can do better.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 165
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 9:18:44 AM
True. Whiney and 'woe is me' victims. Blech!

'Here's why I can't succeed...100 reasons...'

Its amazing how millions of guys have found a partner on OLD when its so 'impossible'. Took my guy 3 weeks. Then again, he's more of a get job done kind of male. The type my father used to say you wanted beside you when he was in the marines in The Pacific in WW2.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 166
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 9:29:45 AM

Its amazing how millions of guys have found a partner on OLD when its so 'impossible'. Took my guy 3 weeks


Sure there are people that had a long term relationship with someone from OLD. But I think it is a fairly low percentage for both men and women. Also finding someone within 3 weeks is probably more of a product of good timing. Even people that had success had used OLD for multiple years or had dozens or hundreds of first dates / meetings that went nowhere before finding someone.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 167
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 11:44:08 AM
1. People won't date someone they are not attracted to.
(Yeah - I know - water is wet - tell me something we don't know)

2. People being able to take a match often matters even MORE than who is available.
Some people just aren't ready or willing to 'settle'.

3. Using a mechanical means to match (online dating) limits search possibilities down to a handful of criteria, and often we don't realize just how limiting those choices can be.
-- I believe THIS point is where most arguments can be made. Attractiveness is so much more than just a number.

We tend to set our search parameters, and forget them. We don't do the math accurately to figure out just how few people there are available or remaining. We kind of think of online dating as an endless supply warehouse like Amazon where we can customize orders down to the tiniest detail, and return anything we don't like, for any reason.

It's more like trying to find a vintage baseball card from 50 years ago. There's only a rare few out there with the picture you like, and their condition for the most part is far from pristine. If you find one that's even remotely decent, you're lucky to have it. Demanding something more glossy or perfect or less worn is laughably vain - and yet, that's what we do online, in here - every day.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 168
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 12:13:58 PM

1. People won't date someone they are not attracted to.
(Yeah - I know - water is wet - tell me something we don't know)


Chances are that a lot of golddiggers and gigolos are dating rich people they are not physically attracted to, but ARE attracted to their money.


a handful of criteria, and often we don't realize just how limiting those choices can be.


Indeed.
Intelligence and common sense have proven to be very limiting criteria.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 169
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 12:39:11 PM

Indeed.
Intelligence and common sense have proven to be very limiting criteria.

So true. Some of these had me rolling.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6kp89n/reddit_at_what_moment_did_you_realize_you_were/
 2ufo2
Joined: 8/29/2016
Msg: 170
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 4:45:01 PM
NG...

Ok, I'll back away from the statistics because - even though I believe you're wrong for removing the outliers - it truly doesn't matter to me.

Removing half or one quarter or some tiny percentage of the profiles is irrelevant because I'm not trying to 'work the numbers'.

Fullmoonguy2...

Ah, but they ARE attracted... if only to the money.

Ohhhhh... Intelligence? Common sense?
That's practically a roll-my-eyes orgasm right there.


As for women playing hard to get...
I don't think women (in general) play hard to get.
Some of us are hard to get.
We have enough self-respect that we're not going to response well to a single-worded message of 'S'up?' and a ten year old photo on a profile that says 'ask me anything except about money or my ex'.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 171
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 5:04:58 PM
Again, I was removing outliers to appease other people, but I've done it without them too. No outliers, just randomly with no surprise... where you have to keep them under 700 for a quick count of Online Today (so age & radius instead of physical attributes):

In one mid-western area (age 35-40), Online Today:
- 522 Males (72.2%)
- 201 Females (27.8%)

Now, if I logged OUT, I'd get the most accurate reading. Obviously guys who put an age range Outside my age, or say Female Only -- they're not going to come up. But, same with gals, too. When I DID log out -- you'd see roughly the same thing -- a big gap.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 172
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 6:35:03 PM
Ratios don't matter, it's how a man treats a woman. There could be a million women and one man, but if he is a shitty guy, no one will want him. I see a huge amount of attractive women available in my state that have jobs and no children. How can that be? There are a lot of men, but they are not quality men. What men should do is step up their game and stop whining, but that's where ego and mental illness come into play, and then thwart themselves from appearing decent.
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 173
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 6:51:02 PM
Hard to get no cautious I could see that for good reason. Statistically actually only 47% of women who are online dating sites actually do the dating. That is the actual women not fake or other wise, now take into consideration all the junk they get. Women want their guys to be compatible to them if you don't share their interests only looking for sex your not on the same page as them move along and quit wasting their time. There are some here for serial dating or no serious relationships bother those ones the other ones looking for something real are total different page and you need your stuff together. They don't want to cause to much disturbance in an man's life any more than they want him causing a big issue in theirs, that's why compatibility interests are a necessity to dating. It's about doing the same thing but with a sense of togetherness and share the experiences.

Send a solid message and show you are what their looking for their going to be more inclined to chat with you. Even if they are unsure about the online dating thing or are new to it by making their first message a pleasantful experience can be the difference. I don't waste womens time with unnecessary chatter I see I am not interested I tell them so they don't waste their time on me quick up front honesty. I don't even need to stop chatting with them after that message their already gone. I have done that countless times I don't want my time wasted with them nor do I want to waste their efforts on a lost cause, mutual respect.

I might engage with a woman I am interested in and she get's to see my playful nature and fun side that other's don't, is that wrong why would I entertain a woman I am not interested in? It's common sense they have 10 -20 times more messages or higher they can't do what guys want respond just answer me, it's not feasibly possible for them to answer all the messages constantly. So their not playing hard to get message give a week no answer she not interested usually. I don't find the women hard to date I find it hard to find the right woman that fit's into what I am looking for. As a lot have nothing in their profiles to go by except a picture even some with no picture and that takes time.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 174
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why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 9:14:50 PM
Not sure why the obsession with ratios. I could view 100 profiles and not be attracted to a male. Actually I was attracted to only a half dozen of the several hundred males in my city on OLD.

The guys here would do better if they studied what successful people do rather than get into a group hug with whiners. There's something self fulfilling about identifying with the hundreds that are 'leftover' rather than the thousands that have moved on.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 175
why do women play hard to get in online dating? its a reason your on here!
Posted: 7/6/2017 9:26:28 PM
The ratio and the amount of competition can sometimes be a factor in OLD. For people under 40, men can outnumber women by at least a 2 or 3 to 1 ratio. Some people will increase their expectation level and requirements when there are more potential options.
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