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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > I can't cum with a guy      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 51
I can't cum with a guyPage 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
You probably cant achieve an orgasm, because you set your mind to the negative before the sex begins.
Wrong

Don't think about anything before, just go with the flow, you will orgasm.
Wrong

Maybe you dont have the right lover in your bed,
Wrong

try new things, you will get off.
Wrong

Have him explore every inch of you, from head to toe, dont rush anything, take your time, enjoy all the feelings and sensations that go along with sex.
Wrong

Talk to him, tell him what you like, what you desire, don't forget about the g spot.
Don't settle for anything less, than a bed soaker.
.

Obviously,you didn't READ the women's reactions to this thread.You guys can be so clueless.

ORAL AND MANUAL SEX GET'S US OFF!

CLITORAL STIMULATION!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry guys,but that magic want you tote around just doesn't CUT IT for most of us.

 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 52
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 4:46:53 AM

Yes. Discuss it with your OBGYN, and consider a few sessions with a clinical psychologist and/or sex therapist.
Sex happens between the ears.


Funny how men don't say that when they have erectile dysfunction.
Why are THEY not sent to a therapist long before they start popping pills?
There's no irony that there are TONS of "medications" for men to get it up!
Women's orgasms have never been "that important" in the grand scheme of things.

As long as a man can get it up,it's all in OUR 'heads' and hands to get our own orgasms?
 house_full_of_bullets
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 53
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 5:25:51 AM

Funny how men don't say that when they have erectile dysfunction.
Why are THEY not sent to a therapist long before they start popping pills?
There's no irony that there are TONS of "medications" for men to get it up!
Women's orgasms have never been "that important" in the grand scheme of things.

As long as a man can get it up,it's all in OUR 'heads' and hands to get our own orgasms?


I'm not defending the guy, but that response seems a little harsh. Especially if a male partner is a giving unselfish lover.

Ask a man - ANY man "Would you rather have a problem achieving an orgasm, or a problem achieving an erection?"
Which do you think a man would choose? You have no idea how it can affect a man psychologically. Besides, blood flow to the penis is probably far easier to medicate than orgasm control.

Also, if there was an orgasm pill, how many women would seek refuge at the pharmacy rather than the therapist?
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 54
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 5:34:44 AM

Especially if a male partner is a giving unselfish lover.


Well....if you know how to get a woman off before you do,good on you.
Most men think that all they need to do is penetrate and we should be having multiple orgasms because he's inside of us and the only reason we don't is because we have "issues".Spare me.



Ask a man - ANY man "Would you rather have a problem achieving an orgasm, or a problem achieving an erection?"


Umm...that would be one in the same now wouldn't it?
Without enough blood flow,an erection,and penis stimulation,a man's not gonna come
so that's a moot question.


I wouldn't mind a man with erectile dysfunction as it would take the focus AWAY from his orgasm
and force him to focus on mine.Without a hard-on he could see what its like to go without for his partners sake as alot of women do or learn to fake it.He could see what it's like to be told it's all in his head,when in reality,it's his anatomy that's not getting enough BLOOD to it to produce an orgasm.And he could see what it's like to only have "gel's" that don't help at all during penetration.



Which do you think a man would choose? You have no idea how it can affect a man psychologically. Besides, blood flow to the penis is probably far easier to medicate than orgasm control.


Men aren't being told to go see a therapist,they are being prescribed Cialis for the most part!

Besides the position of our clits,I believe blood flow, or lack of,to the clit is in part why orgasms are harder to achieve for women.Where's OUR frikkin pills?Oh yeah...it's ALL in our heads.No pills for us...but MILLIONS of pills for men?



Also, if there was an orgasm pill, how many women would seek refuge at the pharmacy rather than the therapist?


Probably about 75 % of women would be in line for that.


I know I would seriously consider a pill to help me orgasm...but again,if it's all about clit stimulation,shy of moving it to a more productive spot in my vagina,even a pills isn't going to cut it.

Just give us oral until we come,and long before you come and it's all good.
 house_full_of_bullets
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 55
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 5:57:20 AM
Hey, I bet most men are willing to work for their partner's orgasm. It's win-win. Life is good when both are happy.

My ex couldn't have an orgasm with me, and never could with any of her partners - I never took it personally and she finished with a vibrator which I was more than happy to assist her with. Not everyone is blessed with easy orgasms or rock hard erections on command.

The key is to be supportive with whatever works for your partner imo.
 GrayJake40
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 56
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 6:31:49 AM
Campfire--- "sex happens between the ears"..

'''''''''

........

Hopefully, a couple of times a week! Yeah, for her too. I guess.
 GrayJake40
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 57
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 6:39:14 AM
Hearton64,

I am thinking that you have had some lousy men in your sexual lifetime....

Some of what I am reading, male or female, is some people are being sincere, if not exactly correct FOR EVERY SITUATION.

Every single human being is slightly different, or a lot. Or, usually, somewhere in the average norm. And we, as "sincere" responders, only reply with what we have experienced. Not one of us is a pro.

OP, I wish you all the best in your search for that lucky moment.

-Jake
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 58
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 6:44:42 AM

Sounds to me like someone else needs therapy for their gender based anger issues.



LOL...That's funny because I simply disagreed with you and your thinking and suggested another way of thinking based on FEMALE experience with orgasms,and that's enough for me to need therapy? Wow.I guess you disagreeing with me mean's you need it too.
And BTW...I have spent thousands on therapy to learn to stop just agreeing with others even when I don't agree. :p


Hey, I bet most men are willing to work for their partner's orgasm. It's win-win. Life is good when both are happy.


Sorry to say,"most men" just aren't, at least in my experience.I am always on my own when it comes time to come during penetration,but my guy(and every man I have been with) can easily get me off during oral and better not mind me 'getting mine' manually if he's not willing to take the time to do it for me.We learn to adjust to our anatomy or we have to rely on others for our orgasms.

I have found that men assume we are getting close just because they are going at it like monkeys trying to get thiers.
Seems to me,it's a real ego blow for some men who do take it personally,and who mistakenly consider it a problem with them that we aren't coming during penetration,so they blameshift it back onto our "issues" and suggest therapy and tell us we have "gender biased anger issues" when we dare suggest it's not ALL in our heads.Whatever to them.


My ex couldn't have an orgasm with me, and never could with any of her partners - I never took it personally and she finished with a vibrator which I was more than happy to assist her with. Not everyone is blessed with easy orgasms or rock hard erections on command.

The key is to be supportive with whatever works for your partner imo.


Well....thanks for that concession, honesty and truth.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 59
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 6:57:04 AM

Hearton64,I am thinking that you have had some lousy men in your sexual lifetime....


But I'm sure YOU could make me come thru penetration alone?
Alrighty then...maybe my guy can watch you do that. :)

But is it just me and 75% of women and all of the woman who understand this issues from a personal perspective here in the forums? Not likely. But yeah,the men I have known have been all about thier orgasms.And really,who can blame them for caring more about themselves than who they are with?

GrayJake....you may be right about that for me personally,but that doesn't change my anatomy as a woman.
I don't blame men,nor do I have anger issues.I don't blame "god" because I am an atheist.I blame nature,but I can imagine if our entire vagina was nerve endings,(and not just mainly our clits} like your penis' are,no one would get anything done because all we'd be doing is f*cking days away and until we were comatose. :)

Not to mention,orgasming during child birth would render men's d*cks obsolete. :0

See....I can find humor in it all!

Believe me I don't EVER fake it,nor do I go without.Since I was 16 and realized I could come alone easily,but didn't come with a d*ck in me,i found a way to fix that! I rubbed one out myself whilst being penetrated and VIOLA!

Problem solved.But for some women,they don't seem to feel comfortable doing that or consider it an option, so they fake it or go without.Those are the woman that need to understand that it's NOT all in thier head,it's NOT all thier fault and it's NOT personal against the men they are with.

Just speaking my truths.
 Billhartsock73
Joined: 2/23/2013
Msg: 60
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 7:33:31 AM
If you go into sex with a guy and think its just going to be another day of sex without a orgasm then i believe its going to side track what your trying to do in the bedroom. Try adding a little fantasy or roll playing it might help you out some mentally.
 GrayJake40
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 61
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 8:38:38 AM
Hearton64-- "But I'm sure YOU could make me come thru penetration alone?
Alrighty then...maybe my guy can watch you do that. :)"


Um, really? Wow. I don't recall extending an invite for all of that assumptioning. Wait, does your guy have beer?

I could not, ever, get an erection even remotely near your direction. I'd be too nervous. I have a happy penis! Well, it mostly has this "smirk" look. Some people misconstrue that as it is just being****...

Relax, I can't cum with a guy either. Because men are neanderthals, and yucky! And as they age, they get those hairs growing out of their noses. And if I was a woman, and laying there staring up at that gaping orifice all full of hair, how could I possibly orgasm to that! It looks like a frickin horse's face!

BTW, THAT was humor.

Your "Not to mention,orgasming during child birth would render men's d*cks obsolete", is not.

It's kinda ewy. Too think, some kid would grow up thinking how mommy orgasmed while said-kid was being born. I mean, at the least, don't tell the kid! Issues would abound!


Funny, how with my prior post, you basically agreed with it, with your next post. LOL
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 62
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 9:32:58 AM

Um, really? Wow. I don't recall extending an invite for all of that assumptioning. Wait, does your guy have beer?


Oh boy....I stepped in it this time.That was sarcasm.But...Sure...we have beer.And is assumptioning a word? lol Can I use it too?


I could not, ever, get an erection even remotely near your direction. I'd be too nervous. I have a happy penis! Well, it mostly has this "smirk" look. Some people misconstrue that as it is just being****...


That's probably smart...as my va jay jay has teeth and I would just make it feel sad because it didn't hit my clit during penetration.



Relax, I can't cum with a guy either.


That you know of,yet. hehe


Because men are neanderthals, and yucky! And as they age, they get those hairs growing out of their noses. And if I was a woman, and laying there staring up at that gaping orifice all full of hair, how could I possibly orgasm to that! It looks like a frickin horse's face!




BTW, THAT was humor.


BTW...that was funny.And being that I have acted on Bi-tendencies in my youth,I know I don't need a d*ck to come
nor do I come with a d*ck...but that's another story.



Your "Not to mention,orgasming during child birth would render men's d*cks obsolete", is not.


Oh come on...that was hysterical!



It's kinda ewy. Too think, some kid would grow up thinking how mommy orgasmed while said-kid was being born. I mean, at the least, don't tell the kid! Issues would abound!


I think there's a "valid" reason that woman's clits are on the outside even if it sucks for us....and I figure....that might be one reason they are.But yeah....it would be weird admitting my kid gave me the biggest orgasm of my life, and laughing at the baby daddy.


Funny, how with my prior post, you basically agreed with it, with your next post. LOL


I'm off to therapy right now...sorry I have no retorts beyond, you are confusing me.....because I HAVE ISSUES.

Now THAT was some fun foreplay.

Piece in and out.
 alphacircle
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 63
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 10:17:08 AM
Sounds like a problem an ex-gf of mine had. Try reverse cowgirl it worked wonders for us.
 Consensuality
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 64
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 12:38:47 PM
If you masturbate the same exact way that can get you used to a particular stimulus so try to switch things up even if it's disappointing at first. Use a different hand. Do it in a different place, in a different body position, differing techniques and pressures. A few days/weeks before sex try masturbating in a different ways but DO NOT orgasm. Sometimes that can prime things and make it easier to cum.

I don't think there's anything wrong with not being able to cum from sex. You can take turns pleasuring each other in different ways and he can help stimulate you with foreplay and while you masturbate. I used to do this with one girl I dated and it's not a big deal. We both had plenty of fun.
 ironhead451
Joined: 2/23/2013
Msg: 65
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 1:33:13 PM
you havent been with me yet. i could make you cum 10 times. no kidding
 Wiselikeafox
Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 66
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 1:47:53 PM
Ahhhh tough one...I'd suggest a new mindset. If you believe you can't do something and then attempt it, failure is almost a sure bet. Perhaps you feel insecure about revealing yourself in an orgasm...could be that you're not completely comfortable with your partner. No matter what the reason really is, you know you're capable of having an orgasm, right? Maybe you can try taking control in the act. Tell your guy what will get you there, a great lover will listen, will understand you, and, will be patient enough to make it happen.
 urnusweetheart77
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 67
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 10:49:27 PM
Are you serious? Omg! I must laugh at this post and i must laugh at the comments entertaining this
bs
 urnusweetheart77
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 68
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/6/2013 10:55:47 PM
I grew u in a dominate female family, and i have many female friends, long story short, you should know your body and how to get yours, so miss me with this bs and learn how to get yours!
 *Dr_Hugnkiss*
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 69
view profile
History
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/7/2013 1:10:12 AM
What kind of orgasm? This makes good reading.

http://monicasbox.wordpress.com/2012/07/15/11-different-types-of-orgasms/
 DepthChargeEthel
Joined: 2/16/2013
Msg: 70
view profile
History
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:22:42 AM
Neither can I, but it doesn't bother me as it's much more intense alone and I dont need to worry about my hair, makeup and that 'crazy eyed' orgasm look.
 TenderKisses546
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 71
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/7/2013 4:27:16 AM

But what if I actually like rubbing my clit...it's fun...and I like how it feels...and the guys I've been with have liked it too...hell...there's alot of things I like...that I prolly can't mention here...but I don't wanna give any of them up.


Fair enough. K-Y Intense is for your clit and Spot-On is for your G-Spot. Its definitely worth trying both at the same time.

I think if any woman is having difficulties to orgasm then they should try K-Y Intense and Spot-On together and their problem will be solved. Or at least it will help most women.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 72
view profile
History
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/7/2013 5:39:41 AM

being overweight has no bearing on the actual ability to orgasm, although it might have am impact on self esteem which could certainly impact the other part of having an orgasm which is your mind and the state it is in at that time during sex


The other issue is that the "hotter" you are, the MORE LIKELY that you will meet more guys that will work harder to please you, since they have a reason, in their mind, to work harder for you.

Whereas if you're just someone's slumpbuster, or person they settled with due to not being able to do any better, they're often literally just trying to get off as quick as possible with you and then be done.

And, of course, a selection bias that can exist with the people you're able to get.

It's not a hard-fast rule, of course, but when it comes to wide trends, I see far more overweight/generally unattractive women complaining about lovers than models. And I know from 1st and 2nd person accounts that guys often care "less" when they're with someone they aren't all that happy with, and do less overall work to achieve equal pleasure.
 lickinthekitty43
Joined: 2/28/2013
Msg: 73
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/7/2013 5:45:32 AM
whats amazing to me about women (besides the beautiful curves and such ) --- is that they all seem so "different" when it comes to sex ! what they like ... what then need ... etc ...

us guys are so simple !

that is the key to a woman ! you need to find the guy who makes it happen ! there are guys out there that will do it ... its just finding the right guy and the guy who makes you smile and laugh ... i think laughter is so much the key for you ... because you obviously have a handle on "making it happen" ... you just need someone to make you smile and relax with him ... totally .

just my .02 cents ... (already alot of good advice from the females on this thing )
 USMC777
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 74
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/7/2013 5:51:07 AM
I dont consider myself clueless when it comes to getting a woman off. I never had an issue getting a woman off, or getting her to squirt. Of course, oral sex is important, that goes without saying, as is clitoral stimulation. I consider both of these to be foreplay. Deep penetration is the key, different positions that have direct contact with the g spot. Trying new things in bed is always great, even pushing the limits beyond the norm, try it, you may like it..
 USMC777
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 75
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/7/2013 1:23:53 PM
It's quite amazing that how many women cant achieve an orgasm here. Actually, i think its a lot of bs, if your man is the problem, seek professional help, on the other hand, it could be the woman, so in any case, seek help. I personally, never have been with any woman that had this problem, hence the reason, that its difficult to believe. For those who only get off masturbating, or by oral sex, there is definitely a problem. Perhaps you have formed an dependency on self induced orgasms. All the clitoral or g spot gel stimulants wont matter here. Look within...
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