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Joined: 2/5/2013
Msg: 101
I can't cum with a guyPage 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I Had a girl Friend had the same problems so I want to make sure I could do the job what I did was experiment with her by using my fingers to find out her spots ever girl is different YUP and some are far away and some girls spots are close depends on the girl Right so Yes I had lots of oral play at first and then when it was time I was on top had a pillow under her to arch her back because her spot was far inside my fingers could just hit it lol I’m not small guy so Yeah I could hit it and then I worked that for ½ hr Yeah but she final cum and had orgasm She said it felt so different ! YUP Before she would always get close but no Orgasm but I final figure it out But I’m a trooper lol and I’m not a small guy which yes it does matter in this case lol You have to be long enough to reach her spot. So now I can give a Orgasm not ever time but she can have them once and a while with me inside of her She Loved it. When we where dating not any more lol ( I’m here now looking lol)But I was the only one she ever had one with she was same age as me and never married so HUM Not to brag but YUP who’s the Man lol JK haaahaa. Hey I worked hard to figure it out.
Joined: 12/16/2012
Msg: 102
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/10/2013 4:46:00 AM
Can't cum with regular sex? Even when you are on top and in control of the motion?
Joined: 3/4/2013
Msg: 103
view profile
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/14/2013 3:56:06 PM
I thought something was wrong with me. There are two ways I can cum. Masturbation and oral sex. As soon as I cum I got to get the d--k. Man I love sex.
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 104
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/14/2013 3:58:54 PM
Try women... lol
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 105
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/15/2013 12:28:39 AM

I don't think you have a real problem at all and you are very much normal. Sounds like you have both a psychological and technique thing going on here. To get over the the psychological part, you just have to realize that many women don't cum from penetration alone. A vagina is a wonderful thing and is designed to do miracles but orgasm is not one of those miracles. It's not designed in that manner even though some women can cum from penetration alone. So, you are in the company of many women, nothing to be really concerned about.

Once you realize and accept this fact, you're on the way to cumming with your partner. I think you perhaps thought that you were supposed to cum by penetration and because you weren't able to do that, there was something wrong with you and it mentally blocked your partner giving you an orgasm. Sex is 95% brain, 5% other stuff, give or take. Giving yourself an orgasm takes away that mental block temporarily.

So once you get the psychological part corrected, you and he will have to figure out a way to ensure your clit is stimulated along with the penetration....then you're going to start exploding. And after you get this working fluently, don't be surprised one day you do cum from penetration, just don't look for it though. It'll have to sneak up on you.

^^^^ One of the few posts in this thread which is thoughtfully, and intelligently written, and which is actually accurate.
Joined: 8/30/2012
Msg: 106
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/15/2013 7:32:10 AM
Wow have you been with the wrong men! you need a real man, one who takes his time, and works you up to that orgasm. Must men are one pump chumps who dont how to just pleasure a lady, without getting them selves off!! Sad, wish I could have a couple hours with you, you would change your tune quickly ;) Good luck!
Joined: 2/11/2013
Msg: 107
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/15/2013 9:05:27 AM
If you can achieve orgasm on your own and it can't be replicated with a partner (Either with hand / tongue / penis) Then one of two things is happening.

a) Psychological block when with a partner
b) You haven't met someone who can do it right
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 108
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/15/2013 12:43:54 PM
youre a guy of course you can cum everytime
Joined: 3/11/2013
Msg: 109
view profile
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/15/2013 2:31:33 PM
I can't cum with a guy either.
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 110
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/15/2013 2:41:42 PM
haha wink your a douche....

A good lover, a really good lover can change everything for a woman that is for sure!
Joined: 1/23/2012
Msg: 111
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/15/2013 5:37:30 PM
Hi Kitten
I know it's different with each woman but I find that if I start off slow and pick it up as we go that it helps. I do know that women who ware more sexually active seem much harder to get off than women who are less so. I would say just relax and put yourself in the frame of mind that makes you feel most aroused before hand get your excitement up for yourself a bit before hand. If you go into it with a negative attitude it can't help. But then again you need a partner that is good at stimulating your mind and body. If your mind is in the right place and your partner has at least a little bit of experience. things will workout. I had a friend ask me if I had ever been with a squirter, Because he got freaked out when he was going down on is a woman he thought she had urinated. lol I replied that I thought all women are sqirters.
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 112
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/16/2013 8:03:24 PM
I cant have an orgasm either through intercourse. But I think just like someone else here said that its pointless to chase something that is impossible to have. Honestly there was only one time that I orgasmed from sex but it was only because I was under the influence and it never happened again.
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 113
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/16/2013 8:31:43 PM
i think your trying too hard to orgasm and not concentrating on whats important. relax and enjoy the whole act and orgasm will come naturally
Joined: 3/16/2011
Msg: 114
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/16/2013 11:47:42 PM
Have you tried laying on your stomach, legs closed, with a guy ****ing you from behind lying on top with you fingers on your clit, masturbating? You have the manual masturbation, the****penetration, and your legs are closed liken you like it when you cum.
Joined: 2/21/2011
Msg: 115
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/17/2013 12:22:52 AM
me neither. i even dont know how is that feel.
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 116
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/17/2013 6:20:38 AM

I'm 40 and have never been able to achieve orgasm with a guy.

What you posted is exactly what a long time friend of mine (20+ years back then) of your age (42 then), married twice (and divorced twice), told me about 12 years ago. She no longer has that problem (solved about 12 years ago and no, I never slept with her.)

I can masterbate and cum in minutes if I want, but can't seem to get over the edge with a partner.

She said exactly the same thing and, I'll tell you what I told her. No man, no matter how gifted he may be, both mentally and physically, can possibly know what your little finger knows. That is, exactly what should be done, how it should be done, and exactly at the right time when it should be done. No man knows as much as your little finger does (though, with a lot of practice, a man can get to know more - very, very rare.)

I get really close most of the time, then nothing. Talk about frustrating.

If you're like my friend, you've probably even cried about it.

I usually go into sex assuming I won't cum so I don't get too bummed out.

That's what you tell yourself but, deep inside, you go hoping that "this" time will be the time when the "spell" is broken.

I haven't established a gyn in my new town yet, but have been considering a sex therapist.

They might be able to help you if they are truly honest with you. Odds are they won't. My friend tried it to no avail, additionally, she is a brilliant MD.

And guys always think that they'll be "the one" but I think they overestimate their skills...or patience.

They'll change water into pina coladas before they make it happen for you.

I fall back on the idea that maybe when I meet my love, he'll take the time to get to know my body and find the magic.

He can take all the time he or you want. He'll get old, you'll get old and still won't get an orgasm. Once he gets too old, neither one of you will get an orgasm.

Fairytales. I know. lol

You got that part right.

Anyway, I was going to message you and tell you how she solved her problem. Not something I will share in public. If you remove the 75 mile restriction _and reply to this post_ (so I know you are interested), I'll let you know how she solved it.
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 117
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/17/2013 7:02:22 AM

i think your trying too hard to orgasm and not concentrating on
whats important. relax and enjoy the whole act and orgasm will come naturally

No it doesn't and the advice from men shows alot of ignorance and blame by men's towards women.

How about we call it like it is,If MEN had a clue how to do it,we women wouldn't have to go without or fake it.
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 118
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/17/2013 7:33:42 AM
I believe it is the man's job to find a way to make a woman cum.
Joined: 1/8/2013
Msg: 119
view profile
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/17/2013 8:28:07 AM
I can make you cum!
Infact I bet I can make you
have a squirting orgasm.
wanna try?
Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 120
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/17/2013 9:41:20 AM
Reading all these posts about women masturbating in order to givin me ** Ideas.....BRB!!
Joined: 3/18/2010
Msg: 121
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/17/2013 4:10:33 PM
well I make sure they cum before I go down on them then make them come then then we work until they cum, I had a GF she was not able to cum we went all night and she was able to have mutable orgasms. so have your partner get you off then go down on you and get you off then you should cum several times.I had a GF that used beads to tighten the vagina muscles she was awesome we had a blast all night and she had several orgasm.
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 122
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/18/2013 6:13:48 AM
Clearly you haven't been with the right man! You need to find a guy that puts his partner first and thoughly enjoys a women's body. Takes the time to find her errogeneous zones and doesn't just dive in thinking he's enough. Some women need more stimulation to build them up to orgasm. A patient man will make the effort to build a women's desire and passion so that she relaxes and can let herself go. If the women truly desires her man, she is comfortable enough to orgasm in his presence.
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 123
I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/18/2013 6:24:08 AM
Women should not worry about holding their guy off. Men are easy but a considerate man will put their women first. I can only speak for myself but my orgasm is the last thing on my mind during sex. It is more satisfying to me to leave a women completely breathless, thighs quivering, begging you to stop or to take her right NOW! That in itself is a huge turn on.
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 124
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I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/18/2013 6:48:17 AM
The guys (or women) here saying that "I could make you" are uneducated and inexperienced.

There can be psychological issues that are involved. Exploring those through therapy is a valid and typically productive option. A good example would be the woman who posted that the only time that she has was when she was very drunk; that should desensitize the body and make it more difficult, not easier. The reason would be that it altered her psychological responses.

Additionally, not every woman is "wired" the same. How the nervous system connects to the brain varies between individuals. Some will respond differently to stimulation of different points on the body.

I've had one partner who I can easily give multiple squirting orgasms from digital nipple stimulation, but doesn't want and won't respond to any type of clitoral stimulation. I've experienced orgasms with partners with stimulation of the web of the skin between the toes, the anal hairline, and more.

I've been through a couple dozen hours of sex therapy with multiple partners who had issues. It's amazing how the body and mind are wired. There are many ways to achieve orgasm. They all occur in the brain. There is so much more to it than a d*** and a clit.

Sex happens between the ears.
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 125
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I can't cum with a guy
Posted: 3/18/2013 9:09:09 AM

I can masterbate and cum in minutes if I want, but can't seem to get over the edge with a partner.

I bet that once it happens once, it will start coming easily, and then be possible in different positions. It seems to have happened that way with me with 'different' types of orgasms. Once it's happened once, you've opened a whole box of fun experiences, or mixing the experiences, etc.

I'm still waiting on the oral orgasm, though. Like you, I get "right there" and can't go over that edge. I'm sure when I do, it's going to add a wealth of new experiences and sensations. I can only have the big one from penetration, but I enjoy all the sensations of the different types and multiples along the way.

Relax, enjoy, and just allow yourself to feel the sensations. I think what a lot of the men are trying to say when they say "they can do it" is that they understand the value of having YOU be the receiver of pleasure. Knowing they are trying, though, is not going to get you there and probably will make it worse. My advice, be selfish. Stop thinking about him while having sex, close your eyes, and go somewhere where all you feel are the sensations you are feeling, then let whatever comes naturally occur, whether that be continuing, stopping, or brushing him out of the way and finishing. The key is to turn your focus inward.

Have you tried this: woman on top, legs closed, vibrating****ring.

You only need to get that first orgasm, then your body will know and it gets better from there, IMO.

I happen to think many men who think all the women they've been with are getting an orgasm by penetration have probably been duped at times.

I agree, and would add that women have lots of different types of 'orgasms'. That doesn't mean they had the big one. Men can't distinguish that easily. Women know what I'm talking about. It's all good, but only the big "one" or "ones" are what women are generally referring to in posts like these.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > I can't cum with a guy