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 roadrunner2525
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 27
I miss him so much it hurts.....Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Message 29. You are right, I have been misinformed. I keep playing these slot machines thinking that the big payoff is coming because it didn't come when I was young. Now I know not to give up on it because it is definitely coming, probably by next week, lol.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 28
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History
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/7/2013 12:07:18 PM
Been there, done that. He was indeed the love of my life and all the other cliches. But, there's nothing to be done about it but move on. Yes, you can fall in love again. It won't feel exactly the same but that's ok.
 charmed222
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 29
reply
Posted: 3/8/2013 7:10:41 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. We all live in God's timing and He works in mysterious ways. Perhaps God had these things happen for a purpose?

Open yourself up to love, make a list of all your goals and aspirations for your new life with your new love, what he looks like, where you'll live, what he does, and envision this in your mind. Pray to God for this man to show up in your life. In the meantime, do things for yourself. Get a pedicure, buy yourself flowers, spend time in nature and in the sunshine, etc., etc. You can receive love when you have love in your heart for yourself.
Forgive him, but most importantly forgive yourself for any part you feel you played in this situation.

Mistakes have been made by all of us and we all learn from them. You can't live in the past, you must look ahead for the brighter future God has in store for you. God has someone especially picked out JUST for you. In God's timing, he'll find you. God wouldn't create your soulmate without the ability of you finding him. You'll find one another, wait and see!

Blessings of Light and Love to you.
 hippy_dude
Joined: 2/26/2013
Msg: 30
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/9/2013 4:26:04 PM
i didnt fall in love twice . my only time i was in love was painfull . oh dam it hurt to break up . so i hear what youre saying years later missing that once in a lifetime love. i guess its possible to have another love that strong and emotionally filling although it didnt happen again for me. . i left her over 14 years ago and sometimes i could tell she was thinking about me but im not going back . i suffered enough in that short realtionship . how many times can you be lied to and played for a fool . we had a bond that was very strong. instant close friends . to bad her life was screwed up or i would still be with her and not on this website complaining.
 xxxDINOxxx
Joined: 3/6/2013
Msg: 32
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:12:57 AM
I think you will probably get to experience this again. After all, 33 is not really usually "the end of the road" or the time to be writing epitaphs on your love life. You really never know. I don't think it will (probably not) happen from a site like this, for example (though granted you never can say for sure). But I'd bet on it reoccurring. The important thing I think is not to try to "replace" the person who is irreplaceable for you, and don't go around comparing everyone else you date to that person, etc, but just try to start fresh with someone else , and see what happens. You never *replace* the other one exactly, they always have a special place in your heart that no one will remove them from. But finding someone else with whom you share such a great mutual feeling and experience is really what happens. Yes it's possible; look at all the people who have even been widowed and such, and believed they'd never love again. It happens.
 LarsonGuy
Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 33
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/10/2013 11:02:57 PM
Yes you can survive and love more than once my mother 's first husband was killed 4 years after they where married . Her 2 ( my dad ) together 22 yrs he passed to cancer. she has been married to my step dad for 17 . so yes you can fall in love more than . Just breath and open up too it when think it might be there .
If it does not hurt when it ends it might have been real :)
Good luck
 differentkind91
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 34
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/11/2013 9:04:28 AM
To answer your question it is possible to fall in love again, just as hard as a young passionate love.... absolutely.
It I only going to be a matter of time, and a matter of healing; however, it sounds like you have some crosses to deal with before you can completely heal.

Now my fiancé of 5 years passed away Jan 3 2013 and I am still healing. still hurting everyday.
but I found her by accident 6 years ago, and eventually I will move on and find someone who can help me to feel, love, and live again. but I know I need to get through this first. it will be the only way I will truly be able to open up enough to love.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 35
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/11/2013 2:41:52 PM
I kinda think that the pain of heartbreak can condition your heart to love even deeper next time.. if you let it.

It can crack it wide open, flowing free.. or leave it all scarred over, atrophied from the pain. The response is up to you.

I've been trying something new lately, every time I think of him.. I picture the happy family and marriage that he could never have had with me. Right down to all the details that I didn't fit. It hurts like m-effing hell just to imagine it, but I do want him to be happy, and visualizing it helps to free me..
 xxxDINOxxx
Joined: 3/6/2013
Msg: 36
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/11/2013 2:56:30 PM


I've been trying something new lately, every time I think of him.. I picture the happy family and marriage that he could never have had with me. Right down to all the details that I didn't fit. It hurts like m-effing hell just to imagine it, but I do want him to be happy, and visualizing it helps to free me..


That sounds like it only makes it worse. Like hurting yourself, kind of, no? Mentally at least. But....hey if it works...or helps somehow. That's not how I'd go about it but to each their own.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 38
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:01:34 PM
It does help, to accept the finality. And like I said, I do want to know that he's happy.. and picturing it makes me feel happy. After I get past the initial nausea/punch to the gut, lol..

Better than reminiscing about old times, or fantasizing about some type of reconciliation that's for sure.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 40
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:12:03 PM
I blame me in this one, I'm the one who kept letting it happen.. because of some misguided hope I guess. And because of lies I was telling myself, I should be over it by now (he probably is).. but unfortunately it takes me a while to get over someone once they make it into my heart.

Anyway, I'm sorry you got hurt too.. and I'm glad you're enjoying the gym :)
 certainfaith
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 41
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/11/2013 7:10:55 PM
You are so right! I used to always tell myself if I didn't find the one that I could let all the walls down for by 50 then it would be too late.
Funny thing was, I found her on my 50 birthday. I was sure it was a sign from the heavens, and she looked like an angel. It was love at first site for both of us. I ignored all the road blocks that layed in our path, and about 6 months later, after remembering her repeated words" you have know idea how much I love you" I let go completely. I put my trust in her words, and totally surrendered my heart to someone for the first time in my life. I actually cried in happiness a few times after this, as I held her in my arms. I thought they were tears of relief because I had finally found the one.(Now I wonder if I had sensed the end) A couple weeks later the farm house she had put a bid on fell through. We had planned on moving our famlies in together. Two weeks after that she told me she had decided that the changes each of us would have to make, was more then she was willing to do.
I had been married twice, but had never loved and trusted completly until then. I will never forget the long lingering pain, but I chose to move on, and it is well hidden inside. Will I ever trust again? I think so, after all both ex-wifes cheated on me, and I was still able to trust again.Still, it`s hard not remember the pain, but to have the chance to feel the way I did, when I thought my search was over. I have to think I want that again, but I will never use words to blind me from the facts in front of me.
So, I am thinking, 54 is the age to find true love.....2 more weeks...were are you ms forever?
 different3
Joined: 2/22/2013
Msg: 42
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/12/2013 2:49:11 AM
Well for me it stopped hurting kinda? it's been 4 months and the relationship was only about a year.. But there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about my ex.. She dumped me for another guy. I was the only one in tears over her for the first 2 months..I wonder when and look forward to the day comes when in a 24 hour period goes by when I don't think of her.

She was horrible to me never put the effort into the relationship I put in. Forgot my birthday twice in row, and was lazy with the single present she gave 2 weeks late. She wanted to be treated like a princess, and wanted to treat me like a servant. Always wanted me to be there for her but never there for me. I realize there are better women out there, and I really hope that once I find one that I will forget all about her.

But a question for you guys and gals. When has it been long enough to start seriously dating someone new? I really don't feel like that I could honestly date another woman when my ex is still on my mind. I know for sure it's over with her and I will never be with her. But I will probably end up trying to do the exact same things with a new girl as I did with my ex, trying to replace the memories, and I don't think that will be right..
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 43
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/12/2013 11:45:56 AM

But a question for you guys and gals. When has it been long enough to start seriously dating someone new? I really don't feel like that I could honestly date another woman when my ex is still on my mind. I know for sure it's over with her and I will never be with her. But I will probably end up trying to do the exact same things with a new girl as I did with my ex, trying to replace the memories, and I don't think that will be right..
It's tough to answer this.

Do you feel ready? If so, give it a shot. And do different things, so that you aren't walking the same ground and stirring up those old memories. It can help to get out and create new memories.

Though I've noticed that at times it can almost make it worse. Where you compare almost every move they make to your ex, where being around someone else just makes you miss them even more..

Not to be all cliche, but I guess time is the only answer.. you'll know when it's right :)
 offroader831
Joined: 2/15/2013
Msg: 44
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/12/2013 2:46:58 PM
That passionate feeling is wonderful and it comes at a price if the other side decides to leave for whatever reason. It sounds to me like you were committed body and soul and that is truly amazing on your part.

The truth is...we only meet a few people like this in our lifetime. You just have to allow yourself or give yourself a chance to see with your heart once more. There are lots of good men out there that will treat you right and will love you the way you deserve to be loved.

The best thing to do is to give yourself some time to heal. Accept that things didn't go the way they should have...can it be salvaged? Are the feelings mutual...there is obviously one side tha doesn't think so. I know, I think about a special someone from time to time and think about what could have been. You nor I can change their hearts...and we must make the decision that they couldn't appreciate our contribution to their lives. We have to accept that we must move on.

Heal as best you can and know this for a fact...he is not the only one that can make you feel this way. This is why healing is so important. The next guy you meet could be the guy.... We can be compatible to many people...the trick here is being ready.

It would be unfair to that guy or even you to encounter yourself with mixed feelings and confusion. He should encounter the real you....a woman that is ready to love and accept and move forward. Yes we all carry the scars of love, wear them with pride pretty lady. The woman I am looking for must be capable of loving just like that.

Now get back on your feet, wipe those tears off and go find him!!! Don't be afraid to be picky!!!

God bless you and peace be with you,
Roberto
 purfectblonde169
Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 45
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History
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/14/2013 4:49:39 PM
Hi, yes it sux I met a guy from louisiana and he had to go back it does hurt we still stay in touch but i dont think were ever gona get back together, maybe he says we will soon but and would it still be the same. Feel your pain
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 48
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/22/2013 8:26:07 AM
I think it was said really good earlier in a post about he/she was the person you used to think you knew. If there is a breakup, normally it is because one or both are not what we envisioned them being. We see what we want to see and then if it ends, we are sad and live in a fantasy like state. Easier said then done?....Yes. But maybe the best thing to do when a relationship ends is to say in your head that the relationship wasn't exactly what you used to think it was. We remember all the happiness someone brought us, the memories etc etc but we leave out the blunt truth of the matter that it ended not because of all those great memories, but of things that one or both people were not happy with. Now that is a wide range of things: I was in a relationship where it ended and she was never over the issues she had with men, she was over the men but the mental abuse that was put on her left her very much not able to be in a loving relationship. Yes, it hurt but again, she was not "all I thought she was" and even though there were great memories, I faced the whole picture and I am at peace with it. If anything, it is great when a person has feelings that make them hurt sometimes but along with being able to care, don't lose sight of yourself and the whole picture. It really does allow you to heal and move on!
 shine1274
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 49
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/22/2013 9:57:57 AM
I am a member of this club. There is something I realized maybe 5 years ago. Never approach new relationships looking for one that meets or exceeds the feelings you had with that one. Each relationship is as unique as the people involved in them. Let them blossom into the flower they are intended to be, rather than force it into something it isn't. It just leads to disappointment. Embrace it for what it is and the happiness it brings you today.
 ARadicalPunk
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 50
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History
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/23/2013 2:12:10 PM
Time to grow up sister. If you can't afford therapy, take the advice of your friends or family, and just need a healthy escape, I would suggest the following: yoga and meditation.
 bluefish7070
Joined: 11/28/2012
Msg: 53
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/27/2013 3:03:32 AM
so......he's a criminal, he lied to you, cheated on you and now he's in jail and he wants you to wait for him.
....which it sounds like you are.
you are only on a dating site to pass some time with some virtual aquaintances.

my advice:
you are doing the right thing.
wait for him
you 2 deserve one another.
 Jackals38
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 54
view profile
History
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 3/27/2013 1:03:40 PM
While i feel bad that this happened to you, i feel MUCH worse for your current husband.
 BOBY-14
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 55
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 4/1/2013 12:30:02 PM
is no therapy for this solution only loves one oder then that in just sex sorry
 Quest_1492
Joined: 3/7/2013
Msg: 56
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 4/1/2013 4:21:53 PM
Only an open heart can find love again.
 nikkisenko
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 57
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 4/2/2013 5:07:56 AM

I have since loved other women. Some with great intensity, others, lightly, like a whisper. You will love again. But feel not the pain, but the idea that you have loved with severe intensity, and are willing to do it again, with the right person.


Outmind - I love the way you worded this!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 58
I miss him so much it hurts.....
Posted: 4/2/2013 6:42:14 AM

I feel numb and scared that I will never feel that way again.


And your husband doesn't do it for you?
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