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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Fear of getting naked?      Home login  
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 Lemmonia
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 26
Fear of getting naked?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Re: Fear of getting naked

OP, I disagree with the poster that said you were not ready to date, and shouldn't be here. You have been very honest and you are facing your hangups. We are all a work in progress, and there is a lot to be learned from meeting, dating and reading the forums.

I suggest you get your hands on the burlesque DVD created by the pussycat Dolls, (very sexy and provacative but not pornographic ) take a belly dancing class, a zumba class, even a hip hop beginner's class depending on your level of fitness. All of the above will boost your self confidence and get you back 'in your body'.

If you can't see yourself doing any of the above, start slow... get down on the floor and get up twenty times in the a.m and 20 times in the p.m. ... fitness doesn't have to cost a thing!

Best of luck, you're not alone!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 27
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 11:06:07 AM

At my maturity now, I do not need to have a camera rolling while we enjoy, or take pictures of the activity we are engrossed in


Oh you naughty, naughty man.


There is no fear of getting naked in my mind, but much more......fear of not!!


I know what you mean....pole dancing in the nursing home is probably forbidden :)


That's what candles are for. You also can slip off his glasses and kiss him.


Good idea, remove the glasses...blurred vision in candle light hehe

...mae
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 28
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 11:38:03 AM
Scented candles, no lights, honey powder...oh wait? The question again? lol

I fully understand what you mean OP. However I think we women are harder on ourselves than others are of us. (so I say as I nibble my rabbit food lunch)! lol...A lover once told me that confidence is all in the way a woman carries herself. To an extent I agree but if we personally are not feeling our best, we convey that. Get to a plateau where you feel good within your own skin and go with it. The world is full of delightful surprises! lol..and sorry but have to agree with some of the others here. If you are dating and drop men when it gets to the sexual stage, you are not playing fair.
 Bogie_Bacall474
Joined: 1/19/2013
Msg: 29
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 11:54:55 AM
"As a lifelong athlete, I feel proud of my body."

I think you should feel proud about your body whether you are athletic or not. Love and sex and the joy of another's body is not for the perfect people, the models, the size 4's or the joggers, it's a gift we give each other and it does not matter the package. There is a fit for everyone.

I've felt comfortable in my own skin for a long time, wrinkles, scars and all.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 30
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 11:55:49 AM
One of the artists took nude full length pictures of 26 different women, all ages, shapes and sizes--he titled it "You are beautiful" and every one of them are. It took up a whole wall and was one of the exhibits I was the most proud of. It was seeing the beauty in all sizes of women that helped me accept myself.

I am not nor have I ever been a skinny person, and while it is true that men are attracted to looks I have never had an issue attracting men--I personally think attitude has much more to do with chemistry and attraction than most on here want to acknowledge.

I do have to agree what you did to those men was a bit mean, please contact them and explain--not get back with them but so they understand why you broke up with them and stop believing it was something they had done.

For the poster who wants to say or imply that body size has to be a certain way to be attractive--that is complete bull--different men like different things and the issue is not what a man likes or dislikes--it is what or how the op feels about herself--your attitude is more damaging than helpful--once she learns to accept herself she can cherish herself more and do more to improve her outward appearance but it takes acceptance to start the process.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 31
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 12:02:45 PM
I have to be a straight shooter and lay down the law. It is true than men prefer an attractive girlfriend/wife. Congratulations on loosing the weight. Keep up the good work.

But to some extent.... and I think you will like this... when a man falls in love, his women looks better to him than she really is - when seen through rose-colored glasses. Funny but true!

It's like the spot on the wall in your home - you know its' there, because you live there and know your home intimately. But your guests will never know.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 32
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 12:09:33 PM
TNT I find myself liking you a great deal! lol..thank you for sharing that with us gals!
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 33
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 12:16:44 PM
^^ What a sweet thing to say, thank you.
 gofurguy
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 34
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 12:25:55 PM
i cant agree with you more Phoenix, we all have seen others naked if you have gotten that far hes not going to say a thing , just watch his eyes get big and the smile that appears on his face. women sure over think this one
 perre62
Joined: 12/2/2012
Msg: 35
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 12:26:06 PM
As always....

Beauty lies in the eye....

Of the beholder....
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 36
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 12:28:33 PM

One of the artists took nude full length pictures of 26 different women, all ages, shapes and sizes--he titled it "You are beautiful" and every one of them are. It took up a whole wall and was one of the exhibits I was the most proud of. It was seeing the beauty in all sizes of women that helped me accept myself.


As a nurse I see nothing beautiful about obesity any more than I do with any other life threatening health issue. Being proud of being fat is like being proud of having high blood pressure. You want to address the issue ASAP...especially if over the age of 40.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 37
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 12:34:27 PM
I don't care about the issue, but I have read that being overweight is healthier while being too thin or obese is unhealthy. That is thin or obese by the standard medical terms, body image is another discussion, people sometime see them selves as too fat when they aren't.

But it's well known some women are senstive about being seen naked by their lover.
 Vox_Populi
Joined: 1/8/2013
Msg: 38
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 12:54:43 PM
I've had the same problem, OP. Just about every first date, there we are sitting in his vehicle, finishing our coffees, and the inevitable making out begins. It gets to the point where he's got his pants down around his ankles, my bra pushed up with him sucking my nipples, & then he tries to remove my pants. No way. An alarm goes off in my head & I flail & scream & push him away, not wanting him to see my naked body. I run down the street to my own vehicle, & roar off. When I get home, I block the guy on POF.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 39
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 1:10:16 PM
Now this is why blind men get so much sex.
 liloleme53
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 40
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 1:11:16 PM

But to some extent.... and I think you will like this... when a man falls in love, his women looks better to him than she really is - when seen through rose-colored glasses. Funny but true!


Wow. Thank you.

I seem to have opened a can. Not of worms. What a wonderful discussion. And do I wish I had started posting on these forums when I first decided to finally bite the online dating bullet. You guys are great, no matter your opinion.

I agree to my doggedness. I am a dog. Or a cat. Whichever is worse. I accept the damage I caused.

And to the confidence in your skin no matter what. This is just one that I have been running away from. For far too long.

AND to the health risks of obesity. I am studying to be a nurse and when one really learns about the consequences of obesity it does make one pause. But do is a lack of exercise. My clients (patients in the old days) have issues with all sorts of things by simply lying around.

And again. Do I wish I had started posting to the forums before. I may have been kinder to those poor guys.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 41
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 1:38:08 PM
Two other comments.

1) As much as women are afraid of what a new man might think about her body, a man that is over 50 and hasn't had sex in more than a year is concerned or terrified that his equipment isn't going to work. I would bet more than 80% of men in that group are concerned about this.

2) Several PoF members have gotten married or are in LTR, they aren't what most guys would call a hottie, they are pretty average looking body, a few pounds or more than a few overweight like most of the women on this thread.

My two bits on the subject.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 42
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 1:46:26 PM
Who can you POSSIBLY be talking about, DragonBits?

Not hotties???

[Looks around in confusion].
 liloleme53
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 43
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 2:02:04 PM
One more from the OP:

I had a dude on PoF tell me I didn't fit his "looks" requirement.

I told him he didn't fit my "human" requirement. And blocked him.

Funny thing is....he contacted me on another site with his "real" photos...that showed a man decades older than his PoF photo. Said he didn't mean to hurt my feelings and that he thought women wanted men to be honest.

I reminded him he was sub-human and blocked him again.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 44
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 2:02:18 PM

Who can you POSSIBLY be talking about, DragonBits?


http://www.pof.com/member20639699.htm
http://www.pof.com/member1167299.htm

I am a short, fat, old, bald, guy, so don't pick on me.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 45
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 2:59:41 PM
If a guy truly likes you...
on many levels....
no matter how you look naked...
you will look awesome to him.

The trick is to know
if the guy really is into you,
or only wants to bang you.

good luck.
 grnecountrygirl
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 46
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 3:26:10 PM
Active Melaney get off your high horse and join the rest of humanity....your none empathy and callousness to obese people is offensive in that your a nurse...shame on you...
Ok now that Ive said that whats honey powder and where do you find it LOL!!!!
God bless you all, I have a better respect for members of POF on the forums...
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 47
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 3:49:34 PM
^^^^^^

No, just because obesity is becoming the norm doesn't mean it's any less of a threat to the health. Obesity is epidemic and the denial of it's consequences doesn't make them go away. The obese just like like smokers can chirp together all they want about how wonderful they are but the reality is they are on a one way track to a poor quality of life, disability and an early death.

Obesity should never be seen as 'beautiful' any more than any other unhealthy lifestyle or disease should be seen as beautiful.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 48
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:00:38 PM
Miss Active all due respect. Don't you think we understand exactly what you speak of? The OP did not start a thread promoting obesity by any means. Self confidence comes from many things, not just being overweight. Feel free to view my profile and you will see that while not overweight I am a smoker. None of us are advocating poor health. Nursing runs in my family. I "get" your point but again, it is not the general topic at hand
 liloleme53
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 49
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:02:45 PM

The trick is to know if the guy really is into you, or only wants to bang you


Pray tell, Stray_Cat, how can one decipher the dif?
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 50
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:16:54 PM
You can only know for sure, after!

I felt there were signs, but I don't want to write them down here.
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