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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Fear of getting naked?      Home login  
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 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 51
Fear of getting naked?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
If u r nervous, have a drink & do it in the dark the 1st time...after u break the ice...at least u had dates...many on here don't seem to fare as well...

don't forget to wear nice undies & shave ur legs, maybe get a pedi!

do a search on women ur age in ur area & u will see no Barbies, & relax!
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 52
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:40:55 PM
For crying out loud, get off the fat crap. This discussion was about reluctance to take of clothes due to self perceived body issues.

Then, the egotistical thin started ragging on the possibly fat, and through subtle hints and jargon decided to insult everyone that has an extra pound relative to the current trendy medical reports they probably haven't read. You medical professionals, of course you see sick people, they wouldn't come see you if they weren't sick. My chubby neighbor hasn't been to the doctor in years. The last time I was at the doctor's office, the nurses were far heavier than me; they seemed really healthy. Obesity can never be an epidemic, you can't catch it by someone sneezing. It can reach alarming numbers, but it ain't contagious.

You thin folk, enjoy your body...quietly. You folk that are not thin, enjoy your body...and don't listen to the others. For those folk that once were not thin and now are thin...good for you, now be quiet.


The trick is to know if the guy really is into you, or only wants to bang you

Pray tell, Stray_Cat, how can one decipher the dif?

The other poster was right, you can't tell the difference right off. You have to get to know them enough to be able to tell if they're lying. That can take a little time or a lot of time depending on too many factors to even try to list. The important thing is to do something. Quit waiting and wondering, test the field and see what happens. If it's bad, get over it and try again. If it's good, well, you'll figure that one out on your own.
 waitingforyoutoo
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 53
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:44:54 PM
I will assure you in this knowledge of men. The majority of us would get naked on a beach in front of everyone regardless of wrinkles, scares or whatever.
Heck, who am I trying to kid... we would get naked at the drop of a hat. As far as how we look or women, we even do it just like you do. Would I lose weight for the right woman...of course The question is would she? If you cook for me you control what I eat. When I cook for myself I stay as healthy as I can. As far as scars or other things, then that is just your body and nothing you can do about it unless you have millions to work with. A man will accept you for you on those matters unless he thinks he is the best looking one out there with that type of attitude.(which women tend to have that way of thinking alot more then men and why they chase those types of men). Don't shoot the messenger when you know I speak the truth.
Most men have dirty jobs,outside in the sun jobs, just common labor. Not many women get out and shovel crap.

All I am trying to say is don't be insecure... you are who you are. In France there are nude beaches and if everyone in the U.S. walked around nude they wouldn't think anything about it.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 54
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:45:02 PM
people do the " love yourself the way you are " but in reality, that attitude is what taxes every countries medical system.


absolute BS , but if you can convince a lot of people that its true ...

I'll sell tons of my diet berry jungle juice..!
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 55
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 4:57:16 PM
Lillimarten was correct.
You can only be 100% sure after sex breaks out.
By if he calls.

But before that...
you can only work on your end.
Guys angling for the bang,
use your own girlish fancies..needs...and fantasies against you.

Dating is about romance and all that.
But a guy into you will be interested
in that co-worker who annoys you.
Your cat(if any)
Your sink being stopped up.
(and he should try to fix it.)

In a word....the boring stuff of your life.
If he is all about the romance
and not the real(yours or his)...
watch out.

That is the best advice I can offer.
Some guys will do whatever...say whatever...
and even fake an interest in your cat...
if there may be sex at some point.

So don't go there
unless you an handle him not calling.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 56
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 5:30:47 PM
Here's a hint that has helped me in these troubled times shown to me by a friend that had the same worries as the OP. My "friend" just blindfolds me as soon as I enter her "room".

Easy peasy, though there have been a couple of times it's taken a bit of time to find my glasses after the evening, or afternoon, or morning.

What the phuck was the question again?????
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 57
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 5:35:45 PM
lol...that one made me laugh Walth! Thanks! And such a great idea. One I will put to use when and if!
 nightsounds
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 58
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 6:18:57 PM
such disdain for our bodies- especially women!
not surprised- everyday there are tons of beautiful models, actresses- who OMG- they're beautiful and over 50- AS IF they didn't have surgery, liposuction- makeup artists, expensive clothes- they aren't reality, but they are put in front of us like they are women who just "take care of themselves and eat right" oh please-

i am thin- but how many times i have heard - men like curves only dogs like bones- and women as much, if not more than men- have pointed out how less than curvy and endowed i am- don't i wish i had more curves- NO, sorry i don't- i am happy with myself-

maybe, it's because i work with the disabled and have seen what can happen to the body- illnesses that ravage the body...

OP, you're beautiful- don't accept negative comments- you are unique- you are healthy, embrace life-
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 59
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 6:51:08 PM

It sounds like you are realistic about your appearance, good for you.
It is delusional to think that the way a female looks nude won't matter! Absolutely delusional Oprah, feminist empowerment crap.
If you body is truly unattractively heavy with rolls of fat, saggy breasts and cellulite, most males shall not like it.
Stating the obvious, losing weight and toning via exercise is the fix.
Pretending that if a male loves a female it won't matter is also a tad unrealistic. And he must be attracted before he can develop love.


In reality "men and women" want to have some amount of physical attraction with their romance partner. At this age a few wrinkles, a (true) few extra pounds and silver hair are to be expected.

None of the men that I know expect a woman in her 50's or 60's to be Barbie. But we shouldn't use this allowance as an excuse to abandon ship physically.
 Lemmonia
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 60
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 6:51:39 PM
OP, if you" look at yourself with a critical eye", you'll project that. You can't buy self confidence but I believe you can learn self acceptance.

By having a beauty routine even if it's simple, a workout that makes your body feel good, and taking the time to contemplate whatever might be erotic or sexy to you, you are celebrating yourself as a sexual being no matter what your size.

Just as "you can't say the wrong thing to the right person", I believe the right person will accept and overlook our (perceived) imperfections.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 61
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:05:55 PM

absolute BS , but if you can convince a lot of people that its true ...


Obesity and excess weight is very unhealthy and causes increased health problems. No this is not BS. If obesity wasn't causing increased health care costs insurance companies would not be paying for Bariatric surgeries. It seems like every evening on the network news another report is made on something new that obesity causes. We are a generation who are living with blinders on concerning this epidemic.

We look down on drug and alcohol abuse but try to look the other way with food abuse.
 ScientificExperiment
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 62
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:42:49 PM
Trust me. A guy is not going to spend that much time with you unless he is already attracted to you! Breaking up with a guy before he gets a chance to reject you is a defence mechanism but it isn't really getting you anywhere. You might be missing out on a wonderful thing. Even supermodels tend to be critical of themselves. Now get out there and don't worry so much! :)
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 63
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 7:44:07 PM
Crap, the post disappeared!! However:


I said it before, YOU ROCK GIRL.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 64
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 8:00:39 PM
Obesity and excess weight is very unhealthy and causes increased health problems. No this is not BS.


Severely overweight people ,usually do not live long enough ,to have a higher health care costs ,than someone who lives 30+ years longer

While weight may add some to the costs , same as walking or jogging can increase the number of replacement surgeries

A person can be fit , and still have unhealthy habits or be perfectly fit .. before a long battle with cancer.


But what I was responding to was weight being the cause

taxing every health care system in the world
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 65
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 8:08:57 PM
OPie, if he's been out with you *five* times, he has a very good idea of what you look like nekkid. And obviously doesn't givadamn. Dim the lights, find a gorgeous negligee, take a deep breath, and go for it!
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 66
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 8:32:02 PM
I was nervous about this, not having dated in a very long time and things had changed, until I went ahead and did it.

That was the only thing that helped. And boy howdy did it ever help, too! Taking that step is sooo nerve-wracking... but you will be SO glad you did!
 grnecountrygirl
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 67
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 8:33:19 PM
This is ridiculous how two people have chosen to use this thread to promote negative crap about obese people. Like the old saying, if you our without sin, then throw the first stone,..what maybe we all should go commit suicide so the healthy people dont have to pay for the health costs related to obesity..What about alcoholism, and addiction to prescribed drugs( nurses are the second largest group of abusers to drugs and alcohol). Maybe if people were allowed to feel good about themselves and not be trashed, they wouldnt look to hide their pain with food, drugs or alcohol. Nothing wrong with trying to give somebody a positive perspective about life, who the hell are you to judge anyone,,,
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 68
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 11:26:17 PM
You dont necessarily have to .be entirely naked, use your imagination on that one and also the lights can be dimmed. Alcohol is a great leveller also and you can slip on something pretty to get out of bed. Plenty of men are overweight too and it does not stop them. You are lucky that a man would go out with you 5 times and no sex, in this day and age. lol!!! If you really hate the way you look you are not going to get anywhere with the dating scene when you bale so often. You need to get fit the way you would like and forget about dating for while I would say if it bothers you so much. I understand your feelings and I would not put myself out there if I felt unattractive and hated the way I look. You will only attract losers who sense your lack of self esteem. Looks do count and if a guy is not turned on by your body, it wont go anywhere in the long run. You would not fancy a guy who is saggy and overweight either I am sure,
 wilsoon222
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 69
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 11:56:54 PM
OP, I fully concur with previous statements that if he's trying to get into your panties he ALREADY, in effect, has seen you naked many times, at least in his mind. Your body type is evident from your pictures, and - especially if he's seen you in person - there is nothing of your overall general shape or form that hasn't already registered with him. Therefore, he's already accepted your body; so your subsequent attitude of self-acceptance and openness to him are powerful attractions. But, do shave your legs.
I won't comment on specifics of the obesity health issue, except that I agree that it's likely to be a ticking time bomb. Personally, I much prefer "willowy" body types, but about 5 years ago I, Mister Discrimination, danced in the moonlite with a very heavy woman with large folds of flesh on arms and - presumably - legs. She was solid, though, and carried the weight on a curvy form. For some reason, perhaps because all that flesh felt so good, so cool and soft, that it reminded me of gorging myself, when younger, on banana and creamy vanilla ice-cream splits (with a cherrie on top, of course), I lusted after that woman's body. (Yes, she was also a nice lady). I can tell you that her body heat definitely had my lower member fired-up. Point being, as someone else recently said, I can easily understand a man becoming fascinated with a larger woman's anatomy. It could have been psychologically induced, for him; pehaps feeling comfortable only with large, accepting women because of a pattern of earlier rejections from the slender gals. So, yes; the world is chock-full, for unfathomable reasons, of taste variety.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 70
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/27/2013 11:57:05 PM
Op,im sure your man will be so excited at the prospect of the two of you getting naked together and having some fun that he couldn't care less about a perfect body.

So relax,enjoy and have a wonderful time
 liloleme53
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 71
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/28/2013 5:20:24 AM
A number of people mentioned alcohol as a relaxant. Sadly for you and gladly for me, I don't drink alcohol. Candles, a scarf over the light, blindfolding (heck yeah!) all sound good to me. Be naked and go forth!
 The_Whole_of_the_Moon
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 72
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/28/2013 6:22:23 AM
i'm naked right now and yes it scares the hell out of me.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 73
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/28/2013 6:48:23 AM

It sounds like you are realistic about your appearance, good for you.
It is delusional to think that the way a female looks nude won't matter! Absolutely delusional Oprah, feminist empowerment crap.
If you body is truly unattractively heavy with rolls of fat, saggy breasts and cellulite, most males shall not like it.
Stating the obvious, losing weight and toning via exercise is the fix.
Pretending that if a male loves a female it won't matter is also a tad unrealistic. And he must be attracted before he can develop love.


I agree, but of course, the man is immature if he isn't attracted:


Granted this is hard to find a mature man, but they are out there... keep dumping them until the right one shows up.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 74
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/28/2013 8:09:52 AM
Readbefirewriting:

I cannot understand when/why emotion trumps realism in these forums but it is in abundance.


It's because people try and be nice. The tendency, unfortunately is to coddle. The reality, however, is that it's better to be realistic as it helps someone turn their life around and get on a healthy regimen.

The reality. 97% of men are attracted to attractive women. Another other 2% are gay. The other 1% are the exception. We all admire other traits in a woman but we have no desire to pair up with Mother Theresa or Barbara Bush or Oprah Winfrey. Fit women are way more attractive to most men than overweight women. Fitness is a variable we can all have a major, major influence on. We can't change out eye color or cheekbones but can sure change our waistline.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 75
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 2/28/2013 8:56:46 AM
Many of the posts on this forum provide good reasons why we should be dating someone closer to our own age who is realistic and accepting of what the age and experience can do to the way we look.

OP yes if someone cares deeply for you they are more likely to overlook and accept your flaws but you need to be able to accept yourself and love yourself the way you are in order for someone else to do the same. Do what you need to do the be the best person you can be phyically emotionally and mentally so you like who you are and you are more likely to find someone who will embrace that.
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