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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Fear of getting naked?      Home login  
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 mark181252
Joined: 2/25/2012
Msg: 101
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Fear of getting naked?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
when ive met new partners and im now 52, i have always taken things slowly and moved at my partners pace. most guys would get naked at the drop of a hat but its important to be respectful of women and their feelings as appearance and how a woman feels about her body is crucial to her so guys go at her pace. love your girl and that means all of your girl.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 102
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/2/2013 3:23:23 PM
If you want to date someone who is somewhat close to your age you really have to expect some wear and tear. Otherwise you would have a very small pool to choose from.

So you have a fear. A phobia of sorts. The way to get over your fears is to face them. Get naked darling. I bet you'll find it's not so bad. You are presenting yourself honestly in your profile and your pictures so if a guy agrees to meet you he knows what he's getting into. By asking you out he has already accepted you. I think the people who would be afraid would be the people who misrepresented themselves and might have to face the embarrassment of a lie.

Funny how men don't seem to have the same fear about getting naked and it's not like we are all that great to look at. But when it's time to get naked we don't care how we look. You don't like the way I look turn the lights out : )
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 103
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/2/2013 10:16:35 PM
My grandfather always told his grandchildren (both male and female), to "get what you want" -- be it black, white, yellow, brown, rich, poor, fat, or skinny", and never try to change someone and make their life miserable." It was good advice, too!

So many people are "delusional" -- they want what they know they can't have. But people are also "accepting", too -- if you accept yourself and "do the best with what you have,"
 Just___Jim
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 104
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/3/2013 5:21:46 AM
Message:
My grandfather always told his grandchildren (both male and female), to "get what you want" -- be it black, white, yellow, brown, rich, poor, fat, or skinny",



^^^^^^^^^
And if it's close to you Heart, I tell my kids to look what you needs are first,as everything else will fall in place in the long run. Yet you can't have one without the other........similarities in the real world will help too if your in it for the long haul.

Caphish!
 RichL1852
Joined: 11/8/2010
Msg: 105
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:30:36 PM
If you can't discuss your fear with your potential lover then maybe it's time to rethink about it .
 Slate56
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 106
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:42:40 PM
That's why they made light switches....
 metterduder
Joined: 12/7/2012
Msg: 107
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/3/2013 9:23:18 PM
I'm a few pounds heavier than I should be but I'm not grossly fat or have rolls or anything...just well fed I guess. Anyhow, I don't ever have a problem undressing in front of a gal and I think that the teasing and pleasing is what they desire more than a perfect body and I seem to have developed a good method to make a woman feel calm and easy and be herself around me and I've been with big women, thin women, older women and some young gals too. But, just to be honest, when you get horizontal and naked with a person it brings on a much deeper relationship than just holding hands and talking. When you are being intimate with someone you really need to be sure that you want the relationship to go that far because if it does and you're not being honest with them or with yourself, then feelings are bound to be hurt. I'd rather "dump" someone that I'm not getting good vibes rather than just have a piece just to say I had a piece. I like loving a woman who's enjoying my company as much as I am enjoying hers and I really am hoping that I'm going to one day find me one that I won't be looking any further for because as we get older, sex is important in a relationship but I think doing it three times a day is gone for me in this lifetime but better conversation and better communication and trust are more important for me.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 108
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/5/2013 6:32:21 PM
The man is in the same room with a naked woman and sex is imminent...he is not going to care how you look. Turn off the lights if getting naked in front of him bothers you.
 Dancing_4_You
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 109
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:37:19 PM
it could be worse. if you were a man you would worry about your penis size or ED!

i think it all boils down to living in denial about weight gain until you are put to the task:) i felt much better about myself after i lost weight. but almost three years later, i recently put on 15 pounds in six months. it doesn't seem to bother my boyfriend, but it sure bothers me. so, taking it right off again. i have learned my lesson. plus, i feel better with the weight off.

i have a beautiful friend in her 40's who showed me her scars as well as her after pregnancy belly which is worse than most. she is in the beauty business and fears the aftermath of a botched surgery tuck as hers would be extensive. most of my friends with bigger boobs are now sagging and most maternity bellies have issues, even if thin like my friend.

fact is most men have issues and most men and women have had spouses or partners. so, when you really fall for someone, it seems not to matter much. even tv stars look bad in real life nowadays. tv has us attuned to something that does not exist. can't air brush a real woman or a real man. if a guy gives a good massage and good in bed, his missing a donkey penis is pretty much the same issue. but, still they worry. so, look at it that way and even the "feelings" playing field.
 Rapunzel1964
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 110
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:53:20 PM
Freudian,



I'm far from convinced that that is true. If I go to the hospital I see far more slender people than I do fat ones. When I go to the doctor's office, there are seldom fat people there. When I go to the emergency room, there are a lot of fit people there with breaks, strains, and wounds. Old folk homes are full of slender people. While all the time the heavy ones are in the stores, malls, restaurants, driving, and visiting slender people in the hospitals.

Sure, there are a lot of overweight people, but that doesn't imply any cause and effect; just prejudice.


I have wondered about this, too.

I worked at an inpatient hospice unit for a number of years.

I always wondered why so many people who had lived healthy lifestyles all of their lives were there. We had a number of slim, life long vegetarians, long-distance runners, even an Olympic medal winner who died at the unit- all full of cancer. I saw a number of people die of lung cancer ho had never smoked in their lives. We rarely had an overweight patient, and when we did they seemed to be a lot less frail than the typical pt.

Of course this is all purely anecdotal.

I wonder if maybe overweight people are more apt to die suddenly- from heart attack or stroke for instance, than from a long illness. Thus, they would require hopice care less often than thin people?
 Rapunzel1964
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 111
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/5/2013 9:09:31 PM
OP-

Have you ever seen the movie "Shirley Valentine?"

Brief synapsis- Middle aged, overweight British housewife leaves jerk husband, and finds herself in the Greek Isles.

The part of the movie that struck a big chord with me, is the part where she is having sex with a very attractive Greek man. She suddenly pauses and talks right to the camera saying something like- Oh my God, he kissed my stretchmark!"

I think that's what we all want- a man who will kiss our stretchmarks- and we won't mind, and neither will he. In fact, we'd be joyful in it.
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 112
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:30:09 PM
If a guy is interested he will wait until you are comfortable and he will show an interest in you and your life and you know it is genuine. Otherwise he will talk sex, want to do it as soon as and he will use all the lines on you that you have heard before.
However often after sex, feelings do change so you do take that risk, I guess. However you may not want to see him again if he is a dud root. Just use the raincoat every time.
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 113
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:31:53 PM
Shirley Valentine was cute looking, not so overweight and had sex with a not so attractive Greek man....lol!!
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 114
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:13:31 PM
Since the film was released, the term has been assimilated into our lexicon, making many women overly aware and insecure about this part of their bodies. And this increasing insecurity did not go unnoticed by plastic surgeons and personal trainers who claimed to be able to fix the problem


Women tend to have significantly bigger ankles and lower calfs than men to for the size of thier feet. This is the main reason a mans ski boot will not fit a woman even though the rest of the boot fits.

You either have big lower calfs or you don't. Myself I have the opposite problem I always have to add extra padding to my ski boots to pad out around my lower calfs and above my ankles - no amount of cyling running walking or specific calf exercises have ever made a difference to that... the problem was not significantly different for me anywhere in the range of 140 lbs to 210 lbs
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 115
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/6/2013 4:39:41 AM

I wonder if maybe overweight people are more apt to die suddenly- from heart attack or stroke for instance, than from a long illness. Thus, they would require hopice care less often than thin people?


I have read obese people are more a burden on the health care system because they don't usually die early. But they get life long debilitating illnesses like diabetes, heart disease, diabetes, treatable cancer, hypertension, high total cholesterol, high levels of triglycerides stroke stroke, liver and gallbladder disease sleep apnea and respiratory problems, osteoarthritis and gynecological problems.

Overweight isn't as big of a health care risk as many people assume, and being a little overweight can actually be more healthy than being too thin.

See this link in the health forum of PoF.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts15556829.aspx

Smokers on the other hand are less of a health care problem because they usually die early.
 Allan Anger
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 116
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/7/2013 4:15:54 PM
Holy heck, we all get older, and ka ka hapennes, sitin hen her listsenten to old rock, wichi love. Dont sweat it kiddo
 Allan Anger
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 117
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/7/2013 4:17:11 PM
Holy heck, we all get older, and ka ka hapennes, sitin hen her listsenten to old rock, wichi love. Dont sweat it kiddo
I gotta naked once scared the the lord be oute me,,;lol
 Allan Anger
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 118
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/7/2013 4:18:43 PM
it all makes sence now..NOT
 Allan Anger
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 119
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/7/2013 4:22:12 PM
sweetie, you go girl...if you like him...go for it dont feel bad about anythyhing in your back ground
 mlo50
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 120
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/7/2013 7:10:13 PM
Get over it. Exercise! Stop eating junk. When you've see a big change in your body you'll have so much more confidence. Love yourself or you'll end up not being able to love anyone else and believe me when I say that if a man does not find you attractive naked you probably will not keep him especially if he has a great body. And I know that you want a man with a great body. So, get with the program and stop whining like so many other men and women.
 psjpirate
Joined: 1/30/2013
Msg: 121
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/7/2013 9:14:11 PM
Honestly...
If you are getting naked with the right person there should be no fear.
They will like you for all that you are..
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 122
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/7/2013 11:33:22 PM
Op, I could understand if you were jumping into bed with a prince or Brad Pitt. LOL. So you may be a little over weight. I'm sure men has seem much worse in their day. Most men our ages have beer bellies, a little over weight and with some gry hair. You accept them for their imperfections correct? Remember they have aged also and most less than perfect. So what the big deal. It's just part of life.

To be fair to the guys you date, be kind and treat them as you want to be treated. Maybe take the time to drop them a line and explain why you acted that way. I'm sure they will understand. You sounds like a nice person but fear got in the way.
Good luck and happy fishing.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 123
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/8/2013 1:37:19 AM

mlo50
Get over it. Exercise! Stop eating junk. When you've see a big change in your body you'll have so much more confidence. Love yourself or you'll end up not being able to love anyone else and believe me when I say that if a man does not find you attractive naked you probably will not keep him especially if he has a great body. And I know that you want a man with a great body. So, get with the program and stop whining like so many other men and women.


OMG, You're 35 years old, You have no idea what the near future holds for you. Unless you're very lucky to have those certain genes, then in the near future your body will have some real surprises for you. At some point your Metabolism will change without any warning and what you did before won't work anymore. Most likely you're on the cusp of a change that's going to blindside you, leaving you wondering WTF happened.
 ROHgirlzz
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 124
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/8/2013 8:43:37 AM
As long as men are realistic and don't expect an older woman he is about to get intimate with .. to have the body of a 25 year old sports illustrated model. Don't worry about it ladies. If you are in the 'mood' and you are digging each other.. just let it happen and let that beautiful feeling and your confidence in your sexuality take its course and enjoy! If you connect intimately he won't care if you aren't a plastic barbie doll straight off the shelf.

No worries .. Go for it !
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 125
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Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:26:36 AM
Good point!!......Just go for it!!

If more of us men would just look in the mirror and "actually" see what is in front of us, and not what we remember, most of this would be put to rest!! The same goes for most women, and if they would look in the mirror and see what really is overall, and not every Flaw, wrinkle, and brown spot, most of this would not be so traumatic!!

Life is to short, to think that we can be 25 our entire lives, and unless one can afford the plastic surgeon to do touch up work year in and year out, we will all age......hopefully in a graceful way, but age none the less. And, if I can point this out, even if one does pay the surgeon to do all that work, the results can be as distracting, if not more so, than what your intentions were in the first place........just ask Joan Rivers, or those who see her all the time!

When two people care for each other, they will overlook much of the small stuff, end enjoy what is there.....but there is a line that needs to be considered, and that is when the small stuff gets so large that neither can overlook it!! Most are not there, and most should just enjoy what is, and not worry about what is not!!

cd
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