Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Fear of getting naked?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 126
Fear of getting naked?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
My favorite part of this whole ridiculous post:

And I know that you want a man with a great body.

Uh, NO. No thank you! I can't speak for the OP, but I and many women I know are not the least bit interested in a guy having a great body. It makes us feel our bodily flaws, be they real or perceived, all the more keenly! Give me a fella with a bit of a belly and some age-sagging here and there any day, please. I can relate to that and feel comfortable with it. And the more relaxed we are, the better the humina humina is!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 127
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/8/2013 10:05:20 AM
Every time I see this topic his the top of the forum charts, I want to say.

I always had a fear of not getting naked.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 128
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/8/2013 10:27:20 AM

Turn off the lights if getting naked in front of him bothers you

That won't really work. There is nothing sexier than a woman who "feels sexy". If you feel sexy, you will be in the eyes of the guy you are with and he isn't going to care one bit about natures toll.

The hard part is women like the OP who don't feel sexy or even good about they way they look. That's going to be a tough hurdle as it will taint one of the best aspects of the relationship. At the very least YOU must be ok with yourself before looking to others for acceptance.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 129
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/8/2013 11:27:12 AM
C deacon you are spot on as usual. You have the right outlook on life. I love your posts. Thanks
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 130
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/8/2013 6:18:21 PM
I have no fear of getting naked. The person who ought to be afraid of my nakedidity would be the one seeing me naked. But, like many things in life you accept, grow accustomed and sometimes look forward to ......
 NoPrinceHere
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 131
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:59:38 PM
I liked the full length mirror idea, but it alone won't work. Look in it every morning and say "I like who you are becoming and I like the changes you have made in your life". Then make some changes. The easiest way to build self esteem is to do esteemable acts, you decide what they are, be realistic, failure will be less likely. You are still cute.
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 132
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/9/2013 8:04:19 AM

A jerk is the person who PURPOSEFULLY screws with peoples heads and has no remorse. A jerk is someone who sees someone being pushed around and laughs....

A little late coming in as a defensive player aren't you? Read carefully, I said she was 'being' a jerk, not 'was' a jerk. Remember, from the guys perspective, she was dumping them for some unclearly stated reason. She didn' t come out and tell them there was a self confidence issue. You don't have to be a jerk to behave like one from someone else's perspective. And, regarding 'purposefully', she didn't do it by accident.

No, she isn't a jerk (I don' t think), she just wasn't thinking from the other person's perspective.

And, your post reeks of the 'poor me' camp. Nobody understands me, those people don't appreciate me, I'm disconnected from society. It's all their fault.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 133
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/9/2013 10:20:05 AM

I liked the full length mirror idea, but it alone won't work. Look in it every morning and say "I like who you are becoming and I like the changes you have made in your life". Then make some changes. The easiest way to build self esteem is to do esteemable acts, you decide what they are, be realistic, failure will be less likely. You are still cute.


Speaking of mirrors.....years ago I was watching some talk show and the guest speaker said that we should take off all our clothes and stand in front of a mirror. If we don't like what we see, how do we expect others to? I did take his advice and took off all my clothes and examined my body, trying to see what a man might think. Needless to say, I thought it best I put my clothes back on...hehe

So the following day at work, I repeated what the guest host had said. One of the guys asked if I had done that and I said yes. He quickly piped up with, " I am available if you would like a second opinion"


...mae
 Beminetonight
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 134
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/9/2013 11:49:16 AM
One thing I'll say, remembering this is the over-45 section, is you're not likely to be seeing perfection, and you're not likely to be offering it either. On the other hand, you can offer what you have, and accept what someone else has, and agree that it's all freely shared. Approach it like that, and nobody needs to be afraid.
 soicat
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 135
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/9/2013 1:01:56 PM
Women show their age in their face, and in their hands. Most women over 40 look better naked than they do dressed, simply because their bodies look younger than their faces do, often much younger.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 136
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/9/2013 2:49:41 PM
Not just standing.....kneeling.......laying next to.......behind.....never mind......;)

OT......Getting naked together is an awesome thing, and as long as the desire is there, the lights low, and the mood right.......all is good, and will be even better once you do that over and over and over again!!

cd
 swannie52
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 137
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/9/2013 2:55:11 PM
At the end of the day so to speak , once in bed and warm and cuddling and holding and loving whats to worry about?
 swannie52
Joined: 7/16/2012
Msg: 138
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/9/2013 2:58:53 PM
But thats fine-and a good question. think about this though What about men? I feel the same way. I have the same overweight problems plus an umbilical hernia protrusion. And scars. I took a while to get used to swimming in the pool last year. i hate it and I am just as nervous as you and all the other women who might feel the same I well know and remember in my youth I used to have a gorgeous 'love-making' body and I was never nervous about strippoing off anywhere. But that was then. So I would say your fear is probably shared by your potentiial partner. You are very brave to have broached the subject anyway... Well done. just know a lot of us men feel the same nervousness.
 Bogie_Bacall474
Joined: 1/19/2013
Msg: 139
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/9/2013 3:40:19 PM
Some of us old broads need to lighten up about the body image. I'm not a cougar and don't plan on having sex with a 25 year old. I want a man in bed with me, a man my age that has grey hair or maybe no hair, I don't even mind a bit of a tummy and I know he'll have wrinkles, his skin won't be as taunt as it used to be nor will his muscles. and he will come with scars and lumps and bumps. I want reality because I am real. I think the majority of men my age are fabulous and I'm sure that the majority of men our age think the same of us - we're what we are and we're real. And all of us are a bit nervous the first time with anyone. Just go with the flow and enjoy.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 140
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/9/2013 4:57:38 PM
Not just standing.....kneeling.......laying next to.......behind.....never mind......;)


underneath, on top.....*Grin*


OT......Getting naked together is an awesome thing, and as long as the desire is there, the lights low, and the mood right.......all is good, and will be even better once you do that over and over and over again!!


Over and over again *huge grin* I like the sound of that...



I want reality because I am real. I think the majority of men my age are fabulous.


They are....unfortunately most of the men I've gotten to know through this site reside on the other side of this snowbank...lol

...mae

 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 141
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:15:40 AM

I had the same problem when I first joined a dating site and I am 19 years older than you.

ROHgirlzz: Sorry for quoting your post over on Ask-A-Guy but I wanted to send you some feedback (yet didn't want to lock that thread with off-topic chatter).

You should consider lowering your filter for men's ages on here. Just saying...
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 142
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:32:53 AM

As to involuntary scarring am thinking that affects less than half a percent of any populace?

Oh no, scars are very common. I have several just from an active, outdoorsy childhood, and doctors are always a little surprised to hear I've never had any surgeries yet, I guess it's just that ordinary. Appendix, gall bladder, broken bones at some point in life (some require surgery to put back in place), hernia, all totally everyday things.

It's true about the male-female dichotomy when it comes to body confidence though. I think a lot of it is tied up in our boobs. Such a big deal is made of them societally! And they are rarely the same after we've gained and lost weight, that generally wreaks havoc on the non-muscular tissue which comprises the bulk of them.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 143
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:39:34 AM

Are you saying I'm frigid???....lol


you've never experienced a Canadian winter - especially out where mae lives! yowza!

:-)
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 144
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:07:26 PM
you've never experienced a Canadian winter - especially out where mae lives! yowza!


Calgary is actually not a very cold place. A much more pleasant place to spend a winter than many places in Canada with the exception of the South west coast of B.C and only if you like the rain. If you want cold you don't even have to go very far North in Ontario - White River is south of Calgary and significantly colder having recorded a temperature of -58 C. Personally I would take a winter in Calgary over a winter in Montreal or Ottawa or probably even London.


Without pause, I decided .... I needed a new mirror


Are you telling us that you are expecting 7 yrs of bad luck??
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 145
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:20:04 PM
stand in front of a mirror. If we don't like what we see, how do we expect others to? I did take his advice and took off all my clothes and examined my body


We must have watched the same show ,

Without pause, I decided .... I needed a new mirror ...!! lol
 deserthykergal
Joined: 11/6/2010
Msg: 146
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:45:05 PM
OP - relax! When it gets to the point when the clothes come off, the guy is going to be so aroused he is not going to concentrate on your flaws. He probably won't even notice. We women are our own worst enemies. But what you have to do is concentrate on what makes you happier with yourself, whether it's being naked or fully dressed, and go from there.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 147
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/10/2013 11:16:58 PM
Calgary is actually not a very cold place. A much more pleasant place to spend a winter than many places in Canada with the exception of the South west coast of B.C and only if you like the rain. If you want cold you don't even have to go very far North in Ontario - White River is south of Calgary and significantly colder having recorded a temperature of -58 C. Personally I would take a winter in Calgary over a winter in Montreal or Ottawa or probably even London.


Actually Dino you are right. Calgary temps can be considered balmy in comparison to other provinces like Winnipeg, Manitoba, where I'm originally from. There the temps can drop to minus 40-45 and stay that way for weeks. With the windchill, it gets damn frigid. They don't call Manitoba the a$$ hole of the provinces for nothing....

And this year in Calagry, we've been exceptionally lucky in that we have only been dumped on a few times and the temps have remained relatively mild......so far (keeping my fingers crossed)
What I think is funny is that some of my neighbours to the south think we have it cold here...lol

Oh and btw....There are many advantages to living in colder climates.... like taking off all our clothes and getting all nekkie under the covers .....you know..... to maintain body heat in cold weather.


Are you saying I'm frigid???....lol


Nope...was referring to our snowbanks...lol

...mae
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 148
view profile
History
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:02:25 PM
Ah Mae.....Always the positive attitude!!.....lol

OT........Getting naked is mandatory if two want to be one and enjoy the results.......no matter the temperature outside or inside!! The real point is to find that person that enjoys the results of being naked and not the process!!

cd
 ROHgirlzz
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 149
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/12/2013 3:35:52 PM
OP .. try this: When you are with the guy at his home or yours, wear a sexy 'corset' , some thigh high stockings and heels and bikini panties. He won't have any idea that you are not 'flawless' and he won't care when he sees you. Have some sultry music going on in the background, turn down the lights and light strategically placed candles. Act seductive. Mission accomplished. He goes home (if he goes home) .. a very happy man, and YOU had a very wonderful erotic evening.

It works !
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 150
Fear of getting naked?
Posted: 3/12/2013 4:19:55 PM

ROHgirlzz
OP .. try this: When you are with the guy at his home or yours, wear a sexy 'corset' , some thigh high stockings and heels and bikini panties. He won't have any idea that you are not 'flawless' and he won't care when he sees you. Have some sultry music going on in the background, turn down the lights and light strategically placed candles. Act seductive. Mission accomplished. He goes home (if he goes home) .. a very happy man, and YOU had a very wonderful erotic evening.

It works !


I'm not sure I'm getting the full picture, could you come over and demonstrate this technique for me? :P
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Fear of getting naked?