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 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 101
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
"Going Out for Business" is NOT sarcasm - it's a clever play on words that is SUPPOSED to be tricky.

Sarcasm comes about when people type a normal sentence, but intend the emphasis on a particular word or phrase...
"Of course, everybody knows that." - A normal sentence in a text message or e-mail. Now emphasize different words...
"Of COURSE, everybody knows that."
"Of course, EVERYbody knows that."
"Of course, everybody knows THAT."
"Of course, everybody KNOWS that."
- People online are miserable about conveying that emphasis in texts and e-mails. Add to it that abbreviated 'text speak' and you get no-vowels gibberish like this;
"f crse, vry bdy kws tht."
No how the hell is ANYONE going to understand sarcasm in a reply like that?

Maybe the writer is not guilty of bad text speak for putting the words down, but assuming the other is just a crabby self-important jerk instead of recognizing the mistake in communication between each other - yeah, they ARE guilty. People need to stay open-minded and realize the sarcasm and humor thing has a SIGNIFICANT hurdle to get over in ANY communications that's not real-life, face-to-face or verbal phone calls. Bottom line - save the sarcasm for real life conversations, because the online stuff is just ASKING for trouble.

If you'd rather assume the rest of the world hates you and you'd rather wait for the one, magical person that 'gets' you, no matter what form of communication you use, well, good luck with that - you've narrowed down your audience down to a tiny sliver of the population that CAN translate your sarcasm - but keep in mind it's an even SMALLER amount of THAT sliver that may/may not find you attractive and/or dateable. Talk about a needle in a haystack.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 102
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 9/25/2013 12:27:42 PM

i'm well aware of the basic foibles of human communication. i'm too lazy to get a link but I remember something somewhere about another expert theory that says even up to 80% of *verbal* communication can be misunderstood

I tried to help you out, but was unsuccesful at finding your expert.

Since you are aware of the foibles of human communication, and don't care if people misread you, why are also blaming them if they get it wrong?


here is a different kind of example. there was a little antique shop in Maryland that used to put a big sign out on the sidewalk on the weekends, "going all out for a business sale". clever. most people read it as, "going out of business sale".... whose fault was that??

of course it's the fault of the reader.

Actually, the advertiser probably intended it to be read as "going out of business", to lure in the unwary, without having to deal with accusations of false advertising (I don't know about the States, but in Canada businesses can be fined for having "going out of business" sales when they aren't actually going out of business). The human brain only takes in in some of the information it's constantly being bombarded with, because it considers itself quite able to fill in the blanks with what it knows is usually correct. This is not something people have conscious control over; it is something the the brain does all on it's own - and the majority of times it's correct. So in your sign, the brain immeciately sees a familar grouping of words "going - out - business" and quickly inserts "Going out of business" into the conscious mind. So, my answer in this scenario is that the wording of the sign was deliberately intended to be misread and thus it isn't the readers fault for misreading it.

There are two errors in the paragraph above. Did you see them?

but they just assumed the worst (although they could be right) and then decided they were mad about it.... two distinct decisions that were entirely theirs alone.

Just as it's the decision of the communicator to communicate ineffectively or "cleverly", and then blame the reader for getting it wrong?

"omg I read something sarcastic, now i'm annoyed!" really??? who the fuk cares.

I prefer it if people understand me, so I guess I care about how I come across. If sarcasm doesn't come across well in print, then I better be darn careful about using it, or take responsibility when someone responds poorly, imo.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 103
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 9/25/2013 12:43:45 PM
Let's take the example of the pictures of women showing off body parts on purpose then getting all pissy about men hitting on them for sex and not wanting to date them...that's a personal issue, they are not going to stop doing that and blaming the men because they are either too dense or are really that ridiculous. I do not know what that has to do with sarcasm but I assume your point was that the written word can be misinterpreted. All communication can be misinterpreted, body language can be too, not all people are good at interpretation. It's not my problem if some people don't like me, they have every right to not like me, not like the way I speak/write/move my body, more power to them, the fact remains, if we don't match up, no one loses. I'm not looking for someone I have to spoon feed myself to, I hope they aren't looking to be spoon fed, if they are, they've got the wrong person. You present yourself as you are, it's not up to anyone to try and make someone like you. The point of your profile is to not only find those you may match but to weed out those you wouldn't be interested in and they are not interested in you. This need to fulfill some kind of hand-holding for those who don't like your personality is a grand waste of time.

Have you heard of the studies that say atheists are smarter than religious believers? Sarcasm is like that, one side might think they are smarter than the other side and of course the other side might think they are smarter. (not everyone gets all bent out of shape like that but many do) Fact is, they are two totally different kinds of people and they do not match. You can spend your time in a relationship trying to convince others that you are right, dammit, and spin your wheels, or you can accept that you simply do not see things the same way and not try to force yourselves into a relationship with that person. What would make a difference in this mismatch is if the mismatching area doesn't really mean anything to you in a relationship. How big is the elephant in the room? Some people don't care much how they are taken, they find other parts of the relationship to be what's important. For others it's a huge annoying elephant and you are going to build resentment and it's just going to be a lousy relationship. But telling people that being who they are is wrong, that you are better, that this is what they should do because dammit, you know everything....good luck with that.

This thread was started to tell women/girls that being sarcastic is not a turn on for the OP so these types of profiles should not be written this way, as though OP is the master of the profiles. It's stated that these women/girls won't get his attention, what's missing is that they don't want his attention, they are looking for someone who likes them as they are. Why people make post criticizing others profiles is only a way of saying I'm right and you are wrong so there, now change to my way!!! Just another form of pity/whiny posting.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 104
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 9/25/2013 1:23:12 PM
If a woman views herself as the 'sarcastic type' and is honest about her profile...she is going to have that in the profile in most cases.

Men who dont appreciate a sarcastic personality have now the been fairly warned and should seek attention eleswhere.

Why is this so difficult? Is it beause many men are not reading the profiles and finding out via a sarcastic response that the woman is sarcastic? Because other than that, I fail to see how it affects you when someone openly states they carry a personality trait you dont like and you dont know them ,you dont speak with them, and you dont end up in the same space as them in your lifetime. Who cares??

I like some sarcasm once in awhile. Like most anything, it is all about knowing your audeince, moderation and good timing. If it fails every so often, I am not overly worried. The folks who know me and love me know I am not trying to hurt anyone and that's all that matters. They may tell me not to give up my day job but thats about it.

I dont know that Id call it a desireable trait, but I also dont think Id call it undesirable. It is just a personality trait....and it really depends on all of the other traits within thier personality and how they all co mingle together. I can take someone being sarcastic if they are generally in a good mood, easy to approach and not mean spirited on the regular.

If you dont like sarcasm and someone says they are sarcastic, move on. If you dont like sarcasm and someone you are trying to get to know comes across as sarcastic, move on. Trying to change people is not an option. Someone who likes sarcasm will like that person and you can try to find someone like your own self, who doesnt use/like sarcasm.
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 105
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 9/25/2013 1:25:25 PM

Sarcasm can work in the right environment... but online is NOT one of them. Sarcasm over the internet comes across as usually angry or bitter, not humorous -- including in these forums. You can 'advertise' sarcasm all you want in your profile, but demonstrating it is an entirely different matter. Save your sarcasm for the real-life date, and you'll be a helluva lot better off.
Just because someone doesn't 'get' your joke online doesn't mean they have no sense of humor -


of course not, isn't that the point, separation of interest amidst unsophisticated speech, unless you are
suggesting sheep spiel, which kinda goes against your "open mind"

if pedestrian humour works for you and others, mazel tov
 2MUCHisNOTenough
Joined: 7/29/2010
Msg: 106
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/12/2014 9:12:48 PM
I noticed the same thing. Why would someone advertise that over, say, claiming to be funny or having a great sense of humor. My theory is that these are people who have strong anti-social traits and who want an escape route when someone calls them out for being rude. They say, "you just can't handle my sarcasm."
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 107
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/12/2014 9:41:43 PM
Actually sarcasm is quite common in social groups that like a dry wit, a few sarcastic barbs here and there, with a group of people who appreciate it. Those who don't get it or don't like it, they usually have their own social group to hang out with. There's no problem until one side thinks they need to bust the chops of the other side and get all mad if their profound insults don't make the other people feel the putdown pain. Sarcastic people usually just laugh at those who try to condemn them from social groups by calling them anti-social and rude. People who are anti-social and rude are hardly ever funny or good at sarcasm.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 108
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/12/2014 10:17:09 PM
I like sarcasm directed at anyone else but me.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 109
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/13/2014 8:01:39 AM
Why does everything have to be a zero sum game with so many people on this site? If someone says they can be sarcastic, it means that they can be at times, it doesn't mean that is their only form of wit or communication and that all interaction with them will be with that inclination. I see some of the people on here that are militant in how they view sarcasm as the ones with the bigger issue, not the sarcastic ones...


Anything form of communication can be misconstrued in a digital format when dealing with strangers, it isn't only sarcasm that can claim that crown.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 110
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/13/2014 7:17:23 PM
I happen to think people who can't laugh at themselves...have an issue with sarcasm. (and security).




I know what their future looks like.


What does their future look like? Seriously.

(or not)
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 111
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/13/2014 9:07:40 PM
aanarchist: no prob, I wasn't making assumptions (if you were referring to moi, ).

Being a bitter biatch or dckhead is not what we are talking about though.

Insults are in the eyes of the beholder?

I read the forums, and sometimes I'm blown away at the quick wit, sarcasm that some show, I ALSO appreciate the tough love. Sometimes tough love is sent through humour...sarcastic humour.

I understand that some may not get it, but I don't believe that coddling them will help.

A cuff in the head might. (not) sarcasm!!!

If people were brave enough to own their sh1t, maybe they may stop it? recover?

Besides, it's nice, or not so, to have many opinions presented many ways.



 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 112
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/13/2014 10:47:09 PM
^^ So true.

The reason I give the long-winded comments to people I think are tripping all over their own feet is because I've been there and it took someone telling me the truth and some good therapy to wake up and look at myself instead of whining about the bad men. I was a mess and while I knew I was always hurting, I kept asking Why Me!?! and not seeing that it was because of my behavior and my choices, so I'm trying to give help to someone back, you know, pay it forward, because the blunt, cold truth is what helped me. I am trying to help, I am not always correct, and certainly not always helpful, but I'm trying and I just won't lie to someone in pain looking for answers. I will not pat someone on the head and enable them and worse, egg them on.

In person I'm witty, although I was much better at it before I became disabled and seem to have lost some of my intelligence, (which I miss more than my hair!). But I've never been know to be a mean girl type, although it seems to come across online that way sometimes. I wouldn't bother to post if I didn't find the person or the topic to be of interest. Some of us regulars get accused of being here just to bash people, I don't think of wit or sarcasm to mean you are cruel, but if you don't have a sense of humor that goes to the sarcastic side, of course you probably won't like it. That doesn't make anyone wrong, it just means many people are not compatible.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 8/11/2013
Msg: 113
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/22/2014 9:15:17 PM
I don't think sarcasm is funny either. I think it's hostile and rude.
 jpwrnglrwmn
Joined: 10/21/2013
Msg: 114
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/22/2014 10:07:56 PM
In small doses, and at the right times, it can be humorous and appreciated. Sometimes, I'm self deprecating, but rarely do I direct that towards others, unless they really piss me off and/or deserve it.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 115
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/23/2014 8:38:05 PM
Interesting.....sarcasm. I have been told I can be sarcastic, but rarely is it mean. I have been told I am extremely witty, along with sometimes a dry humor. I can generally find in humor in almost anything....
Could it be that some people really don't know the true meaning of sarcasm?

==
Not sure women think sarcasm in general is a desired trait. Personally, I think most women desire someone with a good sense of humor. Of course, deciding on the type of humor is another story. :)
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 116
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/24/2014 12:13:59 PM
Six pages when the answer is-- some people like sarcasm and some don't, so don't date people with humor you don't like. There's no reason to start a thread based on bashing people with wit.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 117
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/24/2014 12:52:06 PM

Posted by DrivingHarmony2:
"Could it be that some people really don't know the true meaning of sarcasm?"

Your have precisely hit the nail on the head, my friend.
Some people are of the mind meanspiritedness is synonymous with sarcasm.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 118
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 2/24/2014 1:36:35 PM
Agree with driving and eric.

Some really don't know the true meaning of the word sarcasm.

I will never say I am sarcastic, I will say I am funny, have a great sense of humor, a smart ass, great banner etc.

If I see a profile and see that someone says they are sarcastic, I know what they mean but it is the wrong word they are using.
 acoolguy1059
Joined: 3/23/2014
Msg: 119
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 3/5/2015 10:03:18 AM
I agree, the number of women online who list "sarcastic" as a quality trait is quite puzzling. It is definitely not a good thing. I never respond to any add where a woman thinks sarcasm is good. I take it to mean that she is probably rude and inconsiderate.

What's weird about it is that they think that men like it LOL! Alot of the problem with women's profiles is that they are all copied from other women's pages. Instead of writing about themselves they just read and copy other women's words. Hence all of them have the same things, "not for games, not looking for a booty call, kids come first etc".....Stop reading other women's profiles and be yourself!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 120
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 3/5/2015 1:23:33 PM
Why would women, putting what they like in their profiles, care if it weeds out the men they aren't interested in? Isn't that what we all do? I've never copied a profile from someone else, I'm pretty sure women don't use copied material anymore than men do, what's with this polarized bashing of a gender? There's never any reason to start a post that says...Why do men do this? or Why do women do this? If a profile does not suit you, move on to another one. If a whole gender does not suit you, a dating site may not be your best bet.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 121
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 3/7/2015 3:15:14 PM
This, from when I first arrived in this place remains the comment that rings the bell for me.



alyosha
Joined: 11/13/2006
Msg: 52

Is Sarcasm Funny?
Posted: 12/11/2006 920 AM
I’ve struggled to overcome a tendency I had to use sarcasm, which my father was much given to. An incident that helped me was when my first-born was about 4 and we were having cherry pie for dessert, one of his favourites. He asked for a second helping and was given it then he asked for another helping and I said:

“Why don’t you just take the rest of the pie, Rafael?”

And his face broke out in a broad happy smile as he reached for the pie!

Whereupon I got an inkling that the possibility of making a kid immensely happy was a lot better than implying, sarcastically, that he was being a greedy pig.
 pacino233
Joined: 10/10/2014
Msg: 122
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 3/9/2015 10:43:01 AM
I think people get dry wit and sarcasm confused with one another. In the context of making a first impression I'd say to keep sarcasm to a minimum even if they do say they like it, as was pointed out above it may mean a different thing to someone else. I'd say if you've got to know each other then a bit of sarcasm can even be endearing (who hasn't had a dinner with their parents while they mock each other and laugh about it?) but before then it's a bit risky. Just my two pennies, I could be wrong.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 123
Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 7/6/2015 11:32:16 AM
No one but sadists and masochists think that sarcasm is desirable. Well, maybe people who grew up in tbose environments and, like domestic violence, think that is a way of expressing love and normal.

No thanks.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 124
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 7/6/2015 2:17:04 PM
^^^ LOL

Oh the irony
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 125
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Why do women think sarcasm is a desirable trait?
Posted: 7/6/2015 2:32:08 PM
Sarcasm is one way for intelligent people to try to educate less intelligent people.
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