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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > interested, but no chat.....      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 22
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interested, but no chat.....Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Maleman- I don't want to know how you come across the assumption it could be a teen boy........ do you go looking for teen boys on dating websites alot? Are you yourself a teen boy? I mean physically not mentally, are you a teen boy? Kids with adult profile's wouldn't keep much contact past the first e-mail with an army guy past the first, let alone ask to take them to yahoo. I'm just saying man lol.
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 23
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 2/28/2013 10:27:32 AM
Man, there are so many people here that need to be schooled on looking at the good side of a bad situation lol. I knew this already, but watching it happen never ceases to amaze me.
 brinaalina
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 24
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 2/28/2013 10:40:50 AM
army3, if you're just going to argue and try to defend yourself and the situation, then why did you ask us for our input in the first place???? so stupid, lol.
I don't understand this. Everyone just seems to be looking for validation and the second someone disagrees or tries to get you to see what's in front of you, you get defensive.
What's the point!?
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 25
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:00:54 AM
Wow- so much hostility. I don't get lots of guys e-mailing me, so I used the term women. I do realize that men do it too- relax a little. Yes, I know all about hackers and such which is why I told her that I wanted to stay here untill I got more conversation. Comp- you need to relax a little. I didn't mean to offend you, but alot of what you are saying has alot of hate oozing off of it. You might want to ask your doctor if there are any options you could look at for curing all that hate. That's one of the reasons war exists in the world- why people like me have to sacrifice their lives to protect the country they love- which you are a part of. Come on comp- don't be like this, I'd rather you be a little more friendly about society if you're gonna be on my thread. I just want people to get along.

Positive thoughts people- positive thoughts.
 grnecountrygirl
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 26
interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:26:43 AM
Army3, I read your profile and no I did not read all the other posts but I will say...your profile is very negative and judgmental regarding what you like and dislike about the women you may or may not choose to be with. If I was the women you were interested in, I would feel that I would not be able to meet your criteria and that you are looking for fault at all times.
Being military I know it can be difficult to get out of the military thinking regarding the way things should and should not be...remember your looking for a relationship with a civilian who may not completely understand the way of the military...and how you are trained to do what you do, go where your ordered to too,,to protect your country.
Thank you for your service and god bless you in your endeavors.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 27
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:34:39 AM
Listen to what has been offered as advice OP, and stop trying to answer each comment with some defensive attitude that justifies what you are thinking and have done, or do not ask for opinions if you truly do not want them, or they are not the kind you were looking for.

When in this situation, the best course of action, in my opinion, is to roll the ball to her court and let her know that you are interested and if and when she is as well, to let you know, and then move on as if you would be surprised if she ever decided to know you better........Think about it!

cd
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 28
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:42:54 AM
brina- I hear you. I see it too now. I don't know why. It's my personality? I guess it was more of a check that there wasn't something I hadn't thought of in the situation. That, and the fact that I like her profile that much is causing me to want to defend staying put on little to no contact. I don't really have a good argument for that line of thought because I realize that it's the truth of how it looks. People are trying to give me advice and I'm going around shooting all of it down other than the ones that give me a best case scenario. I just really don't want to walk away from something I shouldn't. I really want a good relationship, and I know that there are alot of differing factors out there that can stop it from happening. That also goes into me shooting down people that tell me to walk away, as well as her keeping enough contact to not make me feel completely brushed aside.

The point: roughly 90% of the advice I've gotten on here has been to walk away. Is that how relationships are supposed to work? Walk away when things are hard? No forgiveness or second chances when a mistake is made? Is that a fair analysis of the feedback?
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 29
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:45:45 AM
I'm sorry miss pole cat. I have certain things that attract me to a lady, and I know what they are. That's why I'm here- I think I know what I need to do now. Thanks for your input.

Rule # 1 of taking advice- consider the source.
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 30
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:47:48 AM
Thanks C. your advice made alot of sense. You and brina are right, I do need to stop swinging defences- it's not good for society lol.
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 31
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 2/28/2013 11:51:30 AM
heck yes comp- acid for blood, that's the way a combat soldier's supposed to be lol. I'm done on here though- I have the advice I needed. Thanks to EVERYBODY who posted- it's been a great time. I need to get off my thread and let people take it over now lol.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 32
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/1/2013 4:29:22 AM

The point: roughly 90% of the advice I've gotten on here has been to walk away. Is that how relationships are supposed to work? Walk away when things are hard? No forgiveness or second chances when a mistake is made? Is that a fair analysis of the feedback?


You are NOT IN a relationship! You've barely even spoken to her! Take a step back and realize what you're doing - you're obsessing over someone you have never met or spoken to! Plus, they are blowing you off. You like her profile, great. They are just words on a screen. You are obsessing over someone's words that may or may not even be true. People are telling you to walk away because at this point there is NOTHING between you two and she has made it clear she isn't interested. I mean, there isn't even anything to walk away from, just forget about it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 33
interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/1/2013 8:50:33 AM
^^^I'll elaborate on this.

Even if she is interested and because of her having kids and working she doesn't have time to date, OP - it's still a matter of you both wanting different things, if her kids are young this will continue for a long time...so why would you not walk away unless you're OK with dating someone you never see, talk to or spend much time with?

Walking away isn't harsh, it's not that you're not giving her a chance, it's that you're realizing she's not in the same place you are...and likely won't be any time soon.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 34
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/1/2013 9:41:37 AM
^^^ I was going to say the same thing at the end, but forgot, LOL Great minds think alike ;)
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 35
interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/1/2013 12:09:56 PM
I agree with brinaalina. She's not interested and too chicken to tell you.
 Sailing78
Joined: 3/13/2011
Msg: 36
interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/1/2013 11:23:30 PM

Is that how relationships are supposed to work? Walk away when things are hard? No forgiveness or second chances when a mistake is made? Is that a fair analysis of the feedback?


Walk away from what? A woman who doesn't give you the time of day to strike up an actual conversation? Forcing the issue when someone isn't interested in you is called stalking, obsessing, or creeping. Your interaction with this woman isn't just about what YOU feel or think about her. It's also what SHE feels and thinks about you. Doesn't matter how interesting you think her profile might be, if she's not interested in you (and her actions point to that) it doesn't matter how you feel about her. It simply ain't gonna happen.
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 37
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/2/2013 11:32:04 AM
Relax everyone lol. I walked away. I understood what everybody was saying on here. I was just having a hard time accepting it. I think the whole use of the rlp thing was wrong for me to use at the time. I was just basically saying that I didn't want to be a quitter about stuff. But there's a fine line between being a quitter and being a sucker. That line's called being right. I don't know if I crossed it, but I put as much effort into it as I could given the circumstances.
 grnecountrygirl
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 38
interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/2/2013 12:29:14 PM
Hmm Army 3 sorry you must have mistaken my input as interest...and from your answer I can really understand why someone would not be interested in you...egotistical, self promoting negative jerk and that women would be better off not knowing you...
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 39
interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/2/2013 7:13:12 PM
She has three kids so why would you think she would ever have any real time for you? She is contacting other men I would say and you are not on the top of the list.

I would take more care with the spelling too.

You cant say whether you would get on until you actually meet and I dont think that is going to happen. You will find all sorts of flakes and fakes on here so be prepared. So move on and good luck. BTW your profile is long winded and full of crap. The pics are not much better.
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 40
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/3/2013 8:35:22 AM
Thanks deep- that was sweet. Your profile is too short and needs a life and a picture :D My profile is designed to attract people who look for personality. I'm not just on here for the forums. Sometimes I follow a thread or two, sometimes I make one, but I'm on a dating website for a reason. Let the flaming begin.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 41
interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/3/2013 8:59:53 AM
brinaalina nailed it in the very first reply in this thread. I don't know what all the rest of this chatter is about. The phrase "beating a dead horse" comes to mind.

Reality is hard to take, but wishing about a thing does not make it so. If you want to try and buck reality, life says you stand a high chance of experiencing pain.
 army3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 42
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interested, but no chat.....
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:15:35 AM
Lol, we love beating dead horses on this site tnt. That and biting each other's heads off in the forums. I think some of the stuff people say is cute, so I just check this old thread every once in a while. I guess it's kinda theraputic to participate in the flame war that started- gives a good harmless outlet for the stress. Either way you look at it, it's no longer really on topic, just a bunch of people that come on here and talk crap without reading all the posts I made.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > interested, but no chat.....