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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > He says I have potential to be beautiful.      Home login  
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 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 51
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He says I have potential to be beautiful.Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I totally agree, which is why I said he has the potential of NOT being an assclown, implying that, at this point in time, he IS one.
 Yesready
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 52
Evaluate why you have these White Knight fantasies. They're
Posted: 3/1/2013 7:17:32 AM
Found a video on white knight fantasy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh974wzlzN4
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 53
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 7:18:02 AM
Frankly, I was looking forward to being on his yacht.


I wonder if the idea that this guy might be ooozing money might forgive him for his bad behavior in the eyes of some women. His might be an assclown but hey he might be a rich assclown.

IMO Donald Trump is a perfect example of how much a guy can get away with being an azz if he has enough money - some women might even call his arrogant manner confident.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 54
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 7:28:41 AM
Good point Dino.. I think this may be true for some women, but not all. An Assclown is an assclown, with or without money. Either way he ends up treating a woman like crap. The older I get the less interested I am in games and nonsense. Money with never turn a frog into a prince or an assclown into someone worth dating. JMHO
 Just___Jim
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 55
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 1:54:39 PM

Dating is exhilarating. I'm on the rebound and feeling my oats.


Aren't we all. ^^^^^^

imo, enjoy your new high while it last! And just give your new friends in pof land that what you see is what you get!

^^^^^^^^
As they they most likely are in the same boat too. Or hopefully some day, you get both oars back in the water again. Pick you poison till then. good luck
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 56
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He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 4:02:41 PM
Because that's all we have to go on,ie:What Op said in her Opening Post and it does make the guy sound like an ar*se.


I just see it differently , The OP did not give a history of repeated offenses with this man.
One misspoken statement, one that may of had the best of intentions.

To attack this man , with nothing more to go on, is unfounded. If all women acted like some of the
posters, I would join the growing number of the men , sitting on the couch watching porn.!
talk about making the dating process impossible !

If people cannot learn to let words like these roll off them , or maybe have a cute comeback, ..then they very likely, struggle interacting with society.

If something like this causes you to become so polarized , as some one the posters have shown
Your probably not the kind of date most men/women would want. IMO

 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 57
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 5:59:58 PM
^^^ So would you happily tell Kim she has the "potential to be beautiful" if only she'd do this,that and the other..........


Op,im glad your senses were alerted to the type of guy he is and im sure you're relieved to have found out this early he's not someone you'd be interested in!
Always follow your intuition - it's usually right.
Good luck with the next one
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 58
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 6:16:55 PM
^^^ Who is Kim, and is Kim pretty? Does she have a profile, I looked on the thread and found no kim. Is this Kim for real or some virtual Kim?
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 59
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He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 7:06:57 PM
Oh, seriously DragonBits? You missed all about Kim, and Rachael, and third dates, and boats, maids, and phone numbers?

That's a shame! But don't despair. Basically, any Danielle Steele novel or daytime soap opera can substitute for that particular sordid tale of passion, lechery, and betrayal.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 60
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 7:31:20 PM
^^^ A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing ?
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 61
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He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 7:53:14 PM
Such behavior ,, tsk tsk, ,

I do apologize for the earlier post, It appears that my computer was on this page
when I left it for the night , and when i returned to it ..it failed to update.
also I had an additional media server installed today, for other people in the house
but,.I don't think it was the reason, for not updating ..?

"Kim" is here , and enjoying the post , thanks for the humor !,
 jewels9693555
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 62
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 9:12:35 PM
Usually that means he wants to change you. He doesn't want to buy you things. He'll end up telling you to lose weight, change your hair, etc. If he doesn't like you the way your are, you don't need him
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 63
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He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/1/2013 10:24:21 PM
After reading the op's remarks in message 54&55, and knowing a little about
the behind-the-sences activities in the forums
I'm not convinced the whole thread was BS and invalid ...just another troll
 RETJR
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 64
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 3:52:51 AM
Are you kidding me ! he is more concerned with outward appearance and should be conceived as a backpacker and not worth another minute of your time..
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 65
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He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 5:03:30 AM
OMG..
Woman

He just said you were NOT good looking/beautiful/hot/attractive/sexy ect.

WTH is wrong with you?

If he had said "you have the * potential* to be intelligent, fun, socially acceptable to his circle of friends" then what would you think?

Unless he is someone you hired to improve your appearance ( plastic surgeon/stylist) then that is what we call appropriately a DB.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 66
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He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 7:06:26 AM
Dump Him! If he doesn't think you're good enough now, he won't change later...or find something else wrong. I had a guy once who preferred me without makeup...I loved that about him!
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 67
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 7:51:06 AM
Dear OP, you are already BEAUTIFUL, I can see you have a lovely personality & spirit & I also see: lovely bone structure, even feautures, youthful skin for 57 & pretty eyes, & u have a nice figure...

At certain points in my life, I was : heavier, myopic, had shorter hair, didn't use makeup, didn't cover the beginning gray, dressed schlumpy.

Another poster said so elequently in another thread at least 1-2 months ago that at our age, dating is difficult (I am paraphrasing) & that sometimes we have to pull out all the stops to be successful...I know many people don't like this or believe this, but...

When I lost weight, wore my hair long, used contacts, then got lasik, dressed better, wore a little bit of makeup & covered the gray, I got much more interest from the opposite sex...

Perhaps he did not say it the way he should have, but maybe he was trying to say...some women, doing even all that I say above, still don't have that beauty, which is inner & outer, because they don't have the underlying attributes...but you do...perhaps he tried to say he thinks you are hiding your light under a bushel, not neccessarily insulting the way you look now.

Let's face it, men do judge women on their looks, initially, & as much as we want to be loved for our inner selves- until we can even get a man to notice us, how will he love our inner self, let alone KNOW it ?

This is a DATING SITE, & there is hardwired into all of us "natural selection"...

As a general statement, I see alot of denial...on dating sites, etc.

If losing some weight, growing hair, using $10 of makeup from a discount store like W-mart & $3 hairdye is going to improve my chances at finding a partner, I'd go 4 it...maybe not necssarily the man you write about...

In the past when people gently suggested I lose weight, wear my hair a certain way, etc. I initially took it as an insult, but upon pondering it, realized it was good advice.

Years ago, a friend said something that impacted me. She said "go ahead & listen to all those other people who say looks dont count, AS YOU SIT HOME ALONE ON A SATURDAY NIGHT."

Maybe this man is not so nice in his delivery, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater...& let me re-iterate: THIS IS A DATING SITE!
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 68
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 8:03:10 AM
Blonde angel.. I agree with you to a point.. I thinks its always better to put you best foot forward, however, I disagree with how the message was delivered. If she likes the way she is and wants a man to accept her that way, its up to her. I do agree men are visual creatures, however there does come a day when all the makeup and hair color wont cover the fact you are getting older. Although it is nice to have someone who really appreciates your looks, I think a deeper connection is needed for the long term. He already choose to date her, now he wants to change her.. at least that is what I got out of her post.
 Yesready
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 69
troll
Posted: 3/2/2013 8:38:21 AM
1. troll One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument


deere rancher, you wound me. My situation temporarily disrupted my life and I sought out feedback from willing forum participants. Now I gather you say I disrupted thread followers.

I do not play games. I am direct. If an issue overwhelms me, it clears my head to vent or seek other wisdom. When one is too close to the problem, it is difficult to choose the correct solution. In this instance, I also hope to gain knowledge of how to end a new connection graciously. I detest rudeness and avoid conflict. To face a man and say "It is not working out between us. I do not want to see you any more." is a challenge to me.
 Yesready
Joined: 11/24/2012
Msg: 70
you are hiding your light under a bushel, not neccessarily insulting the way you look now.
Posted: 3/2/2013 8:47:20 AM
blonde angel, thank you for your post with compliments and candid comments. I am very responsive to the sound of one's voice and I can imagine how you sound from your words. Very pleasant.

You are right on your thought that he may think I am hiding my light under a bushel, not insulting me perse.

Instead of the planned date with the aforementioned man, I spent Friday night at a local dive listening to female friends sing karaoke and drinking tap beers.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 71
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 12:19:10 PM
I haven't read the responses, but I have to admit my response would be, "what do you mean, potential? I am beautiful. Get away from me, moron. "

Just sayin'
 Talllkonnly
Joined: 1/16/2013
Msg: 72
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 2:23:09 PM
I read a few of the comments here all saying in one way or the other, kick him to the curb. Everyone here is so easy to judge and dismiss people for one remark for life. The context in how it was said was never discussed. Did you first say you wanted to lose a few pounds and then he said that. He could of meant it as a compliment but because of your own sensitivities you took it as an insult. Why don't you just ask him what he meant.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 73
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 2:52:43 PM
Blonde angel, you are so right in this post. You made changes for yourself which made you feel better. When a guy is pressing you to change yourself and hardly knows you is another thing. Today it looks, next your home then your lifestyle and the list goes on. Some people will tend to go overboard and control every aspect of a people pleaser. But I do agree on,

"Dear OP, you are already BEAUTIFUL, I can see you have a lovely personality & spirit & I also see: lovely bone structure, even feautures, youthful skin for 57 & pretty eyes, & u have a nice figure...

At certain points in my life, I was : heavier, myopic, had shorter hair, didn't use makeup, didn't cover the beginning gray, dressed schlumpy.

Another poster said so elequently in another thread at least 1-2 months ago that at our age, dating is difficult (I am paraphrasing) & that sometimes we have to pull out all the stops to be successful...I know many people don't like this or believe this, but...

When I lost weight, wore my hair long, used contacts, then got lasik, dressed better, wore a little bit of makeup & covered the gray, I got much more interest from the opposite sex...

Perhaps he did not say it the way he should have, but maybe he was trying to say...some women, doing even all that I say above, still don't have that beauty, which is inner & outer, because they don't have the underlying attributes...but you do...perhaps he tried to say he thinks you are hiding your light under a bushel, not neccessarily insulting the way you look now.

Let's face it, men do judge women on their looks, initially, & as much as we want to be loved for our inner selves- until we can even get a man to notice us, how will he love our inner self, let alone KNOW it ?

This is a DATING SITE, & there is hardwired into all of us "natural selection"...

As a general statement, I see alot of denial...on dating sites, etc.

If losing some weight, growing hair, using $10 of makeup from a discount store like W-mart & $3 hairdye is going to improve my chances at finding a partner, I'd go 4 it...maybe not necssarily the man you write about...

In the past when people gently suggested I lose weight, wear my hair a certain way, etc. I initially took it as an insult, but upon pondering it, realized it was good advice.

Years ago, a friend said something that impacted me. She said "go ahead & listen to all those other people who say looks dont count, AS YOU SIT HOME ALONE ON A SATURDAY NIGHT."

Maybe this man is not so nice in his delivery, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater...& let me re-iterate: THIS IS A DATING SITE!"
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 74
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 3:13:32 PM
Blonde angel.. I agree with you to a point.. I thinks its always better to put you best foot forward, however, I disagree with how the message was delivered. If she likes the way she is and wants a man to accept her that way, its up to her. I do agree men are visual creatures, however there does come a day when all the makeup and hair color wont cover the fact you are getting older. Although it is nice to have someone who really appreciates your looks, I think a deeper connection is needed for the long term. He already choose to date her, now he wants to change her.. at least that is what I got out of her post.

I agree w/ the above poster, how it was delivered...but maybe in his exchanges w/ her via email, phone or face to face he got a vibe that is not being put out (I'm not saying intentionally) in the original post...some people, myself included, when 1st dating after being married or in a LTR, are incredulous about the behaviors of the opposite sex...we don't know the man's intent w/ his statements, we were not there from conception of their interactions...

If a man or woman wants someone to like them "as is" that is fine, but it is going to limit your prospects/choices... and yes a deeper connection is needed...but how will anyone know how wonderful a woman is, if they do not look at her 1st???

No one wants to be someone else's project, so if she doesn't want to change & he thinks she should, she needs to end her dating relationship with him.

But overall, the flavor of the man's message does ring true. I don't like the fact that the sky is blue; but it is...sometimes we don't like the truth...that dating in middle age may push us into going out of our comfort zone in taking care of ourselves...

I think his delivery was probably offensive & he gave you a backhanded compliment...about 6 months ago, I was trying to give a compliment to a man I knew IRL, I was kinda nervous & it came out a little backhanded. He flipped out on me & I apologized & tried to explain...the man focussed on the slight, rather than the compliment, & the fact that I was STICKING MY NECK OUT TO COMPLIMENT HIM, etc.
No one is perfect...some people, when they like a person, get nervous & botch things...
You were correct to go to karioke rather than to be with him...but as I struck a nerve w/ a certain man months ago, perhaps he struck a nerve w/ you too? Just as the friend years ago said what she said about sitting home alone on a Saturday night...I say this w/ no malicious intent...I wish I knew way back then what I know today!
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 75
He says I have potential to be beautiful.
Posted: 3/2/2013 7:43:46 PM
Not to excuse the inappropriate comment, but I have seen numerous attempts at actually complimenting someone, gone array and do just the opposite.

Trust your own judgement on this.
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