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 Giggles10000
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 58
Does it matter if he lies about his agePage 3 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

Why is it that so many woman are so honest about their ages and describe their body type as average when they're 20, 30 or more pounds overweight?


Same reason men with grey hair say it is brown--

Here is the difference--your age you know--you cant change it--it is an established fact

Hair color--changes--hey I was a redhead a few years ago!

Height--with or without shoes?

Weight--it is open again to however the person wishes to interpret it--some like those with grey hair now see brown hair when they look in the mirror--others see where they are in life now and put a few extra lbs--heck I just put BBW cause that is what I am but I can understand that one man's average is another man's few extra lbs and another man's just right--and on some women it all depends on where the weight is located
 013552
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 59
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Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 3:11:18 AM
The obvious reply from most people would be yes it matters and to ignore the person, but then online dating is not so cut and dried as others might think,

you said in your post there was indication that he may have lied ? so does that mean you were already scrutinising his replies ? almost sounds like you been hurt in the past and now you very wary ,

once dated a girl who was 9 years older than she stated, would have been ok with that but she like jekyll and hyde character, so too draining so left,

if person lies about age big time to portray someone they not or were years ago, blank them,

but pof not as far removed from offline dating as people think,

scenario: you out for night with friends , get chatting with a stranger , swap funny stories, chat with each others friends,

find out person in 40's swap phone numbers, when you wake up next day, do you still like guy because he's on your wavelength, or not sure because may be age difference ?

in real life dating there aren't boxes to tick, but in pof there are, so people who could get on great never get chance to find out, because often inbox settings bar them,

in other words too many people see age as stereotypical, bit like goldilocks too old too young , but in life there is no just right, so go with your gut feeling
 Giggles10000
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 60
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 3:29:16 AM
^^ to be fair would be if the person that night told you they were one age and then you found out before you were to meet them again they had lied about their age--see there are several people who admit they initially lied about their age but they list their correct age in their profiles--and personally those who post old pictures are imho worse than those who lie about age--i swear some of the guys in my area have had the same main picture now for 5 years and have just changed the date on it to show it as current><
 013552
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 61
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Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 4:12:23 AM
true but most people on nights out don't swap exact ages, often they joke about is as in too young to care and to old to change, think if someone demanded my exact age i would steer clear of them,.as more interested in who they are inside rather than how many years they've lived
 Just___Jim
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 62
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 5:11:50 AM
buzzie xo

Fleetwood Mac with their Little Lies ... doesn't leave any different taste in my mouth than just bitter one but hey, there is also a sobering thought of moving on.


imo, when you first get here to take everyone for their face value! But after a few months you see that you can't take them all in face value.

imo, if at first you are very lonely,haven't dated anyone in a long time,or have a limited social life you put yourself behind the eight ball in a hurry! Not good.
Not good and you can easily be fooled by the phonies,frauds, actors, nutters, Comfort only zone types, etc here !
These are the biggest of all the time wasters here! I will guess there is about 80% or more who fit in this category.

imo, it's been my experience here if you first, Understand Honest People and not the "wishie washing one's" here your luck will change.And it won't happen over night! lol
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 65
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:28:31 AM

considering that more people are overweight than are not


That is a very sad commentary on the state of our population.
 Midwest_Southwest
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 66
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:40:12 AM

Why is it that so many woman are so honest about their ages and describe their body type as average when they're 20, 30 or more pounds overweight?


Because one is a fact and one is a judgment.
Birthdate determines age- not a judgment.
A measuring tape records height- not a judgment.
Body “type”?- judgment. If POF asked for weight, people could measure themselves and state facts.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 68
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:56:31 AM
In my opinion, someone significantly overweight would be more honest if they chose, "A few extra pounds." Especially if their BMI puts them either in the obese category or the upper portion of the overweight category.

I don't look at profiles anymore, so I don't really care how anyone classifies their body type.
 CDMer
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 69
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:59:59 AM
If a woman lies about her age on her profile I will not consider her for a long term relationship. Lying about one's age is a misrepresentation of a material fact, a fraudulent act.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 70
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 9:52:24 AM
I think a person lies about things about which they feel insecure or about things they are trying to hide. I think motive behind the lie is what is important here. Why did he lie about his age? Obviously because he feels insecure about it. Why does he feel insecure about it? Because he is a human being with flaws, insecurities, and failings - like we all have. Have you ever felt insecure about something? Most likely, as he feels more secure about his feelings for you and your feelings for him, he will tell you his true age. If his age doesn't matter, than why would it matter than he lied about it? Just because one lies about one thing doesn't mean one will lie about other things, too. Brutal honesty is not often the best way to have trusting relationships, and if you don't agree, than next time one of your girl friends asks you if she looks fat, be sure to tell her, "Yes, you look enormous, actually." Also, when it comes to age, many people have cut off dates on dating websites that screens out people over a certain age. Let's face it, many men would not consider dating a woman over 40, even if they are over 40 themselves, yet I have personally known many women over 40 that are far more beautiful than most women that are 22.

I once worked in an industry that was very harsh when it came to the topic of age. I NEVER told anyone my age, and many people that I knew guarded their age like an interest of national security or something - and for good reason! You couldn't tell ANYONE your age, because you couldn't take the risk that you would have a falling out and have someone stab you in the back. I knew people who lost huge career opportunities simply because they were considered "too old" and made the mistake of being "honest" to the wrong person. I also do not think women should ever divulge their age in the work place, considering how harshly a woman's age can count against her. So I could careless if someone lies about their age, if age doesn't really matter, than why should it matter?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 72
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:06:01 AM
Paderic -

Men do this as well. Many men classify their body types as "athletic" or"average" when they are obviously 20 to 30 lbs over weight. Perhaps being overweight is now the average. I don't know, but to me, athletic doesn't mean "I used to be."
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 74
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:19:27 AM
I guess I'd want to know why he lies about his age. I have a friend who says he is 5 years younger than me, when in reality he is 5 years older. No one would ever guess his real age - at most they'd probably think he's my age (54) and he looks better than a lot of guys I've seen who really are the age he claims to be. So, he's shaving off a full ten years but he is one of the few people who could get away with it.

It doesn't really bother me because I'm not romantically involved with him. If I had been, I would have expected him to 'fess up pretty early on, but it wouldn't have been a dealbreaker if everything else was on the level.

I haven't lied about my age since I was under 21 and going to the college bars with a fake ID, waaaaaay back in the day. I don't lie about being fat, either. I also freely admit that I'm not a natural redhead, although there are several in my family.

Everybody lies about something. Even if the lies are just "little fibs" told to be socially tactful, by definition they're still lies. My dealbreakers with lying would be on bigger issues - like lying on a resume in order to get a better job.
 cruisecontrol454
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 75
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 10:27:15 AM
Why should it if only 1-2 years. I can understand 5-8 being an issue. I come from a pretty big family, and every single woman lies about their age including my mother. If a person truly looks much younger than they are, what's the big deal, I don't hold it against a woman who takes a few years off, as long as they are younger than me.

Lying about being Married, Separated, Employed IS a BIG DEAL!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 77
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 11:17:22 AM
Paderic -

Men do this as well. Many men classify their body types as "athletic" or"average" when they are obviously 20 to 30 lbs over weight. Perhaps being overweight is now the average. I don't know, but to me, athletic doesn't mean "I used to be."


I don't recall saying they don't.

Why should it if only 1-2 years.


I don't think people only fudge by a year or two. Even so, if it doesn't matter why fudge it?
 Beevee65
Joined: 2/16/2013
Msg: 78
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 11:58:26 AM
If is lying already before your meet him that is not a good thing. So it matters if he is lying or not.
 T8kalook
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 79
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 12:11:29 PM
Great question. My first thought is, he lied. How can you trust him? But at the same time, age is such a hang up. If a guy is younger and genuinely thinks he'd be happier w/an older woman (just example) but older women reject him due to his age, I can see he might lie about it. That doesn't excuse it, but he did tell you. Maybe proceed with caution. You will be on alert for more lies, so you aren't being naive or anything. Idk. People are so complicated! Let us know what happens ;)
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 80
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Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 1:16:36 PM

I don't hold it against a woman who takes a few years off, as long as they are younger than me.


LOL

If you lie about a fact such as your age, I don't expect to read any truth in your profile which are usually things you perceive yourself to be.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 81
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Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 2:39:47 PM

MsMicki: Please show me where OP stated this man has admitted to the lie (if it is a lie).

TrishaF: here it is. the phrase "less than honest" would be the point that indicates he lied. Generally, "less than honest" means the answer was intentionally not accurate, and therefore a lie.


Pardon me......but how does that equate to the man admitting to the lie ????
Less than honest is the OP's interpretation of what she was hearing.....not an admittance from the man.
 RJHistoryGirl
Joined: 11/15/2012
Msg: 83
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Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 7:13:05 PM
I think it depends on what you're looking for in the relationship.
If you're looking LTR, yes. It's a trust/integrity/honesty issue.
If you're looking for something else (friend, STR, IE, etc), not so much.
Depends on where you're at and where you're looking to go.
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 84
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/3/2013 11:50:20 PM
to cruisecontrol
Message 76

you are 60(says in your profile)
and you say in your message here that as long as the woman is younger than you its ok.


and you meet a woman who says she is 58
she is younger than you so you date her

after a few dates, you really are getting along well, you like her,
she tells you that she is really 62.
what happens?
you already like this woman.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 85
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Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/4/2013 5:24:54 AM

fair enough, but does he need to admit to contradicting himself?

Trisha........you are creating a whole new line of thought from my original comment.....
my comment was in response to tnt who said:

He told you before he even met you, he came clean, with no prompting.

I was merely pointing out that the OP did not say the man had fessed up to a lie.

I still stand by my original comment.......which is the OP needs to verify if he was lying at all!!
Why judge without all the facts?
Then she can decide if she is the type that wants to get to know a man that can't handle being his own age!!
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 86
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/4/2013 5:37:49 AM
Just from my personal experience, once a lie is present, often more lies follow. this is not always the case, however has rung true for the most part in my experience. I am not quite sure why he would lie about that, but to each his or her own. Only you can decide if his initial lie is an acceptable one or not and if its a one time little white lie thing or a pattern of behavior.
 southernleaderman
Joined: 7/30/2012
Msg: 88
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/4/2013 11:18:14 AM
Yes it does matter. Trust me this will be the first in a long line of lies to come. What people don't realize is that being comfortable with who and what you are is very attractive to others. And when you open up on all levels, you can end up with a closeness with your partner that you never thought was possible.
 CDMer
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 89
Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/4/2013 12:04:12 PM
and you meet a woman who says she is 58
she is younger than you so you date her

after a few dates, you really are getting along well, you like her,
she tells you that she is really 62.
what happens?
you already like this woman.


Dump her immediately! If she lies about her age she is a liar. Who wants to be in a relationship with a liar?
 deserthykergal
Joined: 11/6/2010
Msg: 90
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Does it matter if he lies about his age
Posted: 3/4/2013 4:20:53 PM
Over the past several months I have been contacted by four men whose profile stated that they were 62 years old. Two of the men I met in person and when I questioned them about their age (they definitely looked older than 62), they fessed up they were actually 72. The third one fessed up that he was actually 69 before we set up a meeting. The fourth one got caught when I read his professional bio on line which would have had him graduate from dental school at age 19. Yeap, he was 73 years old. So it's not just the ladies who play that game LOL.
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