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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > A year and a half later, I'm still not over her      Home login  
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 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 21
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A year and a half later, I'm still not over herPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

cuddly_nerd wrote:

Anytime I even THINK of anything romantic, I get depressed.


In that case, don't think of anything romantic, just go out and have fun. Stop dwelling on the past, and do whatever you need to do to have fun. Don't look for romance or love, just look for a few friends to go out and have fun with.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 22
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A year and a half later, I'm still not over her
Posted: 5/19/2015 7:28:07 PM
You just have to let time go by, there is nothing to do to hasten the process. Just continue to go out with other women
but don't make any false promises to them but again do not state that you are not over your ex, either.
Wish there was a magic cure, but there isn't. We are all different and some can move on quickly and others cant.
If you were the one to be dumped then it is harder for you.
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 23
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A year and a half later, I'm still not over her
Posted: 5/19/2015 9:56:43 PM
Getting over a breaks up takes time, the more the other person meant to you the longer it takes, particularly if you don't really understand why it ended or can't really believe it.
Getting over her doesn't mean you won't think of her anymore though, that you won't remember the way she crinkled her nose, the smell of her hair or how she looked in a killer dress, i still remember everyone i've ever been in love with, those memories are a part of your life, you don't have to forget them just accept that they are behind you.
Getting over it means accepting that it is over, not just intellectually but viscerally and the only way i've ever found to do that is by getting on with living, making new memories and not dwelling on the old ones. Maybe don't date until you're emotionally available though, that's not really fair on whoever you date, you will get there, you'll just do it on your own timescale.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
A year and a half later, I'm still not over her
Posted: 5/20/2015 8:27:02 AM
OP: "We broke up two days before New Years Eve 2011", and the thread is over 2 years old. So hopefully, the OP has gotten over her and has moved on.
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 25
A year and a half later, I'm still not over her
Posted: 5/20/2015 11:32:57 AM
Ah I know how you feel OP. Well at-least I think I do ;)
I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about so no need to go on and on
and on about it.


don't think of anything romantic,

but.. but ..but D:
Haha


So hopefully, the OP has gotten over her and has moved on.

he was full obsessed so ma7be not?
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 26
A year and a half later, I'm still not over her
Posted: 5/20/2015 4:04:38 PM
David Coverdale and White Snake said:

The deeper the love
The stronger the emotion,
An' the stronger the love
The deeper the devotion

it took me 6 years to get better and even longer to regain my full self.
in the beginning if I saw long wavy blond hair halfway down a woman's back I had to go home and sit and stare out the window and quietly sob.

in the beginning I wasn't even safe from her in my dreams. i'd dream we'd be together in the kitchen and she's turn to me and say, "Isn't it great that we're together again?" then the doorbell would ring and when she answered it a man would take her by the arm, she's turn and smile and leave with him.

even now 15 years later when I watch Casablanca and Rick is by himself having a drink and Ilsa comes in to explain why she left him, I have to have a stiff drink...... or three.

I've buried her deep in my heart but sometimes she just digs her way up to the surface somehow.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 27
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A year and a half later, I'm still not over her
Posted: 5/20/2015 4:10:00 PM
tgif333

that was beautiful and brought a tear to my eye. Been in the same boat but ultimately I am glad that I was able to love that deeply and that sort of love never did come again and I feel that it may be the case with you????
.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 28
A year and a half later, I'm still not over her
Posted: 5/20/2015 4:27:12 PM
IF there was real Chemistry involved - specifically PHEROMONES - you are SoL as far as forgeting her. Evolution 101 isn't go to allow you to. Even if/when you find a "replacement" for her. All you can do is get back up on your horse and try to figure out why the Relationship ended.

And yes, OP is gone but the message still applies.
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 29
A year and a half later, I'm still not over her
Posted: 5/20/2015 9:33:17 PM
yes Letitia, I think you understand.

please allow me to indulge....

it was a very difficult situation and the aftermath was emotionally messy and extremely painful but I'm fortunate in that I know what real love is.

that feeling of being on a mountain top looking and being in heaven and looking down at the valley below. I felt sorry for the other people in that valley who thought they were in love because I was so sure my own love was so much more powerful and real than theirs.

I still believe I loved her on a level that most people don't know exists.

I think about the people who committed suicide because they couldn't live without that special person or that love that was so intense it ruled their every thought and emotion. I understand and identify with them. looking back i'm not sure I know how I survived the constant pain that developed into an ulcer and acid reflux disease. the stress that killed my brain cells and made me lose some of my memory, or so the doctor told me. I had trouble remembering friends names, where I was driving to and what I was doing at the moment. my temper and moods were unpredictable.
it was all such a bad dream. but I held on and go better.

I don't miss her. I miss the love.
 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 30
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A year and a half later, I'm still not over her
Posted: 5/23/2015 10:50:42 PM
If thinking of dating or being romantic depresses you, then don't do it. Focus your energies on something else - work/volunteering (being around hungry/sick/ people is a great way to take the focus off ourselves and our own troubles, I've seen.) Or just go and have fun doing something you enjoy, or try something new. Life is about a lot more than just a romantic relationship. Take the time you need to explore and appreciate a life alone until you are healed. Get to know who YOU are as a whole person by yourself, not as part of a couple. Really, time will heal, some people just need more time...and time away from the memories as well as the reality. Make new memories, fill up your life with new experiences. Once you're healthy emotionally again, you'll be better ready to have a healthy relationship again - without putting so much stress and effort into making yourself try.
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