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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > appearances      Home login  
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 jeni366
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 26
appearancesPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Aww-ree :

that isn't exactly a fair representation of the other thread you cite. The thread starter was asking if short hair was scary. Posters replying to that thread needed to look at the profile to determine the gender of the thread starter as the photo depicted with (her) post didn't make that clear


That's not the thread that I was referring to.
 ActualizedExplorer
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 27
view profile
History
appearances
Posted: 3/7/2013 1:39:18 AM
I think a simple quote will do. I'll even make it fish related, because I am that awesome.

Different bait for different fish.

If what you're currently doing does not work, then you might need to change it up.
Some guys like little to no make-up. Some guys like some make-up.
It's all about presentation. You can look presentable without make-up. You can also look like a wreck with make-up on.
Some guys appreciate the effort. I certainly do. I am always pleasantly surprised when the other person dresses up for certain events. Call me shallow if you will, but it feels great to be with out with a person who is dressed to kill, for a night out. I think it works for a lot of guys too. You know what would make that even more amazing? If that other person only has eyes for me.

Appearances are not everything, but they account for something. Body language makes a huge difference too. So smile!
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 28
appearances
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:04:37 AM
Not sure about the makeup & heels..but would it kill ya to smile a little?
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 29
appearances
Posted: 3/7/2013 6:42:59 AM
1) Most men want an attractive partner.

2) Beauty is a woman's power.

I would suggest at least a little makeup for your dates and online pics. Sell yourself.

Heels - I understand the beauty aspect of heels, but I have heard that they might be bad for your feet? Flats can look sexy.

Does this post make me look gay?!
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 30
appearances
Posted: 3/7/2013 6:44:01 AM
First, your profile photos are awful. You look unhappy with attitude..

I actually like to see a variety of shots. A casual shot in jeans next to one with her "made up" in a nice dress will give a very good idea of what she looks like. Most women post very good profile photos.. then there are those with pictures of cats...
 jeni366
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 31
appearances
Posted: 3/9/2013 8:09:53 AM
Thank you to all the grossly critical, inconsiderate, unkind people that plague the forums with a constant stream of negativity. I never asked for or wanted a profile review or a critique of my photos. I was interested in people's opinions in a general sense. Some of you look at a photo and you judge it negatively because it's not what you expect or want, it doesn't fit into your fantasy vision. I do not walk around in public with a smile plastered on my face and people have no difficulty approaching me for conversation. If my lack of smile truly gave the appearance of me being mean, unhappy, or having an attitude I imagine no one would ever feel comfortable approaching me. Stop being so stinking judgmental and stop offering advice that isn't asked for. My photos are not nearly so mean and ugly as the attitudes that some people put on display in these forums. You can dress up a mean, hostile, negative, cynical, judgmental attitude with a smile, but it doesn't make you a more worthwhile or attractive person. I'll stick to my unsmiling photos. If it limits the men that contact me, that's fine, I'll be better off for it.

My apologies and a sincere thank you to all others who have shared their opinions.
 Meeting_At_The_Crossroads
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 32
appearances
Posted: 3/9/2013 10:28:17 AM
Some folks are photogenic; others (like I) are not. Some profile photos do not do much for the person; in these cases, the individual should work at being their best. I suggest a photo whereby you are dressed up for going out to a semi-formal dinner, with a nice smile. It might be posed, but since this is a dating site and one is looking to attract someone, one must look his/her best.

Then there are others who do not have to do anything. Their sparkling personality comes out in each and every photo. They are usually smiling and looking happy. The clothes and makeup do not matter. But these are the photogenic types; and they are few and far between.

I have wondered why Markus does not start a Picture review topic, similar to the Profile review. While there are some who would quickly criticize in a negative manner, there are many who would provide a positive critique of the photo/s. I see many photos whereby I quickly click onward to the next profile; I often wish I could tell the individual that their photo does not help them, but rather hinders them. Some of us are better off with no photo on our profiles, and hope that the written word sparks some interest.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 33
appearances
Posted: 3/9/2013 10:57:18 AM
I have wondered why Markus does not start a Picture review topic, similar to the Profile review.

There used to be a dead simple alternative to this - we could rate each other's photos 1-10. Members could participate, or opt out, no one had to allow posted photos to be rated.

I don't know if this has anything to do with why it's now gone, but virtually everyone was rated at a demoralizingly low number. The only people who got high numbers were the few real stunners here and there. The occasional times I browsed the ratings, most of the good-looking people I'd have expected to get 7s and 8s, anyway, were at 4s and 5s, the occasional 6. Those whom I'd have thought average, 5s or 6s, were getting 2s and 3s. Must've bummed them out... I can only hypothesize that the function was used more by those who enjoyed putting others down than by those who were inclined to be neutral or generous.

And an inherent part of Profile Review is to review the photos, anyway. They may be the most important component. Sometimes you get perfectly attractive people who just have terrible pictures. I hope they do start getting better responses once they change those!

I remember the topic the opening post here refers to. She's a cute girl, who got that advice (which was clearly all wrong for the sporty, natural type that she is), and a lot of male respondents said so.

At 39, for the first time in my life, i had to wear make-up because they changed the rules in my shop job. When i looked in the mirror, i freaked out - i could see my face plus the make-up face on top, like i was a ghost looking through a mask. Obviously just a trick due to the first-time thing, but interesting i thought.

Oh, how surreal! Must've been a little disorienting, I'd think.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 34
appearances
Posted: 3/9/2013 8:54:52 PM
One poster said it best: To be who you are. .if one isn't comfortable with heels and a lot of makeup, don't do it. However, this is the internet, and one has to sell oneself. I think the best makeup is minimal makeup that enhances your features in a good way. .ie. covers imperfections, skin tone, etc.
 Terramay
Joined: 7/14/2012
Msg: 35
appearances
Posted: 3/9/2013 11:15:29 PM
I'd hope that you already are comfortable in your own skin on your own accord first of all.
I've met lots of different men who say they dislike women who wear lipstick which makes sense if you don't like the bitter taste of some lipsticks. But really, when it comes down to it you should do what you want.

The age old, "You look best without makeup." is a crock. Some men don't really know the ins and outs of makeup. Some women do need makeup. I think you and most other people confuse wearing makeup as a way of covering up, when really it should be used to enhance features that are good. And detract from features that aren't.

Its like dressing well. You should dress to fit your body in a way that flatters.
 lopezana
Joined: 12/25/2012
Msg: 36
appearances
Posted: 3/12/2013 11:16:16 PM
hahaha! I think you are right...
 lopezana
Joined: 12/25/2012
Msg: 37
appearances
Posted: 3/12/2013 11:17:54 PM
hahaha! I think you are right...
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 38
appearances
Posted: 3/30/2013 6:57:59 AM
Actually staying out of the sun is beneficial. The sun can age you very badly. I'm 40 and most people think I'm 30 or younger, and part of that is because I almost never go out in the sun. I like hooker boots myself, lol. Just a personal preference. Like someone else said, I could care less about nails. My priority goes

1) face - if you can look good without makeup, I'm fine with that.
2)boobs - I'm a boobs guy. Some guys are ass guys, and some are both.
3)hair - as long as it's not some cheesy outdated mess it's okay
4) clothes - I like, but am unable to get for obvious reasons, a classy looking girl.

That's the first things I notice. Online is a little different, because usually you get to know someone before you see them in person, and that can make them seem more attractive to you.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 39
appearances
Posted: 3/30/2013 6:59:24 AM
^^ So hooker boots are classy? LOL
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 40
appearances
Posted: 3/30/2013 7:20:38 AM
Okay, here is the deal - an important thing to most men is an attractive partner. Additionally, beauty is a woman's' power - use it! Shake it baby!
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 41
appearances
Posted: 3/30/2013 8:24:10 AM
When it comes to online dating, attractiveness can be a 'proven' fact by virtue of good, current pictures.

Physical attraction is about ALL you can prove from an online perspective, because what people write down in text CAN be very limiting when trying to describe the whole 'package' deal. Add to it, several people don't even bother writing - they put down three sentences and assume that's enough - or they write NOTHING and just say, "If you want to know more, just ask." It is extremely hard to capture a whole personality/lifestyle in an essay format, no matter how much of a master you may be of the language.

Your photos need to be a pretty good cross-section of your life to ADD to that personality assessment. Having just a face 'mugshot' alone, or a group photo of 20 people where you are barely visible in the crowd does NOT really show much personality. If you talk about being a Mom a lot, show yourself being a 'Mom' in a photo. If you go bowling or horseback riding, it's a good idea to 'prove' it with a photo.

This may not seem fair, bit there ARE expectations that your photos will appear 'better' than you usually do. Even if a guy works in jeans and T-Shirts all day, women still WANT to see him 'slicked-up' in a suit and tie to get an impression how he would look formally. As far as women - I personally would NEVER demand a lady to be tanned and in full makeup for a first casual 'meet me' date - BUT in a profile photo if you take the time to get 'dolled-up' in makes a HUGE world of difference impression-wise.

The idea of finding 'compatibility' or 'chemistry' really does NOT happen UNTIL you start interacting with the person through conversations - preferably in-person. There IS gaps of knowledge that WILL be filled over time through conversation and dating, so any false assumptions the other person makes you'll need to be a good sport about it when you correct him to keep the communication going. Good luck!
 Pinkgraybutterfly24
Joined: 3/16/2013
Msg: 42
appearances
Posted: 3/30/2013 10:55:46 AM
I am with you Trisha, I always keep myself polished when I am out and about so nails and SLIGHT mascara is usually always on. I also like dressing nice because it shows that I care about my appearance and when out you never know who you might run into (job wise and love wise). Its a personal preference. I think I look like my photos as not to shock any poor soul who decides to meet me, lol.
 Pinkgraybutterfly24
Joined: 3/16/2013
Msg: 43
appearances
Posted: 3/30/2013 10:59:56 AM
I also find it contradictory how men can look any old way they want and they feel the need to constantly bring women down with their cheap two cents. Jeni the ones that do the judging and the unnecessary photo critiques are the ones who aren't happy with themselves. Your photos are suppose to be YOU and not what someone else wants them to be. If someone meets you you want to be how you represented yourself. I see nothing wrong with your pictures rock on girl!
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 44
view profile
History
appearances
Posted: 3/30/2013 11:11:56 AM
^^^
(Why do you say that about these men? The OP posted to this forum and asked them for their opinion. You would rather men not express themselves?)

Simple...a casual photo and one dressed to the nines. Men will focus in on the photo they personally find attractive. They can't help it. We can manipulate them like dogs after a puppy treat. Who hasn't had a conversation with a man who keeps dipping his eye contact to your boobs. As stated by a few other posters, a women has power in this. Use it. You are trying to attract a male of the species and not win a friendship award or land a job. All this talk about be yourself is true. You're a female of the species. Sensual and sexual. It's completely healthy to turn on female gene.
 Pinkgraybutterfly24
Joined: 3/16/2013
Msg: 45
appearances
Posted: 3/30/2013 11:25:17 AM
I am attacking the guy who said Jeni looks mean and angry in her photos. She was not the OP of this thread. I like showing cleavage because I think its sexy. Some women think its cheap or its just not what THEY do. So many men have their suggestions of what women should look like its just funny to me how he commented on her photos like that. I would hang with her, her comments were sarcastic saying that she was "mean and evil". She doesn't like to smile in pics...someone call the photo cops!!!
 Pinkgraybutterfly24
Joined: 3/16/2013
Msg: 46
appearances
Posted: 3/30/2013 11:30:13 AM
oops, she is the OP of the thread...still defending her!!!
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 47
appearances
Posted: 5/9/2013 12:35:28 AM
OP~You seem to be a massively controling person. Your entire profile is about what you don't like and won't do. For someone who is so healthy you seem extremely sad and sickly, I don't think you need to concern yourself with the makeup and heels issue. Lighten up and enjoy life a little. It's a pretty cool place if you let it be.
 monocryl
Joined: 3/4/2013
Msg: 48
appearances
Posted: 5/9/2013 8:19:43 PM

Appearances are important. A first date is not the same, if she does not appear.

Ah, the appeal of a minimalist approach.
 jeni366
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 49
appearances
Posted: 1/11/2014 8:00:02 AM
I've changed my profile but I know what it said. It's not controlling, it's honest. I want someone who wants a real person, not someone who is good at playing games.

People put so much effort into faking people out. Some women work furiously to disguise their natural appearance and attempt to look like models and stars. They squeeze themselves into one garment to appear smaller, and yet another to create the appearance of more curves. They wear heels to make their legs longer. They risk their health and dismiss their comfort - to please men. Both men and women are guilty of being dishonest about their age, their weight, their careers, their financial status, and their lifestyles, all for the express purpose of gaining a date. You start relationships built on lies and half-truths in order to have someone. You hold your breath hoping that in time they will love you enough that they won't care about the truths and the changes you make as you revert back to the person you really are. Once a woman is in a relationship she'll be expected to dress and behave differently - because you're in a relationship. You can't show so much leg and cleavage and the flirting doesn't have the same value that it once did.

I am happy and I do enjoy life, but I'm honest enough to present a real picture of myself. If you are put off by it then I think that would suggest that you are the one that is controlling and uptight. That I should be expected to conform to your idea in order to be happy is absurd.

I notice that a lot of people express an strong opinion about what WOMEN are supposed to do to please men - what with men being so visual. I would like to have someone special to share my life with, but I'm perfectly okay being single as well. I'm not going to torture my body just to please a man's sense of beauty. A woman's natural beauty should be beautiful enough.

I wonder how many people think women should wear corsets and bind their feet for the sake of beauty. Corsets give you that sexy hour-glass figure and push your breasts up to make them appear larger. It's a look that men love and have loved for a very long time. And what man doesn't find smaller feet more attractive. Binding your feet will allow you to wear a smaller shoe and lend a woman a much more feminine appearance. How far are you willing to go for the sake of convincing a man that you are beautiful? Don't you want to be wanted for something other than your appearance?

I'm good enough as I am. It doesn't matter how many people don't see it and won't give me the time of day. I love me.
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 50
appearances
Posted: 1/12/2014 8:52:56 PM
A no make up pic would be nice. Glamour shots are BS. I think selfies, while not flattering, are brutally honest. I don't care if there's a hamper of crap behind you or a toilet next to you. I'd rather see that then some photoshopped Olan Mills nonsense that looks like a CGI nightmare not worthy of Avatar.

Just my two cents, make up is nice, but if you need a ton of it and a fake bra to look remotely attractive, well, then you're not attractive.

You know, a fake bra is like those potato chip bags that are mostly air. You open them up and POOF! More air then chips...hahahahahahahaha
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