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 AUTHOR
 gofurguy
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 26
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
i think people who say bad things about other people are just trying to reinforce their own insecurity, they can look at themselves honestly and so have to put down others to make themselves feel good. may jealousy plays a big part as well many times they are just envious of your ability to be yourself
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 27
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 7:52:49 AM
What does this have to do with love relationships... this should be deleted.
 GrayJake40
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 28
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:15:21 AM
OP, like abmccray said(meant), it's not a gender thing. More like "why do people say mean things to other people".

I realize that you were being specific, in this instance it being a man that did the mean comments. Yet, you generalized by saying "men", in your heading. At least add "some men".

Some people are just mean. We all fall under a scale of say, one to ten, of meanieness(LOL), of apathy, of compassion(or lack of), etc. If I had to speculate... okayyyyyy.... I would say it's their upbringing first and foremost. Secondly, their absorbance of compassions occuring(or not) around them , as they mature. And, their own "filter" of how to release what they've absorbed, be it good or bad.

More often than not, when I encounter a "mean" person, I tend to want to find their parents and smack them for failing... Unless of course the parent is elderly. Say like 70. Those, I just push over. I really don't like doing that, because it doesn't have the added sound effects of a good ol smack. And sometimes, they are confused. I have to explain why, slowly..... Alas, my compassion does not exceed my patience.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 29
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:31:40 AM
People in fishes are very brave behind their computers.
They often send unsolicited emails to other fishes giving
their opinions of their profiles, looks, intentions or whatever.
It doesn't surprise me that this mentality extends beyond the
fish pond.

I don't see people walking up to strangers and saying, wow, you're
really ugly or how come you're so fat, but somehow being behind
a monitor and having access to a keyboard gives some people the
courage they lack in real life.

It's worse when you're in the public eye....I remember the news personality
that responded to a rude email from a viewer who told her she needed
to lose weight because she was a bad role model or something like that.

Some people are just mean or ugly inside. Not much you can do but ignore
them and dream of a world where your outter shell reflects your inner
soul. Then at least you'd recognize an ahole when you saw one.
 pattie2014
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 30
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:33:58 AM
People that do this are very small and insignifigant people without a life that hang out behind their computer
screens and just like to ridicule other people. They diffentely are jealous and show their jealously through
their rude statements. Just don't even acknowledge what they say. Just consider the source.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 31
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:40:46 AM
browneyesboo – I think you hit the nail on the head. What some “people” are willing to say on line, they would never have the nerve to say to someone’s face.

I guess what I really can’t wrap my head around is why anyone would take the time/trouble to, think, write down and send such nasty comments to a total stranger completely on unsolicited and unprovoked. What pay-off/pleasure could they possibly get from it?
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 32
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 9:40:16 AM

Msg:5, Some men feel so powerless in never having any real "relationship" with an attractive woman, that they may attempt the remote "put-down" of anyone they can to try to feel a bit better about themselves and their lack of success.


the poster above you (Msg:4), does he get a power pass for only targeting 10's ? and i quote below:



That's awful and I am very sorry you were exposed to that crap. I was once obese and I genuinely care for obese people. I'm not attracted to them, but I pity them. They suffer. Every time I see an obese person...I see an old version of myself and I also see a beautiful soul under that flesh.

I think you're beautiful. I viewed your profile and I find you attractive:)

I have sent email to women that look like a 10 but have the most diva like profiles when I've read them. One woman looked like she was wearing saran wrap in her pics and also had pics with younger studs to prove what she was capable of dating. She claimed she was looking for a 'leader of men'....

I emailed her asking if she had any 'business attire'. Read Deleted. LOL!
 Petraeus
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 33
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:19:02 AM
You have to understand, when people say mean things its always because of personal problems they are dealing with.

Look past the words and you will see how much pain that man is in. He is probably dealing with his own weight problems or relationship issues, or school. Who really know? but empathy and understanding will cause YOU less stress, but only if you realize they aren't attacking you for any other reason but they hate themselves.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 34
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 10:30:14 AM
excellent stray cat. People who feel the need to put others down in order to make themselves feel better. They suffer from low self esteem and are angry bitter people. There is no need for personal attacks such as OP pointed out. I myself find any kind of "humor" that offends or hurts another not funny.
 zelig77
Joined: 2/7/2013
Msg: 35
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:34:00 AM

There is more to this than just the critical email. There is a palpable enmity between men and women that didn't always exist.


Here here. I'm sort of astounded at the number of men (or women) on the forums who really seem to abhor women (or men). I have noticed it in some profiles as well. Aren't most people on here to actually MEET someone to go out with?

I understand 'dating' can be frustrating but it just seems so over the top.
 Hoping4change
Joined: 10/28/2012
Msg: 36
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 11:37:59 AM
I agree Space. And it is easy to be rude or mean online where people have a false sense of security. Some people are arrogant and ignorant to the fact that if they were as perfectly desirable as they imagine, they would not need friends, a mate or anyone, for that matter.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 37
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 12:25:08 PM
You forget that there are a LOT of people who are incredibly oversensitive though... who feel like being told anything unpleasant is the end of their world. I got reamed the other day because a woman asked me what I thought of her dress. I thought it made her look 20 pounds heavier, 10 years older and the colour was all wrong for her; and that's exactly what I said. Well, you wouldn't know but I punched her baby in the face and threw it out the window. She started telling me things she didn't "like" about me as if I either cared or wanted to hear it.

She only shut up when I pointed out the uselessness of asking a question if nothing but "OH EM GEE, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!" was a "wrong" answer, and that I hadn't asked her what she thought of me.

Having said that though, the unsolicited email from the a-hole in the OP was unwarranted. He's just an unhappy little man taking it out on someone else.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 38
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:32:02 PM
NDTfan: I think there is something to be said for the saying "if you cant say anything nice, don't say a thing" I think your example was rude and uncalled for. No, you do not have to give false praise either, you can be decent and say nothing. Had this woman been a close friend, even then there are more tactful ways of letting her know the dress was not her best choice. Being nasty and down right mean is not called for in my opinion
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 39
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Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:38:20 PM
She was asked. What is she supposed to say? "I take the Fifth?"

As for the OP. I wouldn't worry about it. Lots of people with issues on here. Somebody once suggested, first contact, that I do the world a favor and kill myself. You need a thick skin to be on here.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 40
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:41:08 PM
NDTfan: I think there is something to be said for the saying "if you cant say anything nice, don't say a thing" I think your example was rude and uncalled for. No, you do not have to give false praise either, you can be decent and say nothing. Had this woman been a close friend, even then there are more tactful ways of letting her know the dress was not her best choice. Being nasty and down right mean is not called for in my opinion


Of course it was called for... she asked what I thought of her dress and I told her. If she can't handle the truth, then why ask. She's a grownup, not a 5 year old. I'm not in the habit of coddling people and I don't think it's "decent' to lie to people. If you think people telling you things that are unpleasant is mean and nasty, then perhaps the world is not for you.

If I'd said nothing, she's be crying because I "ignored her". If I told her I didn't like it, she'd ask why. And if you're fishing for compliments, it's on you to tell the other person. Or stop fishing for compliments.


NDT I never even suggested you lie.. I said try to be tactful, but obviously no one ever taught you that. There is a huge difference between lying and being tactful, respectful or kind. Your example was none of those things. You can CHOOSE to ignore and say nothing, change the subject walk away or even say I liked that blue dress you wore the other day better.. all of those are nicer, more respectful and no lying or deliberately insulting. IMHO


I find it insulting to be tiptoed around as if I'm too emotionally fragile to hear things like "Man, that dress is ugly", and I refuse to treat other women like that.

Why do you get to decide what "nice" is? Or respect? Or insulting? You're a prime example of the overly sensitive type I was talking about. The world doesn't owe you a life of lollipops and rainbows.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 41
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:45:15 PM
NDT I never even suggested you lie.. I said try to be tactful, but obviously no one ever taught you that. There is a huge difference between lying and being tactful, respectful or kind. Your example was none of those things. You can CHOOSE to ignore and say nothing, change the subject walk away or even say I liked that blue dress you wore the other day better.. all of those are nicer, more respectful and no lying or deliberately insulting. IMHO
 zelig77
Joined: 2/7/2013
Msg: 42
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 1:51:30 PM
I do think there is a pretty big distinction between asking someone what they think and then getting angry when they give their opinion VS feeling sort of sideswiped (perplexed, whatever) by someone who INITIATES contact with something awful (do the world a favor and kill yourself? OMG - that is just ridiculous).

I've had a few first messages that left me perplexed - I mean, if you think I'm fat/ ugly / foolish in thinking anyone would want to date me, why not just pass me by? Why feel the need to communicate that?

I have to say though, that is BY FAR the exception rather than the rule - 95% of the communication I've received on here has not been like that.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 43
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 2:02:35 PM
They have small penises...lol
 roadrunner2525
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 44
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 3:16:24 PM
I won't let myself send nasty emails. It doesn't matter how bad I feel sometimes I don't blame it on other people. If I say something that comes off as rude sometimes than it sure wasn't on purpose. The example you gave was someone whom set out to hurt someone and she ought to have them removed from pof.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 45
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Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 3:34:54 PM
Some people are mean. Some are not. Go with the ones who are not. Ignore the ones that are.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 46
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 8:37:40 PM
op/36: …why anyone would take the time/trouble to, think, write down and send such nasty comments to a total stranger completely on unsolicited and unprovoked. What pay-off/pleasure could they possibly get from it?

Somebody took the time to write down and send those nasty comments along to a forum of total strangers. What pay-off could they possibly get from that?

Why do these nasty men keep biting at my line? Oh look, there’s another one!
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 47
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Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/5/2013 9:41:26 PM
Why do women say "men say mean things..."
Wait, why do "some" women say men say mean things
Wait, why won't women say "some men say mean things"
Or possibly "why do some people say mean things"

The thread title could upset some men enough to say mean things to some women who think all men say mean things
 anothertimeinpv
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 48
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/6/2013 4:37:57 AM
Above post 1000%
"Why do women do things that make men soo mad they loose their tempers and opposed to physically harming them they call them mean words in their anger?"

Loaded question is a loaded question...
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 49
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Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/6/2013 7:57:42 AM
Some people are just plain nasty/bitter and go out of their way to insult complete strangers they are so miserable in their own lives that they want everyone else to be as miserable as they are, most would never say anything to your face but the internet allows them an outlet for their venom without reprecussions for their actions, they are pathetic cowards. The only thing you can control is how you choose to react to these types of people, I choose to ignore and pity them, they are only hurting themselves in the end.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 50
Why do Men Say Mean Things to Women???
Posted: 3/6/2013 8:17:53 AM
Above post 1000%
"Why do women do things that make men soo mad they loose their tempers and opposed to physically harming them they call them mean words in their anger?"

Loaded question is a loaded question...
_______________________________________________________________________________
anothertimeinpv- Women making men mad and then men reacting by saying mean things has nothing to do with my original question. But good try flipping the issue and making it women’s fault that men can’t control themselves. I don’t know who your comment is more insulting to…men or women.

My question was why I and my friend have had men unprovoked and unsolicited contact us to attack us about how we look??? So I posted, "men saying mean things to women."

And so far I haven’t heard from one man say any woman has contacted them unprovoked and unsolicited to insult their looks.
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