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 patchmanjoker
Joined: 7/28/2017
Msg: 126
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Why do girls stop replying?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Bottom line is OLD does not work very well. In the US over 50 million people have tried OLD and studies have shown that only 5% of them obtained a committed relationship using an OLD site. So basically only 2.5 million people out of 50 million were successful at initiating a committed relationship using OLD. That is why OLD commercials used to say "1 in 5 relationships start online" because those numbers include all web based interaction from FB to Reddit, online gaming sites, all forums and fan pages and everything in between. They had to use misleading stats because the real numbers are just not that flattering.. and that IS the bottom line.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 127
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 7:35:33 AM

It may be because you are more realistic in what women you can get. From what I've seen, people who cannot get a date have unrealistically high expectations. I'd say 80% of men can easily get a date but only if they aim reasonably.

Same thing can apply to women. Some women might have more success if they were less rigid and judgmental about their long list of requirements and dealbreakers. They reject men that could be potential matches because of a few inches, he doesn't have a college degree, he has a picture of himself with a woman etc.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 128
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 9:00:25 AM
Yes, but most women on OLD have the luxury of being choosy because of the supply/demand factor (way more men than women online).

I find as a woman that OLD is very good for finding dates. And what I really found eye-opening was wondering why the heck so many guys message me but then going and viewing the other women in my area in my age range and realizing that a good percentage are also single moms, many if not most are overweight and obese and looks-wise there aren't a lot of really pretty women. Its like most of the really pretty women don't go on OLD or there's a lot less of them in their 30s.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 129
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 10:42:17 AM

I'd say 80% of men can easily get a date but only if they aim reasonably.


I think that number is a bit high. Most men don't get responses and if they do, it dies out before they can meet up. That happens to me all the time. Maybe I'm part of the 20% lol.


I find as a woman that OLD is very good for finding dates. And what I really found eye-opening was wondering why the heck so many guys message me but then going and viewing the other women in my area in my age range and realizing that a good percentage are also single moms, many if not most are overweight and obese and looks-wise there aren't a lot of really pretty women. Its like most of the really pretty women don't go on OLD or there's a lot less of them in their 30s.


You're absolutely right. The ratio is super bad for men and I'm almost thinking I should throw in the towel as far as online dating goes. Most men should give it up and get out there in the real world where the ratio is better. Like you said, there aren't many potential mates online and the average people act like they're supermodels.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 130
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 10:47:16 AM

How? I can't even get a response, never mind a date lol.

Coma, I hope you don't mind my saying this, because I know this is not Profile Review, but have you considered changing up your pictures?
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 131
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 12:24:07 PM

Coma, I hope you don't mind my saying this, because I know this is not Profile Review, but have you considered changing up your pictures?


What kind of pictures should I be putting there?
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 132
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 1:07:07 PM
one recommendation I've seen mentioned here is new photographs, that if we're here long enough we lose our "new meat" smell, and someone who searches often, might recognize an old photo and be cynical and think you've changed since then. but hopefully the ladies will also chime in with their preferences.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 133
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 1:49:03 PM


Coma, I hope you don't mind my saying this, because I know this is not Profile Review, but have you considered changing up your pictures?



What kind of pictures should I be putting there?

*sigh*
Okay I am sure that I will get called a mean girl for this but I am going to be 100% honest with you. For the longest time I was confused by your comments. They didn't make sense to me. I thought you were a homely woman. Once I looked at your profile I realized that you are a man and your comments made more sense.

You definitely need new photos. Not only are yours not flattering but they are many years old. I am sure you can get some better photos. If you are going to utilize OLD you know that photos are paramount to success. You have been around long enough to be aware of that fact.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 134
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 2:00:06 PM

*sigh*
Okay I am sure that I will get called a mean girl for this but I am going to be 100% honest with you. For the longest time I was confused by your comments. They didn't make sense to me. I thought you were a homely woman. Once I looked at your profile I realized that you are a man and your comments made more sense.

You definitely need new photos. Not only are yours not flattering but they are many years old. I am sure you can get some better photos. If you are going to utilize OLD you know that photos are paramount to success. You have been around long enough to be aware of that fact.


Can you be more specific? What type of picture would be flattering? A head-shot, a full body shot, an action pose, a picture of me eating a salad? What specifically should I put there? Should it be an indoor or outdoor shot? Should I be dressed casual or in dress clothes? I was kind of hoping you would tell me why my photos are not flattering and what type of photo would be flattering. What makes for a "better" photo?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 135
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 2:06:15 PM
( Some women might have more success if they were less rigid and judgmental about their long list of requirements and dealbreakers. They reject men that could be potential matches because of a few inches, he doesn't have a college degree, he has a picture of himself with a woman etc.)


Let me get the straight. You think women would be successful if they accepted men they do not want.
Why would you think that either men or women do not know themselves well enough to know what they want.

Maybe women stop replying to you because they come to realize you think you know what is better for them than they do.
Nobody likes a controller.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 136
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Posted: 6/30/2018 4:51:06 PM

Let me get the straight. You think women would be successful if they accepted men they do not want.
Why would you think that either men or women do not know themselves well enough to know what they want.

Maybe women stop replying to you because they come to realize you think you know what is better for them than they do.
Nobody likes a controller.


I stand by my statements. I think some women (and men as well) could be more successful with OLD if they were more flexible about certain things. Does a man being 5' 10" or 5' 11" instead 6 feet tall make that much of a difference? In particular when a woman isn't that tall herself. If she saw the same man offline, chances are she wouldn't notice or care about 1-2 inch(es) difference.

There are also people that make broad assumptions and generalizations (which may not be true) based from a small piece of info. A man having a picture of himself with another woman doesn't necessarily mean he is a player. A man holding an alcoholic beverage in his picture doesn't mean he has a drinking problem etc.

Also this has nothing to do with women that stop talking to me because I am being "too controlling". When women have a long list of rigid requirements, I am usually not interested and don't talk to these women even though I may match or exceed what she is looking for. I would only give my viewpoints about this on the forums or when a woman asks me for advice about what is on her profile.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 137
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 5:06:24 PM
msg 147 and msg 148;
Maybe women stop replying to you because they come to realize you think you know what is better for them than they do.
Nobody likes a controller.



Also this has nothing to do with women that stop talking to me because I am being "too controlling". When women have a long list of rigid requirements, I am usually not interested in these women even though I may match or exceed what she is looking for.


Lucky for us all, we can choose who we want to date. If we need and want that 'extra couple of inches', so be it.
If you're put off by what women say they want, don't date them. (Even if you 'think' you match or exceed what 'you think' that particular woman is looking for.)
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 138
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 5:18:23 PM

What kind of pictures should I be putting there?


Pictures of a 6 foot tall male model standing beside, and then behind the wheel of, a $1.4 million Ferrari LaFerrari.

I have yet to see any guys fitting that description come to the forums and complain about lack of messages and interest.


Why would you think that either men or women do not know themselves well enough to know what they want.


Because......so many of them end up picking "problem" men and women?
Or do you think "problem" men and women are what they were looking for?

Case in point:

A woman I chatted with online (never met) started dating a guy she met at karaoke. He was 4 times divorced (she was never-married), and had just broken up with (his words) psycho ex-girlfriend. Her nephew knew the guy and warned her he was bad news. She told him to mind his own business. She ended up having to take out a restraining order against his ex-girlfriend. Long story short, the guy ended up dumping her and going back to the psycho ex, and left her with an std as a parting gift. And then she was all boo-hoo about men. And she was in her late 40's, not some naïve 20 year old.


Nobody likes a controller.


A lot of those "MUST BE" lists women put in their profiles make them sound like a "controller".
I don't read men's profiles, so I can't speak exactly to what they have, but if they have something similar, then both genders are guilty.


There are also people that make broad assumptions and generalizations based from a small piece of info.


Many people, if not most.


Does a man being 5' 10" or 5' 11" instead 6 feet tall make that much of a difference?


I saw a woman's profile today where she specifically stated that she was looking for man at least 6 feet tall, but NOT over 6' 4". So, apparently guys 5' 11 and 3/4" and 6 feet 4 and a 1/4" are unworthy, despite any other great qualities they may have.

Another SMH moment.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 139
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 6/30/2018 5:20:03 PM

Lucky for us all, we can choose who we want to date. If we need and want that 'extra couple of inches', so be it.

My point was those couple of extra inches that some women "need" or "want" can become meaningless when she sees the same man offline.

If you're put off by what women say they want, don't date them. (Even if you 'think' you match or exceed what 'you think' that particular woman is looking for.)

It's not just what I "think". I am simply basing that on what they wrote on their profile. I clearly match whatever height, education level etc requirements they have on their profiles and they send me emails expressing interest.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 140
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Posted: 6/30/2018 5:39:14 PM

What kind of pictures should I be putting there?

New ones, Coma. You know you've had the same main picture for years. ;-)
 patchmanjoker
Joined: 7/28/2017
Msg: 141
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Posted: 6/30/2018 7:30:37 PM
Something else I have posted in the past...

Interesting enough, I was listening to a talk radio station today and they had a female OLD expert on taking calls from women having trouble with OLD. Most of the women claimed that they could not find any good guys online. The expert claimed that a lot of women are looking for reasons to avoid a date instead of giving guys a chance, and if they have a bad date they become even more guarded. But, she also pointed out that more guys they see the better chance they have of meeting someone special....go figure. With OLD it is the women that are usually dragging their feet, this has been pointed out with statistics in the past and it still continues.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 142
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Posted: 7/1/2018 7:29:00 AM

New ones, Coma. You know you've had the same main picture for years. ;-)


That's obvious. I'm trying to ask how it will make women more interested if my new picture is similar to my old picture and I basically look the same.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 143
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Posted: 7/1/2018 7:54:01 AM

Coma_white on 7/1/2018 900 AM
Subject: Why do girls stop replying?
Message:
New ones, Coma. You know you've had the same main picture for years. ;-)


That's obvious. I'm trying to ask how it will make women more interested if my new picture is similar to my old picture and I basically look the same.


Probably won't make any difference. Maybe you should change your profile name--- 'Coma' is kind of a snooze~
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 144
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 7/1/2018 7:59:14 AM
^ ^ ^ ^ Only "basically look the same" to you Coma.
Either you want to present yourself in the best light to attract new possibilities...……...or you don't. Only you can decide. The rest of us, can only suggest, lead the horse. Are you thirsty?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 145
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Posted: 7/1/2018 10:08:44 AM

Coma_White
I'm trying to ask how it will make women more interested if my new picture is similar to my old picture and I basically look the same.

Cowboy (RIP) used to give very good advice, on this and many other subjects related to dating. I didn’t always agree with him, but most of the time I found his advice to be very good, very solid.

He recommended putting up the maximum number of pictures the site would allow (8 for non-paying, 16 for paying members). And rotate the main profile picture regularly.


Ladyinred0407
^ ^ ^ ^ Only "basically look the same" to you Coma.
Either you want to present yourself in the best light to attract new possibilities...……...or you don't. Only you can decide. The rest of us, can only suggest, lead the horse. Are you thirsty?

+1, agree with LIR 100% on this one.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 146
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Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 7/1/2018 10:37:38 AM

^ ^ ^ ^ Only "basically look the same" to you Coma.
Either you want to present yourself in the best light to attract new possibilities...……...or you don't. Only you can decide. The rest of us, can only suggest, lead the horse. Are you thirsty?


Of course I want to present myself in the best light, that's why I'm asking questions. I still have no idea what kind of picture a woman wants to see. No one has answered that yet. What makes a picture appealing to a woman?
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 147
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Posted: 7/1/2018 10:49:29 AM
^^^ It's not whether the picture is appealing; it's whether the man is appealing. So post flattering pictures of yourself. Are you able to recognize whether or not a picture of you is flattering?
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 148
Why do girls stop replying?
Posted: 7/1/2018 10:52:12 AM
Coma, do you have any female friends who could help you take some flattering photos and revise your profile?
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 149
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Posted: 7/1/2018 10:54:56 AM
^^^ Great question, siisaa.


In order to maintain the most flattering pictures you are restricted to having no more than 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 150
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Posted: 7/1/2018 11:28:39 AM

^^^ It's not whether the picture is appealing; it's whether the man is appealing. So post flattering pictures of yourself. Are you able to recognize whether or not a picture of you is flattering?


Not really. I can tell if a picture totally sucks but since I'm not a woman I don't know what catches their eye or turns them off.


Coma, do you have any female friends who could help you take some flattering photos and revise your profile?


I have a few I could ask.
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